Jonathan thought he fell in love with Weston. He was so kind to him and loved him for who he was and not for what he looked like. Weston did like the way Jonathan looked though.

When Jonathan was in the hospital after not eating meals he was miserable. Both of them were. Weston had no idea where Jonathan or his family went that morning. He was worried sick.

Jonathan stayed in the hospital overnight to rest and recover from his lack of nutrients. He made a big mistake, that didn’t even work. His mother kept telling him how, “If you go from not eating at all to eating again you’ll gain the weight faster than before.” He also remembers his mother telling him how his weight was a genetic thing meaning it was more of a struggle to lose. On his father’s side their metabolism was the worst thing. His father was on the bigger side like he. Jonathan’s mother is curvy, but that’s after having three children. Samuel was the smallest out of the three. He was tall and thin, but chubby in the face. Jennifer was a little overweight with some curves, but she’s smaller than Jonathan and she’s older than him. Jonathan always wanted a flat stomach, a thigh gap, thin arms, and no fucking back fat. The child needed to know that nobody is perfect and that he’s fine the way he is.

The next morning when the young Delirious was in the hospital a special guest came in to see him. Weston held his hand as he stared at his sleeping crush, because at the time they had only known each other for two months, but they connected instantly.

Jonathan loved Weston…

And Weston couldn’t handle Jonathan not loving him anymore.

But Jonathan wanted Evan.

“When do you think he’s going to wake up?” Vanoss questions his bearded friend. Luke gives him a worried look, “I have no idea, but hopefully soon.” They both turn to their sleeping friend. Evan’s legs bounce up and down again in nervousness. CaRtOoNz sighs, it echoes in the quiet room of Jonathan’s. He looks a Evan and notices how he stares at Delirious. His body posture is slouched, and usually he’s sitting straight up and perky. His eyes seemed to be glued onto the man. “You love him don’t you?” Luke’s voice makes Vanoss jump in his seat. He shifts uncomfortably and looks at him weirdly, “What?”

“I see the way you’re fuckin’ staring at him like he’s going to wake up any damn minute. You’re worried for him. Hell, more worried than I am. You care for him deeply. You love him Evan, don’t you?” Evan looks at his fingers and cracks them one by one. He sighs and places his hands in his lap. His sad brown eyes look to the sleeping Delirious. “For years we’ve teased each other, we’ve teased our subscribers about our relationship. I learn that he’s in pain, mentally and physically, and I rush down here for him. I finally see his wonderful face, and realize he’s ten times better in person, then he fucking chases down my train and kisses me in front of multiple people… Yes I fucking love him.” A sly smirk comes across the bearded man’s face. He watches the redness from Evan’s face slowly disappear.

Luke eventually nods off into a deep sleep. Vanoss still sits and watches his sleeping friend. He ignores the yawn and the grogginess in his eyes. Without waking CaRtOoNz up, he scoots his chair closer to the bed. Once he sits in the chair he slowly and easily places his head onto Jonathan’s soft chest. The tan hand slides down the bed and his fingers trace over the pale hands of Delirious. Eventually Evan falls asleep listening to Delirious’s breathing and the heart monitor along with it.

Sweat drips off the forehead of the 10th grader as the whistle echoes in the gym. The blue eyes follow the ball as he throws it into the air and hits it over the net. When the ball gets to the other team, they disappear. The ball drops and bounces away on the other side of the court. The child looks around and notices his team is gone too. The crowd is gone. He’s the only one in the gym; or so he thought. The ball disappears and the lights go out and quickly flick back on. Different spotlights turn on. One in front of him catches his young eyes. “Weston!” The young brown-haired, sun-kissed, boy stands with the ball in his hands and smiles, “Looking for this?” Jonathan starts to walk toward the ball, but then another spotlight appears a few feet beside Weston. An asian boy with very shaggy, black hair stands with another ball. He laughs and the voice sounds familiar, but two tones down from the grown man Jonathan knew. “Evan?”  He gives a cheeky smile and throws and catches the ball, “Come and get it!” he teases. “Where am I? Why do I have to choose?” Jonathan panics and both children disappear.

