I'm a dirty liar. Said this would take closer to 72 hours. Hasn't even been 24, lol. Maybe I should keep saying that it'll take me longer for reverse psychology on myself. Uwu.

Anyway.

Time for the twelfth set of results! Woo-hoo!

Congratulations to the first place prize and runner-up, and also to everyone for participating and doing amazing!

Remember one contest doesn't define who you are as an artist. Along with that, many people who don't place in one category go on to win in others. Contests are meant to bring people together, and that includes bringing you into yourself and feeling just how hard you've worked and how far you've come. So, truly, thank you for participating, and I hope you know everyone here wants to support you!

When it comes to my suggestions, remember these awards are for fun, so take everything with a healthy grain of salt and only use what works for you. If you disagree with something I say, that's absolutely fine, though please stay respectful and remember to disregard anything that you don't think will work for you or you disagree with. Any arguments or insults will be deleted, though questions are, of course, welcome, but please give me some time to reply to them. Also, remember this is just one person's opinion out of eight billion people on the planet, so please do not be discouraged.

In other words, this is all opinion and meant to help. I care about your work and you, hence why I spend so long on these reviews and can over-explain. I understand disagreements because that's at the core of what art is: discussion; however, being overly defensive or trying to lecture me about your story is more likely than not not going to change my opinion. Please be kind in the comments and, as always, only take what works for you and disregard the rest.

With all that said, let's move into the runner-up and first place winners!

Categories being judged: Best Historical/Nonfiction, and Best Original and Best Fanfic are being done in the background as well.

1st Place

Hopheadicide by SojourningGhosts

Review:

Creativity: 8.5/10. The creativity of this piece is good! I really like the main character, Wylie, and his story. He has a sympathetic story, and the plot is going to be a blast, I can tell. We only just got to the great toaster incident, but it was well-written, and I'm excited to see where it goes from here!

I also think the character backstories are really good so far. Wylie's prologue was strong and showed his sense of innocence and empathy, particularly for animals, right off the bat, giving us solid character motivation for him to not want to hurt anyone or anything. Annie is also very fascinating. She has an unfortunately common story about stars: falling into substances and losing themselves and their careers. I think her reaction to Wylie saying no to drugs (good for him) was heartbreaking but also terrifyingly realistic. In that moment, she became like his father, and it broke him.

Oh, and then right after, we see poor Wylie seeing a bird die. A bird that "died alone," according to him. Little does the bird know, it wasn't alone. It had Wylie. Still extremely sad nonetheless. This story does a great job with the angst. It's sadly humorous in some ways, like Wylie completely failing to commit, but emphasis on the sadly. It's sad humor, and you balance that tone quite well.

The story has such a cool concept, and I'm excited to see where the second dimension plot leads! I'm also super excited to see more of Wylie's development, and I hope the best for the poor guy.

Suggestion-wise, I don't have much, as you can probably tell based on the high score. Like I think in the last review I gave, there could be some downsizing on the similes and metaphors, as there were a lot throughout the piece, and the more that are used, the less effective they can become. So, for future installments, I recommend considering downsizing so the ones that are there pack more of a punch.

Overall, though, the story is good and has strong creativity. The characters and their backstories were both fascinating and immediately got me attached to them. This section deserves a good score!

Timelessness: 8.5/10. This section refers to the memorability and emotional takeaway of the piece, and here, I'd say it's good! I really, really enjoyed this. This might be my favorite by you so far. I actually don't think I can glaze this story enough. Even though we've just started, I'm already so emotionally invested in Wylie's story, and I'm even emotionally invested in Annie despite her very apparent flaws. Their conversation is awesome to read, and it's packed with so much meaning and a true insight to what drug addiction actually looks like.

What I love most is Wylie's internal battle. Him saying no to drugs is far from easy. It's a whole battle inside him both mentally and physically. It's almost like his thoughts are so powerful that it's impacting his body, and that scene implements elements of body feeling with his mental state, which I thought was great.

So, generally, I think this story is emotional and has potential to continue being that. It's sad in a good way, and I think the themes you're exploring are great and will grow into something even stronger.

Suggestion-wise, I don't have much. Since this is the accumulation section, this score basically reflects the overall score, and I think it deserves a good one. The only suggestions I have either have already been said or will be said later in the flow section. The metaphors could be downsized on, and there could be some tweaks to flow to give the sentences more fluidity and clarity. Overall, though, this is a very emotional and memorable story, and we're only just starting it, so I'm stoked to see what's next.

Structure: 9/10. The structure of this story is very good. The prologue is actually a prologue. While it features the main character, it takes place in the past and provides backdrop info for what's to come, therefore making it a proper prologue, so good job! The chapters are also not too long and not too short. Sometimes 10 minute chapters can start to feel long, but this one felt like a breeze to read since I was so interested.

The general grammar is also good. There are minimal spelling errors and good general word choice and grammar. The language is very balanced, with there being more advanced vocabulary throughout, but it's not over-the-top or ever risking entering purple prose territory. Yet, it's still mature and has good vibes for a literary piece.

And, also, as a side note, I realize I've known you for quite a while, and I've seen so much of your writing. As your long-time friend and also as a reviewer, I just wanted to commend you for how far you've come. You've always had a gift for writing, but this is truly the start of something great. This story has a lot of potential to go somewhere amazing. More amazing than it already is, of course. The characters are oozing with amazing ideas, same with the plot and themes, and I can't wait to see more from this!

Suggestion-wise, I don't have much, as you can probably tell by the near-perfect score. I only have some critiques regarding the commas, as there were frequent punctuation errors that impact the structure of the sentences; however, I'm not letting something like that stop this from getting a near-perfect score, as this section earned it.

Overall, the structure is great throughout the story. The pacing is good, the paragraphs are well-structured, and the language is balanced, making for a smooth read!

Flow: 7.5/10. The flow throughout the piece is pretty good, with there being many memorable lines throughout worth highlighting. I'll leave some below!

"Wylie's expression was stuck in a twist of sorrow still...". I really liked the wording of "stuck in a twist of sorrow." That rolled off the tongue nicely!

"His palms collided with a dark, cold puddle that splashed up his arms." I really like the way the environment comes into play here, and, for some reason, including the "cold" here made me feel it vividly. It's a relatively simplistic line, yet it stood out to me because of how it grounded (haha, literally... I'm so sorry, Wylie, that was a bad joke-) the reader in the scene.

I also liked the line almost right after it: "Withered flowers floated across it lazily, beside a sparse collection of geese." The "withered" flowers was what got me, same with the way "Withered flowers floated" rolls off the tongue. And the geese, of course. Who doesn't like geese?

I also liked this line: "Annabelle Irvine, his shooting starlet." Shooting starlet rolls off the tongue well and is also adorable, not to mention it sets up Wylie's feelings about her immediately. Speaking of Annie, all of Annie's lines were good, and I enjoyed how their conversation flowed.

So, generally, the flow is good, with there being many great lines throughout that were hooking and kept me wanting to read. Good job!

Suggestion-wise, there are frequent punctuation errors throughout, and I'll discuss them soon. To start, though, sometimes (only sometimes) dialogue tags are formatted incorrectly. Not the standard ones, but sometimes the ones that come after ? or ! are done incorrectly. I'll provide two examples below:

"Can I try to touch it?" He murmured (prologue).

