Rick's POV

It had all happened, not necessarily fast, but it seemed as if we were both reacting to everything in unison. As if for the first time since we had met we were in tune with each other.

When Avery confessed to me it seemed more as if he were standing before a priest confessing his sins instead of before his mate confessing his love. His breathing was ragged and his body shook like a leaf. I had lifted him up off the cold floor and brought him back to the couch sitting us both down. We were silent for a while both of us staring at the growing fire as we processed what we had both just committed to.

It was Avery who kissed me first.

He had seemed unsure staring at me for a while flinching back every so often as if he were afraid I would attack him. I sat still letting him do whatever he felt comfortable with.

"Close your eyes."

I had stared down at Avery for a moment. I saw the flicker in his eyes and obeyed without question. Nothing happened for a few silent moments but then I felt his warm soft fingers graze against my chin then move higher to my cheek. He paused running his fingers over my beard before I felt the hot puff of air over my lips and knew he was facing me only about an inch away. I didn't move.

Avery's kiss was hesitant at first. Soft, butterfly-like as he slowly grew accustomed to it. At some point he must have gained more confidence for his warm lips pressed more firmly against my own before he was opening up slowly, I in turn opened my mouth as well. I didn't force anything. I allowed him to explore and enjoy the kiss for what it was meant to be.

Through this soft, almost innocent kiss I felt love. I felt the fragile, hesitant yet determined love that Avery was offering me. This wasn't an animalistic kiss that demanded something of either of us. It was a kiss that offered everything. It offered a chance. For both of us.

Avery pulled back first and I opened my eyes to see his flushed cheeks and his pink lips as he stared up at me with red rimmed eyes. I smiled and ran a thumb under his eye wiping away the remnants of his tears cupping his cheek in my hand. Avery smiled back faintly and wrapped his uninjured arm around my shoulders.

As I watched the wheels turn inside Avery's head I leaned in and laid a firm kiss upon the rough surface of the pale blue cast on his arm. My instincts coming forward as I began to remember the silent promises I had made back in that cold white hospital room.

"Can we talk?"

I glanced up at Avery to see him looking a little more in control. I nodded and made to move back a bit to give him some room but Avery grabbed onto my sleeve and shook his head as he pulled off the thick quilted blanket from the back of the couch and placed it on the floor. I moved off of the couch and we both made our way to the floor spreading out the thick blanket and laying down a few pillows until we were both comfortable; Avery laying on his back as I laid on my side facing him.

"What do you want to talk about?"

Avery ran a nervous hand through his beautiful snow white hair and I noticed his hand was slightly shaking. On instinct I moved forward to offer him comfort and pulled his hand into mine and intertwined our fingers giving him a reassuring squeeze. He looked over at me and gave me a faint smile.

"You've told me about you so I thought it was only fair that I shared with you some things about me..." He paused as I thought over his words and my eyes widened as realization came over me.

"You heard me?!"

His smile grew and he nodded giving my hand a squeeze in return as I felt my cheeks burn slightly. Well shit, I felt a bit embarrassed.

"If this," He lifted up our conjoined hands, "is going to work I think I need to come forward about some things."

Avery took a deep, fortifying breath before he stared determinedly up at the ceiling, and with one last squeeze to my hand he began.

"I don't remember my mom. Honestly I never met her.

My dad told me she was always fragile and sick and they were told she could never get pregnant. Then I came along. Although he never fully came out and said it I know she died giving birth to me... When my mom died my dad moved us up into the mountains. I think it's because he was paranoid about losing me too..." Avery took a deep breath and I saw his face soften a bit as memory took place of nerves.

"We lived in a cabin a lot like this one. My dad had built it all by himself and everything inside was warm and soft giving it that type of... homey feeling that makes you just want to stay there forever.

My father was a great guy. He was huge. Sort of like you but more along the lines of my muscle structure. To me he was the biggest thing on earth. And when he shifted, man, his fur was soft to the touch with warm, thick muscles. He was the picture of what all polar bears strive to be. But he wasn't... overbearing, you know? He was protective but always encouraged me to explore.

I remember on cold winter nights he would wake me up and dress me in all black so then we would go out and watch as the snow fell...it was one of our favorite things to do. Just to watch..."

This is when he paused. I didn't move or speak as I saw his eyes glimmer with emotion. When he continued it was in a cracking voice that trembled slightly but held firm in a silent conviction to say what had to be shared.

