Author's pov:

"How can we be in this situation.. Again?!" Niv slammed her hands to the table while panting heavily. "Darling.. Snow's being searched.. Like Spitfire" Stoker sighed deeply while going through everything they had got so far from their daughters, which wasn't much. Spitfire's files were empty and there wasn't much to say about Snow's file either. The Information was mostly about what Carbine had told the soldiers about what had happened during the evening the little princess had got kidnapped. There were Adira's statements too, but it was mostly the same as the brown furred male's niece's. That got not only the lost daughters' mother frustrated, but also their father too.

"It is not enough, Stoker!!" Niv shouted while sobbing. Her body was trembling as she looked at her husband with an expression that first looked like she was filled with anger but soon he noticed that she looked more scared which got him to place the files onto the table, get up from his seat and walk around the table to his wife. "Niv.. Darling.. Come here.." Stoker opened his arms which got Niv burst out crying as she ran to his arms. "Our daughters, Stoker! Our daughters! Both of them!!" Niv cried against his chest. Stoker sighed deeply and hugged her while placing his jaw on her head, this time not facing her long mohawk there at all. She had kept cutting her hair to a short crop style that she didn't need to style at all. She hadn't even colored the red stripe there yet again, so her hair was completely in her own snow white color. Stoker had never seen her treating her hair like that during that soon over 30 years of knowing each other. She had always been very precise about how her hair should look like. And that got him even more worried about his wife.

"I know.. I'm terrified too, Niv.. But they will be found.. Just like you found Harley" Stoker said while lifting his hands from her back to her shoulders to look into her green eyes. "No.. I don't want to find them like I found my sister.. Chained in a poisonous cave.. No.." Niv growled even to a thought of that which made Stoker lean his forehead against hers. The Next he lifted her jaw up a bit to place a gentle kiss on her lips. It got her to drop down her ears while still crying when she kissed him back. "I didn't mean that.. What happened to Harley was horrible. Mace, Dan.. Whoever he truly is, will be punished. And it's all because of you, Niv. You brought him back to face justice. Many would have left him there to die.. Including yours truly.." Stoker growled but then he rubbed her cheek gently after she had turned to look at the open files on the table.

"Yours truly.. You are probably the only mouse on Mars that makes formal things sound also quite romantic.." Niv chuckled while reading, which got Stoker laugh and whip some his own tears away that had been rolling down his cheeks too when they hugged. "Ain't that one of those things you fell in love with me?" Stoker smirked while leaning against the table with his arms behind his back, on the table. "I'm not admitting anything.." Niv smirked while swinging her mechanical tail the way Stoker could tell he was right but she just didn't want to say it out loud. "Your tail tells me other things.." Stoker grinned which got Niv to laugh before she slapped his side with her other fist. "Hey! Don't! You still have those stitches on your side.." Stoker coughed and smirked to her which got her only to chuckle and roll her eyes. "With stitches or not, I can show you your place, 'Ker" Niv kissed his cheek, making Stoker blush a bit and wrap his own mechanical tail around hers. "I know.. But like I said. Spitfire and Snow will be found, especially when we both have taken the lead on this case.." Stoker said which got her smile and nod, even if he saw her being clearly in pain, like he was too.

"I wouldn't let anyone else lead this than us.." Niv said before turning back to look at the files. "And no-one steps on the crown princess' feet.." Stoker chuckled while looking at Spitfire's file. There was a hand written text "Dead or alive" with a big question mark following it, but when Niv saw him looking at that, she grabbed a pen and stroked through the text of dead and underlined the text of alive. "Exactly.." She said sharply and after that she handed the files back to him before taking her leather jacket from the seat's backrest to leave from the base's office. "Where are you going?" Stoker asked while looking at her tying the jacket's sleeves around her waist. "To the highly secured prison hospital. Are you coming with me or are you staying here to read those over and over again?" She said while making sure her huge golden necklace was right on her chest. She was wearing a light purple top instead of her dark red or black ones since the doctor had advised her to wear something light colored as possible under the leather jacket to see early enough if her side was bleeding through the bandages.