"No, wait!" He begged (prologue).

Consider:

"Can I try to touch it?" he murmured. And: "No, wait!" he begged.

When using tags after the dialogue, the tag is always lowercase unless the tag is a proper noun. But, otherwise, the tags are lowercase, even when the dialogue ends with ? or !.

Now, let's move into the punctuation errors. The most common error is commas in compound predicate sentence types. The simplest way to explain compound predicates is they're sentences where one subject is doing two actions. That's the bare bones of it. An example would be this:

He repeated what he knew about the kickback, and aiming (prologue).

That's a compound predicate. The reason is because the "he" is the subject, starting with "he knew" in this case. The "he" is repeating both the kickback and aiming, so it would become: He repeated what he knew about the kickback and aiming.

Another example from prologue: All he could do was watch, and admire the great stillness before him. The "he" is doing both the watching and admiring, so no comma is needed. It'd become: All he could do was watch and admire the great stillness before him. I hope that makes sense!

There are other punctuation errors throughout, so I'll leave them below:

He wanted to feel less, he had always wanted to (chapter 1). Since this is two independent clauses, I recommend a semicolon. Consider: He wanted to feel less; he had always wanted to.

Chap 1: His taut shoulder lightened and his clumsy feet froze beneath him. Here, a comma could be added. Consider: His taut shoulder lightened, and his clumsy feet froze beneath him.

One last thing is there are occasional spelling errors throughout, like "A lightbulb flashed in the blazing light over his head, when he remember he had a toaster," (remember ---> remembered), or the double usage of "make make" another commenter pointed out. These were minor and not frequent, so they're not a big deal, but they're still worth mentioning.

Overall, the flow is pretty good throughout the story, with the technical writing being pretty good and the sentences often having interesting phrases/language that make us care deeply about the main character. There were frequent punctuation errors, though I still think this section deserves a good score.

Title/blurb/cover: 9/10. The title is Hopheadicide, and man, let me tell you, I giggled like a little baby trying to pronounce that (I mean that in a good way, I swear). I'm not sure what the word means, and I couldn't find any definitions anywhere, but, honestly? I don't feel like I need to know what it means. It's a bit whacky, it's eye-catching, and it made me giggle while trying to pronounce it. it's a title that tries something different, and seeing as this genre is quite literally all about experimentation, I think that's a good thing, so I think the title is good!

*Note from future Raven: I do this section first, so I hadn't read the story yet. An hour after reading the story, while I'm writing this review, my dumb dumb self finally realized... oohhhhh, Hopheadicide... it's because he's hopping heads after trying to commit... ohhhhhhhh. Look, I never claimed to be the smartest, okay? But, hey, now that I pieced it together, I like the title even more. It's very, very clever and fits into the story perfectly.

As for the blurb, it's interesting. I really like the opening of "Wylie Goodwin was a perfectly normal addict." It's hooking and instantly caught my attention. The blurb, generally, gives a rundown of what the story is going to be about and who the main character is. So, for those reasons, I like it! I only have some grammar suggestions.

Grammatically, consider:

Wylie Goodwin was a perfectly normal addict. He was haunted and lost without a compass to guide him through the world's suffering. So, he ingested whatever happiness he could find, wherever he could find it. His heart was too soft to endure all the suffering he saw, but he was never strong enough to do something about it. He never wanted to waste his life on booze and pills, and he tried hard to recover. Many times. However, he could never quite get it to stick—that was, until he had no other option.

In a million years, he would have never thought that a toaster and a bathtub were all it took to travel to a second dimension. He was proven wrong for the millionth time in his forty-six years.

I removed the comma after haunted, tweaked it to "took to travel to" instead of "took travel to," and I removed the final comma. I also changed the hyphen to an em dash, but that doesn't factor into the score since that's not your fault. Wattpad changes em dashes to hyphens in blurbs; however, there is a neat symbol that looks identical to an em dash that actually does show up in blurbs! It's this symbol: ―. Yep, identical. If you're interested, you can copy and paste it from my book's, Bound and Roses and Chains, blurb since it's in there.

Overall, the blurb is good, and the grammar is also good, it just needed minor tweaks!

As for the cover... Oh. My. Goodness. That is such a nice cover. I love the color scheme and the wood as the borders. The antlers were a nice touch, and the font is great. The way your name is curved is *chef's kiss*, too. It's simplistic but stylistic, and it caught my eye. For those reasons, I have no critiques of the cover!

Total: 42.5/50.

Runner-Up

The Eagle's Flight by Hella2025

Review:

Creativity: 8/10. Creativity is pretty subjective, but if you ask me, the creativity of this piece is great, with it being an imaginative retelling of a Greek myth. That on its own is creative enough, but I like how in the longer version you added interesting new dynamics to it, like an aftermath chapter to show Aethon's fate, and then Zeus' perspective on it (and, by extension, some worldbuilding about how the world is doing after all of the events of the first chapter).

The language is pretty fun, too, with it being colorful and featuring engaging sentences and paragraphs. There were minimal errors, which I'll talk about later in the flow section, so that made it so when you were being creative with the sentences, it was fluid and easy to engage with. And you did experiment with the sentences. Every one felt fresh, and I don't think I noticed any words or phrases or sentence types you were repeating too often, making it a new experience every time.

Suggestion-wise, I don't have too much. The only thing that could potentially flesh out the creativity more is the majority of the story is summary over scene, which I'm actually okay with, even though it's something I typically advise against (it feels like it fits what this story is going for), but as a result, the beginning portion of the story does have a lot of exposition and summary that may benefit from being trimmed. Scenes are typically more engaging, so too much summary can risk losing attention. Though, generally, it's still a creative story that really hooked me during the second half of it, but that doesn't mean the beginning didn't have engaging moments that hooked me, too. I all in all enjoyed the story.

Timelessness: 8.5/10. This section refers to the memorability and emotional takeaway this story has, and I'd say it's pretty dang memorable and has great moments throughout.

I have one point I really want to talk about, but I'll save it for last, and you'll see why when I give a warning right before it, lol. Anywho, getting into the story, I'd say it takes a great idea and portrays it in an interesting way. I have seen many retellings and specifically Greek retellings (and my English degree kind of required reading more Greek myths and subsequent material than I can count...), but I have never seen anyone tell Aethon's story. I can't even recall Aethon despite the mountains of studying I used to do, so that's how you know this idea is unique and original.

But that's what makes it so memorable. I may not have remembered Aethon before, but I sure as heck do now, and that's a major part of this category. Also, it's quite emotional since Aethon's perspective really puts things into... well, perspective, and the way Prometheus treats him even after the torture is heartbreaking, but in the best way possible. It was unexpected yet so beautiful at the same time, and it was a brief but powerful scene.

To talk more about emotional impact, though, I have to talk about that moment from the second chapter. Before I get into it, all of my reviews have spoilers, but since I will be talking about something very integral to the plot, I want to issue an additional spoiler warning for anyone who is not the author. Please go read this piece prior to reading this section, or simply skip to the next section, where I no longer talk about the big spoiler.

...

Okay, let's get into it.

