The atmosphere in the room was unbearable. The heat I'd felt a few moments ago had died and we were back to being strangers.

Behind Michael's cool veneer was hunger that burned outwards every time we touched. But it was like a volcano, coming out it fits and spurts, the subsiding into quietness.

I hated the quietness the most. I wanted to know what he was thinking. I wanted to crawl inside him and live there. The need was slowly driving me mad.

Was this normal? Or was this a vampire thing? I couldn't tell.

When we were apart, I'd spend hours trying to rationalize my feelings for him. I'd watch the clock, counting the seconds until I would see him again. But, I had never paused to think what he actually did when he was away from me.

Waiting for his answer, my stomach began to twist and turn. I thought he would have dismissed the claim or laughed it off... But with each passing second of silence, it dawned on me that he thinking about how to word his confession rather than his denial.

He saw the look of fear in my eyes and asked, "Is this what you truly want to know?"

"Yes, " I replied.

I was smart enough to know that lies didn't work. I'd experienced with Micah and I wasn't going to waste my time, or myself, on a man who couldn't tell me the truth.

I waited for Michael to speak.

He rubbed his jaw and leaning back in his chair said, "I'm given missions. I don't choose to kill people, but, sometimes there are situations where my job demands it."

"What kind of jobs."

"I can't disclose the nature of my work to you, it's classified."

"So, did you kill anyone tonight, before coming home to me? Or is that classified too?"

Michael thought about his answer for a second and coolly replied, "No, I did not kill anyone."

There was no deception in his voice, but there wasn't any emotion either. It was like talking to a machine.

"So, you kill people for the government. Would you kill me, if the government ordered you to?" I asked.

"No, I could never hurt you, Lorna."

"Is that because of the bond between us?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let's pretend the government has issued an order to kill Magda or Keira - would you do it?"

"Maybe."

"What do you mean 'maybe'?"

"Look, anyone who ends up on a government hit list, must have done something really bad to get on get on that list."

"How do you know?"

"I read their files, Lorna. I don't hurt innocent people. Me and my brothers are sent to hurt really bad people."

An unsettling thought crossed my head.

"If you are set to hurt bad people, why were you inside the hotel on the night I woke up a vampire?"

My question caught him off-guard and he hesitated.

"I was sent there to keep you safe," he explained.

"But I got shot."

"I tried to save you. I tried to get to you before you ran out those doors, I knew the other slayers would be outside waiting for you but you were so fast Lorna. When I caught up with you it was too late."

"But they shot me Michael and I was innocent."

"Lorna, you ran."

"I ran because I was scared. How many scared new vampires have you killed, Michael?"

"No one has ever been killed. I always caught them because I am faster than them. You were the only exception."

"Well, see if you can catch me before I go to Duncan and get you thrown out of the hotel." I yelled.

It was childish and stupid and a threat I could never have carried through but I was so blinded by anger I just splurted out the cruelest and most hurtful word to say to Michael. I bolted towards the door merely bluffing, maybe Michael chasing me gave me a cheap romantic thrill, I don't know. My fingers wrapped around the door handle but Michael was there, his hand gripped my shoulder and spun me round so my back hit the wall.

"Stop it!" He said slamming both his hands against the wall either side of head. I went still afraid of what could happen if I tried to struggle. I looked down but Michael caught my chin and forced me to look into his eyes.

"I can't change who I am or my past which makes me such a monster," He said clinging on to his self control, "Whether you want to admit to yourself or not what I am doesn't really matter to you. All that matters is this."

He kissed me roughly and I tried to pull away but found myself giving in unable to resist him. My fingers laced through his hair, my body pushed against his demanding more and Michael delivered it. His hands moved along the seams of my t-shirt and then dipped underneath the hem to caress my bare skin. Rough fingertips glided over my soft waist moving steadily upwards towards my back, whirling and swirling as they went making my skin painfully sensitive. As his hands wound their way around my back they splayed wide open and I felt his palms push against my spine crushing me against the hardness of his chest. Michael allowed me to take one quick gasp of breath before he kissed me even harded squeezing me against him like a boa constrictor. My fingernails dug into his neck as my body responded to his in the same chaotic violence. The intensenty border on ecstasy, madness, bliss and pain, I never wanted anyone so badly.  Michael tore away from my mouth releasing me from his death grip. Without the  support of his arms I staggered back  feeling a sudden emptiness and longing inside me. Running his finger across my swollen lips he said,

"See, all that matters to you is how I make you feel. No one on this earth will ever make you feel the same way that I do and I don't think you are going to give that not even for your own conscience."

