You tend to lie a lot in Real Estate. Shitloads. Anything and everything to get the listing or the sale. Stupendous lies. It's standard practice. Then you get to go back to the office and exchange these lies and laugh... or maybe pick up some new ones to use next time around.

It's a highly competitive field, especially in this country where the 'shifting houses' trend has dwindled down to a five year cycle now. Used to be, one bought a house when one got married and then lived in that house and raised a family in that house and eventually died in that house... or was moved out of it due to ill health or high-needs care.

Nowadays houses are 'transitions' - stages one passes through; from the first one bedroom flat, to the newlywed house or apartment, to the house where young children are born and raised; then to bigger houses with extra bedrooms and bathrooms and large garages as the family 'grows' older; then the shift to 'downsizing' to smaller homes when the nest is empty, then into 'retirement' villages and finally... nursing homes.

So there's an ebb and flow, a mass of people constantly on the move, and constantly needing 'agents' to facilitate the process.

What are some of these lies? I'll tackle the ones told to sellers in this piece...

The price: Your house will be overvalued when you sign the listing contract. It has to be by necessity because you will 'interview' several agents and human nature being what it is, you will 'go' with the agent who swears your house is really worth that much! Then will begin the natural 'beating you down' process... where you are told yet more lies: "You don't want it sitting on the market too long; it will be seen as a lemon..." And "The price is right, but the buyers are hesitating. If we drop it a little, they might bite?" And "The market is turning... there's a lot more competition out there now..." And my favourite... "No matter what price we put on it, it is the buyers' who will determine its true value in the end."

Advertising: You will be told advertising and promotion is essential to achieving a successful sale. How will buyers find your home, if you don't make it visible to them? So you fork out thousands of dollars for a big sign, some glossy pictures in the 'Agency' windows, internet listings on all the major sites, letter-drops in the surrounding area etc., etc. Here's the thing though: Your average agent is handling at least a dozen homes similar to yours, all at the same time. They all generate enquiries, and thus buyers - often the same ones. Your average agent maintains a list of prospective buyers. So in effect, the house which just went on the market and sold ahead of yours around the corner or a couple of streets away has done all the advertising and promotion for you. Your buyer is likely to be one of those who missed out on that one? Your buyer exists before you even spend a single dollar see? Yet EVERYONE within that area will be told they need to advertise and promote, to attract what will essntially be the same group of buyers? 

Open for inspection: This one's a beaut. You are told you have to open up your home, so people (prospective buyers) can wander through and have the opportunity to "get a feel" and decide whether your home is suitable for them? So you go do some shopping or visit the grandkids as strangers parade around your house. You're okay with these regular 'inspections', because your 'agent' is supposedly scouring those wandering through, and just might get your buyer, this time? Know what your agent is really doing though? The first question they ask every new 'prospective buyer' is "So have you sold yet?" If the answer is "No," then these people become the agent's targets. That's a possible listing right there! If the answer is "Yes," then they will be left to wander through unattended, and the focus will be on the next prospective seller walking in. Your home is used to 'get more listings'... since the buyers already exist in the agent's list?

"The buyers are telling me..." This is the standard multi-purpose line, used to cover everything from over-pricing to bad salesmanship and every other lie told to get the listing in the first place. It takes blame away from both the seller and the 'agent' and places it squarely on 'the buyers'. The seller can't complain about the agent, and is left blaming some 'unknown others' who are determining everything during the sale process...

"They would have offered more but..."  Here's where all those things NOT mentioned during the listing presentation and before the contract was signed emerge. Again, blame is squarely placed on 'the buyers'. The power lines, the freeway, the recycling centre, the railway tracks, the asbestos, the damp, the 'knocking' water pipes... The moment an offer is put on the table, the agent has to justify its existence and get that house (your house) off the market. There's a huge whiteboard back in the boss's office and there's a big fat zero under the agent's 'sales' for the week. He has an offer in hand, and that zero needs to be converted to a one see? There are weekly and monthly targets to be met... So the offer is passed onto the sellers accompanied by the "but..." and anything that can be added, to justify its existence. This is sometimes combined with: "And remember how we spoke of what happens if we reject an offer waiting for a better one and it never materialises, or is lower than this one?"                     