"I loved my dad. I did. I know it sounds obvious but he was my world. He was my everything. I didn't have anyone else but him... One night... It started to snow pretty heavily and I... I didn't want to go inside. I j-just wanted to s-stay and play... We were running in the snow and t-t-then I fell... There was a lake and it had just frozen over... I-I was scared... the ice broke... b-but I wasn't the one who fell in..."

Avery didn't turn to look at me. He just silently laid there as tear after tear trickled slowly down his face. I ran my thumb gently over the back of his hand trying to somehow give him comfort in this small touch.

He didn't have to say it. I knew what happened, and, to me, this new knowledge brought everything into clarity. Everything Avery had done and said now made sense. His fears, his doubts, his anxiety, everything came into focus. As I watched on in silence I didn't have to ask to know...

... he had never told anyone this before...

"Then the blizzard came... I couldn't find the cabin... I don't know if I wanted to... I stumbled across a railroad and somehow was able to get into one of the cars. The owners knew about shifters for they worked with a lot of them. And apparently the Conductor had a friend in a nearby pack in Canada and had gone out of his way to take me there.

So that's how I ended up here. Raised by wolves you could say..." he gave a soft chuckle, "I grew up surrounded by wolves and for a bear... honestly, it was hard. They were all so social and open about everything and I just felt like this... this odd ball of white fur...

They weren't mean by any means and I truly do appreciate what they did for me it's just... sometimes I would wonder what it would have been like to... to be raised around bears, you know?"

He glanced over at me and I gave his hand a soft squeeze. I understood. Maybe not all that he had to go through but I understood the innate craving to be with your own species. It's instinct. To find comfort in your own kind. And I think he saw that I understood.

I saw something happen to Avery as he continued to talk about his childhood and his years leading up to now. It was as if, slowly, a monstrous weight were lifting from him. As if all these years had piled brick upon brick upon him and now one by one with each word he spoke they were being taken off. I found myself laughing at the fights he had to break up. Growling at the fights he was forced into. Kissing his cheek softly at the loneliness he felt during his teenage years.

It was when he paused and turned to look me straight on that I found myself realizing that the person before me was Avery Nanuk.

Up to this point I had known little to nothing about Avery beyond what I had heard from others and the small bits he had let slip. But now I could see it. All of it. The struggles, the pain, the fears, the bravery, the strength, the stubbornness, the tenacity... the love.

This was Avery.

"And then I met you."

Avery's face slowly grew into a large smile as his eyes shown with true and genuine happiness and his smile was so contagious that I couldn't help but join in.

"And what did you think?" I said the question on impulse and smiled as he quirked an eyebrow at me.

He paused and hummed in thought, "Arrogant. Self-assured. Cocky. A bit on the caveman side of hairy."

My jaw dropped at his adjectives and I playfully squeezed at his side making him squeak as he grabbed my wrist trying to stop my attempts at tickling him.

"COCKY Definitely COCKY!!!"

His loud barking laugh echoed through the cabin and I felt myself laughing right along with him. I let up a little bit as I noticed his breathing begin to falter a bit and I laid off completely and gently ran my hand over his chest as he gulped for air. His cheeks were flushed from laughter and his smile softened as he stared at the ceiling.

"Honestly I didn't know what to think of you. You were just this big, hulking, thing... How was I supposed to react? Especially when you were so... aggressive and blunt about everything."

He chuckled and I couldn't help but join him. It's true I'm not exactly a very patient grizzly. But come on give me some credit! I lasted this long haven't I?

"But... I suppose in all honesty I cannot fully blame you..."

Avery's hand softly ran up and along my arm and I saw the small spark in his eyes and could not help the grin grow upon my face. From our moving about his sweater had begun to ride up and I easily ran my fingers along the exposed heated flesh. My touch was light and I watched as Avery's eyes shut tight and a gasp escaped past his parted lips as I traced the almost translucent white hair leading down to the hem of his jeans.

"Avery."

My voice was beginning to turn rough as I kissed a trail from Avery's collarbone to his earlobe, softly taking the plump flesh between my teeth and sucking lightly. The reaction was almost immediate as Avery's body curved like a cat up into my own and I felt the soft vibrations of a growl come from his chest. I released the abused flesh and leaned back to gaze down to find two shimmering blue orbs staring intently up at me.

