Chapter 27

My parent's presence truly felt a little weird to me. We haven't been talking or seeing them for the past year. I am not here to blame Shai for reaching out to them when I would do the same thing if I was in her position.

It's just that they don't know what happened to me and now they're seeing this life I had right now. I had a baby and had been missing for almost twenty-four hours because of Fabio's horrendous actions.

We talked already, but not deeply enough to know these things about me.

Hindi na rin naman nag-stay nang matagal ang parents ni Shai. They left after lunch and had to go back to their home sa QC. Naiwan naman ako sa sala kasama ang parents ko at si Shai na nasa kusina na inaabala ang sarili.

"I bet you both have questions..." I started looking at them then quickly shifted it back to Matteo.

"Kailangan ka nanganak, Ja?" tanong ni mama.

"I had him back in July. Sa Italy."

Pareho silang napasinghap nang malaman ang sagot ko.

"Yup... I've been to Italy. I stayed kina Auntie Lilian. I was there for seven months until I gave birth to Matteo two months ago. Hindi naman talaga dapat ako uuwi na. I had to. Wala akong choice... so nandito na ako ngayon."

"Inaalipusta ka ba nina Lilian?"

Agad akong umiling dahil hindi naman iyon ang dahilan. "Hindi po. They didn't lay a hand on me para saktan ako o gawin akong katulong. They treat me as a I am at walang pagkakaiba mula sa kung anong tingin nila sa akin at sa ibang tao. I am at home there."

"Kung gano'n, anong dahilan bakit ka umuwi?" tanong pa ni mama.

"Hindi po ba kayo masaya na umuwi ako?" balik kong tanong sa kanila.

"Hindi naman sa gano'n, 'nak," tugon ni papa. "Matagal kang nawalay sa piling namin. Hindi naming alam kung anong gagawin naming para makausap ka. Nitong mga nakaraang buwan, nagtatanong din kami sa mga may kakilala sayo kung nasaan ka pero hindi nila masagot dahil hindi nila alam. Masaya kami na nakita ka naming muli."

Nagkaroon ng kurba ang labi ko. Pait o kung ano man iyon. Hindi ko pa masyadong maidetermina kung ano itong nararamdaman ko para sa kanila.

"Nasaan ang tatay ng anak mo?" muling tanong ni mama.

Umiling na lamang ako. Ayokong pag-usapan ang lalaking 'yon. Ayokong ipasok pa siya sa usaping ito. Sa ginawa niya sa akin buong magdamag sa hotel na 'yon, he doesn't deserve anything from me.

"Mabuti pa't umuwi ka na lang muna sa bahay," suhestiyon ni papa. "Walang problema iyon sa akin. Naghihintay rin ang mga kapatid mo ro'n. Magugulat sila kapag nakita nilang may mga pamangkin na sila."

"Kung iyon ay handa ka na at gugustuhin mo rin," dagdag ni mama.

"Pag-iisipan ko muna ngayong araw. Kailangan ko ring kausapin si Shai."

"Walang problema... take your time, anak."

Iniwan ko muna sa kanila si Matteo at pinuntahan ko si Shai sa kitchen. Nagulat pa ito nang may kinakabisado pala siyang sayaw at nire-record ang sarili. Natawa na lamang siya.

"O, kamusta?" tanong nito.

"Ayos lang," tipid kong sagot. "I'm not sure what to react pa. I'm still processing all of this. Alam mo na, I just went through that moment with Fabio kanina kaya lahat nang nangyayari ngayon ay parang dumadaan pa lamang sa isip ko."

"Teka, ano nga ba talagang nangyari sa 'yo? Paano ka niya nahanap?"

Napakibit balikat ko. "Hindi ko rin talaga alam. But I guess, he paid someone else to look for me. Maybe I'm not just aware at parte rin pala 'yan si Fabio sa isang mafia organization sa Sicily. We wouldn't know, but hindi rin siya imposible. He's a very wealthy person, he has connections so he knew what he was doing."

"He may track you," hula ni Shai.