There was a phenomenal twist in the story where Kim was the one who bit off his wing. And something I appreciated even more about the twist is that it made sense, was built up to properly, and the reader figured it out even though we didn't want it to be true in the paragraph right before the line "Kim had done this." Any reader who was paying attention will recognize the descriptions and slowly but surely piece it together the more we read the paragraph before the line. Before we even get to the "chimera" line (which immediately incriminates Kim without even saying her name), we can tell who it is, and it's just this sinking feeling of dread.

Honestly, this is one of the best twists I've read in a Wattpad story. It actually got me to audibly gasp and say, "No way." I've read good twists, but even those don't normally get me to gasp and say "No way" out loud. This was a great twist that I think will stick with the reader, and it's one of the reasons this is so impactful!

Okay, now we can move away from the spoiler.

...

Suggestion-wise, I don't have much, as you can probably tell based on the high score. Since this is like an accumulation section, I don't have much I haven't already said or will say in the future. The only thing is the Zeus chapter may benefit from toning down the language just a tad. The diary got a tad over-the-top for me, and I understand that's his personality, though it was masterfully alluded to and shown in the first two chapters, so the third coming so strong right out of the gate felt like it could have potentially been toned down, at least for me. I also have some suggestions regarding some flow things, and also the things I mentioned before about potentially trimming some of the summary, but those were either already said or will be said.

Overall, this section deserves a high score. It is emotional and memorable, and the second chapter in particular is phenomenal. I only had minor suggestions but otherwise thought this was a greatly impactful read.

Structure: 8.5/10. When it comes to the structure, it's good! The second chapter in particular is formatted very well and begins and ends where it needs to. The pacing is pretty good aside from what I mentioned earlier with the summarizing, so the story structure is done well, too. The second half of the first chapter is also particularly done well, and Zeus' diary was a nice bonus that didn't overstay its welcome yet still stuck around long enough to make me interested in the worldbuilding.

The sentences are structured well, too, with them having primarily good flow except for the occasional comma error, but not too many, so I'll go over my minimal suggestions in the next section since it fits more in there. But, generally, the sentences are structured well and roll off the tongue equally well.

Suggestion-wise, I don't have much. The only thing, other than suggestions regarding commas, is sometimes the paragraphs had a tendency to be a little too lengthy, mostly toward the end of chapter 1. For example, the paragraph during the fight that starts with "Hercules charged at me..." can be split. The problem isn't the paragraph being long since there's nothing inherently wrong with that, though the issue is there is more than one main idea within the paragraph. It can be split in multiple areas, most notably the sentence starting with "I was just about to retreat...". I hope that makes sense!

Overall, the structure is very good throughout the story, with the sentences being interesting to read, the pacing good, and the chapters well-structured! I only had minimal suggestions regarding paragraph length, though the structure was still generally good.

Flow: 8/10. When it comes to the flow, it's strong! The grammar is pretty good, the spelling is solid, and the punctuation is also pretty good aside from the occasional comma error. The sentences include highlight moments with solid lines. Like I said in the timelessness section, this story is memorable and stood out due to its strong emotions, which is a result of the engaging lines!

For example, from chap 1: Dignified regality, as ever, is a façade for dirty politics and a history of family backstabbing. Royalty is made to be seen by the public, therefore what you see on the surface is never the truth. And those who are spoilt since childhood inevitably lack proper compassion.

Those three sentences do a great job giving the reader grounding in the scene while doing so in a pretty way. The language is quite nice without being over-the-top, and you capture the feeling of the Greek mythology well!

Another example, this time from chapter 2: I have resumed my chronicle, for with my abominable misfortune, the misery does not end with death. There is no way to end my consciousness permanently. Believe me, I have tried.

This is the opening from chapter 2, and it's great! It establishes exactly what it needs to and does so effectively & without dilly dallying.

Another example from chapter 2: The other nearby monsters - I feel within my rights to call them such - eyed her hungrily.

I love the "I feel within my rights to call them such" line. It's so powerful in the context of this narrative, and it's a nice detail to show us his mental state.

And, of course, I love everything with Kim and him naming the chimera Kim to begin with.

So, to summarize, the flow throughout the story is great, and there were plenty of lines worth noting that hooked me in, especially in the second chapter!

Suggestion-wise, I don't have much other than there were some errors or awkward sentences here and there that could potentially benefit from a tweak, same with the paragraphs I mentioned in the structure section where trimming some of the long ones may be beneficial. I'll provide some examples of the other stuff below.

From chap 2: I wouldn't have put her age at more than six hundred years, and yet with a piercing screech, the harpies dumped her in the specific realm of Tartarus in which I reside, and flew off mercilessly (for they are granted passage through to Erebos by Hades). I recommend removing the final comma since it's technically a compound predicate, so it'd become: I wouldn't have put her age at more than six hundred years, and yet with a piercing screech, the harpies dumped her in the specific realm of Tartarus in which I reside and flew off mercilessly (for they are granted passage through to Erebos by Hades).

Also from chap 2: I had thought we were companions, friends, even. Here, this might benefit from making the friends sentence its own for more punch and fluidity. Example: I thought we were companions. Friends, even.

So, those are just a few random suggestions, though I overall thought the flow was good and had many great moments that stood out to me!

Title/blurb/cover: 8.5/10. The title is Eagle's Flight, and as an American, I'd be crazy not to give this title full credit. RAAAH RAAAH (sorry, it's instinct to RAAAH whenever I see eagles). But red white and blue aside, the title is spelled and capitalized correctly, and it makes perfect sense for the story. It basically says exactly what the story is going to be about, so can't fault it, right? For those reasons, I have no critiques of the title.

As for the blurb, it tells the audience it is a retelling of a Greek myth (which is already an awesome concept... you can do so much with Greek mythology), and it tells us who is essentially going to be the narrator. I think it will hook readers since it's already such an awesome concept. A little more detail could be beneficial to set more stakes and get readers wondering more about the story, though I still think it sparks intrigue nonetheless.

Grammatically, it's fine, though it may flow a tad more fluid without the dash. So it'd become: A retelling of the Greek myth of Prometheus from the viewpoint of Aethon, the eagle cursed to tear out Prometheus' liver as a punishment from Zeus.

As for the cover, it's great! I really like the color scheme and how it relates to the title and blurb (and general story). It's clearly story-specific, making this cover stand out, and all of the font is awesome. It's a beautiful cover with every detail in the right place. I can definitely see this as a fully published book's cover, seeing as it's super professionally-done. All in all, I have no critiques for this cover!

Total: 41.5/50.

ALL REVIEWS

Divine Ascension by Milicaorevi7

Review:

*Note I read the entirety of part 1, as that was slightly over four hours, so this review will be about part one.

Creativity: 8/10. When it comes to the creativity of the story, I'd say it's good. I write this section last (ironic that I do the first section last...), so I won't have too much to say here that I haven't already typed out in the future, but I'd like to summarize nonetheless. I think the magic and the general concept of this fantasy world was interesting, and the plot did not go at all the way I expected. I expected many giant battles, and there were battles of course, but I was surprised (pleasantly) at how intimate the story became, focusing much on Melinda and Patrick's complicated dynamic and what Patrick truly wanted from her. That direction was a cool angle, and it's safe to say I was always on my toes from that point forward. It made this story creative and unique within its genre, hence why I think it should have a good score.