Avery's pupils were dilated but I was still able to see the entrancing ring of ice blue around the abysmal black. His cheeks were flushed and his chest rose and fell taking in large pants under my own. He looked hesitant, almost scared and I felt myself ease back a bit as I laid my lips gently against his forehead.

"We can stop."

I could hear it in my own voice that I didn't want to stop but I felt deep in my chest that I would back off if Avery asked me to. At the sound of my voice it seemed as if his mind was released from some trance. I watched him carefully as he looked off to the side and deep into the fire. The bright flickering flame reflected in the depths of his blue orbs as I lifted myself lightly from his body.

As I leaned back I couldn't help but marvel at how beautiful he looked.

It wasn't a fragile type of beauty that most find attractive in their mates. But a strong, stubborn type of beauty that is carved out of ice from years of truly living. I could see the muscles under his sweater flex gently as he breathed. I watched as his smooth jaw clenched and relaxed in thought. His hair had been cut just recently and he had chosen to cut it shorter than before going for only about two inches long in the front. I liked it. It allowed a clearer view of his eyes.

His defiant, stubborn eyes.

I smiled as I realized the man beneath me wasn't as fragile as I had made myself believe. Far from it. He was a strong and independent person. His beauty came from his natural strength not from the look of his skin.

I flinched from my thoughts when I felt fingers playing with my hair. It must have looked like a disaster with all this moving about. Avery chuckled as I realized I must have been lost in thought longer than I realized.

"What were you thinking about?" m

My eyelids drooped as his skilled fingers twirled my hair about as if he were memorizing every strand.

"I was just thinking about how you are not weak."

His eyes widened and his fingers stopped. Then his face morphed into something I couldn't quite read. It was as if he were sad yet happy, embarrassed but frustrated. And there was a small hint, just a drop, of gratitude. His fingers shifted down from my hair to my chest and I knew he felt my heartbeat.

I took this opportunity and fell forward to capture his lips. I didn't even have to ask for entrance as he opened willingly. His fingers tugged softly at the back of my hair as his one free hand tangled itself in my hair. As the intensity of the kiss grew it was becoming quite apparent something else was growing as well. I felt my hips push forward and begin to rub against his inner thigh as we both let out low moans that could have easily been mistaken for growls.

My pants were becoming a little too tight and I felt myself reach down to loosen the source of the problem. As my hand rose from loosening my belt I found the heated skin of his stomach and ran my hand under his shirt tracing along the soft lines of his muscles and ribs until my fingers touched the cloth of his bandaging and suddenly I felt a hand placed firmly against my chest.

"I'm sorry did I hurt you!?"

I felt my heart leap into my throat as I yanked my hand back and looked frantically about to see if he was in pain. Instead of a whimper there was a bark of laughter as Avery covered his face with his hand and laughed at me.

"Ha ha hehe! I was just going to say... maybe we can wait..."

"...oh..." my shoulders began to fall and I eased back from Avery. I lowered my head as I let out a long sigh and tried to reign everything in.

Trying to picture old grannies in bathing suits.

Avery's hand moved back to my hair as he tousled it playfully and chuckled, "Don't look like I just told you the world ran out of chocolate."

He laughed but I found little here that was funny. I glanced up at him still trying to reign it in and not jump him and have my wicked way when I saw he had a crooked smile.

"I think you can last three weeks don't you?"

I raised an eyebrow at the random chosen date and Avery promptly lifted up his casted arm and smiled wickedly.

"The doctor said I should be getting this thing off in three weeks. And when I do neither of us will have to be overly cautious. Don't you think?" Avery gave me a wink and I felt myself begin to understand and smile along with him.

My, my. My mate is quite the scandalous little one.

I reached forward and took the cast gently in my grasp and kissed it gently keeping eye contact with Avery the entire time.

"Three weeks huh?"

He nodded.

"Well that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun does it?"

I quirked my eyebrow and watched as his cheeks turned a beautiful shade of pink as I found myself mentally beginning to count down the days till the next doctor's visit as I showed my scandalous little mate what kind of fun I had in mind.

Avery's POV

Three weeks later

Well it is official. I have a death wish. Maybe I had been dropped on my head as an infant. Maybe I had some type of disease that made me make terrible decisions. Or maybe deep down I am simply a masochist.

God I hope not...