Spring is the best time to sell... Spring is actually the worst time to sell, as most sellers are told to sell in the spring, and this creates a glut, pushing prices down. Anytime is a good time to sell. People do not wait around for seasons; children are born, jobs are changed, elderly parents move in, teens move out - at any time during the year. This is an artificially created 'market' sold on the principle that more properties bring out more buyers. Sellers buy into this, 'trusting' the agent who has been trained and who knows better? What the agent neglects to tell them is that their property will be competing against many other similar properties, in a market where other sellers have been told the same bullshit.

"I have an offer... but I think I can get you more?" Now this is a very sneaky approach, playing on emotions. The sellers are sitting at the table and seeing this pile of money, a 'deposit' usually presented along with the contract of sale. It is far below what they had been told their property was worth several months back, but... this money is real, they are handed the 'deposit cheque' to hold... and sure enough, the agent stays very, very quiet. That's the only line he needed. The rest is done by the sellers: A bird in the hand... an agent maybe thinking he can get them more... so many inspections and this is the first offer... is their house risking becoming a lemon... Yep, there's a look of resignation passing between them, and then once the agent sees this look, he asks the clincher question: "Are you sure about this?" That's so they can't come back at him for underselling obviously, he passes the decision and any consequences over to them... no pressure to sell from him see, he's the guy who thinks he might be able to get them more, remember?

"You've gone ahead and purchased your new home, so it's imperative we sell on time..." This is the equivalent of the 'mother lode' in terms of sales' listings. Sellers already committed to a purchase. This is a guaranteed quick sale. If they were stupid enough to sign the purchase contract without including the 'subject to sale' clause (which the other selling agent would have strongly advised against, since their offer might be rejected by the sellers who are likely to opt for an 'unconditional' sale contract) then they are sitting ducks. It's a matter of making a few calls to existing buyers, some made-up bullshit offers on the verge of being 'presented' and voila, a contract and a deposit materialise out of thin air and the agent is the 'hero', lauded for his skill and quick result...

There are many, many more. I have merely highlighted the most obvious ones. I spent several years in this 'profession' and to this day, I cannot walk past an 'agent' without cringing.

I think I mentioned somewhere else about my first ever listing, and how I dropped the 'manual' and the standard sales pitch right from the start. I was an oddity. I never lied. Mostly... there were the inevitable few exceptions where I had 'got it wrong' and I had to fix this wrong. I fixed it with truth though, even if it meant travelling 300 kilometres to get the buyer's signature. I developed this technique where I would walk through the house with the sellers before we even sat down for the traditional cup of coffee and tea. I would point out everything I spotted that could be detrimental to the sale. Then I would ask them to walk around as potential buyers on their own and take all those things into account... How important were they and how would they affect the price they'd be willing to offer?

This made it real see, they saw their house with new eyes. It allowed me to set realistic prices and funnily enough - I held the record for most houses sold significantly above the selling price for similar homes in the area - something other agents couldn't understand. They were overpricing and beating sellers down, I was pricing correctly, yet receiving higher offers? It baffles me to this day.

In this country at least, Real Estate Agents are 'bottom feeders', just outranked by Used Car Salespersons... Above them sit 'Cold Callers'... Not the noblest of professions and yet, my years in it were satisfying. Morally satisfying. In a profession where lies are truths, and truths are rarely revealed, I turned everything on its head, and spoke with honesty. I discovered honesty to be by far the biggest 'tool' in my arsenal. I sold homes in days, using existing buyers, doing away with advertising costs. I had a steady stream of sellers because I built relationships. I cared. Sometimes it took a couple of years from initial contact to me getting that listing, but in that time, there was a card with that person's name and brief notes on every contact made, so I was not a 'stranger' walking into their home when they were ready, I was someone they had come to know and to trust.  

They don't teach you any of this when you are studying for your 'licence'. They teach you marketing and sales techniques and how to 'negotiate' which broadly translates into how to 'lie, cheat and browbeat' to get the listing or the sale. They teach you buyer and seller motivations and how to use these to your advantage. You are the shark, fighting off other sharks and feasting on your wins.

Why I cringe now, every time I spot a new 'shark' in a too-tight suit..