Another point is the Ink Man is really, really cool, and all of the concepts revolving around the monsters, although the focus is more on magic, were great. When you have such a cool concept in the first chapter, it hooks and engages readers, so good job with that!

Suggestion-wise, I'll say this again in the next section, but I don't have too much to say that won't be explained throughout the review. I felt the sentences, at times, could have potentially been revised for stronger fluidity and also more opportunity to explore unique sentence structures. The text has a tendency to put a lot in one sentence, and splitting these sentences up could lead to stronger impact. Another thing is there was a lot of telling over showing, which isn't inherently a bad thing (I believe every story needs telling to a certain extent; I don't align with the "always show, never tell" crowd), though too much could potentially risk losing engagement. I also had some suggestions regarding structure and how certain lines are presented.

Overall, the creativity is solid and features many interesting traits that kept me engaged. I had minimal suggestions, so I think this section deserves a good score.

Timelessness: 7.5/10. This section refers to how emotionally impactful and memorable the work is. I'd say this work, especially the longer it goes on, has many emotional and impactful moments, particularly with the final two chapters of part one. When Melinda truly has to confront her darkness via those chapters, it pays off all of the build up in the beginning and made for an intriguing final two chapters, especially considering what she does to Jeff. It was unexpected but also set up to properly, meaning it didn't feel out of nowhere but was still shocking.

I also think the concepts throughout the story were good. When Melinda casts the necromancy spell in the beginning, much to Thorne's dismay, that was a neat spell that was described well. The magic was a highlight of the piece for me, and I also thought that the very back-and-forth dynamic between Patrick and Melinda (especially when it came to magic) was entertaining to watch unfold, seeing as so much of that was about magic.

Generally speaking, the story is memorable due to its unique take on the fantasy genre and how it brings Jeffrey into it as well. I thought it was a nice twist when Jeff was revealed as being there as well, under Patrick's "care," though that element kept growing as more characters entered the fray and continued to make the plot go deeper. Jeff was probably the most interesting character for me. Being with a "legend" in their world (Melinda) is draining on him in more than one way, and the layers of his character were shown in cool little ways with attention to detail, all the way up until the end of part one, and to a certain extent, even during the ending of part one we still feel his character.

Suggestion-wise, since this is like an accumulation section, there isn't much to say here that hasn't already been said or will be said throughout the review. There could be some tweaks to the structure and flow to strengthen the deliver of certain emotions, and I'll go over that soon. There could also potentially be a downsizing on the telling/summary over showing/scene, but I'll talk about that later. Another thing is there could be more clarity in certain areas, like in chapter 4 with the assassination attempt. He turns around and starts talking, but it's unclear where the dagger went and if she gave up the attempt because he turned around (she seems the type to try anyway). A little more clarity with moments like that could be beneficial.

Overall, there are many interesting moments throughout that gave it emotional weight and memorability. I only had a few suggestions, and most of which will be explored later, though I still think this section deserves a good score.

Structure: 6/10. When it comes to the structure, it has many moments where it's fluid and makes sense, especially the later in the story you go as the chapters build on one another. This leads to the chapters feeling connected in terms of their pacing and also their beginnings/endings. The sentences themselves also have this trait, and while I have some suggestions regarding trimming sentences, that will be for the flow section. Still, generally, there are many sentences that have good structure and feel fluid, so that makes the structure good as well! Narratively, the story also makes sense from a structural standpoint, with the plot points coming when needed and not feeling forced.

Suggestion-wise, I have a few things that could potentially strengthen the structure. To begin, when it comes to dialogue, I would recommend considering reading dialogue out loud and/or plugging it into a text-to-speech generator (TTS) to hear it read back to you. I always recommend this for general text, too, since it's a great way to edit and hear how natural sentences sound. I personally dropped editing software altogether and just use TTS since it works far better.

But, anyway, tangent about how good TTS is aside, the reason is because sometimes the dialogue sounds a bit too articulate considering the emotional state of the scene/characters, and/or tends to have a lot of exposition and/or over-explaining.

For example:

p1 c1: Imelda released a heavy sigh. "I wish I could make you understand just how unreasonable you're being right now. You're young and naive, and so it's normal for you to act selfishly, but you have to understand that you and your friends are going to die if a monster spots you because none of them have any mercy at all. They're servants of evil, and there's nothing that they love more than to see an innocent person suffer. Just tell them to go home and stay here with me, okay?"

This is very articulate considering the dire circumstances and general emotional state of Imelda. Most of the characters speak this way, even during emotional moments, so I would recommend more diversity with their speech style and structure during emotional moments.

And, similarly, when characters are in hurrys, they still take time to go over the details, hence the over-explaining I mentioned.

Example also from p1 c1:

"It means you'll come to live at our headquarters. Your life will never be the same again, but there's no other option, now that your life is in such jeopardy. Having heard of your greatness, all sorts of wicked people will try to come after you, and so no person like you can live as a recluse or run a teashop, so sorry about that. Anyway, it's time to go. The monster you killed has many friends who want to avenge it, and they should be arriving shortly. Say goodbye to your parents now. You may never see them again."

Here, this could potentially be trimmed, maybe even cut in half. Since they're in a hurry, some parts can be implied but not explicitly said, like how she can't live on a recluse anymore (that's implied by the "Your life will never be the same again"). Some more urgency could also potentially be added. Like, the "Anyway, it's time to go." There could be more urgency in this line to help readers more deeply feel the tension of the scene. Maybe a "We need to go. Now." or something of the sort.

Another thing related to the pacing is there could potentially be some downsizing on the summary over scene. Summary can be beneficial and isn't something that's inherently wrong, though for the opening chapter, for example, much of it is summarized. Maybe her birth could be downsized, and we can focus on the Ink Man, as that was a very interesting part of the chapter.

Or maybe more of the summary is moved toward Melinda's feelings regarding being inside (or even scenes of her frustration so we can see it on a personal level), that way when she snaps at her mom, she comes off as far more understandable. The way she snaps at her mom makes her unlikeable, which isn't inherently a bad thing (Gi-hun from Squid Game and Joel from The Last of Us are both "unlikeable" characters and yet are beloved; if anything, I tend to think unlikeable characters end up being stronger characters), though having a little more understanding of her feelings can help strengthen the foundation, as characters like Gi-hun and Joel, who are very unlikeable, have strong foundation since we saw their emotions and could understand their actions, even if we didn't like them (i.e., we see Joel's tragic opening and Gi-hun's genuine struggle with genuinely wanting to be a dad versus his battle with money). So that's a small suggestion for both this and future reference, as I do think this foundation could work, just potentially with a few tweaks.

Another point, while on the topic of summary and telling over showing, chapter 2 has a similar example:

However, the tomorrow dawn brought them all much bigger problems to worry about. The woods were already infested by monsters, but now everything had become much worse. Servants of dark magic were everywhere across the horizon, corrupting the lands with their influence and destroying everything in sight, and people were rallying to fight them, but without Melinda and her allies, they didn't have much hope.

The screams of the innocent woke her up when the sun had barely risen, rushing her out of bed and causing her to hastily put on her armour as she rushed to answer the call, ready to smite a lot of enemies with her sword, the same as she always did. Little did she know that this was just the start of something much, much bigger.