But here I am sitting in the doctor's office waiting for him to prep his chainsaw of death. My heart was beating a mile a minute as I watched the shimmering blade glint in the hospital lighting and I held a death grip on the table I now sat on. The paper underneath me crinkled as I shifted and eyed my doctor as he moved about with his assistant as if he were not wielding a chainsaw that will soon be aimed at my arm.

"You okay?"

My head snapped to my right to see Rick sitting calmly in the chair set next to the table I sat at and I felt my fingers itch for me to touch him. To have him close and to reassure me the doctor did not intend to saw off my arm. But most of all I just wanted to feel him.

These past three weeks had been, honestly, sexually frustrating.

Rick was intent on making me as frustrated as he was and I was the only one of the two of us who stopped us each time before things got too... connected...

At first Rick was a little disgruntled about the thought of waiting longer than he already had and as the weeks went on he wasn't afraid to show how 'frustrated' he was.

Plainly speaking he's not the only one feeling the chafe of my self-proclaimed chastity belt. The friction of the imaginary piece of metal has been all but bearable. It's true that in my short life I've never gone all the way with anyone. Of course I've had those small flings in high school that honestly don't mean shit in the real world but... I don't know.

It wasn't like I was saving myself specifically. I think it's just I've never truly felt ready for the 'next step'. I've always felt like if I waited a little longer I would feel more mentally prepared. And it isn't like now I feel pressured into it so I just have to suck it up and 'do' it.

Neither do I condone having sex a few months into knowing someone!

But, the way I see it there's truly nothing standing in the way of us right now. Rick is 25 and I'm 23. So A: we are both full grown, consensual adults. B: this is not a one night stand, this is a LONG term relationship starting out. And C: I'm ready for this.

It might sound cliché, but I am. I have decided to commit to this relationship for the long run and for me when I decide to hold on there's no way I'm ever letting go.

And personally if I told Rick to wait another day I think he might combust...

"No..."

I glanced over at Rick as he smiled and moved his hand to hold mine, intertwining our fingers easily from three weeks of practice. I let out a long sigh as the familiar rough skin of Rick's hand melded perfectly to mine. Over the past three weeks I had grown to love the feel of Rick's hands. One of the best things about his hands is that they never get sweaty!

"Want me to kiss it all better?"

I gave Rick a pointed look as he wiggled his eyebrows for he knew both of us understood what he really meant.

"Or. You could just sit there and look pretty for me."

Rick scoffed and sat back in his seat shaking his head at me. I smiled knowing that Rick's dramatics were, in their own way, distracting me from my nerves. And I think he knew it.

"Alright Avery if you can just keep your arm still for me this will be done quickly."

I flinched at the sound of the doctor's voice and felt a reassuring squeeze from Rick as I held out my casted arm. The nurse helped to hold onto my wrist as the doctor revved up the saw. I flinched away from the harsh humming sound and closed my eyes tight as Rick leaned forward and laid a soft kiss on my white knuckles.

Then it began.

It was an odd sensation.

It felt as if my arm was vibrating and the sensitive skin that had not seen the light of day for almost two months felt numb and plush almost. I never once felt the sting or touch of the saw blade as it moved through the cast. I only opened my eyes when I heard the muffled crack of the cast as the nurse and doctor worked together to open it from around my arm then the nurse helped me pull the arm from cast.

The first sensation in my arm was being cold.

The skin felt puffy and cotton-like as I looked at it. I flinched slightly at the sight of the rigid scar up above the elbow. The stitches had long since absorbed into my skin but the remnants of the surgery remained. As I stared I felt the presence of the hulking form of Rick beside me and turned to find his eyes were on the scar as well. Although where I felt disgust in the sight he seemed to be curious.

"Does it hurt?"

I looked back to the scar and gently probed the numb-like flesh and found that the touch felt odd, almost ticklish but there was no immediate pain; simply a soreness when I lifted and moved the arm about.

"It will feel a bit odd at first but I suggest that you start using it normally now and rebuild its strength. It is healed so you don't have to worry about harming it; I just suggest that maybe you should avoid men with guns for the time being." The doctor smiled and winked as Rick chuckled beside me and heartily agreed.

"Don't worry Doc I'll make sure the arm is put to some good use."

Rick moved his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest as I felt my cheeks warm from the innuendo. But deep down as I felt my newly released arm with my fingers I didn't disagree with Rick's statement.

"I'd like to go home now."

