"So we'll see you tonight then?" Josh asked absentmindedly, his phone propped up against the side of his laptop he was working on. He just assumed Tyler would come over, fridaynights were almost a tradition now for the three of them. And since Jordan hung out at Molly's now more often than not, he expected Jordan to be out anyway.

"Uhm, well, actually..." Tyler started, and Josh looked up from his laptop to his phone screen to see Tyler smile apologetically.
"I kind of have a date tonight." The younger continued.

No, no, no, no, no! Josh's heart started beating like crazy, a heat creeping up his face, this wasn't supposed to happen! With wide eyes he focused on the phonescreen.

"I know thats hard to believe", Tyler chuckled as Josh failed to answer.

"What? No! No-no, thats not it!" Josh shook his head. Get yourself together Josh.
"S-so who's the lucky one?" He tried casually.

Tyler narrowed his eyes, smile faded as he examined Josh's face on the screen. "Some guy from work.."

"You like him?"
Tyler shrugged. "I'm not sure, but guess we'll find out tonight... I'll probably mess up anyway."
Josh forced a smile. "Don't say that. Just make sure he tries his best... and let us know if you need a reason to get out." He shrugged. "I mean, like, we'll come rescue you."

Tyler didnt smile, his gaze burning even through the screen as he nodded. "I'll talk to you later then."

Josh nodded. "Yeah."

"Bye Josh, tell Brendon I said hi."

—

Dammit. Dammit! Josh rubbed his face with his hands, groaning internally. He had absolutely no right to be this upset by Tyler going on a date. Absolutely none. But... he wanted to take him on a date. Or, well, them.

What if he missed his shot? Was he too late? What if Tyler actually really liked this guy? What if.. that guy stole Tyler from them?

He just closed his laptop way too hard, banging his forehead on top of it a few times. Just then, Brendon walked in, stopping in his tracks as he noticed Josh.

"Uhm, are you okay babe?"

It startled Josh, quickly sitting up. "Oh. Eh. Yeah. Just frustrated by some suppliers for the event", he lied. "It's fine."

It wasn't fine. At all. He felt like the chance of 'having' Tyler slipped through his fingers, even though he didnt know if there even was a chance for him. Them. He hadn't even brought it up with Brendon again. The whole situation with Jordan had pushed it away, he kept using it as an excuse to not have to talk about it. But it had been two months and now there was this possibility that his chance was gone before it even existed. Yeah, he really needed to talk to Brendon about this. Damn.

——

"Tyler's late", Brendon mumbled as he started preparations for dinner. "Oh! Yeah, forgot to tell you. Uhm, he's not coming tonight."
"What? Why not?"
"He's on a date..."
Brendon frowned, and Josh watched as a tiny hint of color crept up the olders face. "What? With who?"

"Some guy from his work he said."
Josh was intrigued by Brendon's reaction to the news, he wasn't sure what to think of it, but it gave that tiny bit of a boost of confidence because maybe, just maybe, Brendon seemed a little confused as well.

"Oh." Brendon mumbled, a slight disappointed tone of voice. Or Josh just imagined that. He thought Brendon honestly seemed phazed by the anouncement.

It was silent after that, Josh getting plates and cutlery as Brendon fixed a simple dinner. He took a few breaths, considering his next move. Maybe.. maybe this was the moment to start the whole thing again.

"I don't like it", Josh suddenly spoke, breaking through his own trail of thought.

"Don't like what?"

Josh shrugged, trying to keep a light mood but failing miserably as he was so tensed already.
"Him going on a date? I guess..." the younger mumbled, hardly audible.

Again, silence fell, nearly killing Josh as his heart raced with 500mph. It took him at least a minute before he was brave enough to look up to Brendon.

To his surprise, not yet relief but definitely surprise, Brendon had a sympathetic smile formed on his lips. When the older noticed Josh was looking at him, he turned to face his boyfriend.

"I know."

Josh wasn't sure whether to run, hide, laugh, cry, be happy or be scared.

"W-what?"

Brendon smiled, gently grabbing Josh's lower arm and pulled him in for a hug.

"I know. You want to be the one to take him on a date. Or us. Or we." Brendon spoke softly, the words attempting to make its way to Josh's brain.

"Y-you knew?" Josh whispered, trembling with nerves.

Brendon released Josh from his embrace, not letting go of his hand to Josh's relief. "Lets talk over dinner", Brendon nodded, smiling softly.