Here, it could potentially build more tension if we were not told exactly what the threat is. Leaving on a cliffhanger of not knowing the threat could potentially increase engagement and get people ready to read the next chapter right in that moment. I hope that makes sense.

In the following chapter, the opening line is "It was truly horrible out there." I would recommend showing this instead of telling it. And one last example would be from chapter 6, with the line, "Your husband the general must have been against it at first...". I would recommend shortening it to "Your husband" (or even "The general" if you want to emphasize that, but both are not needed, in my opinion) since most readers paying attention will be rewarded since they'll realize the last names are the same, and the context clues in the scene will show the general is the husband rather than tell this detail.

One last thing that's a bit smaller is I'd recommend considering italicizing words instead of bolding them, as italics tend to be less intrusive and easier on the eyes while maintaining the same effect in emphasis. That's not a big deal, though.

Overall, the structure has many moments of strong fluidity along with interesting sentence structures, though there could be some tweaks to the pacing and general structure of the summary over scene.

Flow: 6/10. There are plenty of good lines throughout that made the reading experience enjoyable. There were also plenty of moments of solid vocabulary with words that were well-chosen for the narrative. For example, from chapter 19: She felt numb, her bones atrophied.... I love the word "atrophy," and I think it was used well here. I know that's a small thing, but I wanted to appreciate it nonetheless.

There are plenty of other lines throughout that are good, though. I also liked the entire concept surrounding the Ink Man and the descriptions attached to them. They flowed well in that section, and I enjoyed reading that part a lot. And, as I mentioned earlier, all of the magic is described well and flows great!

Ingrid's sections in chapters 16 and 17 were pretty entertaining to read, and they flowed well, too. Ingrid was a pretty loud figure, but she often said things that challenged Melinda and gave the story a certain level of spice to it that I enjoyed. So, all in all, pretty good flow throughout with pretty good ideas to make the plot flow, too.

Suggestion-wise, the main suggestion I have is similar to what I mentioned in the previous section about considering reading sentences out loud when editing, as the sentences frequently feel like they can be downsized and/or split.

Example from part 1 chap 1: She knew that it was due to all the pain she had gone through and all the bliss that came after, and she knew that she would love her daughter and keep her always by her side and never let anything happen to her.

In this excerpt, there's a lot happening here, which can impact the pacing, too, if too many sentences are overstuffed. My recommendation is to consider splitting up some of these types of sentences more to come out more fluidly.

Another example from chap 1 is: Imelda wasn't a fan of it, for horrible memories kept returning to her constantly, but her dear John told her that it was okay and that she was simply acting like a child and that it meant nothing.

This could be trimmed. Do we need all three ending points here with the "it was okay" and "acting like a child" and "it meant nothing"? I don't know the answer to that. Only you can as the author. If all three are needed, then that's fine, but if there's a way to trim, it may be beneficial to do so.

p1 c1: These were his final moments as he was blown to pieces, bleeding out severely and choking on thin air, all the pain he had caused weighing down on his heart as he was being dragged towards the void, where there was no light or sound or hope for those most wicked of souls who were sent there.

The same applies here with trimming. I would recommend removing "severely" since "bleeding out" already implies severity, so no need for the adverb. The "being dragged" could also potentially be reworked since the Ink Man is dying here. Using passive language may appear less impactful. Maybe: "...as he descended into the void," or if you just want to remove the "being," it can become: "...as he was dragging towards the void..." or something of the sort.

p1 c1: Her face and dress were stained with the monster's innards, which felt cold and unpleasant against her gentle porcelain skin and would take a long time to be washed away, both physically and mentally.

Here, this is stronger, though I recommend potentially trimming and splitting that second half to make, "...skin. It would take a long time to wash away, both physically and mentally." I made it wash away instead of any "to be" since I recommend avoiding "to be" whenever possible due to its passivity.

p1 c2: Swiftly, Melinda ran and ran until she fell into Jeffrey's embrace, more than glad to have his shoulder to cry on, relief enveloping her as she felt the soft touch of his hands, unwilling to move away because of how haunted she was by her ghosts, and he didn't understand it at all, but he didn't want to bother her until she was done crying either, so he simply smiled sadly in her direction, ready to stand there all night long if he needed to, anything to pacify the love of his life.

This above is all one sentence, and I recommend splitting this up.

Another thing is the usage of the word "that." In 90% of cases, don't need the word "that," and using the word "that" too often can cause sentences to feel cluttered. Of course, there are instances where you need the word "that," but if you can read the sentence out loud without the word "that" and it sounds good, then you can probably trim it. Just a random example off the top of my head: "You know that I love you." Or: "You know I love you." It's only one word, but the second sentence is so much more fluid because of the lack of pause with the unnecessary "that." I noticed many uses of "that" throughout, so that's why I recommend considering downsizing on it in future works. An example from the text would be the example I showed in the structure section: They're servants of evil, and there's nothing that they love more than to see an innocent person suffer. The "that" in "that they love more" can be removed for stronger fluidity.

There are some spelling errors throughout that could be tweaked. I'll show two examples below.

p1 c3: She knew deep in her heart that this was a battle like no other and than one wrong move could doom them all and that the spell she was casting was quite dangerous, but she didn't waqnt to think about it too much, so she simply continued focusing on the task. Here, the "want" is spelled incorrectly, same with "that" since it's spelled as "than." Like I mentioned in previous points, I would also recommend splitting up this sentence and/or trimming some of the detail.

Maybe something like: She knew deep in her heart this battle was like no other. One wrong move could doom them all, and the spell she was casting was quite dangerous, but she didn't want to think about it too much. So, she simply continued focusing on the task.

That's one potential way to take it, but I encourage you to play around with it!

p1 c6: "I may not have prepared anything fo you to eat..." Here, the fo needs to be for.

While on the topic of word choice, I recommend being careful about the positioning of certain words. For example, in p1 c1 when the Ink Man attacks: ...with nothing but smug, self-satisfied glee.... Here, I recommend removing the "self-satisfied" or "smug" since they mean the same thing. The exact definition of smug is "excessively self-satisfied," so you're not saying "smug, self-satisfied glee," as it technically means "self-satisfied, self-satisfied glee." I hope that makes sense!

Overall, the flow has its moments where it's strong with interesting sentences, concepts, and paragraphs that build and build to create a cool plot; however, I recommend some tweaks to sentence length and some fluff words (most notably: "that") to strengthen the flow further.

Title/blurb/cover: 7.5/10. The title is Divine Ascension, which is spelled and capitalized correctly. It also makes perfect sense for the story and fits in well with the cover. For those reasons, I have no critiques for the title!

As for the blurb, it says who the main character is going to be and gives a general rundown of the plot. For those reasons, from a creative standpoint, I think it works for the story and lets the reader know exactly what they need to know. Grammatically, I would recommend breaking the blurb into more than one paragraph, as it's all one and therefore a wall of text. Having smaller, more digestible paragraphs is very important for a blurb, so that's why I recommend it.

The SPAG is good, though I have one technical suggestion involving this sentence: As a magical prodigy the likes of which the grand country of Obscuria had rarely seen, she had spent years and years training among those like her to preserve its glory. The likes of which is the part I want to comment on. It can potentially be trimmed to: As a magical prodigy the grand country of Obscuria.... That's just a small suggestion, though.