"You know there ain't much to read but there we could do something to get closer to our daughters.." Niv continued, making him nod and lock the files into his secured locker in the general's office where they got early in the morning. "Fine.. And as much as I'd like to tell you to put that jacket on since we're going there, I know you do just like you want yourself.." He sighed, making her laugh a bit. "None of those prisoners will go through my husband.." She winked at him, making him smile and lift his hand on her back. Stoker would drive them there and five highly ranked guards would take them to the cell where Dan was kept, but just before they had gone to the vehicle storage in the base, they noticed Sapphire and Jessica being heard in two other rooms. Jessica seemed calm while Sapphire was more nervous since unlike her sister, she was kept there more and the soldiers insisted on hearing her more because of Carbine's hearing.

"You need to believe me!! I did not take Snow from the base!" Sapphire shouted before seeing Stoker and Niv walking past the room towards another staircase. There was a huge window where the soldier from the corridor could see inside the room. "Niv!! Stoker! Niv, you need to believe me! I didn't kidnap your daughter!!" Sapphire dashed from her seat to the window which got the soldiers to react immediately. "Sapphire the Daughter of Jehah!" The General yelled while hurrying to grab her hands from the windows to behind her back. "Niv!! Stoker!" Sapphire cried while the princess walked past the room with her husband before two other generals dragged the chestnut furred female to sit back to the seat with martian handcuffs on her wrists.

Sapphire just cried while dropping her head down to her chest, but then she heard the door opening that made her turn to look at the comer. "Niv! I knew you would believ-" She was about to say but then saw the princess lifting her hand up as a sign to her to stop talking. "I believe you when we get our daughter back and you are proven to be innocent to the kidnapping.." She said coldly before turning to look at the three star general who led the hearing with two a bit lower ones that had just dragged Sapphire away from the window. "Princess Niv. This is an honor.." The General bowed with the two others that got her to nod at them. "I give you my permission as the crown princess to search her brain.. Do it while I'm away. For now, me and my husband have one place to go to.." Niv said without even looking at Sapphire who gasped and started to wriggle to get free. "Niv! No! Niv!!" Sapphire cried when the princess left the room, her husband following right behind her. She sighed deeply while holding her tears inside her.

"Stoker, you say something! I thought we were friends!" Sapphire shouted after them but Stoker just looked away before the door got closed after them by a soldier. They could hear her screaming inside the room which made Niv swallow deeply without turning to look at the brown furred male even if he turned to look at her. She sighed deeply before nodding at him. They headed to the staircase and next to the vehicle storage to head to the highly secured prisoner hospital. There five guards welcomed and greeted them formally after Stoker had called them about their schedule. He had informed them that Princess Niv insisted on meeting one of the newest prisoners, Dan, and after the call, the higher ranked generals made sure that the princess and her husband got well secured during their visit.

"Your assignment, Princess?" One of the five guards asked formally which caused her to cough to clear her throat a bit like it would take some of the weight from her shoulders, but it had no effect. She had felt more awful ever since she had seen her friends being heard, especially after having to give one of the most horrible commands on the whole planet, meaning the brain search. "Take us to the mutated rat.." Niv said, making the guard nod and walk them there, but during that one of them asked what had brought them there to visit one of the most dangerous prisoners, the princess just glared at them without a need of answering to them. Instead of that, she turned to look at her husband. "Stoker.. Inform the base's generals who hears Sapphire that I want to hear the results and after that I'll inform them what to do with Jessica" Niv said, making him nod before sending a message through the highly secured lines. The Guard apologized formally to the princess about the wrong choice of words of asking about their mission, making her just nod back at him.

At the cell where Dan was being kept, Niv insisted on not having the male rat stunned or put to sleep at all. Stoker stayed right behind her while she informed the guards to spread around the room with prepared guns. They did as told with Stoker's order to shoot the rat if he tried to attack them, but not with that badly that would cause his death. "Isn't it ironic, Dan.. Or Mace.. Whatever you prefer.. You ended up being chained and caged like you kept my sister for years.." Niv chuckled and growled while looking at the male that was laying on a mattress inside the cage. He had lost his other leg like his right arm, but so far he hadn't got a prosthesis to either of them since he was chained to lay down there.