——

They sat down, and as silence settled again, Josh was completely unable to eat. He was way, way too nervous. He kept shuffeling the food on his plate as this silence took way too long for his liking.
"Bren, will please talk or say something, i'm freaking out. Y-you know?"

"I've been waiting for you to tell me, to be honest. I wasn't wrong, was I? About you. Tyler. Me."

Josh sighed as he dropped his knife. "I hate this", he mumbled.

"I know. But I want you to tell me, okay?" Brendon started. "Hey, look at me... It's okay, just be honest, i'm not angry or whatever."

Josh tried to find the right words to say. He had practiced this over and over, replaying scenario after scenario and now it was his time to actually talk he was lost for words. He took a deep breath before talking.

"I really didnt want it, Bren. And I tried to ignore it and I did. Until now."

Josh bashfully looked up.

"I wanted to talk to you about it before, but I never got to. And then, I don't know, I was scared to."

"Babe, you keep saying 'it'... didnt want it. Ignore it... what?" Brendon questioned, his tone soft. And Josh knew he only wanted him to say it out loud, confess it, awknowledge it. Another sigh.

"I like Tyler, Bren. Like... I really like him a whole lot. And I've been thinking about this constantly. And I have no idea what to do with it. I dont love you any less, probably even more, but I cant help but think about what it would be like with Tyler too. And not just for me, no, for you too. I dont want Tyler to be with me, I think I want him to be with us. And I want him to want to be with us too. I think."

He nervously tapped his knife onto the plate. "But i'm confused, and scared. I dont want you to think any different of me, I dont want anything we have now to get any less, but I can not stop thinking about it."

Josh sighed again.
"And it sucks because i dont even know what you think, i dont know what Tyler thinks and i dont even know what i think! I have no idea what I want."

Brendon gently reached for Josh's hands over the table. Brendon's were gentle, calm, in contrast with Josh's clammy and trembling ones.

"Well, I think Tyler telling you he's on a date with someone has pretty much made clear what you want?"

"I guess", Josh mumbled. "But I don't want to like him if you don't, I may only want it as us."

Brendon chuckled softly. "I never said I didnt like him."

"W-wait, what?"

Brendon shrugged as he kept stroking the backs of Josh's hands with his thumbs. "I may not be in as far as you are, or yet, but i like him too Josh. And mostly, I like you two together. It makes my heart fucking melt, babe."

"Are you serious? Dont mess with me now, Bren, I-."

"I'm not messing around. I like him."

"Just like? Or like-like?"

Brendon chuckled again.
"All I know is that I really like him, he intruiges me. Maybe I'm not head-over-heals, like you-."

"Am not!", Josh interrupted but Brendon just laughed.

"Oh come on. You fell for him, and you know it. You just never accepted it."

Brendon sighed softly, rolling his eyes for whatever reason. "And I would be lying if I said I never thought about it. Y'know... us three. To be honest, it sounds fucking comfortable."

Josh nodded. "It does."

They both fell silent for a bit.

"I love you."

Brendon smiled. "I know, and I love you too."

"So now what?"

"I dont know... I dont know. I mean... we have to some thinking to do first for ourselfs. Do we actually want to act upon it? And if we do... consider the fact Tyler is not in for it or doesn't feel the same at all. A hook-up is one thing, a whole damn relationship is something else."

Josh narrowed his eyes, a little smile creeping on his lips. "But you'd consider it?"
Brendon just sighed and nodded, shrugging right after. "I don't know yet, love. Maybe."

Josh could stare at Brendon forever, his heart nearly bursting with love for this man. How did he ever deserve the most open-minded, honest and supportive man on the planet to be his?

"We're a mess", Josh sighed before he chuckled softly, shaking his head. He couldn't believe this happened.

——

"Did you ever just want to kiss him?" Brendon asked suddenly. Dinner was long finished and they were hanging on the couch watching a movie. Without Tyler, unfortunately.

Josh immediatly blushed, his cheeks uncomfortably warm. "Well.. yeah."

"I did too." Brendon confessed. "But mostly, Ive been thinking about you two."

Josh blushed more, but was curious.

"I thought about how nice it would be to come home after a workday, and then walk into you and him cuddled up on the couch, waiting." Brendon linked their hands together.

"I thought about me and Tyler making you goddamn brownies in the middle of the night because of your stupid 3am sweet tooth. I thought about us making out. In front of him. I thought about me kissing him right in front of you. I think about you kissing him in front of me the most. I-."

Brendon stopped as he heard Josh chuckle.
"What?!"

"Totally not in as far as I am, Bren. Totally not." He squeezed Brendon's hand and smiled.