Word count: 2244

Unedited

Adrian's POV

I officially launched my relationship site. I did that four months ago, after battling a suicide attempt, a few panic attacks and several nightmares.

The nightmares were still there, just not as frequent.

I'd been speaking with Diego, but our chats now were seldom. Once in a week, sometimes once in two weeks.

It was weird at first, because we used to tell each other everything and now we were so distant. I felt ashamed to try and get any closer to him, because I was the one that ruined what could've been a beautiful experience between us.

Even though I said I would stay away from Diego, I couldn't find it in me to leave Italy. Especially when the memories I'd made there had been nothing but beautiful. So I had moved back here because I got a job at Alfonsi entertainment, Giuliano's company in February, six months ago.

Now while my degree could've gotten me the job, I hasn't applied for it and I was sure that compared to my second class upper, there were first class graduates like Kara that could've gotten such offers before I would be considered, so I knew Kara had pulled some strings behind the scenes.

I was grateful for this, more than grateful in fact.

During my interview back then, I was impressed by Giuliano's professionalism. Not only did he not act like he knew me— since I was Kara's bestfriend and all, he also later commended me on my portfolio, making me certain he had read my files. After all, I studied economics so I wouldn't have gotten the job offer of a fashion expert if the company hadn't seen my works online.

Things were beginning to go well, and I was slowly healing.

*

I smilingly replied the security guard that greeted me while pulling open the large glass door of the building for me to walk past him.

I had just had an interview with the director of the Xpress company, which was a story writing platform.  When I received the mail from them two nights ago, I couldn't believe it. It had always been my dream to gain recognition for my works. But I'd been worried because I didn't know they had an office in Italy.

The HR then made me know when she called to confirm my interview status, that my location was quite close to their office, so I wouldn't have to conduct the interview online.

Heaving a deep sigh of contentment, I stepped out into the shining sun and slid my phone out of my bag to dial my good friend's number.

Walking to my car, I unlocked it and got in, shutting the door.

"Hello, my beautiful princess." Declan's voice said dotingly and I could practically visualize his warm gaze even though we were miles away from each other.

I cringed. "My dad must not hear you calling me that, Declan."

"Yeah yeah. That's his exclusive pet name for you, I know. How was it?"

"I think I aced it." I put the phone on speaker and dropped it on the center console. 

"No shit! Of course you'd ace it. Give me the details, I need more than those five words." He told me just as I turned on the ignition and slowly started driving out of the park, checking to make sure the coast was clear beside and behind me.

"I'm waiting for 'the call'. It looked promising though, from the way I presented my gig to the director. He was so excited that I felt some deja vu in there. Heh. I'll probably be hearing back from them soon."

"Soon like...when?"

"Soon like within three days." I giggled.

"Yes!" He chuckled. "Great. Are we clubbing when I come around? You know, to celebrate the job you obviously just got? Not like you're not getting paid in your nine to five job."

I rolled my eyes. "No. We are not clubbing. Instead, I'm going to visit Kara and catch up on things. I owe her a damn visit. And you know I have a passion for writing, so I'd be more than glad to work with the Xpress company. It's freelance so I can do it during the weekends."

"Oh. Well I guess we'll do the clubbing another time then. Lola says hi."

"Speaking of Lola, how is she? How's the progress of our plans over there?"

"She's fine. She has just been focusing on school for the past few weeks. By the way, she still thinks you're taking her for a regular outing next weekend and doesn't know-"

"Declan! Shush! What if she's right behind you, you monkey?" I whisper yelled as if Lola could hear me. Daniel was planning a surprise proposal and he would be proposing in a few weeks.

At the moment, he felt it would be good to make some more planning and preparations so the proposal would be memorable for her and since I wasn't at home to do all that was needed, I'd made Declan handle them.

So far, he was doing a hood job. Except, he couldn't seem to keep his mouth shut.

"Oops. I get. Sorry. Shit, she just got back into the kitchen. Let's talk later." He muttered the last words in hushed whispers and we exchanged goodbyes before he ended the call.

I wondered if it would be a good idea to visit Kara right now, since she would be at work and probably wouldn't have time ti chat much with me.

Even though I missed her and we'd only seen each other a handful of times this year, I still turned my car around and headed back to Alfonsi entertainment.

*

Kara had been on my mind for a few days now. Even though I wanted to visit her, I felt reluctant because I had put a distance between us ever since the miscarriage happened. She still didn't know, I'd forbade Diego to tell her. Which made me a little guilty because she always told me everything.

Still, I found it hard to visit and then act like I hadn't distanced myself for the past year.

But at least I could call her, right?

I got up from my room and walked to the kitchen to find something to munch on. My dad settled six months advance payment for this apartment, where I'd stay till I figured out if I liked it here or if I'd be moving back to New York for good.

So far, I had spent five months here, from February till now and I didn't think I'd be leaving here soon, contrary to the agreement I made with my dad.

I randomly grabbed a pack of popcorn and trudged lazily to my sitting room, lying on the couch and changing the channel to my horror files.