"What an honor this is.. To have a royal.. The Crown princess herself.. To visit someone like me.." The Male chuckled while not even looking at the Martian female which got Stoker to growl and slam the steel door roughly with his mechanical tail. "Show respect to Her Highness!!" He shouted furiously before the loud slam got all of them to lift their hands to their ears and then Niv lifted her hand up. "Enough.. I'll do the talking.." Niv said while shaking her head a bit. The Sound of metal being slammed that hard together had made their ears ring and it took some time for them to hear normally again. "My apologies, my dear" Stoker said to her ears before walking back to his place a bit behind her. Niv looked very formal and very serious when she took a step closer to the prisoner. Or actually a glass wall that was still between them and the cage.

She looked down at the male who slowly turned to look at the princess without any kind of expression on his face. "Does it hurt? Your leg I mean.." Niv said while nodding towards his amputated leg that made him growl. "Not as much as you after losing your both daughters.." He smirked, making her growl even louder. "If I were you, I would cooperate with the princess.." Stoker growled, which only got him laughing. "Precious runner boy.. I see you took your bloodhound with you, Princess.. Why wasn't he with you at Ceres? Oh.. You didn't know where he even was, did you?" The Male grinned while Niv only looked down at him. She knew he wanted only to annoy her, and as much as he managed to do it, she couldn't show it or the situation wouldn't end up the way she wanted. Even though she would have wanted to know where he got his information..

"That's none of your business, Dan.. I am here to search your brain personally since you haven't been answering the questions the way I would have preferred.." Niv said, making Stoker's eyes widen like the guards' did too. She lifted her hand up immediately when she saw in the corner of her eye that he had turned to look at her. "Oh.. Personally? You preferred? I see.. Well.. You are welcome to my cage any time, Princess.." Dan smirked, making Niv nod to the guards, but then Stoker grabbed her other wrist. "I won't allow you to do that" Stoker said which got her to turn to look at him. "I need to. I need to see what he knows about Spitfire" She said quietly, making him shake his head.

"I'm sorry darling, my princess, my precious wife, but I don't have any other choice than to step on your tail this time. Guards. I'll do it!" Stoker announced while heading towards the steel door, leaving Niv surprised there before growling at her husband when the guards let him inside the other half of the room that was behind a huge glass wall. Inside of there was the cage where the mutated rat was held. There were fifteen guards inside the other room while in the room where Niv had to stay was that five who had walked them there and ten others too. Outside the room were twelve other guards too, not forgetting eight snipers hidden at the lowest level where the most dangerous prisons like he was held. Only for him there were nearly forty martian guards.

"Stoker!! Get back here at once!" Niv commanded while pointing down to the place right next to her with her right index finger but the guards looked at each other before locking the door between them. "For your safety, your majesty." The Main guard said, making her jaw drop down the floor. "NO!! Stoker!" Niv ran to the glass to slam her hand to it while Stoker looked over his shoulder. He didn't say anything. He just nodded before the guards opened the cage's door after making sure the mutated rat couldn't move at all. "I love you, Niv. After this we'll complete our mission" Stoker said, making her swallow the way she tried to keep her tears once again inside when she just looked at him to step inside the cage. The Guards got their guns ready while five guards got around the crown princess with loaded weapons too. They gathered around her but the way that the short female would see everything that happened on the other side of  the glass wall.

Inside the cage, Stoker walked to the rat's head while Dan was only grinning at the martian male. "Don't even think about doing anything.." Stoker said before getting down on his knees, close to the rat's head. He didn't get the answer and he didn't even look at the guards or his wife before he leaned forward and placed his antennas to the rat's forehead. Even the prisoner's tail was tied to make sure he couldn't do anything, but still Niv had a bad feeling about this. "Stoker.." She swallowed again while looking at her husband forcing the rat to open his mind to him. It was painful, but not as painful as Sapphire's had been since she had resisted it and had tried to fight back, but for some reason, the male did nothing to prevent the other male from searching his brain.

