Author's pov:

A Couple of months later, no-one had even once asked after the baby girl who had just appeared at Carbine's front door, meaning that the general had no other choice than take care of her by herself. She had taken the baby to the children's doctor too but no-one could tell her anything about who she would even be or where she had come from. Carbine had no idea why or what that even meant, but since they only knew about her name being, probably Snow, her only options were to keep the baby herself or take her to an orphanage. She had ended up keeping her, just in case the parents had left the baby to her on purpose and would come to get her later, but now she had at least some company since Vinnie hadn't come back yet either.

Even her other friends had been busy too. She had met Jessica once in a store but it was just fast and then she had got the baby to Adira for a moment. Adira had helped her a lot with Snow, but since Adira hadn't seen Stoker's and Niv's younger daughter or even heard the name, she didn't have any idea either who the baby would be. They just knew she was a very temperamental and adorable little girl. Only bigger issue with her had been that she didn't like sleeping at the time when she actually should, meaning that Carbine was already tired before her own pregnancy had even gone to the first one third.

"You made me like this.. A House mom.. For five children.." Carbine said in her dream when she had fallen asleep crosswise to her bed while the baby girl was sleeping in the crib the general had got to her own baby, but since now she had that little guest living with her, it needed to be bought earlier. "Me?! Who even wanted the children in the first place?" Throttle growled back to her while she was cooking for dinner and four children were screaming and running in the kitchen and the living room. The Tan furred male just laid on the couch while watching some television.

"I didn't ask for five.. But I still love them all! They are not accidents, they are blessings!" She said after demanding the kids to their playroom so she could hear her husband's voice better and for the children to not hear their arguing. "Then why don't you want to be with them?" Throttle turned to look at her while she was preparing the meal for them. She had just come back home from work to cook. She was pregnant with his fifth child while their firstborn was barely even five years old, meaning that the others had been born in a rather short time period.

"You don't want me to go further in my career?" Carbine asked, that had got the male to roll his eyes and lay back on his back to concentrate on the sports more. "I didn't say that.." He just growled which made her slam her other hand against the counter. "No need! I can read it from your face.. Since you are now general too, you want me to stay here so you can get higher ranked than your wife" Carbine hissed which got the male to gasp while turning to look at her again.

His eyes widened when he growled back at her. "No! Don't turn my words against me!" He raised his voice which got her to lift her other index finger up in the air as a sign for him to stop that. She didn't like their children to hear them arguing. "What words?! You just said you didn't say that!" She raised her own voice which got him to chuckle sarcastically and cross his arms. "Why are you like this?! You have always been stubborn but this is next level Carbine.." He snorted while he was looking at her coldly.

"Carry even one of these babies inside of you and then come to tell me about those hormones!" Carbine leaned against the counter while turning to look away from him. She hoped he would walk to her and tell everything was alright and he was sorry, but no. It was partly the opposite. "I'd if I could! You know that's impossible.. It's a female's job.." He sighed while rubbing his forehead. She just snorted while still looking away from him. "Like to be a house mom.." She continued his sentence that got him even more frustrated.

"I didn't say that either.." He lifted his head up to look at her. "But you meant it.." She looked at him over her shoulder and he could see her eyes were watering. "Stop.. I can't continue this anymore!" Throttle growled frustratingly which got her to turn around to look at him properly. "What? This conversation or our marriage?" She dropped her ears down and was actually afraid of the answer.

"You said it.." He said coldly before walking away. "Fine!! If you see that better then fine!" She growled at him while trying to hold her tears back. "Good!" He shouted while heading to the front door. "Good!" She shouted after him before he slammed the door after him. That loud sound got her to wake up from that nightmare while panting heavily. She sat up too fast which got her stomach in pain.

"Throttle?!" She cried while looking around the bedroom, which wasn't the bedroom that was his and hers. She was in the temporary house's bedroom and Throttle was dead. She buried her face in her hands while crying heavily. But when the pain got worse she tried to breathe calmly while leaning against her other hand and lifting the other to her stomach which had grown a little already. She felt terrible. Even if time had passed and the funerals had been some time ago, she didn't actually remember much of them. Her state of shock blocked some memories from her and had made her a completely different person. She missed her husband so much that nothing else really mattered to her. Not even her career that seemed to have gone first in that nightmare.

"I'd do anything to get you back.. Throttle, I miss you!! I'm sorry!! I didn't mean that.. It was just a nightmare.. And I hope your death was too.. But it wasn't and I can never see you again! Never get to hear you saying my name.. To hear you saying you love me.. I love you.. I love you so much it hurts!!" She cried loudly that it made the pain in her stomach so bad that she screamed because of it. For a moment she was afraid that she had miscarriage, but so far it didn't seem like it, not yet. She just cried. A lot. She wished Throttle to come back. She wished nothing more than to see him again. To hear his voice. To smell his scent. To feel him against her. But nothing of those things would happen ever again. And now she was also afraid of losing their only child too.

"Please Goddess, this baby is the only thing I have left from him.. Don't take my baby away from me.. I'd carry all of the children he gives me but.. That's not possible anymore.. I wish it would.." She started praying while caringly rubbing her stomach with another hand before lifting both to it. Even if she had tried aborting by herself when she had just found out her pregnancy and the horrible accident had happened, Vinnie had been right and if she really had managed to do it, it would have been what she would have regretted the most in her life. The Baby needed to be protected. That little one was now her everything. Everything left from him.

For her luck, Snow hadn't woken up to her crying, because she would have been too tired to take care of that little girl now too while she barely could hold herself together too. It was already a small hour and the Sun rising wasn't far anymore when she was still crying. But it took a lot of her energy, meaning that when the Sun could be seen from the horizon, she cried herself to sleep.

If someone asked for her, was she rancor or grieving Throttle, she wouldn't have been sure. She loved him from the bottom of her heart and soul, but she felt horrible that she survived from that accident too. If she had passed with him, their whole family would have been together in the Goddess' paradise. But no, for some reason she had had to survive and be part of the planet's repopulation even if it just meant losing the love of her life. She knew life could be rude and horrible sometimes but this was just simply too much..