As for the cover, the background image is great. I like the divine feel it has (fits into the title, right?). I love the colors, and it attracted me right away. It fits into the story well and feels book-specific. Suggestion-wise, the title could potentially have stronger, more eye-catching placement on the cover. I can understand going for a more elegant font, but maybe something more noticeable to give it more pop on the cover. Though, I still like the image.

Total: 35/50.

Guldastaa by anOverthinkingDevil

Review:

*Issuing a trigger warning for anyone who is not the writer reading this. I'm not going to go into any graphic detail about the darker topics in this story; however, I will be alluding to them and discussing a survivor's mentality, so please do not read this if you have any triggers with SA.

Creativity: 8/10. The creativity of this piece is pretty good! It's a contemporary romance, but it's honestly more of a deep dive into psyches rather than a focus on romance. The romance between the two leads is more of a bonus, but the exploration of the darker themes is the focus, and I think it does a good job maintaining said focus. It doesn't stray from the darkness and instead lets the ideas and the actual trauma from these dark topics come to light in a natural, mature way. Mithila is always treated with respect by the writer (as in, her situation is handled maturely and never romanticized; even Arya says this in the book to Shounak to not "romanticize it").

For those reasons, I think this is a strong creative piece. It clearly comes from the heart and has a lot of effort put into it.

Suggestion-wise, as you can probably tell based on the high score, I don't have much, and since I do this section last (ironic considering it's first...), I don't really have anything to say that I won't explain throughout the review. Really, the only things I'll summarize briefly here (but will talk about later) is how I have a suggestion regarding potentially trimming certain areas along with potentially tweaking sentences to help with clarity of the ideas.

Overall, the creativity of the piece is high, and I thought there were many interesting concepts that were fleshed out well, therefore I believe this section deserves a very good score.

Timelessness: 8/10. This section refers to the emotional impact and memorability of the piece, and I'd say it has both of those qualities. It tries something new and covers dark topics—extremely dark. I appreciate the fact that you shed light on such a sensitive topic, as it's not one I see often on Wattpad. Well, quite frankly, when I do see it on Wattpad, to be perfectly honest it's normally romanticized and something that needs to be banned. Here, though, it's honest. It is not used as some plot device or character trait but rather an actual narrative showing both the daily struggles and small victories, or sometimes even the big victories toward the end with Shounak, even if Mithila doesn't feel like it's a big victory, just closure. But sometimes that closure, no matter how big or small, is enough, even if it doesn't feel like it on the surface.

I'd say those aspects of the story are what make it memorable, and I can see why it was your favorite piece to write. It really tries something, and I respect that, hence why it deserves a high score. And I also commend you for writing about a topic this dark, as it's not easy for readers to read because of how real it is; however, you're the one writing it, and that takes courage, which I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate.

Suggestion-wise, since this is an accumulation section, I don't have much that won't be said throughout the rest of the review, so I'll just summarize and let future me explain it. There are some issues with scene breaks feeling abrupt and some flow critiques I have which can help with the overall emotional impact, and another thing is a bit specific for this section. The other thing is for future works covering dark topics, I would recommend considering limiting how much is shown. There are a lot of flashbacks throughout, and many of them are good. It's not that any of them were bad, that's not what I'm saying, but it's often more effective when less is shown and we're left to imagine it. It's not that it necessarily got too much, but after the first time, it could potentially be trimmed. But, overall, I'd say the emotional impact is good, and I appreciated the experimentation within this piece, leading to it deserving a high score!

Structure: 7.5/10. When it comes to the structure, it's pretty good, with the story structure making sense. The story ends where it needs to and doesn't drag anything out. There is a coherent, satisfying conclusion, and the beginning is a coherent, satisfying beginning that I think will get readers ready to... well, read! The paragraphs are generally well-structured, and while there are grammar errors I would recommend tweaking so the sentences flow smoother (which in turn can help the sentence structure), the general structure of the sentences is good. When the structure of the story is good, there's normally not too much to say other than it's good, so good job!

Suggestion-wise, other than tweaking the grammar errors I'll go over in the next section, I don't have too much to say other than there were semi-frequent confusing scene breaks. When you use three dividers, like --- or *** (in this case, the story uses ---, but some use *** or something similar), it's a universal sign for a scene break. So if the scene isn't breaking, then it may confuse readers. There are many scene breaks throughout, and most are fine, but there are a few that are confusing, like chapter 5 has a second scene break when they're in the same scene, and there's another one shortly after that as well, or like in chapter 19 when they're on the date and she swirls the last bit of chai in her cup. There's three --- above it, but there's no need since it's the same scene and feels like even the same moment. So that's why I'd recommend avoiding those symbols unless you're meaning to say the entire scene is switching, or we're going to a drastically different time in the same area (i.e., morning to night). I hope that makes sense.

Overall, the structure is pretty good throughout the story, with the sentence structure generally being solid and the structure of the narrative itself being good. I only have a few suggestions, though it's otherwise a good section.

Flow: 7/10. When it comes to the flow of this story, it's good! It has many highlights where the conversations were fluid (especially Arya and Mithila's early conversations), the sentences ran off the tongue well, and paragraphs that flowed together/transitioned well together. However, I'd like to point out a couple lines in particular that I liked, so I'll leave them below.

Chap 6: We walk side by side, the city slowly thinning out around us. The mist from the earlier rain still lingers in the air, wrapping the night in a gentle chill. I really like how the city "slowly thinned" out, and also how there's an emphasis on rain throughout the piece. I really liked the rain descriptions. I wish I copied it, but there was a line about drizzle on asphalt (I don't remember which chapter D:), and I really liked that one, too.

From chap 7: He likes to play with people's thoughts—he himself said so a little while ago.

I feel disgusting now.

Irritated.

I wish I hadn't met him today.

This insight into how she's feeling sets the tone for the story and gives us a major clue as to what's happened in her past. It impacts her daily life, and I like that she was written responsibly through these vivid but sad peers into her mind. It feels so incredibly real, and this is all accomplished with just a few words. The ending of "I wish I hadn't met him today" is what especially struck me. Despite how she does really like him, just one moment can cause all of these thoughts, and it shows Mithila's psyche quite well and personally.

Chap 15: "There is nothing more unattractive than a woman who doubts her own beauty," he said quietly, each word measured. "And nothing more powerful than a woman who is aware of it—but doesn't flaunt it." As much as I dislike Shounak as much as the next person, he is right here, and it's a powerful line. I hate him, as I'm sure everyone does, but I think what made him more hateable is the fact that he dropped some actual, genuine good advice, which shows how much of a manipulator he is. All of that is to say he was well-written.

So, all in all, the flow of the story was good, and it had great lines throughout along with interesting conversations between the characters along with realistic insights into Mithila's thoughts.

Suggestion-wise, there are grammar errors throughout that could be tweaked. I'll provide some examples below.

His hairs, slightly curly (chap 1). Here, I would recommend spelling "hairs" as "hair."

...he doesn't deserve that kind of money for these kind of work (chap 1). Here, this sentence is a tad confusing. Maybe something like: ...he doesn't deserve that kind of money for this kind of work.