It took some time for Stoker to go through Dan's mind, but during that he could tell that Mace was really Dan after all. He saw the same memory there that he had also in his own mind, the memory of him being by Niv's side at Dan's mechanical body parts store. For some reason it was one of the easiest to see from there, which got Stoker to think something, but he couldn't think it too much otherwise the enemy would have seen it too. One sign of hesitation and the mutated rat would do anything to his mind too, if he had his antennas there too..

"Why is this taking this long?" Niv thought but didn't say it out loud to not interrupt her husband. The Guards stayed silent but ready to fight immediately if something happened inside the cage. The Whole cell was silent while the atmosphere was clearly tense. "Stoker.." Niv looked at her husband worriedly, but then one thing made her gasp loudly. That something happened, and very fast since Stoker had to close the connection but it ended up being too fast since the power of brain work got him to throw to his back on the bottom of the cage and groan in pain. "Open the doors!! Immediately!" Niv shouted when she heard the mutated rat just laughing evilly while Stoker was groaning in pain and holding his head. Something had gone wrong and badly.

"Stoker!!" Niv shouted when the guards couldn't let her inside while the others ran to help her husband. "Stoker! 'Ker!!" Niv ended up letting her tears roll down on her cheeks when she saw her loyal husband in pain on the flooring. "What did you do to him?!" Niv shouted at the enemy who just kept laughing before one of the guards shot him to put him to sleep and fast. Four guards ran to help Stoker out of there, ending up dragging him out of the cage and then carrying him to another room in the hospital where the doctor had got called already by one of the guards who were protecting the princess. Niv ran by his side when the guards carried him there, to see what was happening in his head. Dan had managed to do some damage on him, that was clear, but what was it, how would it affect him and how would he be helped, were the questions that Niv thought the most while being terribly scared if she lost one more from her family. "Not Stoker.. Goddess please.. If anything.. Please do not take my husband away from me!!" She prayed in her mind while crying in the corridor where two nurses tried to help her to calm down with the five of the guards since she had to stay outside while he was being checked by the doctor.

During the same day, Carbine had got out of the Brimstone's underground hospital with her newborn son, Felix. But without having a proper home for her and her son, she needed to move back to the military basement, this time luckily to one of the special parts of it where there were some highly ranked generals' families living in bigger rooms, specified as possible. They were the safest to live in, right after the royals' hideouts and homes. "Here we are darling.. In our new, temporary home" Carbine smiled while carrying her son in a crib. Felix was sleeping peacefully which got the black haired female sigh deeply. She was happy but sad at the same time.

"I hope I can get us a better place to live.. To call home.. Before you are old enough to form any memories.." Carbine said while closing the door behind her with her tail. She had met Harley quickly before she had left the hospital. Her best friend would have wanted to help her to move to the base, but she wasn't allowed to leave the hospital yet, which Carbine did understand. Jessica was at the hearings and Mericy and Adira were dealing with a hard time that she didn't want to bother them. Mora and others couldn't help her either because of their duties, which meant that she had got to the base all by herself.

"Home.. Home is where.. Throttle is.." Carbine started to cry after placing her sleeping son on a chair next to her bed. The Room wasn't big but the soldiers had made it good enough for a new mother and her baby, which she appreciated but it still wasn't the same as the house she and Throttle had got for their family. They had just made it their home.. They had just got back from their honeymoon, her being pregnant when he had faced his tragic end.. Way too soon.. Way too terribly..

Carbine fell on her knees on the floor while crying heavily. She tried to stay silent as possible to not wake up her son. Her son, who looked exactly like Throttle. Except he had darker hair and his eyes were a bit different. But everything else reminded her about his father. Like she had been the most afraid of. And now she had to raise him alone. All alone.. "Throttle! Throttle.. Can you hear me?!" She cried while burying her face in her hands. Her tail was curled around her ankles as a sign of being afraid. "Throttle.. Felix looks just like you.." She cried and had a hard time talking. "I.. I'm not sure.. I'm not sure how to continue without you!" She cried and her body was trembling. She felt so lonely. She felt sorrow, fear, anger and guilt.. But then, she traveled in her mind to that day. To that day when the spaceship had got from Jupiter to land back on Mars.

