"Just take a seat, I have to check on dinner." Josh told Tyler, making his way to the kitchen. Tyler didn't listen though, and followed him. He hopped on the counter, sitting next to where Josh was preparing a salad.

"I think I have to apologize", Josh started suddenly.
"What? Why?" Tyler frowned, dark eyes focussing on Josh's.
Josh sighed, shrugging awkwardly. "I'm not sure. But if you really think I invited you out of pity, then apparently I, or we, did something very wrong because that is absolutely not true."
He looked at Tyler, who's cheeks had turned a soft pink.
"Well it was that, or sex", Tyler mumbled. "Right?" His eyes were questioning.

Josh bluntly stopped cutting the peaches for the salad. "Damn, I made you believe that?" He shook his head. "Shit, I understand it must've seemed like that. I'm such an idiot."

Tyler seemed to think for a second, unable to respond before Josh started talking again. "I'm sorry, okay? I really am. It wasn't meant to be like that, and I definitely didnt want to make you feel bad." He sighed as he continued cutting.
"First time was. Can't really deny that, you know what it was and what happened. But second time wasn't planned, or intended. I swear. I just wanted to hang out, go out and have fun and I invited you to make a friend."
He glanced at Tyler, who watched him carefully. "I just didnt think about how... I dont know... used? you must've felt."

Tyler slid of the counter. "So you invited me over today, purely as... a friend?"
"Yeah."
"Not for sex?"
"No!"
"And Brendon isn't here?"
"He's away for work."
"And he's okay with me being here?"
"He suggested it."

Tyler wanted to ask more, but waited as Josh had finished the salad and put it on the diningtable. He then finished the chicken and brought it, together with the vegetables to the table to. He smiled as they sat down.
"I hope it all tastes good. Normally Brendon does most of the cooking, he's a lot better at it."

"I'm sorry too, Josh", Tyler continued as they had a few bites. "Also, this tastes great." He smiled softly, making Josh smile too. "I'm not used to people having any other interest in me than... well, sex, I guess." Josh frowned, looking up to him to encourage him to keep talking. "So... I don't know, I only made it worse in my mind and I was sure all you two wanted from me was another body to fuck into." His voice got more silent near the end if the sentence.

Josh nearly choked on the bite of chicken he just took, coughing before quickly grabbing his glass of water. "Well, we don't. I don't." Tyler laughed softly, observing Josh's reddened face, possibly from coughing, possibly blushing. "I see."

"Real reason is that now Brendon is gone for a few days I realized what a baby I am and I suck at being alone." Josh told while continuing dinner. "And that since we moved here I barely speak with my 'old' friends and I have absolutely zero friends here. Without Brendon I have nothing."

Tyler nodded. "You can't be alone for 4 days?" He chuckled softly, making Josh blush. "Yeah, no. It is stupid. I know. Ive just... never been alone in my life, walls close in on me when i'm alone. Don't you ever get that?"

"I do", Tyler mumbled. He did. A lot. His appartment would swallow him whole, but he was used to it by now. "But i'm used to it. Being alone. Eventually it get's normal."

"But it is like... you choose to be?" Josh tried, carefully. Tyler snorted softly. "Better alone than bad company", he mumbled. He knew it was an inviting answer, easy for the other to ask questions he was reluctant to answer.

"So you've never been alone? Like, what kind of life did you come from?" Tyler asked before Josh could respond to him.

Josh shook his head. "I grew up with my parents and a brother, until they kicked me out." Tyler stared at him intensely. "Why?"
"Because my dad caught me making out with Brendon. It was just a few weeks before my 20th birthday, almost graduated. My plan was to get my own place after I finished school, to get away from my family. But they beat me to it. So I pretty much moved in with Brendon right away."
"They kicked you out because of kissing someone, while you were 19?"
Josh sort of nodded. "Well, not just someone. A guy. My parents are huge homophobes, like into the extremes." For a second he doubted telling more, but be figured there was no reason not to tell.

"I don't know if you ever heard about the kind of camps where they supposedly cure you from being gay? But actually they just brainwash and torture you till you lie and lie and lie and convince them you're cured? Yeah, well my parents own one of those. The biggest in the whole state. So when they found out I was gay, or well at least into guys, I was gone. Dead.
They threw my stuff on the street, changed the locks, stopped paying my school, sending death-threats and eventually burning down our cars and nearly our apartment."

Tyler's jaw dropped. They had finished eating by now and Josh made them some coffee. "So at that point Brendon was pretty done with my family, and so was I, and then we moved here. To get away from them. So far, it worked. Still worried they might find us again sometimes."
Tyler hummed. "That's terrible.... All of that, just because you dated a guy?"
"Yeah."
"Man, that's rough. I can see why you'd want to move far away from that. I never even realized those places actually existed."
"Unfortunately they do, and they're probably just as terrible as you think, or worse. It was just sad to leave Brendon's parents and some friends.. and my brother y'know."

Tyler took a sip of his coffee, hands clamped around the warm mug as they moved to the livingroom and sat down on the couch.

"So how did you end up here?"

There it was. The question. Tyler sighed, eyesbrows furrowed together as he thought about his answer. But for some strange reason he felt quite comfortable. And the fact that he possibly was with someone who had a serious interest in his existence was comforting. But he tried desperately to not get used to that feeling and pushed it away just as quick. But, since Josh had been very open about his story, he would try to be honest too. It been a while he had really talked to anyone. It had been forever.

