Jonathan was always a nervous person at first. He’d be very quiet and would always have his head down. He’d bite his lips and bounce his leg. When he was around Weston all of these things happened. Mainly at first when they would hang out every once and a while, but as soon as they both noticed signs that they liked each other all of these nervous habits disappeared.

“Hey Weston!”

“Jon! Hey!”

“You needed to talk to me?” The young boy rubs his arm as he awaits his crush’s answer.

“Yeah, let’s just play video games for now. I got a bunch for Christmas! There’s this one called Silent Hill 2 you should try!”

“Aight let’s go!” The boys make their way upstairs. Like it was explained before, that’s when Delirious had his first kiss, but the conversation afterward was different.

Weston finally pushes away from the kiss and slowly opens his brown eyes, “I like you,” he finally says; his lips trembling. “Why?” Is the first word that comes out of the young clown’s soft lips. “I’m fat,” he states and looks down at himself. The older boy grabs his chin, “That doesn’t matter,” Weston answers. They both smile. “I find you very attractive, plus you’re funny and like a billion of other things.”

A few nights later the boys lay on the roof right outside Weston’s window. The younger boy lays on the stomach of the older one. Weston runs his fingers through the shaggy hair of his boyfriend, making Delirious smile and close his eyes in delight. “What do you wanna do?” Weston pretty much whispers. “I want to hear you explain to me why you’d ever like me,” Jonathan demands and sits up on his elbows and turns to his boyfriend. Weston smiles, “Gladly.” He then gestures for Delirious to lay onto his stomach again. “You’re laugh,” Weston gives a cheeky smile as he stares up at the stars. “The way your eyes sparkle when you’re explaining a new video game to me. Everytime your face turns red when I flirt with you. Your soft lips. Your painted nails. The way you roll up your sleeves on your hoodie when you’re getting pissed at a video game,” Weston pauses and laughs. He feels Delirious chuckle as well. For the rest of the night they stay up and talk and occasionally make out.

Delirious loved Weston, but Weston didn’t love him as much as he loved his career.

Early in the morning, Jonathan’s phone vibrates and the light illuminates in his room. He groans and looks at the message. His eyes ache from the brightness. The clown reads the notification and jumps out of bed. He runs out of his room and bangs on the guest room door, “Evan! Evan! I got a match!”

Inside the room, Evan groans at Delirious. He’s not mad that someone matched with Delirious, but he’s not happy either. “Holy fuck! He wants to go out tonight!” Evan groans even more. He rolls over in bed and cuddles with his pillow. He slowly falls back asleep.

Delirious sneaks into Evan’s room. He stops when he’s realized that his friend has fallen asleep again. Jonathan stares at his sleeping posture and the way his face his mashed up against the pillow; like a sleeping toddler. A warm feeling consumes Jonathan as Evan rubs his face into the pillow even more. Suddenly the clown’s phone vibrates. He looks down to see a message from CaRtOoNz saying, “What the fuck are you doing?” Jonathan snaps his head toward the door and shamefully walks out of the room.

Luke grabs Delirious by the shoulders, “Where you just watching Evan sleep?”

“No,” he lies straight through his teeth. CaRtOoNz sighs, “If you like him Delirious you should probably stop the whole Grindr thing.”

“I don’t like him. He’d never like me back anyway,” the raccoon frowns, but then perks up again, “I got a match!”

“What?! Who? When?”

“Tonight! And his username is silentwestern. He plays video games and loves music. He also lives around here, and has grown up in the same town as me in North Carolina. Isn’t that neat?” Luke looks a little curious, “Can I see a picture of him?” Delirious shows him the picture of a man with tan skin, dark brown eyes and platinum blond hair, like it was just bleached. He also has a septum piercing.

“Neat,” CaRtOoNz states and looks at Delirious and he notices something, “Why the hell ain’t you using your crutch?”

“Well, I was so excited, plus I’m getting better, obviously. I can use my phone without getting a headache.”

“And you can see every word clearly?” Delirious looks down at his phone and just like a magic word Luke said, the clown suddenly couldn’t read the words. His head started pounding. “Ouch, my head…” Jonathan stumbles backwards. Luke grabs him before he falls down the steps. He gives him a warning glance, like a mother looking at her daughter before going on a date with some new dude, “Do you really think you can go on a date tonight?”

“I want to Luke,” the raccoon whines. Luke frowns, “I know you do, but you physically can’t.”

“What if I’m better by tonight Luke? Please.” CaRtOoNz stares at the pleading Delirious. He tries his best not to look into his puppy dog eyes. “Fine, but I’m going to text your boy about your current conditions,” Luke demand. A sigh is released, followed by a, “Okay.”

Later on the guys sit in the dining room of Delirious’s, they chat about how tonight might go. “So, are you guys gonna help me pick out my clothing?” Jonathan questions. Evan takes another mouth full of Chinese food and looks to Luke for an answer. Luke takes a swig of his soda and smiles, “Welp, I’m sure Evan wouldn’t mind helpin’ ya.” Vanoss nearly chokes on the piece of chicken in his rice. “Yeah,” he chokes out and takes a drink of his water. Jonathan nods at him and continues eating. “You should help too,” Jonathan recommends to his other friend. “Actually, Luke you should help me find clothes and then Evan and judge.” Everyone silently agrees to Delirious’s terms. Evan wouldn’t mind checking out Delirious for fun.

***

Do you guys need me to italicize Jonathan's memories so you know when it switches back to reality?