“Come on Johnny!” Mama Dennis shouts from the driveway at her 7 year old son. His two other siblings ride their bikes perfectly around him. The young blue eyes stare at the long street. Could he ride it without his training wheels? “You can do it Jon!” His older sister Jennifer tries to encourage him. “You got it bud!” The eldest of the three children, Samuel, shouts. “I’m too scared to Mom!” Jonathan shouts from the end of the driveway. “How do you know? You’ve never ridden without your training wheels boy!” His mother shouts back. Jonathan sighs, she’s right. How could he know if he’s never tried it? He was also surrounded by people he loves and trusts,; they’ll be there to support him.

Only if the young clown thought about that now.

The little legs push off and survive on the bike perfectly. His family cheers behind him as he rides back and forth on their street. He smiles a bright smile as he calmly rides his bike back to his driveway; rocks popping under the bike from the pressure.

He did it! With his family by his side! For now on Jonathan was going to try things. New things.

Jonathan totally didn’t try anything new. He couldn’t even show one of his closest friends his face.

Evan stands down stairs and examines a few of Delirious’s collectables. He hears the steps creaking and turns around to find CaRtOoNz. “Oh, Luke! How’s Delirious-?” Evan immediately focuses on the person walking behind Luke. His piercing blue eyes glance at Evan and then turn away. His dark brown hair is noticeably played with his fingers. His head is shaved on both sides, except for the stuff on the middle of his hair. His eyes were the best to Evan, but what really killed the owl was the smile. The clown nervously smiles and adorable dimples pop out on both sides of his cheeks. He wanted to go up and squeeze the hell out of him.

Delirious does jazz hands, but Evan doesn’t respond. Luke smiles, “Holy shit.”

“What?” Jonathan questions and uncomfortably shifts his crutch.

Evan was still mesmerized by the looks of his friend. He didn’t notice he was staring. He was taking in all the wonderful details of his face, but why?

“He’s stunned. In a good way,” Luke states and gestures toward their feathered friend. Jonathan stares into the brown eyes of his friend’s; wondering why the hell he’s staring. “Evan?” The first name of the younger man echoes in his head. Vanoss finally snaps when Delirious hits him with his crutch. He smiles, this killing the clown; pay back.

“You look amazing,” Vanoss admits and doesn’t realize what he’s just said. Jonathan’s heart melts. This is the total opposite of what he thought Evan was going to do, or say. The clown’s face turns red, he stammers, “Th-thank you.” The living room of the clown grows quiet, as the two continue staring at each other. “Anyway!” Luke comes in for the rescue, “Woo-hoo! Another friend knows what Delirious looks like. So how about breakfast?”

“Sure,” Evan says dreamingly. Luke slaps him on the shoulder; really hard. Evan slowly turns to Luke and is faced with a straining smile. “Why don’t you talk while I find us a place to eat?”

“No, Luke-!” CaRtOoNz is already walking away with his face in his phone; ignoring Delirious. They both sigh. Jonathan makes his way to the couch and Vanoss sits right down. He shamefully watches Delirious easily sit down. “How’s your head?” The owl asks. Jonathan’s head pounds at the question. “Well,” he laughs, “it still hurts and I still get dizzy sometimes.” Vanoss nods with a small frown on his face.

“So, do you mind me asking how you got into the crash?” Evan sits Indian-style on the couch, facing his friend. Jonathan bites his lip and twiddles his chubby thumbs; he’s still wearing the big ass sweater. Should Jonathan tell Evan the truth? He could trust him right? They’ve known each other for a while now.

“I… fuck, Evan this is so much at once,” Jonathan’s voice was so soft. Vanoss has never heard the clown like this before. The friend scoots closer, “I’m here Delirious.” The teary blue eyes meet the understanding brown ones. “Part of me wanted to crash Evan,” his voice cracks and tears start to slide down his plump cheeks. Evan notices his face turning red. It must happen when he cries, the owl concludes. A tan hand wraps around the wrist of the pale clown. He squeezes until he can feel the wrist of his friend under the huge hoodie of his.

“I wanted to crash, because I hate myself. I hate the way I look and…” he inhales a jagged breath, “my weight,” he nearly whispers. Evan squeezes his wrist. That’s why he fucking asked you about exercise you dick, but what did he do that morning that he couldn’t tell you about? The owl thinks deeply about his poor friend. Evan watches each tear slip from the soft blue eyes. He’s not alright Evan, do something. “I’m sorry Delirious. I am, and personally, I don’t give a fuck about weight. You look-”

“No shit you don’t care. Look at you,” Delirious sobs. He rubs his eyes with his pallid hands, making Evan’s hand slip from his wrist. Vanoss frowns, he made it worse, he made it about himself. “Fuck, Delirious! I’m sorry!” Vanoss tries grabbing his wrist again, he’s never touched anyone so comfortably before. “Delirious I fucked up, please stay sitting. You can’t be walking around a lot anyway. You might fall over,” Vanoss orders with a worried look. Jonathan stays, but doesn’t talk or look at Evan. The two stay silent and wait for CaRtOoNz.

A sigh from the clown breaks the silence, “You said I look amazing. Is that true? Or were you just trying to make me feel better about myself, because Luke told you about my bullshit?” Jonathan has his arms crossed and a stern glare toward Vanoss. A petulant sigh is released from the owl, “Well, your face is amazing. Your dimples, your eyes, and God your smile. Your personality is what really ties it all together though. You’re like a little gift, and that hoodie is a ribbon away from you expressing your body, and how you don’t give a shit about what people think. You usually don’t Delirious.”

“You’re right, but that’s in video games and shit Vanoss. Real life isn’t a damn video game, and if it were I’d recreate myself in the Sims and fix this shit.”

Vanoss thinks, and finally asks, “what are you most worried about with your weight?”

Jonathan thinks, his blue eyes wandering to the ceiling fan in his living room. In the reflection of the one glass lamp he could see the figure of Evan in it. Delirious frowns and finally answers, “Getting a date. Never being able to find someone to love. Nobody loves fat people.” Evan frowns and opens his mouth to say something that would have changed Jonathan’s point of view on himself right then and there, but Evan bottled that feeling up and tucked it away somewhere.
***