"Open the hatch.." Carbine had demanded while turning to look over her shoulder. She had stayed with the pilot while Throttle had ran to his bike to the vehicle storage after sharing the connection by using their antennas. She had felt a tear rolling to her cheek when Throttle had checked him being ready before he had sent her a flying kiss. Only if the enemy hadn't spotted and shot the invisible spaceship.. Only if the message from their friends had never got to them.. Only if they had never left Jupiter.. Only if.. Only if..

No. Carbine knew she couldn't be that selfish. Their friends and other citizens of Mars would have probably died back then. They had already been terribly afraid of if they didn't have a planet, a home, where to go back. But she felt it more awful to lose her husband. She could still see Throttle putting his helmet on while the pilot had got confused. She wished that she had prevented him from leaving. To go to the hospital with her. To hear the news with her. But no. She knew their responsibilities. Throttle had been one of the Biker Mice. One of the biggest and most appreciated heroes on Mars. She was definitely sure that he would never be forgotten. Never.

"What? We are barely on the safe level yet.." The Pilot had said, which had got her to slam her hand on the button. "It's tail whipping time.." She had smirked when her husband.. Her husband, who had prepared his biker's bat wings to join the fight underneath them. To join his bros for one last time. "I'll get you safe.." Had been Throttle's last words to her in the spaceship before he had left to fight, but his last words for her had been her name when he had shouted at her just before the tragic end of the tan furred commander.

"Without you heading towards the enemy.. To guard my back.. Would all three of us have joined the Goddess together?" Carbine cried while trying to understand what had happened back at that day. During one of the nights in Jupiter, the married couple had made a back up plan just in case since they both had had a strange feeling about something. Now she knew what that feeling had probably ment. Plutarkians had attacked massively and their friends and forces had to guard their home planet without them knowing about it in time. What if the message had had got them on time? Would the explosion haven't happened? Would Throttle have survived? Those thoughts Carbine knew she shouldn't be thinking, but she couldn't prevent her mind from doing it.

Throttle had been the one that had suggested the plan and she had been against it, but ended up agreeing to it. Their plan had been that she got somewhere safe and to the hospital while Throttle joined the fight. She had needed to check if she was pregnant, and if yes, she'd have stayed safe and let her husband handle the fight. Nowadays Carbine still didn't know which would have been more horrible. To be there to see herself her husband dying, or to hear it later from someone, probably from his bros. Maybe the first one, but either was horrible enough. She probably wouldn't have believed the second at all if she didn't see it herself. But what had got her to go back to the battlefield against their plan? To that moment, Carbine traveled again in her mind while crying on the floor of her and her son's new temporary home.

Carbine had just got out from the doctor's appointment when she walked along the corridor of the underground hospital. There were a few generals checking themselves too when they walked past them. She hadn't seen them at first since her mind was too busy to handle the news she had just heard from the doctor. She was pregnant. She was expecting Throttle's baby. Like they had always dreamed of. But then..

Back at that day

Carbine's pov:

"The Elite is in trouble?" One of the generals said after answering the radiophone. Hearing that got me to twitch my ears and me to slow down a bit. I had lifted my other hand on my stomach while thinking about the new life growing inside of me when I had noticed someone else being in the same corridor too with me. "Ain't that the Biker Mice?" Another general said, which got me to gulp and tighten the grip of my shirt a bit. "It is! But shouldn't they be alright dealing with Plutarkians? I mean.. They got captured once but.." Third one said while the one with the radiophone got more information through the lines. "They are fighting against the leader of the Plutarkians! Princess Niv is with them! We need to hurry! Inform all the forces that are capable of going there!! There's a major attack going on!" The General said before they started to run past me towards the exits while radioing as many forces as possible on the way. I just stayed there for a moment to think what I had just heard. Then, I realized it.

"Stilton.. No!!" I gasped while squeezing my shirt with my hand. I could feel the fabric of my shirt as much as the baby probably felt me being scared and tense, loaded with negative emotions, even if the baby was still very small there. "I know Throttle would get angry immediately when he hears that I got back to the fight while expecting you.. But.. I need to go.. I need to help your father.." I said while looking down at my stomach. I rubbed it gently before starting to run to the vehicle storage too. I wouldn't care whose bike I'd take but my husband needed help at the battlefield now. The Rest needed to wait. I'd have ten months to rest, but now Throttle needed my help.