Rick looked down at me and I felt a smile grow on my face as I felt my boldness grow as well, "Our home, that is."

Rick's grin would have made the Cheshire cat envious as he swiftly picked me up from the exam table and took me from the hospital.

***

The soft rustle of clothing. The crackle of wood burning. Muffled pants. The sound of skin upon skin. The fading light seeping through the windows. The heat simmering under the skin. The chill of the cool winter air. The smell of burning wood. The smell of sweat.

We were in Rick's room. It was almost twice the size of my cabin's bedroom with a fireplace put in the corner. Rick had a king sized bed piled with plush, home-made quilted blankets that cushioned our movements and muffled our sounds.

Rick propped himself on top as I lay below enjoying the view he had so graciously given me.

It was the first time I had seen him fully unclothed. His muscles were well-defined with a healthy dusting of brown hair, everywhere. His shoulders were thick and his back taught. His movements were fluid and placed with almost practiced need. As if he had been imagining this moment for months, which probably he had.

He traced his fingers along my ribs and a surprised gasp came from me as the sensitive skin that had been hidden under bandages tingled with the heat of his fingers. His firm lips trailed after his fingers and caused my skin to shiver. My hands automatically tangled themselves in his hair as I found leverage on the plush pillows at the head of the bed.

His fingers paused for a moment as they played with the seam of my boxers and I stared hesitantly down at him. He glanced up and I saw clearly into his warm honey eyes. There were not pleading or demanding, but asking.

I nodded and he turned back to slowly pull the silky cloth down my legs and toss them aside. My cheeks burned as I shut my eyes tight feeling Rick's eyes graze over me, all of me. A harsh gasp was pulled from my sore chest as I felt his hot lips in the hollow of my hips.

"you are beautiful."

My eyes clenched further as he pulled forward and set his lips on the newly released scar on my arm. The surgical scar tingled numbly as his hot breath lingered.

"you are brave."

He moved slowly, purposely, to my chest and set a firm kiss to the jagged, harsh scar on my sternum.

"you are loved."

I opened my eyes to find Rick looking up at me from my chest with a small smile. I ran my fingers through his thick hair and found myself pushing him back and slowly reversing our positions so I sat on top. He seemed a bit confused but did not stop me as I felt the thick muscles of his chest under my fingers as I ignored the embarrassment of us both being naked.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his forehead.

"you are patient."

I pulled back and moved to his lips. I gently ran my tongue along the seam and pressed firmly giving him a lingering kiss.

"you are kind."

When I pulled back I went and gently pulled his hands up off the bed and pulled them together and then proceeded to gently kiss the palms of each.

"you are strong."

As I laid them back on the bed I leaned down and kissed just left of his sternum where a steady beat lay vibrating through his skin and into my lips.

"you are loved."

I gave him a small smile and felt as his hands moved to my hips and gently ran his thumbs along the curves. He smiled as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine whispering against them with a hot puff of air.

"I love you."

His tongue ran along the seam of my lips and I willingly opened for him as we immersed ourselves in the kiss. His strong fingers massaged my hips and thighs as I let my fingers re-tangle in his hair.

The chill of the night cooled the sweat forming on our skin and I shivered as his hands roamed freely about with no restrictions. I flinched slightly when his wandering touch led him down farther than I had ever been touched. He paused and pulled back with a question in his eyes. I answered swiftly as I recaptured his lips grabbing his wrist and gently brought him back to where his questing had led him.

"Are you sure about this?"

His question seemed to echo through the room and I found that unlike what I had thought, the answer came to me easily. There was, of course, hesitation for the unknown but there was also a kind of certainty in knowing that this was my choice.

No one was making me do this. Rick was not pressuring me into this. There was no universal law telling me to mate or die. This was my choice and I knew now more than ever what my choice was going to be.

"I'm ready as long as you are."

This sentence held many different meanings behind it. What we were talking about wasn't just sex anymore.

It was us.

If we were going to do this it meant that we were both in this for the long run. There was no backing out or regrets. Of course we would have our fights and arguments. Long nights of one of us sleeping on the couch. Days of not talking. But also there would be days where we would both stay in bed all day. Nights after a long day of work where we would just talk. The birthdays spent with friends. Christmas's spent with family. The sappy moments of surprise gifts and little kisses.

If we do this our fates are sealed.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Rick smiled and gave me a soft kiss and whispered in my ear, "Always."

the end