All

Artemis

"Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes and the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Wallace. But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is..."

"Will you listen to him? He's makin' the story sound like some Greek tragedy." One of the paintings on a pot said upset. She had long black hair and blue eyes.

"Lighten up, dude." another said she had red hair and green skin.

"We'll take it from here, darling." the one in the middle with blonde long tied up hair said shooing off the narrator.

"You go, girl."

"We are the muses... goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes." the blonde girl said.

"Heroes like Wallace." the green-skinned girl said fanning herself.

"Honey, you mean "Strong-lace". Ooh, I'd like to make some sweet music with him..." the blackie interrupted.

"Our story actually begins... long before Wallace... many eons ago. Ah. Back when the world was new," the blonde sang. "Whoa! The planet Earth was down on its luck             And everywhere gigantic brutes  called Titans ran amok."

"It was a nasty place. There was a mess  wherever ya stepped. Where chaos reigned and earthquakes  and volcanoes never slept."

"Whoo! Say it, girlfriend!"

"And then along came Oliver. He hurled his thunderbolt. He zapped. Locked those suckers in a vault. They're trapped             And on his own  stopped chaos in its tracks. And that's the gospel truth             The guy was too "Type A"  to just relax."

"And that's the world's first dish," the green-skinned girl said.

"Yeah, baby."

"Oliver tamed the globe while still in his youth." another red-head sang.

"Though honey it may seem impossible             That's the gospel truth. On Mount Olympus life was neat. And smooth as sweet vermouth. Although, honey it may seem impossible. That's the gospel truth. Ah, ah. Ah - Ah, ah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Ah, ah. Hey, hey, hey. Ah, ah hey, yeah." The muses finished pointing to a giant mountain that leads up to Olympus

"Wallace! Behave yourself." Barry said putting his son down in the crib.

"Oh, look at this. Look how cute he is.            Hah! Oh, he's strong... like his dad, hmm?" Oliver said looking at his son pick him up over his crib.

"Whoa! Excuse me! Hot stuff coming through!            Excuse me. One side, Bruce."

"Why, Clark, they're lovely," Barry said holding the flowers that Clark passed to him.

"Yeah, you know, I had Hal do the arrangement. Isn't that too nutty?            Fabulous party. You know, I haven't seen this much love in a room... since Booster discovered himself."

"Dear, keep those away from the baby," Barry said worried as Wallace picked up a bolt of lightning and chewed on it a little.

"Oh, he won't hurt himself. Let the kid have a little fun. On behalf of my son, I want to thank you all... for your wonderful gifts!" Oliver announced to all of the gods.

"What about our gift, dear?" Barry asked by his side.

"Well, let's see here. We'll take... Hmm, yes.            A little cirrus and, uh, hmm, a touch of nimbostratus... and a dash of cumulus.            His name is Connor... and he's all yours, son." Oliver announced before Wallace bumped heads with the creature and they smiled at each other.

The whole crowd awwed as they held each other close.

Oliver picked up the baby and held him close.

"Mind his head," Barry said pointing to the baby's head that was drooping.

"He's so tiny. My boy. My little Wallace." Oliver said holding him close

"How sentimental. You know, I haven't been this choked up... since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat! Huh? So is this an audience or a mosaic? Hey, how you doin'? Lookin' good. Nice dress." Jason said walking through the crowd.

"So, Jason, you finally made it.            How are things in the underworld?"

"Well, they're just fine. You know, a little dark, a little gloomy.            And, as always, hey, full of dead people.            What are you gonna do? Ah! There's the little sunspot.            Little snootchie. And here is a sucker for the little sucker.            Eh? Here you go. You just...            Sheesh!            Uh, powerful little tyke." Jason said holding his bruised fingers.

"Come on, Jason. Don't be such a stiff. Join the celebration!" Oliver said gesturing to all around them where the gods stood smiling at Wallace.

"Hey. Love to, babe...            but unlike you gods lounging about up here...            I regrettably have a full-time gig...            that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Oliver.            So, can't. Love to, but can't." Jason said starting to walk away.

"You ought to slow down. You'll work yourself to death.            Hah! Work yourself to death!            Oh, I kill myself!" Everyone laughed at Oliver's joke.

"If only. If only." Jason said starting his journey back down to the underworld.

"If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up it's Jason," the blonde muse explained.

"Cause he had an evil plan," the green girl said looking at the blonde.

"He ran the Underworld but thought the dead were dull and uncouth. He was as mean as he was ruthless and that's the Gospel truth. He had a plan to shake things up and that's the Gospel truth," the black-haired girl sang.

"Tim!" Jason called out once stepping off the boat.

"Coming, your most lugubriousness. Ow!" Tim said falling down the stairs.

"Terry!" Jason yelled to his other minion.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I can handle it!" Terry said before falling down the stairs and ending up falling on top of his brother Tim

"Tim! Oh!" Tim said getting up but still in pain.

"And Terry!" Terry said hopping up.

"Reporting for duty!" They said together before writhing in pain

"Fine, fine, fine. Just let me know the instant the Ghul's arrive." Jason said starting up the stairs.

"Oh. They're here." Terry said nervously.

"What? The Ghuls are here, and you didn't tell me?" Jason screamed flaming black hair turning white.