Even if the planet's future needed to be thought too and the new life would be the most important to be protected, there would be nothing to protect if the Biker Mice lost the fight with other fighters. "Throttle.. Honey.. I'm sorry for risking our baby now, but I know you'll understand.. Just stay safe, I'll come to help you" I thought while getting a motorcycle ready in the storage before I left to drive towards the battlefield by following the other generals that left before me. But for some reason, they turned to go the other way instead of heading straight there. I understood that going to the enemy's rear was probably a better idea, or maybe there were other forces they needed to get to join them, but I couldn't wait or find that out. So I just drove straight away there. And it didn't take much time till I saw a group driving in front of me. It was princess Niv and the Biker Mice, with my uncle.

Soon I got a couple of enemies to face while the princess noticed my signal I tried to get to them through the military bike I had taken from the storage. Maybe it was for my own luck or something else, I don't know, but ever since Throttle crashed my and my uncle's second bike I had had got to use more military bikes, so driving any kind of them wasn't even a challenge to me. Those memories got me smiling before I saw an enemy about to shoot Throttle and Stoker off their bikes. "Look out!!" I shouted but they noticed it too late and ended up hitting the ground. Throttle had also knocked Vinnie off his bike and Niv and Modo had hard time defending them from the enemy. The Situation changed so quickly and it didn't look good for us.

Author's pov:

Carbine could still see their group retreating in a couple different directions, and for her and Throttle's bad luck they ended up in different groups so she couldn't tell him yet the news about her pregnancy. But then the view changed. She felt the pain all over her body like she had felt back then when she had landed on the ground after the explosion. But just before it, Carbine had been driving there at the battlefield when she had noticed Throttle dodging some shootings and turning to his left. Carbine had headed towards him while he did something with his bike's monitoring systems. She hadn't seen him smiling at her, nor the enemies that had followed her. She had had her head in the clouds during a moment she should never have.

"Carbine!!" Throttle had shouted and sped towards her which had made her happier. She needed to tell him the news and she had been quite sure there would have been even a little moment for them to stop there and change a word while others would've continued the fight since the sounds of fighting and enemies movements seemed to calm a bit for some reason. The reason Throttle had shouted at her and had tried to warn her about the enemies had been right behind her and she hadn't noticed it. Was the tragedy all her fault?!

"Throttle! I'm p-.." She had started to say while smiling at him, but then she had seen him driving past her before she finally had noticed the enemy there. She could still see the view clearly in her mind, when she saw her husband heading towards them alone. Vinnie had been heading there too, she had seen him in the corner of her eyes. Modo, Stoker and Niv had been stuck in another fight, and all she could do was just to stare at her husband for a moment to head there to the enemy. But when she had turned her bike around and started to head there too to help her husband, the most terrifying thing had happened. Something had exploded and the pressure wave had got her to fly a tens of meters up in the air. She still heard herself screaming, but the horror and nightmare had followed just after she had woken up from being unconscious for a moment.. Her husband had died..

Nowadays when she even thought that, she ended up thinking what had happened to the generals who had left from the hospital fast and radioed other forces too. Had they ended up in another fight or got hurt or something else? She didn't know. Would they.. Would Throttle have survived if there were more martians to help them? Carbine didn't care if they had been army forces or Freedom Fighters. Any help would have probably changed the result of the fight. Or at least she hoped so..

After waking up from the horrible memories, from which the beginning had been first happy, she still remembered how shocked but happy she had been when she had heard from the doctor that she was pregnant. It was really a miracle since she hadn't been sure if she would even get pregnant, or it'd be very hard after what she had gone through in her past. But now, after giving birth to her first, and probably only, son, she felt terrible. Not because of having her firstborn, but because of having to raise him by herself. She couldn't think of getting any other male to herself. Throttle was the only one for her. But could she still do this all by herself?