"Me?" He let go of a puff of air, then taking another sip of coffee. "Long story."
Josh shrugged, smiling softly. "I got all night."

"Okay. So, my parents died when I was 15, and I lived with my aunt for a while after that. But she couldn't, or wouldnt, pay for my school so I dropped out." He shifted uncomfortably. "That and the fact that her asshole-boyfriend couldn't keep his hands off of me made me pretty much prefer the streets for quite a while. One day I just grabbed a bag and most of my clothes and some other stuff and I left."

Tyler pulled up his legs, mug on the coffeetable and arms now wrapped around his legs.

"I slept in shelters, under bridges, sometimes with people that I called friends back then, for about a year and a half." He shrugged. "I purely survived because I was just a kid and even the homeless felt sorry for me, and usually would give me food and shelter." He played with his fingers nervously, before looking at Josh. The latter was watching him carefully, eyes full of concern. "My god", was the only thing he mumbled, he had no words.

"When  I was 17, I met this guy, who was just a friend at first, but soon started to help me out. He bought me food, let me sleep over, bought me new shoes, a coat for winter. He made me feel... better."
He rolled his eyes.
"Until I officially moved in with him and he started to make me 'pay him back' for everything he did for me. He saved me from the streets, saved my life and I owed him and he made me believe it. So I did everything he said."
He shook his head, tapping his fingers on his own knees nervously.
"I really did everything he wanted. Clean. Cook. Steal. Fuck him whenever, wherever. Or fuck his 'friends', who were simply drugsdealers and I was payment."
He swallowed thickly.
"I was just a kid and I did everything he told me to, and all I got back was alcohol, drugs and abuse. I thought he loved me and it only made sense I had to pay him back for getting me off the streets."

Josh was speechless. How had he ever thought he had a rough life? He had gone through absolutely nothing hearing Tylers story. He had to swallow a lump in his throat when Tyler continued.

"So that situation went on for a few years I guess, I had absolutely no selfworth, and I just accepted everything he did. So I ended up addicted to whatever junk he made me take, starting with marihuana. I don't even know, probably GHB, acid and finally cocaine."

Josh couldn't hear much more, absolute shocked with what Tyler just told him. He just suddenly launched forward wrapping his arms around the boy and pulling him in for a very strange hug. Tylers hands and legs were captured in the embrace so he had no way to hug back or whatever, but he just let it happen. "I'm so sorry for all that", Josh mumbled, aware of the awkwardness and he let go bashfully. "That is horrible." Tyler smiled softly and shrugged.

"It all stopped for a while when he got arrested for drug distibution, and I was back on the street. Only now I was addicted to the stuff. So, i'm not sure how, but I survived a few months on the streets again until he got released. He found me within a day, and nearly beat me to death because I didnt get him out of prison."

Tyler sighed deeply. "I woke up in a hospital, and he was sitting next to my bed, holding my hand, crying, saying he loved me. One big show, just to convince me to come back to him. And I did, because I believed him. So the whole thing just kept going."

"How'd you get out?" Josh nearly whispered.

"One night he was drinking, playing around until he got out a gun. I don't know where he got it, but he kept aiming at me, threatening to kill me if I didn't listen to him. I was in desperate need of a load of coke and I practically begged him to either give me drugs or just kill me."

He rolled his eyes again. "Obviously he didnt kill me, but the drunk asshole did shoot me in my arm. Neighbours called the police, took us both away. Him back to prison, me back to the hospital. There they pretty much noticed the horrible physical and mental state I was in so they forced me into a rehab-facility. And I still dont know how he did it, but he got out after only a few weeks, and he showed up at the facility with a gun again, screaming to let him in so he could kill me. People didnt really appreciate it", Tyler chuckled and seemed to shake his head in disbelieve, "so they called the cops, he shot a couple of times at the door, didnt hit anyone thank god. So they locked him up again, and transfered me from LA to Columbus."

Tyler finally looked back up and found Josh's eyes. "After a few months I got out, found a shitty apartment here and a shitty job. And here we are now. Messed up 23 year old, living the good life", he laughed, not knowing what to do with the lack of repsonse from Josh.

"I have absolutely no idea what to even say. I'm so happy you got away from there, my god. You would've ended up dead." Tyler nodded. "Definitely."
"Holy fuck. And I thought I got away from a bad environment. That was peanuts."
"Don't say that. You can't compare."

"There's like two million more things I would want to ask right now, but let's not right now. You're probably done with this shit."
Tyler nodded again. "Please. It's actually the first time I told this whole story to anyone, other than the therapists." He chuckled again. Josh already loved his chuckles, and the way his eyes shimmered like a little kid when he did so. He was actually glad he could see those tiny sparks after what he just heard.

"My throat is dry", Tyler hinted, winking.
"Right! Drinks! Redbull? Coke? Water?"
"Redbull! MY FAVORITE!" He cheered, hands balled up in fists above his head. Josh laughed. "Well, that makes two of you. Brendon has like a year-supply of the stuff in the fridge."
"Man of my dreams", Tyler said dreamy, obviously joking and both laughed.

"Movie?"
"Sure. Whatcha got?" Tyler got comfy on the couch.
"Anything."
"Harry Potter?" The brunette grinned.
Josh rolled his eyes playfully, shaking his head. "Harry Potter. Sure."