GOLF

1

Ella Sinclair (Andrew Ryan's Favorite Gal') greeted Andrew Ryan as he came to the apartment from a morning of golf.

"How was your game?"

Ella asked.

"I hit two great balls."

Andrew replied.

"Then why so glum? That's better than last week when you didn't hit any."

"Not really."

Andrew cleared his throat,

"I only hit them because I stepped on a rake."

GRAMMAR/DOCTOR

2

Valsláne (Alpha) was having problems in English class, so his teacher (Brigid Tenenbaum) decided to stop by on her way to the Little Sister orphanage to speak with his parents. When she rang the door bell, Valsláne answered.

"I'd like to talk to your mother or father,"

Brigid Tenenbaum said.

"Sorry, but they ain't here."

Valsláne replied.

"Valsláne!"

She said,

"What is it with your grammar?"

"Beats me,"

he answered,

"But dad sure was p*ssed that they had t'go bail her out again."

2

Atlas Quiz

Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?

A: A genealogist looks up your tree, but a gynecologist just glances at your bush.

3

The middle aged woman (Big Sister) seemed sheepish as she visited Dr.ZooZoo (Splicer).

"Come now,"

Coaxed the gynecologist,

"You've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me."

"This one is kind of strange...."

She said.

"Let me be the judge of that,"

Dr.ZooZoo agguaged her.

"Well,"

She huffed,

"Yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and I heard a plink-plink in the toilet; when I looked down, the water was full of pennies."

"I see."

Dr.ZooZoo listened.

"And That afternoon I went again and there were nickels in the bowl."

"Uh-huh."

He keeps listening.

"That night,"

she went on,

"There were dimes and this morning, Dr.ZooZoo, there were quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong,"

She implored,

"I'm scared about my wits!"

Dr.ZooZoo the gynecologist put a comforting bandaged hand on the Big Sisters shoulder.

"There, there, Its nothing to be scared about. You're simply going through your change."

4

The well-dressed buisnessman (Augustus Sinclair) was walking down a dark street in the Pink Pearl garment district when he was accosted by a Thug Splicer. Ordered to hand over all of his money, Augustus Sinclair did so, placing one hundred dollars in the Thug Splicers open hand. When he'd surrendered all his money, Augustus Sinclair casually retrieved two dollars and slipped them back into his money clip.

The Thug Splicer with disbelief,

"What the hell are you doing?"

Augustus Sinclair replied,

"I always take a two percent discount for cash transactions."

-The End of Part 2.-