After a few minutes, I sighed and picked my phone to dial Kara.

She picked on the first ring. "Hello s
stranger."

"Kara. Hey, how have you been?"

"You know, here and there. Since you abandoned me, I've been living my life to the best of my ability." She stated playfully but I didn't miss the sadness that laced her words.

"I'm sorry. I've just been really busy."

"Yeah yeah. Mama keeps asking of you, I give her the same excuse you just gave me."

I paused for a few seconds, then lightly asked, "How is he?"

"Do you want to hear the truth or should I just say something?" She asked instantly as if she'd been waiting for me to ask about him.

"The truth." I stated and bit my lower lip, proceeding to dust the popcorn crumbs at the corners of my lips.

"Well, he's been distant. He doesn't come over much because he's also currently training in their company at California and has been back and forth these this year. And even when he visits us, he spends his time staring at my mama cook or just staring at her do random things at home. Like he's lost. He rarely speaks to anyone anymore, except mama. Then he leaves after some hours. I heard his dad isn't doing too well and he might be relocating since the company will automatically and officially be handed over to him."

I gasped. "Leaving for good?"

My eyes watered as the suddenness of her words made my heart clench. The pain hit me so bad that I sat up with lightening speed, making the bowl of popcorn on my thighs tilt.

"Hmm. Nothing is keeping him here anymore. His words, not mine." Kara explained while I picked what had poured on my thighs.

"Jesus." I groaned, wondering if he'd really moved on. I only needed some more time...

"I know it's not in my place to ask but what could've happened that made you guys punish yourselves so much? Is it worth it? Can't he relax himself a little? It hurts me to see you both this way, Adrian-"

"Wait, he's punishing himself? What does that mean?" I was the one at fault here, I should be the only person going through all the pain and punishment. What did that have to do with him?

"Yes Adrian. Stephano has complained about him overworking and becoming a robot on duty. It's good to apply lesser emotions once in a while due to their line of duty but that's not who Diego is. He has some stomach issue but under my instructions, his assistant has reported to me that he starves himself constantly. Coupled with that, he now sometimes gets drunk. I feel helpless on how to help him."

"Oh God." I moaned in disbelief. Diego was a sensible drinker, not an alcoholic.

He'd even scold me whenever I took more than a few shots because he hated the idea of overdrinking in general.

When did he become like this? I bit my lower lip because that answer wasn't far from me. It was the issue that occurred that must've caused this. He blamed himself for some reason.

Kara continued, "The other day when Stephano invited him for a casual drink to discuss some company work, he got so drunk and he kept talking about how it was all his fault. He kept rambling about how he should've not come if what happened would've been avoided."

Tears welled in my eyes. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"Hey. It's okay. It's not your fault, I know you must've had your reasons for breaking up with him." She soothed but that didn't stop the searing pain from digging deep into my heart.

She couldn't understand. It was my fault, not his. My recklessness and unobservant nature to my body's needs led to the miscarriage.

But the fog in my head cleared a little when I processed Kara's words.

"What? I didn't breakup with him."

"Wait, you didn't? That means he broke up with you then?" She asked in confusion.

"No. I mean, I told him I needed some time. We didn't break up, we were just, kind of apart."

"Well shit." Kara cursed. And one thing about Kara was that she never cursed. "What the hell Adrian? Seriously? You guys separated last year."

"Are you upset with me?" I mumbled guiltily as the tears started flowing down my cheeks again.

The hurt I'd tried to bury all these while surfaced again in my heart, making me groan as the pain spread through my chest.

"Well, maybe a little, though I know it's your relationship and I shouldn't be too involved in it. But seriously, you guys are going through all this because you said you need some time? It's been almost a year, Adrian." Kara scolded.

"I..had some issues. We both did." I played with the pendant on my necklace, fiddling with mine and Diego's name on it. Then I got up and paced about.

She sighed. "Can I ask a personal question?"

"Yeah. Sure." I shifted from one foot to the other nervously.

"Do you love him?"

"Yes. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone." My response was instant. Even though I once held strong feelings towards Lucas, he was now in my past and the Lucas I knew wouldn't want me to live miserably, mourning him forever.

It was time to fully move on and let nature take its full course.

And Diego was my future. I loved him immeasurably.

The thought of never being with him again made tears fall down my cheeks.

"Then let him know, please. If you still do, let him know. You're both suffering because of this. If you already fell out of love, I think he also deserves to know this. And since you're still very much in love with him, please put yourselves out of the misery."

"It's high time I do that." I nodded in determination, though the fear spread through me at the fact that it could very well be too late. I'd been too invested in getting a stable life and mental health that I didn't take Diego's feelings into account

Thank God." She heaved a deep sigh. "I'll look forward to the good news, hopefully it'll come soon."

"I hope so."

We chatted a bit more and I laid back down after we ended the call, the episode of my favorite show long forgotten as I wondered what would become of my relationship.

If anything still remained, anyway.