"I don't have an idea. I'm still shocked seeing him earlier. Nandito siya sa Pinas and he wanted us back to Sicily."

"Gosh," she said, covering her mouth. Napailing na lang din naman kasabay nang pag-aalala para sa akin. "That's not good, right?"

Umiling ako. "Yup. Even though Sicily felt like home, ayokong bumalik do'n para sa kanya. Lalo na't ayokong dalhin si Matteo pabalik doon. Maybe he has all this wealth and he can do whatever he wants, pero hindi niya ako mapipilit na bumalik doon."

"So, anong plano mo ngayon? Mukhang alam na rin nila kung saan ka nanunuluyan nagyon."

"Well, my parents say I should come home with them. Iyon lang ay kung gusto ko."

"And I guess, you should," mabilis niyang sagot. "Hoy, hindi sa ayaw kitang makasama rito sa condo, ha. I really like you as my roommate at para ngang ayaw na rin kitang paalisin dito, but for your safety and Matteo, maybe it's better na tumira ka muna sa parent's mo so you have them around you."

"I don't know... the last time I was with them, they don't really care."

Napabitaw naman nang malalim na buntonhininga si Shai at hinawakan ang kamay ko. "People changed, Jace. They may have changed, too. Hindi mo 'yon malalaman hangga't hindi mo aalamin. What happened back then is something we have to bury in the past and sow what we have in the future—even what we have in the present. Take this opportunity to get close to them, and a chance to reconcile with them."

Humugot ako nang malalim na hininga. "Maybe, that would be the plan now. I don't have any idea how to get away with Fabio. He'll do whatever it takes to get what he wants. This time, hindi na ang gusto niya ang masusunod."

"Tama 'yan, bes," aniya. "Let's get your things pack up para hindi rin kayo gabihin sa biyahe."

When I head back sa living room to announce my decision ay ngiti naman ang namukadkad sa mga mukha nila. Something that I haven't seen for a long time ago. While they were looking after Matty, Shai helped me pack up my things.

"Sure na 'to, ha?" sabi ko pa.

Natawa naman siya. "Yes naman. Pwede ka naman bumalik anytime you want."

"Babalik talaga ako rito. Alam mo, hindi pa nabibinyagan si Matty so kukunin kitang ninang niya."

"I would love that," she said. "Sasabunutan kita kapag hindi moa ko kinuhang ninang. Even though he doesn't like me to carry me, keri pa rin."

"Don't worry, he'll grow on you..."

When we finished packing for my things and Matty, kinuha ni papa ang ilan maleta at siya na ang nagbuhat no'n. We all head out all the way down to the lobby. Nagpaalam naman ako kay Shai. Niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit bago kami nagkahiwalay.

We booked a car and it didn't take too long when it arrives. Before I get inside the vehicle, I looked around to see if anyone was watching us. No one. We are safe. I get inside the car and it drove away to our destination.

It took almost two hours away when we finally reached our home. Walang pinagbago. Iyong dati pa rin naman naming bahay. Malinis na nga kumpara noon na halos mapabayaan na. Maybe, Shai was right. Things changed.

Pagkarating naming ay sinalubong kami ng mga kapatid ko—not really full blood, kapatid ko sa nanay. Isang twelve years old na si Vanjo at ang bunso na si Alina who is nine. They were also surprised to see my baby. Of course, hindi maiiwasan ang mga kapitbahay na sumisilip mula sa bakod ng kanilang mga bahay.

Habang ang mga kapatid ko ay tuwang-tuwa na makita at makilala si Matteo, ipinaalam naman sa akin nina papa na ihahanda lang daw muna nila iyong kwarto ko. Wala naman daw natutulog do'n bukod sa kapag may bisita ay do'n nanunuluyan.

I haven't reached out to Auntie Lilian since I left Sicily. Ipinadaan ko na lamang kay Ale ang lahat. Alam ko namang mapagkatitiwala ko si Ale. Simula rin no'ng umalis ako, hindi na rin kami nagkausap.

Halos isang oras ang nakalipas nang tawagin ako ni papa na maayos na raw ang kwarto naming ni Matteo. They found me look so tired kaya kailangan ko raw ng pahinga. Totoo naman 'yon.

