Back to Real Estate. Only because it serves as a fine example of what I want to say here... I could have used the old fishing analogy - one did get away once there too - but hey, you've had your fill of those stories, right?

We have many successes in life. Those we take in stride. Job done, move on. A celebratory moment or two, then they are behind us, maybe stored somewhere to be recalled later?

Same with relationships I guess... Most we take in stride. Move on and again, store somewhere.

Oh but there's the one thing we can never move from: The one that got away. It haunts us. It irks us like an itch we can't scratch and a failure we can't EVER fix. A hundred successes mean zip when pitted against this one failure.

...I had an elderly couple as clients - I think I've mentioned I kept a file of perspective sellers and checked on them from time to time, either by phone or dropping in when I was in the area? This couple always served home-made shortbread biscuits and tea, and those biscuits - I swear Ican still taste them?

I got the call one day, after several months of only phone conversations - we were an agent short and I was pulling twenty hour days. I will call them John and Mary... for reasons which will become obvious later.

Anyway, I fronted up to the house and something was amiss... the small garden outside was unkempt... John loved his garden and the roses he so carefully had tended were now looking bedraggled; weeds spreading and covering the once mulched, moist soil.

Mary answered the door. She looked at me and for a moment I saw confusion in her eyes. They quickly cleared however and she gave me the usual hug and led me to the side room where they spent most of their day; the bay window overlooking the busy street, a local Primary School a couple of hundred metres away. John was in his usual recliner. He didn't look too good; there was something amiss about him too.

They wanted to move to a retirement village nearby, to be close to several friends who'd moved there. Over the course of three hours, two things became apparent to me: John was quite sick and Mary... Mary had Alzheimer's? There were no delicious shortbread biscuits that day. No cup of tea. Mary often lost track of the conversation, interrupting with a sudden memory she thought needed sharing. John hardly spoke, staring out of the window and nodding once in a while.

This couple had one daughter. She lived about half an hour away. I went through all the usual procedures with them, filled in the paperwork  but said I would not make them sign that day - I wanted their daughter and her husband present. I told them I would contact her and make a time for the five of us to sit down and discuss the procedure again. They were going to be picked up by their friends the next day, to see the unit in the retirement village as it was being opened for inspection. I warned them not to say anything to the agent - unfortunately I was heavily booked out the following day and could not accompany them. They assured me they would just look it over and then wait till we met up with their daughter and son in law.

I phoned the daughter (this was on Sunday,) as soon as I went back to the office and made a time to see them on Friday. The unit John and Mary were interested in was going to auction the following day, Saturday at 11.00am. I was always weary of clients deciding to purchase before having sold, as this put pressure on the sale of their home; often resulting in bridging finance if the home did not sell and settle before the settlement took place on the purchased one.

I put them out of mind and continued with my other appointments the next few days. Friday morning, I received a frantic call from the daughter. I shuffled clients around as best I could and rushed over to her parents' house.

"Elise, tell me this is not binding?" This from the daughter; handing me over a signed agreement from another Real Estate office in the area, one I knew only too well.

I had a quick read through and it was absolutely airtight, they had locked themselves into a contract to auction their house in one month's time.

"What happened?" My shock was palpable. Not because I'd lost the sale but because someone had taken advantage of my clients. Someone had walked onto my turf and coerced them into signing, despite their very obvious issues.

"Elise we went to inspect the unit and there was a nice young man there and he asked us if we were interested in buying it, and we said yes, of course, since we had friends there?"

"Did he ask you if you had a house to sell?" This directed at John.

"Yes he did and he was kind enough to follow us back here and help us with all the paperwork to sell this house. We don't want to lose that unit Elise. And he's going to get us a lot more than what you said?"

"How much?"

"He thinks it's worth between five hundred and five hundred and fifty thousand?

I bit back my fury. Typical scenario: "A lot of buyers interested, you don't want to miss out, and best you put your house on the market as quickly as possible - so we can coordinate the settlement dates and get you easily moved." This of course followed up by an over-inflated valuation, the final seal on the agreement.

The daughter looked very concerned. "So can we get them out of it?"

"Not unless you are willing to go to Court and declare them both mentally incompetent," I told her. " The cooling off period has passed."

"I can't do that!"

"Then we're stuck with having an auction in a month."

