Chapter 33

This morning, was a little weird for me. Kapag magiging ako ng umaga, Fabio would be there and it was unusual for him nowhere to be found when he came usually by seven in the morning.

Sina mama at papa lang ang naabutan ko sa sala pagkababa ko. I was searching for him so when I asked them, hindi pa raw dumarating. Maybe he was just busy and he has to manage his business back in Italy.

Inaasar pa ako nina papa dahil bakit ko raw ba hinahanap. Of course, I would. Kesyo raw, dati ako itong layo nang layo tapos ako naman daw 'tong hanap na nang hanap sa kanya.

Hindi ko na rin talaga alam sa pamilya ko, but I wouldn't stop them.

"May plano pa ngang gagawin 'yon si Fabio today," kwento ko pa.

Napakunot naman ng noo si mama. "O, anong plano? May pupuntahan kayo o kung ano man?"

"Feeling ko may pupuntahan," hindi ko siguradong sagot. "Wala naman kasi siyang iba sinabi bukod do'n, so I was expecting him to be here na. Like he always do for the past few weeks."

"Baka may ginawa lang," sagot ni mama. "Bakit hindi mo subukan tawagan?"

"E, ayoko. Sabihin no'n hinahanap-hanap ko siya. Ang hangin pa naman no'n. Hayaan na lang 'yon."

"Ano na nga ba talagang meron kayo?" usisa pa ni mama.

"Wala."

"Ay, nako! In denial lang si Jaja," sabat ni papa na nakikinig pala sa usapan namin. Nasa sala lamang siya.

"Pa, naman. Hindi, 'no."

"Sus!" Ngiti pa ni papa.

Binalik ko ang tingin ko kay mama saka ako umiling. "Tatay siya ni Matteo, and other than that do I have to feel something po ba? Feeling ko okay na 'yon."

"Nako, 'yan ka na naman. 'Wag mo na lokohin sarili mo, alam ko na naman na may gusto ka pa ro'n, e. Saka... ang gwapo-gwapo no'n, baka pwede niyo nang sundan si Matteo, 'di ba?"

"Ma!" Napadila ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. "Walang gano'n. mag-three months pa lang si Matteo. Jusko, hindi ko na kakayanin kung masundan kaagad si Matteo. Okay na ako na si Matteo lang muna aalagaan ko, 'wag muna sa ngayon."

"Malakas talaga ang kutob ko sa inyong dalawa," sabi ni mama. "Ipagpatuloy niyo lang 'yang ginagawa niyo ngayon. Hindi mo lang alam pero maganda na ang nangyayari sa inyong dalawa. Dahil din dito ay mas nakikilala naming si Fabio kung anong klaseng tao siya para sa 'yo at sa anak niyo."

"Ano nga po ba talaga siya para sa inyo?" taka kong tanong.

"Sa araw-araw ba naman na nandito 'yong Italyano mo, mukhang determinedo siya na makuha ulit ang loob niyo. Bilib nga ako sa lalaking 'yon. Ang sabi mo, habulin 'yan ng babae at maraming pwedeng gawin at kung tutuusin kaya naman niya talaga gawin 'yon pero mas pinili niya kayo. Isang malaking bagay na 'yon."

Napangiti na lang din naman ako.

"Well, I won't be leaving the country and being with him again unless what he is showing now is something that's long-lasting at hindi dahil gusto niya lang ipakita."

"Mukhang totoo naman," sabi pa ni mama. "Malalaman mo naman kaagad sa isang tao kapag seryoso sila o hindi. Sa nakikita naming kay Fabio, seryoso ang hangarin niya. Hindi ko na lang isasama iyong mga nangyari no'n pero botong-boto talaga ako sa kanya."

Bahagya akong natawa sa huli niyang sinabi niya. "Sana hindi dahil sa mga grocery na palagi niyang dinadala rito kaya nakuha loob mo, a?"

"Syempre kasama na 'yon!" Tawa pa ni mama.

"Sabi na, e." Hagikgik ko pa. Saglit lang din ay nang marinig namin si Matteo na umiiyak kaya nag-excuse muna ako para puntahan ang anak ko.

I quickly attended Matteo when I arrived at the bedroom. Pagka-karga ko naman sa kanya ay mabilis din itong tumahan. I checked if he needed to change his diaper or not dahil kakapalit lang din naman kanina at malinis pa naman. I just went on lifting my shirt up then remove my bra and let Matteo feed on me.