I walk toward the parking lot. My scooty parked at the corner, away from the expensive cars (chap 1). Here, this sentence may benefit from being combined. Consider: I walk toward the parking lot, my scooty parked in the corner and away from the expensive cars.

Arya came home from clinic, mentally exhausted (chap 3). This is missing an article. Consider: Arya came home from the clinic, mentally exhausted.

Chap 4: Or maybe he does, and chooses to ignore it. This is a compound predicate sentence type where the same subject is doing two actions, so I would recommend removing the comma. It'd become: Or maybe he does and chooses to ignore it. Same applies to this: He smiles again, but doesn't speak (chap 6). Consider: He smiles again but doesn't speak.

Chap 5: The whole week, Arya had been trying—obsessively, almost desperately to find Mithila on social media. I would recommend a second dash here. It'd become: The whole week, Arya had been trying—obsessively, almost desperately—to find Mithila on social media.

There are some tagging errors. Example from chap 5:

"I'm sorry, I - I was little distracted." He admitted, trying to calm his thoughts.

She simply nodded, "Nice to meet you, stranger!"

"Same here." He fumbled. He was anything but smart when it came to initiate chat with beautiful women.

And he was failing beautifully.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" She asked loudly, leaning forward.

All of the above tags are incorrect. The "he admitted" needs to be lowercase with a comma instead of a full stop after distracted, the She simply nodded should have a full stop after it (actions are not tags, therefore a nod is not a proper tag), the "he fumbled" needs the same treatment as the "he admitted," and the last "she" should be lowercase. Tags are always lowercase when they come after the dialogue unless they are a proper noun, so that's why the "she" would be lowercase there. That was a lot right there, so I hope it made sense. I'm more than happy to clarify anything if needed!

As for spelling, there were some spelling errors throughout, but normally not distracting. The only time it was distracting was in chapter 8, where there were a few spelling errors at the end (I is lowercase, my is spelled as ny, go is spelled as do, etc.).

One last thing is this line: He read slowly, deliberately (chap 2). I advise against using "slowly, deliberately" like this since it's a bit cliche, and it oftentimes is a bit redundant. By that I mean reading is a conscious choice, so the very act of reading is already deliberate, therefore making the adverb unneeded. But, either way, I advise against using this phrase since it's one of the most common phrases you'll see in particularly romance books, but in some other genres like contemporary literature as well.

Overall, the flow is pretty good throughout the story and has interesting moments, dark concepts, and interesting language that made me intrigued to read what would happen next. There are frequent grammar errors, though I still all in all enjoyed my read.

Title/blurb/cover: 8/10. The title is Guldastaa, which is capitalized and spelled exactly as needed, and it fits the story perfectly. For those reasons, I have no critiques of the title.

As for the blurb, the blurb establishes who the characters are, what the general idea of the plot is going to be, and a hint at what's going to happen thematically, making it pretty solid from a creative standpoint. Grammatically, it's also good, with the sentences lacking major errors. The only suggestion I have is about this sentence: He unravels a buried story of a sixteen-year-old girl caught between trust and betrayal, manipulation and silence. Maybe consider: He unravels the buried story of a sixteen-year-old girl caught between trust and betrayal, manipulation, and silence. All I did was change the "a" to "the." Otherwise, the blurb is good.

This is not a criticism of the blurb since it isn't your fault (it's Wattpad's), though I would recommend tweaking the hyphens to em dashes. Wattpad converts most em dashes into hyphens in blurbs especially, though there is a symbol that looks identical to an em dash that Wattpad doesn't convert to a hyphen. It's this: ―. It looks exactly like an em dash, but it's considered a "symbol," so Wattpad keeps it in instead of converting it. If interested, you can copy paste it from my book's blurb for Bound in Roses and Chains since it's present in that blurb. That doesn't factor into the score at all, but I wanted to mention it nonetheless since there are a few em dashes in your blurb.

As for the cover, I like the picture used. It's of good quality and fits the story perfectly. It's seriously clearer than my eyesight, so I have no critiques of the image. The font of the title and title placement may benefit from being tweaked a bit. Maybe the title could be lowered a tad, but that's just a maybe (I'm far from a graphic designer, after all). It might also benefit from having the author's name on there. If it is on there, I would recommend making it more visible, as I only see one small patch of text near the bottom but can't make out what it says. Overall, though, I like the cover.

Total: 38.5/50.

*In basically most other categories, this would secure a top 1 or 2 spot, but this category was very tough. To put it into perspective, this was the score of the winner from last round. So, I wanted to leave a note here to say please stay motivated and keep writing, and I will be giving additional votes to this story to celebrate its hard work and high score.

Euphoria by NotEvenEstella

Review:

Creativity: 8/10. This is a pretty creative literary piece. It has a strong emphasis on colors and how it feels to actually be in a state of "euphoria," and I think that side of the narrative is done well. I think the use of colors was creative, and they also gave an aesthetic feel to the short.

The general idea of the story, with it being about a feeling personified into basically a dream, was neat. I've seen stories about dreams and even stories with emphasis on colors before, but none of them have ever executed their ideas like this, making this a very unique and original piece!

There were also cool lines throughout that I enjoyed, such as, "The strangers starts humming again, and the bubble starts tearing from the top." I don't know why, but I just like the bubble "tearing" here. That was a nice verb to use. I also liked the use of the word "stardust." I like that word a lot, and it makes perfect sense in this story.

Another example: "The blue vanishes from around you within moments, your irises feeling fuzzier." The "irises feeling fuzzier" part is what I'm drawn to. That's a unique way to talk about blurry vision. Plus, the word "fuzzy" is one you can't go wrong with. It's like the best word on the planet, right behind "redhead."

One last example is this: Dark blue is swept over your fingers, your nails covered in neon green. That's from the first chapter. The others are all from the last chapter. But here, I liked the unusual colors. They're unusual since you wouldn't think we'd have blue on our fingers or even neon green nails (unless you really like green), so it established how the story was going to go (whacky, fun colors) from then on out. For those reasons, I think the story is creative and features many unique lines!

Suggestion-wise, I don't have much. I have a thing for doing the first criteria last, for some reason? I don't know, but the same applies here. So I don't have anything that won't be explained throughout the review, mostly in the timeless (the weeknd flashbac- oh my god. I actually just got Timeless on shuffle. I'm being so deada$$, I actually did. Holy timing.) and flow sections. I have some suggestions regarding some word choice (but the overall word choice is good), and also some suggestions with fluidity that could potentially give the sentences a creative boost, but that's another thing I'll go over later.

Overall, the piece is very creative and does a good job experimenting and pushing boundaries. I enjoyed my read, and I thought the colors in particular were impressive. I didn't have much in terms of suggestions, so I think this deserves a good score.

Timelessness: 7.5/10. This section refers to the general emotional takeaway and memorability of the piece, so almost like an accumulation section right at the beginning of the review, lol. I'd overall say this is an emotional ride that sticks its neck out to be experimental, making it memorable, hence the good score. It's a perfect fit for this category since it's very prose-y, and it isn't scared to experiment with language and structure to expand upon its message and vibe (the dreamlike vibe, I mean).