The Sound of a crying baby snapped her out of her thoughts and got her to turn her head to the direction of her bed where Felix had woken up and was crying in his grip. That got the light gray furred female to sigh deeply before she got up from the floor and walked to calm her son down. She wiped her tears away even if she was still crying after going through those memories again. Those memories from which she had lost for a moment, but then got them back during one night when she had seen them as a nightmare but then had remembered them being her actual memories. It had been in the middle of the night when she had been somewhere between five to six months pregnant.

"Felix.. Shh.. Mommy's here.. It's alright.." Carbine tried to keep herself calm while trying to calm her baby who sensed his mother's negative emotions. She knew he was a miracle, and she was very happy to finally have a child. She had always dreamed of being a mother. A Mother to Throttle's child. Or children if more specific. But now she was alone with their only son, and that made her more sad than happy.

"Felix, darling.. Please stop crying.. Your mother's not alright.. Please Felix.." Carbine cried while walking around the room, trying to cradle him back to sleep. She would soon feed him, but after she would maybe get a moment for herself to calm down first. "Felix.. Uh.. Please.." She begged when her son was just crying. She was praying for Throttle to help her from paradise, maybe to calm his son down, but Felix just kept crying.

She knew he was a newborn while Snow had been a bit older when she had found her from her and Vinnie's front door. She knew that the thought she was thinking wasn't right and she shouldn't be thinking that, but she still thought that. Snow had been easier than Felix. She had been easier to take care of, even if she had been her uncle's child. She had been troublesome, but Carbine had at least got her to sleep faster than her own son. Was all of this just a punishment from the Goddess? Because she had tried to abort herself after Throttle's death, or why all of the bad things were happening to her in such a short time?

"Even working in the military was easier than taking care of a baby.." Carbine sighed while trying to calm herself down from crying. Even Rimfire and Rhea had been easier when they had been little, even if she had just babysit them, not taking care of them the whole time. Was she even ready to be a mother? Was she good enough for her own son? What if she wasn't able to take care of Felix since Snow had gotten kidnapped too and she had even thought of taking her to the orphanage? Then her mind wandered to something else. "Should I go back to work earlier before maternity leave ends.. Would it be better for you, Felix? Would it be better for me.." Carbine talked to herself while finally getting her son to calm down too. He calmed down after she had stopped crying too, but he hadn't fallen asleep, she could tell that even if his eyes were closed. He felt tense, like he was waiting for.. Or feeling something..

"Throttle?" She said while looking towards the direction where she understood Felix was looking if he had his eyes open. "A.. Are you there?" Carbine gulped while trying to hold her tears back. She felt a tear rolling down her cheek again when she turned to look at their son and then back in the same direction. "Did.. Are you.. Should.. Should I go back to work earlier? Would you hate me if I go? I have so mixed feelings about everything and I.. I want my old life back!" Carbine raised her voice, causing her son to cry again which got her to lift him better in her arms while supporting his head properly.

"I'm sorry for shouting, Felix.. I'm so sorry.. Mommy's here.. It's alright.." Carbine sobbed while connecting her antennas shortly to her son's to help him to calm down. He could still sense her negative emotions, but during the connection she calmed down too while feeling her son closer to her. It helped Felix to calm down and after that Carbine fed and burped him, changed his diaper and put him back to sleep in his grip. Then the black haired general thought about her situation again. Her mind wandered back to her job, even if she was also thinking that had her husband just been there or had she just imagined that both of them had sensed something..

Either way it had been, she knew that the next thing she did wasn't right but she had to do it for her own sanity. She didn't realize herself being depressed, but it wasn't sure were her symptoms part of the depression that was followed by the giving birth or had she been depressed ever since Throttle had passed away? Was that all because of her traumatic experiences or what was happening in her mind? But she knew that if she wanted to keep her mind even a bit better or closer to her normal, she needed something from her life back. Something that she knew would help her, wouldn't it?

"I need to call there.. Sorry, Throttle.. Felix.." Carbine said while taking her phone out of her bag to call one of her superiors. To ask her job back earlier than she was supposed to..

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A/N: Credits of the princess Niv's light purple colored top in this chapter to @GeneralCarbine96 whose artwork inspired me to add the detail into this story with permission! Thank you so much!