Michael took a few steps back leaving me stone cold. I stood leaning against the wall for support unable to look him in the eye. There was a rough kind of gentle to his touch and savage cruelness to his desire to possess and conquer me. He wanted to punish me for threatening to leave him but he couldn't do it in a civilized way. By the time I had ran to the door I had exhausted all his reserves in civility and politeness.  He had used his physical influence over me as a way of degrading me. Breathlessly I fought back the tears and wiped my mouth as Michael casually walked away as if nothing had happened between us.  I ran into my bedroom cursing him under breathe.

I spent the rest of my evening alone and god did I feel lonely. Michael sat in the room opposite occasionally walking past my door but never daring to enter. I imagined him sat alone holding his gun thinking quietly to himself- I wish I knew what he was thinking.  I needed to know if he actually loved me or was he just using me.  Torn I sat on bed in a state of limbo.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

I thought there was a distinguishable line between love and lust but now I realize that line is hazy and blurred. Physically I wanted Michael but I wanted him emotionally as well. If he did not love me back I think my heart would eventually break and I would die. God this sounded so heavy. I lay back on my bed and picked up the photo of Micah that had been laying on my bed side table.

We were never this complicated, I thought to myself as I looked at the older more mature Micah. I always knew where I stood romantically with Micah. I lay the picture on my pillow and listened for any sound of movement outside. Eventually there was a soft knock on the door and Michael opened the door and took a small step inside the room and stopped.

"Barry called he wants to see me." He remarked quietly.

I nodded.

"I'll be back after you've fallen asleep, so I won't see you until tomorrow."

I nodded.

"Okay, so I'll guess, I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded.

He turned and took a step forward pausing in the door way, his fingers drummed against the door frame for a split second and for a moment I thought he was leaving and gazed down at the floor but then I felt the back of his hand glide down my arm. I looked up and Michael was there. He leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of my head.

"Lorna, I can be whatever you need," He said "I'm only a monster when I'm working, when I'm with you I can be your boyfriend, your husband, your best friend, your lover, whatever you want. It's as easy as that."

He caught my chin and tilted my head up tenderly he brushed his lips against mine and softly instructed me,

"Stay in the apartment. Don't leave. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay." I said.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. Francesca and Magda came back home shortly after Michael left. I think they wanted to do some sort of family bonding time because Magda had gone out and brought a bunch of family board games to play with. Eagerly Francesca got me to pick one of the games to play and we all sat in the lounge for the remainder of the evening having a nice time. Francesca and Magda were really competitive against each other which was really cute and sweet in a way. Francesca would disappear off into the kitchen and Magda would fiddle with her cards.

"Did she touch my cards?" Francesca asked me.

"How dare you try to bring my perfect reputation in to disrepute!" Magda scoffed.

"You've got that look on your face Magdalena Kasmira."

"This is the look of an honest woman." Magda replied.

Francesca didn't believe her. Shaking her beautiful red hair she shrugged,

"I hope you are setting an example for our daughter."

"I am. I'm teaching how to win."

Francesca's eyes narrowed on Magda and she continued to play on.

They were a really cute couple, it's hard to believe that anyone would condemn such a loving relationship. I wondered if my relationship with Michael would ever be that rock steady. Francesca eventually won the game but that was only because Magda let her. When Francesca left the room Magda whispered to me,

"I always let her win otherwise she is sulking for days and I can't bear it."

"How did you two meet?" I asked.

"My darling heart that was a very long time ago," Magda smiled, "We were both so very young and we had such a hard time."

My face saddened, Magda and Francesca fell in love at a time when homosexuality was consider wrong. Their covens threw them out and they lived in exile for many years scraping an existence unable to provide for themselves. Duncan was Francesca's brother and he had invited the couple back into the coven, but sadly for Magda she was still shunned by her own coven.

"It sucks." I said quietly.

"That it does my dear. I would so love to show you Mama's winter castle that father built for her. She was the most beautiful vampire in all Siberia- I never met her though. She was dead when I rose as a vampire. My father built a castle in memorial of her loveliness then sat up to watch the sun on the day it was completed."

"So you never met your father either?"

"Castles take decades even centuries to build, so I knew my father very well. He was a lonely man after the passing of my mother and eventually choose to follow her in death."

"What happened then?"

"I stayed with my coven under the watchful eye of my Grandfather who was head of the coven. His daughter was my mother and his only child. I was my mother's only child and you Lorna are my only child."

"What was he like?"

"He was very handsome. Stunning blue eyes like the rest of us, and he was only twenty when he was turned into a vampire so very youthful. But his temper was like an ice storm. None of us dared to defy him except me. I met Francesca at a ball in St. Petersburg before the revolution and we knew instantly that we were mates and I ran way with her. It broke my grandfather's heart but I thought he would eventually come around. He never did."

"Have you ever tried to contact him?"

"Occasionally but he always refuses my attempts at communication. Maybe one day the hate in his heart will leave him." Magda said sadly.

I put my arms around her and gave her a hug,

"You're the best vampire mom in the world." I said.