While at it, I thought I should give Fabio a call. Nagdadalawang isip pa talaga ko kung gagawin ko ba o hindi since ayoko rin naman siyang istorbihin kung may importante siyang ginagawa. For sure, he would be here.

Pero kung may pupuntahan kami mamaya, he should've informed me para naman makapag-ayos na rin ako at hindi magahol sa oras mamaya. Sa huli, hindi rin naman ako nakatiis at kinuha ko ang phone saka ako nagpadala ng mensahe.

One, two, five minutes passed, wala pa rin siyang reply. Nakabalik na sa pagtulog si Matteo at lahat-lahat ay hindi pa rin siya nagrereply sa akin, so I gave him a call which rings for a few minutes and ended up on voicemail.

I tried to call him one more time, but it went straight again to his voicemail.

Kung ano-anong kutob at pag-iisip na ang pumasok sa utak ko. Imposible naman na umalis at bumalik si Fabio sa Italy nang walang pasabi. He could've said something o baka ginawa na naman niya ulit iyong ginawa niya sa akin noon na umalis na lang nang walang pasabi.

Na iniwan na lang ako sa ere matapos no'ng mga naging pagsasama namin. I was really disappointed and heart broken when he left. I really thought we had something—real, and love. I was hopeful he would come back and reach out to me pero ni-ho at ni-ha ay wala akong narinig sa kanya.

Kung hindi niya pa nalaman na nabuntis ako, hindi niya ako babalikan. Or maybe I was just a side piece.

Ayokong mag-isip ng mga ganitong bagay at kung saan-saan napupunta ang pagbibigay ko ng konklusyon. I gave it for another few minutes to call him again, and for the fourth time it rings and my heart dropped when he answered it.

"Hello?" Pero boses ng babae ang bumungad sa akin.

Biglang bumagsak ang balikat ko nang marinig ko 'yon. Right at the back of my head, I know he would do this to me. Ano pa nga bang aasahan ko sa lalaking 'yon? He would repeat what he did to me all over and over again.

Nakakasawa na.

Hindi ako sumagot and thinking of hanging up the call when she repeated her words.

"Hello? Am I speaking to Mr. Giordano's wife?"

Mas lalo akong nabato nang iyon naman ang itanong sa akin. Kumusot ang mukha ko dahil hindi ko na mapaliwanag kung anong nangyayari.

"Ah, ye-yes po," I stuttered.

"This is Nurse Rhea from The Venture Medical City," anunsyo nito na mas lalong nagpadagundong sa dibdib ko. "Your husband is currently confined in this hospital. I was instructed by him to call you po. Alam niyo po ba papunta rito sa VMC?"

"Ah, yes. Alam ko naman po. That's just around Makati lang, right?"

"Correct po," pagkompirma pa nito sa akin. "He's staying on room 406 po. Fourth floor ng main building."

"Sige, thank you so much for this. I'll be there."

"Thank you rin po."

Pagkababa ng tawag ay agad kong binaba muna si Matteo sa crib niya at pumanik sa baba para ianunsyo kina papa at mama kung nasaan si Fabio. Pati sila ay nagulat nang malaman iyon. Si papa naman ang nagpresenta na samahan at dahil walang magbabantay kay Matteo ay si mama na ang nagpaiwan.

Mabilis akong nag-ayos sa sarili ko. Hindi na nga ako naligo dahil sa pagmamadali. Nag-book na lamang kami ni papa ng sasakyan para mapabilis ang pagpunta naming dahil matatagalan kami kung mag-commute pa kami sa public transpo.

"Ano bang nangyari?" tanong ni papa.

"Hindi ko alam," sagot ko. "Hindi ko na rin natanong dahil sa pag-aalala. Binigla ba naman ako no'ng nurse na sumagot ng tawag ko."

"Sana'y maayos ang lagay ni Fabio."

"Sana nga..."

While on our way there, I was praying he's on a good condition. Ano na naman ba kasing katangahan ang ginawa ni Fabio at napunta siya sa hospital?

Mga isang oras ang itinagal ng biyahe. Nang makarating kami ro'n, hindi na ako nakapaghintay at mabilis kong tinuran ang lugar kung nasaan si Fabio. Muntik pa kami maligaw ng room pero mabuti na lang ay inalala ko iyong sinabi ng nurse kanina. Nang nasa tapat na kami ng 406 ay kumatok muna ako.