Again Evan and Weston appear, but they’re both adults. Evan throws the ball up and bumps the ball to Weston. Weston sets it and Evan spikes it into Weston’s face. The both turn to Jonathan; who is also grown into an adult. “Are you going to choose Jonathan?” They ask in sync. Their sneakers squeak against the gym floor of Jonathan’s high school. “Why do I have to choose? Something bad is going to happen to one of you. What am I choosing for?”

"Who do you love, Delirious?” Evan questions as he sets the volleyball in the air to Weston. He returns the spike into Evan’s forearms. “Oh, I know!” The two other men suddenly disappear once again and Jonathan is left in darkness.

Little spotlights again shine on two grown men; Evan and Weston. “Hit the ball to whoever you choose to love Johnny,” Weston purrs and gives a smug look to Evan. Jonathan knew who he was going to choose.

All of a sudden a volleyball bounces in front of him. He grabs the ball and bounces it himself a few times. He takes a deep breathe and looks at Weston. “I’m sorry,” he states before setting the ball over to Evan. The lights flicker on and off again.

Jonathan is now passing the ball back and forth with Evan. Jonathan laughs as Evan hits the ground trying to get a low ball. As the asian chases after the ball Jonathan notices a person watching in the bleachers. His hair is a platinum blond, and from a distance it looks like he has a piercing in his nose. In the gym lights his face is glistening with tears. Evan notices Delirious staring and questions him, “Who’s that?” Jonathan turns back to Vanoss, “I have no idea.”

Jonathan’s eyes slowly flutter open and adjust to the bright lights of his current environment. He goes to shift in his bed, but realizes there’s something on him. The last thing he remembers is kissing Evan and… falling to the ground. His hand is warm, why is it warm? The blue eyes travel down and notices another hand on his. His gaze moves up the red sleeve of the leather jacket and to a sleeping owl. A smile appears across the pale face of the clown and his other hand rubs the weirdly soft hair of Vanoss. “I wonder what conditioner he uses,” he wonders out loud. A loud noise scares him. It sounds like someone trying not to laugh, but laughing through their nostrils. He knew only one man who laughs like that. “Luke?”

“Did you really just ask yourself what kinda shampoo does Vanoss use?” His friend holds his gut as he laughs. “I hate you CaRtOoNz,” Delirious spats, only to make him laugh even harder. The laughing makes Evan shift on Jonathan’s chest, “Shh! You’re going to wake him up!” Jonathan whisper-yells at Luke. “I’m sorry,” he whispers back and calms himself down. The two stay silent until a nurse pops into the room, “I’m glad you’re awake Mr. Dennis!” She cheers and immediately regrets it once she spots Evan, “Sorry,” she whispers and continues, “You have a special guest here to see you. After he leaves we’ll check your vitals and such. Then the doctor will explain what happened and what to do next, okay?” Jonathan felt a little uneasy, “Shouldn’t he do that before I see someone?”

“Yes, but he’s busy right now. One guest shouldn’t hurt,” the nurse reassures Jonathan. The nurse walks out of the room and gestures inside, “He’s in here, sweetie.” When the guest walks into the room Luke stands up like a bodyguard. “Weston?! What the fuck are you doing here?” Jonathan panics; this is the guy he saw in his dream! He has no idea who he is. Delirious squeezes Evan’s hand to wake him up. Weston frowns at this action. He tries to act like he didn’t see it, or that it cut him deeply, “How are you feeling Jonathan?” Evan glares at Weston, “What the hell are you doing here? He doesn't want you here!” Jonathan grabs onto Vanoss’s upper arm and pulls him close. The monitor of Delirious’s starts to get faster as he gradually panics more. “What’s wrong Delirious?” Vanoss questions and places his hand on top of Jonathan’s hand on his arm. Breathing gets faster and faster. Sweat starts to slide down his face. “Jonathan, are you okay?”

“No! No! I’m not! I don’t know who he is!” Jonathan screams and everyone in the room gasps and turns to Weston. Tears don’t hesitate to pour out of the brown eyes that were with Jonathan in high school. The eyes that loved staring into those blue eyes. Those light brown eyes were now replaced with darker brown eyes.

***