I didn't know why would Fabio actually take me and hide me from everyone. Akala niya ba pagmamay-ari na niya ako? I just hated the fact that I have to deal with him again and all the issues I need to resolve.

Matteo started crying when we were inside the room. There was no air conditioner so it might be a little harder for him to adjust. I don't have the money to buy one so kailangan munang magtiis sa electric fan.

It took half an hour until Matty stops crying. Well, his bottle of milk helps him get to calm down.

While at it, I noticed mama at the doorway. Nginitian niya ako kaya ibinalik ko rin ang ngiting iyon.

"Kamusta na?" muli niyang pagtatanong.

"Maayos naman po... sinumpong lang si Matty, but he'll get used to it."

"Pasensya na, wala tayong aircon dito, e."

"Ayos lang po. Wala naman pong problema sa kin 'yon."

"Gusto ko lang ulit matanong... nasaan nga ulit ang tatay niya?" tanong ni mama na sa tingin ko'y dala lang ng pagiging kuryusado.

"Hindi ko po alam..." sagot ko.

"E, kilala mo ba 'yon?"

Dahan-dahan akong tumango. "Kilala..."

"Alam niya ba?"

Nagkibit balikat na lang din ako. Gusto kong sabihin ang totoo, pero dahil nandito si Fabio sa bansa, ikinatatakot ko na baka madamay rin sila sa kung ano mang kalokohan ang gawin no'n.

"Saan ka rin ba nagpunta? Pinag-alala mo rin kaming lahat."

"Sa isang kaibigan po," sagot ko. "Hindi ko namalayan na sila ang nasakyan kong kotse. Sa condo nila ako nakatulog. We went to a party kasi, I've had drinks. Hindi ko naiwasan..."

I know, I lied. But I guess, it's better to say so. Ayoko na silang pag-alalahanin pa sa ibang bagay.

"Alalang-alala talaga kami... pati na rin ang pamilya ni Shaira," kwento niya. "At kung hindi niya kami tinawagan, hindi namin malalaman kung nasaan ka at anong nangyayari. Ito... ito ang unang beses muli na malaman naming kung nasaan ka kaya hinanap ka rin namin..."

"Do you know the reason why I'd left?" tanong ko pero tahimik lamang ang naisagot niya. "Kasi parang wala naman kayong pakialam sa akin. Na pabigat lang ako at walang ginagawang maganda sa buhay. I feel so worthless kaya umalis ako... and then I got pregnant and found a new life in Sicily. I just have to come home because of some things I need to deal with..."

Lumapit na lamang sa akin si mama at niyakap niya ako. She didn't say a word, but I could feel all the emotion with the hug she is giving.

That only interrupted us when my phone rings and I answered Shai's call. Mom excuses herself and I actually felt bad about it since I didn't also care about their feelings. Naging selfish ako.

"Jace, good thing you left early," bungad sa akin ni Shai.

"Huh? Bakit?" taka kong tugon.

"He came here in my condo looking for you," aniya. Napasinghap ako nang sabihin niya iyon. "May kasama siyang lalaki and I was so scared."

"Sinaktan ka ba nila o may ginawa silang masama?" pag-aalala ko pa.

"Wala naman, thank God," she said, felt a little relief there. "But they went inside my condo and look for you. Nang hindi ka nila mahanap, they are questioning me where you'd go. Ang sabi ko, hindi ko alam... ilang beses nila akong tinanong pero hindi ko sinabi until they left."

"Gosh... I'm sorry, Shai. You don't have to go through that."

"I know, but I'm okay... be safe ka lang, ha? 'Wag muna kayo lalabas ni Matteo."

"Sure... thank you..."

Natulala na lamang ako nang ibaba ko ang tawag. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa mga ginagawa ni Fabio. He's too unbelievable.

"Anong nangyari kay Shaira, anak?" tanong ni mama.

My attention quickly shifted to my mom and with that question, the lies I tried to build up made me regret it so easily.

To lie or to tell the truth... I only had a choice.

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