Nilakas ko ang loob ko. I took a deep breath and think of good things. Pagkapasok ko ng room, I search around and found Fabio on the bed there. He noticed us, but couldn't shift his head in our direction dahil nakasuot siya ng neck brace.

"Fabio..." I muttered as I walked closer to him. "What happened?"

Inabot ko ang kamay niya which he squeezes in return. Lumipat naman sa kabilang banda ng kama si papa kung saan sinusuri niya rin si Fabio.

He groaned before he could speak. Something might've been hurting on him. Ngayon ko lang siya nakitang ganitong kaawa-awa.

"When I went back home to my condo last night, someone crashed into my car," kwento niya. Napasinghap na lamang ako at napatakip ang kamay sa bibig. "I was waiting on the stop light when a drunk driver speed run and crashed on my car—specifically where I was."

"Gosh..." Nanghina ako sa kwento niya. Iniisip ko pa lamang iyong nangyari sa kanya, it would freak the hell out of me. "What are you feeling now?"

"My hip hurts," he said. "I couldn't move much... I was given three days to rest until I can finally heal."

"I should've let you stay last night."

He smirked, shaking his head. "That's alright, Jacinta. I'm alright. I'm not dead, see?"

I chuckled even though it is a little painful seeing him in this state.

"What happened to the person who did this to you?" papa asked.

"I'm not sure," he said. "I blacked out when that happened so I don't really have an idea what happened, but he should be in jail for what he had done. I could've died there for his reckless driving."

"Yeah... luckily you're such a devil so here you are..."

He laughed, but instantly regret he did it and felt pain after that. "I won't laugh for now."

I breathe and find the smell in the hospital comforting, weird.

"Have you eaten already?" papa asked. Umiling naman si Fabio. "I'll buy some for you. I'll be back. Ja, maiwan muna kita rito."

Nang umalis si papa, hindi na ako umalis sa pwesto ko sa tabi ni Fabio. Nakakulong na rin ang kamay ko sa kanya at hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ko siya hinayaan na gawin 'yon.

"I was so fucking scared, Jacinta," he muttered. I looked at his face. "I thought I'd lose everything... especially, you and Matteo."

He couldn't rotate his head and only had to look straight as it might hurt him if he moves.

"When the nurse called, I was scared. It didn't actually process to me, it just did when we were heading here to the hospital. You had the plan to do something today, but here you are..."

He smirked. "Yeah, fuck that."

"You should just take a rest and get your strength back."

"Then stay here with me. Look after me."

I scoffed. "What about Matteo? I couldn't just let mama look after him all the time. It's exhausting."

"It doesn't seem like she was exhausted when she does that on you."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "Suntukin kita sa bewang mo, e."

"Don't," he warned, he could understand, but couldn't speak fluently talaga. "Well, I've heard what the nurse called you earlier. Mr. Giordano. That does sound perfect on you, right?"

I rolled my eyes.

"You look lovely, Jacinta."

"Ay, nako. Matapos mo akong i-stress, lalambingin mo ako bigla?" Pag-irap ko pa. "I didn't even say anything when she mentioned that, my mind was on what she was about to say. I could care less about it." I sniffed. "I really like the smell here... seems very comforting."

"Then stay with me here for the meantime."

Napabitaw naman ako nang malalim na buntonghininga. "Sure, sige na. I'll let my parents know about it, too. When papa gets back here, I'll tell him. Mukha ka naman kasing kawawa."

He smirked. "You're starting to love me, aren't you?"

And this time, I stand up and hit him on his hips which instantly made him scrunch a little. He was just laughing at why I did as it may still hurt him.

"Well, asarin mo pa ako. Hindi lang 'yan ang maabot mo sa akin."

"Oh, woman... you like it rough, don't you?"

When I was about to hit him once again, he immediately tried to defend himself. Hindi ko naman tinuloy. Tinakot ko lang talaga siya.

But even though he was in this condition, it made a little ick in my heart. This isn't the right place for us to create something new, but I guess it always starts somewhere else. And this might be a way for us to begin again... well, I hope with no more lies ahead.

#BirthOfLiesInSicily #BOLISChapter33 #WTS9