I thought the presence of the stranger was a good one, too. He was a mysterious guide in a lucid dream, in a way, and I like how we never really learn his name (or the "you's" name, for that matter). I also don't think we really get a "name" for where they are. This story is very ambiguous and open-ended, and I don't mind that. I think that fits the story since the whole point is it's not something you think about; it's euphoria. That's also why there's the emphasis on colors I mentioned in the creativity part: a dream is colorful. So, I think everything matches here, and I had a fun time while reading, making it memorable.

Suggestion-wise, not too much, just a few things. There is, generally, good word choice, though there are a few things worth mentioning. This is a common pattern with second person stories, though many sentences start with "You." This isn't inherently a bad thing, though too many times can risk getting too repetitive and falling into that second person trap, so for future ventures into the second person, I would recommend downsizing on how many sentences start with "You." There was also a bit of head tilting. It doesn't happen too too often, but I did notice several uses of it. That won't factor into the score, though, but I thought it was worth mentioning while we were on the topic.

Another thing that's very small is the line, "A wave of feeling washes over you." I recommend being cautious about "waves of feeling" "washing" over a character since it's a very cliche line in an otherwise experimental and wholly original story. So that's another thing to keep in mind for future ventures.

One last thing is the fluidity could be strengthened since there were frequent punctuation errors, though that's something I'll go over in the flow section.

Overall, the timelessness is good, with the piece being memorable and emotionally interesting. It captures the dreamlike atmosphere exactly as intended, and it executes its concepts well. I had a couple of suggestions, but I thought the piece was all in all a memorable one.

Structure: 8/10. When it comes to the structure of the piece, it's good. The chapters begin and end where they need to, and the sentences are generally formatted well. The pacing is good, and the story ends where it needs to without dilly dallying or dragging anything out. The paragraphs were structured well, too, with them transitioning to one another fluidly without feeling awkward. I appreciated the images and chapter titles as well, which was the cherry on top. Generally, when the structure is good, there's not too much to say other than the structure is good, so good job!

Suggestion-wise, there are frequent punctuation errors that I'll get into in the next section since that impacts flow more, but it also majorly impacts sentence structure, hence why I'm mentioning it here. There are also a lot of em dashes throughout (particularly in chapter three, starting with the "he murmurs" part about halfway through), so some downsizing there may be beneficial. Em dashes are, of course, fine to use, though using too many, especially in similar ways (and all of the ones in chapter 3 are used in basically the same way), can become repetitive. Not a big deal, but it's something worth considering.

Overall, the structure is pretty good throughout the story, with the chapters beginning and ending where needed, and the story itself is well-paced and doesn't overstay its welcome. I only had minor suggestions, though this section overall deserves a great score.

Flow: 6/10. When it comes to the flow, this section talks about the technical writing and how the piece generally flows together. I appreciate the experimentation with the language and how it pushes your writing style and the style of the story. It definitely feels like euphoria and the daydream feel I imagine you were going for. The language does not shy away from the colors; in fact, it has a strong emphasis on them, which I think was a good choice. There are also many sentences and paragraphs where the writing is smooth and easy to read, making for a generally smooth read.

Suggestion-wise, there are frequent errors throughout that I'll go over below. The main error was punctuation, so the majority of the examples below will go over punctuation.

You look down, the ground is as far as your vision allows you (chap 1). Here, this sentence needs a semicolon since these are two independent clauses. It'd become: You look down; the ground is as far as your vision allows. I removed the second "you" since it wasn't needed.

Your vision is blurry, the pinks, blues and purples hollow your vision, and you blink back the tears forming in your eyes (chap 1). Similarly, since these are two independent clauses, I recommend considering tweaking the punctuation. But there are a few ways to take this.

Option one: Your vision is blurry; the pinks, blues and purples hollow your vision, and you blink back the tears forming in your eyes.

Option two: Your vision is blurry. The pinks, blues and purples hollow your vision, and you blink back the tears forming in your eyes.

Option three: Your vision is blurry, and the pinks, blues and purples hollow your vision, and you blink back the tears forming in your eyes.

Any of these work, so whichever appeals to you most is fine.

Example: You look up, the sky is swirling with clouds of tears (chap 1). This needs a semicolon. Consider: You look up; the sky is swirling with clouds of tears.

Example: It echoes through the space, but doesn't reach your eardrums (chap 1). The comma here isn't needed, so it'd become: It echoes through the space but doesn't reach your eardrums.

Example: He gets quieter; his face more visible; his presence more familiar (chap 3). Consider: He gets quieter, his face more visible, and his presence more familiar.

There are some minor general errors throughout.

Example: Purple glitter caresses your skin, and your try to brush it off (chap 1). Here, the "your" should be "you."

Another hexagon brushes in the inside of your brain (chap 2). Here, the "in" isn't needed. It can become: Another hexagon brushes the inside of your brain.

It glows faintly, it's translucent surface absorbing the blue around you (chap 2). Here, the it's does not need the apostrophe. Consider: It flows faintly, its translucent surface absorbing the blue around you.

Instead of answering, the boy tilts his head, and points to the sky (chap 2). Here, the second comma isn't needed since it's a compound predicate sentence type. Consider: Instead of answering, the boy tilts his head and points to the sky

Overall, the technical writing has its highlights, particularly with the interesting and experimental descriptions, and there are many moments of fluid sentences and paragraphs. There were frequent errors, particularly with punctuation, though, that I'd recommend tweaking.

Title/blurb/cover: 7.5/10. The title is Euphoria, which is spelled and capitalized correctly. It seems to set up what the story is going to be about upon first glance, seeing as the title and general vibe are very Euphoria (the show) coded. So, for those reasons, I have no critiques for the title.

As for the blurb, it's okay for the story. The grammar is pretty good aside from one line I'll go over below. So, grammatically, it's solid. The blurb mentions what the story's loosely going to be about. It's a tad vague, though I still think it's overall fine. We can deduce that the "feeling" you mention is euphoria, so it ties into the title well, too.

As for grammar, just this line: For better, or for worse. I can see the angle with the comma, but I'd still recommend removing the comma, so it'd become: For better or for worse. Otherwise, the grammar is good.

As for the cover, I like the colors, and it fits into the euphoria vibe. I'm sure whenever we think of the word euphoria, we think of the TV show and the vibe it sets, and this cover fits that vibe and is just pretty on its own. The picture is thought-provoking and caught my attention! I really like the font, too. There are only two things. One is the title could potentially be moved a tad to the right since the e of euphoria is hitting the edge, but there's some space between the a of euphoria and the right edge, so if it's moved just a taaad, it may be more center. The other is the subtitle could potentially be clearer, as the size makes it so I can't read what it says. Maybe if it were larger it may be more visible. I like the font for it, though. All in all, this is a good cover.

Total: 37/50.

-END-

Thank you for signing up for the Best Prose/Literary Piece category, or if you're just passing by, thank you for taking the time to celebrate the participants with me!

There are only four categories left. Isn't that exciting? We're a hair sniff away from finishing this contest, especially seeing as I've already started 3/4 final categories, and I've made great progress on Best Original!

I'm super excited to release the last few results, and if all goes well, I'll finish this contest in December at the latest.

Thank you guys for all the love on this contest, and I'll see you soon for the next batch of results!

~ Raven