"But you had buyers ready Elise?" (I had sold the daughter's previous home in a matter of days, without any advertising, simply making some calls to existing waiting buyers.)

"I did."

"I don't like auctions. What if it doesn't sell on the day?"

"Let's look at one problem at a time?" I suggested.

"John, Mary, did you happen to disclose to this agent what you were prepared to pay for the unit?" That had been my number one concern at this point.

"Yes, he asked us and we said four hundred and ten thousand was the most we could afford," Mary replied.

I groaned inwardly, their situation deteriorating further in my mind.

"Okay, I'll come with you to the auction tomorrow, and see what happens. Then we'll take it from there."

Next morning at 11.00am, I arrived at the unit complex. First thing I noticed was the lack of 'real buyers'. You can spot them easily after a while and separate them from nosy neighbours, other prospective sellers in the area and the auction junkies who go from property to property, getting whatever high they get from the experience.

I knew John and Mary's budget was $410,000. I was also aware now that the selling agents knew this also. And then I spotted him. Too tight suit, shiny shoes, lots of hair product and mobile phone in hand: The plant. Another agent from a different office but belonging to the same franchise as the agency selling the unit! Ostensibly representing a client who 'couldn't be there' and who would be bidding via phone?

There were two other real bidders, an elderly couple with their family in tow and a Chinese couple who appeared to be potential landlords, buying the unit as an investment property.

The bidding started at 300k. It rose slowly despite the auctioneers booming voice extolling its many virtues. It stalled at 360k. The elderly couple were clearly out. That's when the plant raised his hand and said, "370 thousand."

The Chinese couple after some hesitation raised the bid to $375k. My clients' daughter raised it to $380k. The plant immediately countered this with $385k. Nothing from the Chinese couple. Then there was that silence, where you know the auction really is over? I looked at the daughter and nodded. They still had a little money to play with, and I knew how much her parents wanted this unit. The daughter said "390 thousand."

"$395 thousand," instantly from the 'plant'. They were going to be pushed to pay the full $410 thousand; this became very obvious to me! I nodded again, despite knowing full well the outcome. A $400k bid was placed by the daughter and immediately raised to $407k by the suit. One final nod from a very angry me and the daughter said "$410 thousand."

The plant put the phone away. The auctioneer wasted no time and declared the unit sold. My clients had been played. Nothing I could have done about it. They went inside to sign the contracts and hand over the deposit and I stayed outside, contemplating how to best help them from this point on.

This was the main issue for me: Both on pensions, the sale of their home (which I'd valued at $480k) would afford them a small nest egg after stamp duty and commission was paid out, to help with unexpected emergencies. Their minds however were focussed on the more inflated valuation,and I'd heard some small talk earlier about buying new furniture and replacing some appliances?

I won't go into great detail about how the next month progressed. I will say they were systematically worn down, their expectations re the anticipated price lowered... and the house failed to sell on auction day? It sold two months later, at $410k. Not only were they left without a nest egg, the daughter had to cover the advertising expenses, agent's commission and stamp duty on the purchase?

John died several months after moving in to their new unit. The stress had taken a big toll on him and he suffered a fatal heart attack. Mary was moved into a nursing home shortly afterwards as she was no longer able to take care of herself with John gone. She died almost two years after her husband. The unit was subsequently sold by the daughter and I did not handle the sale. I couldn't.

It has haunted me, this particular sale. I often think back and wonder if my doing the right thing had in fact been the right thing? Real Estate is a nasty business. Had I in fact failed to protect my clients from the 'sharks' circling? Had I been remiss in my duty to them - or rather, had my hesitation led to the chain of events which followed? What would I have done in hindsight?

There's this three day cooling off period see, where you can cancel an agreement within the ensuing three days? Perhaps I should have got their signatures and then waited for the daughter to make the final decision? Perhaps I should have dropped other clients and gone along with them to that fateful inspection?

Yes they were elderly and in poor health and perhaps the outcome might have been the same had I been their agent. Why I say this is the one that got away... I just relive their final months/years and think of the angst and confusion and disappointment they faced... All because a callous and typically greedy agent did not see the people; only the double sale and twin commission. That seminar several hundreds of us had attended on Ethics In Real Estate - he must have been one of the ones using those hours to tee up appointments and fill his diary?