"We are worms! Worthless worms!" the two servants said turning into worms and bowing to him.

"Memo to me, memo to me: maim you after my meeting," Jason said holding his temples before making his way up the stairs.

"Darling, hold that mortal's thread of life...              good and tight. Incoming!" the shortest of the Al Ghuls said.

"I am so sorry that I'm..." Jason was interrupted

"Late!"

"We knew you would be. We know everything. Past." an older man said.

"Present." a woman with long brown hair.

"And future. Indoor plumbing. It's gonna be big." a small boy with vibrant blue eyes.

"Great, gr... Anyway, see, Ghuls, I was at this party and I lost track of..." Jason started.

"We know!" they said.

"Yeah. I know you know." Oliver said hair turning white for a split second. "So here's the deal. Oliver... Mr. High and Mighty, Mr "Hey, You, Get Off Of My Cloud,"... now he has..."

"A bouncing baby brat," they said together

"We know!" the woman said exasperated.

"I know you know! I know. I got it. I got the concept. So let me just ask: is this kid gonna mess up my hostile takeover bid, or what? What do you think?"

"Oh, no you don't. We're not supposed to reveal the future." the older man said trying to knock some sense into the younger.

"Oh, wait. I'm sorry. Time out. Can I...              Can I ask you a question by the way? Are you...              Did you cut your hair or something? You look fabulous. I mean, you look like a Ghul worse than death."

"Oh, gross!Yech! It's blinkin'!" Tim and Terry were grossed out by the eye that was being passed around.

"Ghuls, please. My fate... is in your lovely hands." Jason said using as much flattery as possible.

"Oh, all right."

"In years precisely...the planets will align... ever so nicely."

"Ay, verse. Oy." Jason was already bored.

"The time to act will be at hand.              Unleash the Titans, your monstrous band."

"Mm-hmm. Good, good."

"Then the once-proud Oliver will finally fall...              and you, Jason... will rule all!" the girl said making Jason ecstatic.

"Yes! Jason rules!" he shot fire into the rocks above him.

"A word of caution to this tale." the youngest interrupted.

"Excuse me?" that was not something he wanted to hear.

"Should Wallace fight, you will fail."

"What? Okay, fine, fine. I'm cool. I'm fine." Jason said calming himself down after turning white in blind furry. "Tim? Terry? Got a little riddle for ya. How do you kill a god?" Jason asked walking into a room full of skulls.

"I do not know!" Tim said upset with himself.

"You can't. They're immortal?" Terry guessed

"Bingo! They're immortal! So, first you got to turn the little sunspot... mortal." Jason said grinning.

Up on Olympus snoring of baby Wallace and Connor sounds through the clouds until there is a loud crash waking up Oliver and Barry.

"Wha... What is it?" Barry asked before turning to his husband.

"The baby!" they said looking at each other in panic.

"Wallace!" Barry called out kneeling at the knocked over crib.

"No!" Oliver called out lightning crashing everywhere

"Now we did it! Oliver is gonna use us for target practice!" Terry said holding one of the baby's arms while they flew down to Earth.

"Just hang on to the kid, Terry!" Tim said before they set him down.

"Hurry! Let's just kill the kid and get it over with, okay?" Terry said nervously.

"Here you go, kid. A little Grecian formula." Tim stuck the bottle in his mouth.

"Look at that! He's changing." Wallace was slowly not glowing anymore. "Can we do it now?" Terry asked wanting to get it over with quickly.

"No, no, no. He has to drink the whole potion. Every last drop!"

"Who's there? Mary, over here." a man said calling his wife over.

"Oh, you poor thing. Oh, don't cry," the woman said holding Wallace.

"Is anybody there?" the man called out.

"Now?" Terry asked.

"Now." Tim confirmed.

"Oh. Well, he must have been abandoned. Rudolph, for so many years... we've prayed to the gods to bless us with a child. Perhaps they've answered our prayers," Mary said holding the baby close.

"Perhaps they have. "Wallace"?" Rudolph said inspecting the medal that said his name on it and had lightning on the front.

Just then Terry and Tim disguised as snakes slithered out to kill Wallace but ended up being beaten and tied together. They were thrown and transformed back after.

"Jason is gonna kill us when he finds out what happened," Terry said pacing around trying to keep a level head.

"You mean, if he finds out," Tim said hatching an idea to not tell their master about not killing him and just tell Jason that they straight-up murdered that baby with no witnesses.

"Of course he's gonna f... If. If is good." Terry said nodding frantically.

"It was tragic." the green-skinned girl said.

"Oliver led all the gods on a frantic search.              But by the time they found the baby," the fifth muse, a brunette, said.

"It was too late." the green girl said upset.

"Young Walls was mortal now Mmm               But since he did not drink the last drop               He still retained his godlike strength. So thank his lucky stars," the red-head sang

"Tell it, girl."

"But Oliver and Barry wept Ooh, ooh, ooh               Because their son could never come home they'd have to watch their precious baby               Grow up from afar. Though Jason's horrid plan               Was hatched before Walls cut his first tooth, Ahh The boy grew stronger every day               And that's the gospel truth The gospel truth."

End Hercules One

Zambie: Jesus, that chapter alone was over 2000 words. I literally can't...