Jonathan’s sister, Jenny, was there for him after he came out to his dad. After the Waffle House situation Jennifer would never leave her little brother’s side. Sam would go back and forth. Sometimes he’d stand with Dad sometimes he’d stand with Jonathan. Jonathan’s mother loved them no matter what; she didn’t care what type music they liked, what they wanted to be when they were older, what gender they liked, etc. She loved them and only cared if they were happy or not. So that meant occasionally Mr and Mrs. Dennis would get into fights over certain things. Like when Jenny started dating a boy who was too “punk” for her, as their father stated. His name is Luke. Even after Jenny and Luke split Jonathan and Luke were still really good friends, even though Jonathan was still in high school while Luke was out of school.

One time Luke invited Jonathan to one of his DJ sessions. While Jonathan watched CaRtOoNz do his stuff he wondered if Luke was trustful enough for Jonathan to tell him about his sexuality. On Luke’s break the 17 year old Delirious finally felt like it was time to tell his friend the deep secret of his. “I’m bisexual,” he says quickly and tries to run from his friend. Luke sets down his drink, “Okay? Do you like me or somethin’?” He questioned, but Jonathan knew he was just joking. “I just felt like you should know,” Jonathan embarrassingly admits. Luke laughs, “I don’t really care dude. You’re my friend no matter what gender ya like.” They hug and Luke carries on with his session. Throughout their future years together Luke would try hooking Delirious with people, but he gradually realized that Jonathan didn’t even like himself, so why would he like other people?

Luke continues to be the shoulder for Jonathan, but nowadays he needs two shoulders because he’s a big baby.

“I thought you said he was going to come out?” Evan asks CaRtOoNz as they both pick at their food, both of them suddenly not hungry. “I thought so too, but I guess he’s really hurt. Evan I don’t know what the hell to do anymore,” Luke complains and sets his fork down. Evan impatiently taps his foot and finally snaps, “Fuck it.” He pushes his plate away from himself and marches to the bathroom. He nearly rips down the bathroom door. “Jonathan?” His real name feels so weird on the lips of the owl. He searches under the stalls for the familiar black Converse of Delirious’s. He spots them in the last stall. “Jonathan, please come out.”

No answer.

“Jonathan, I’m sorry I asked that question. I just really want to know more about you, so I can help. I’m really sorry.”

Nothing.

“Delirious? Please! I’m sorry. Fuck. I fucked up again, alright?” The owl slides against the bathroom wall and waits for his friend. He thinks about how he’s felt recently, maybe Evan could sympathize with the clown. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better… I,” he twiddles his thumbs, “I’m… fuck… I haven’t even said this out loud to myself yet.” Evan breathes heavily, “I’m gay Jonathan.”

The stall slowly opens to a red faced, semi-smirking clown. The blue eyes look down and connect to the brown ones. Evan stands up and wraps his arms around the raccoon. They both laugh at each other and then make their way back out to the car.

When they arrive home Luke announces, “I’m gonna go home for a little while. Please don’t kill each other.” Jonathan slowly gets out of the car, with Evan right behind him. “Alright, see ya,” Delirious waves and makes his way to the house. Evan stays back and chats with Luke. The bearded man leans out the window, “Please take care of him Vanoss. I don’t know what you said in that bathroom, but it worked. I’ve never seen him so… relieved? I don’t know, but please don’t fight or say anything stupid. Aight? Text me if you need anything.” Vanoss nods and waves at CaRtOoNz as he backs out of the driveway. He walks into the house to spot Delirious on the couch. The clown stares at him like he’s trying to finish a puzzle. “When did you figure out you were gay?” Evan sighs at Delirious’s question. Evan thinks for a moment, “Well, at first I was so confused. So like a little after I released U-RITE, so like around the end of summer last year.”

“Yeah,” Delirious slowly nods. Vanoss continues, “Making music just gave me time to really think, ya know? And I slowly realized why I couldn’t get a girlfriend for a while; it wasn’t because I was busy with music and gaming, but because I didn’t want to date a girl, and trust me, I tried my hardest to like a girl again, but instead whatever God or Goddess above was like, “Let’s shove all the men possible into his life.” So all I’d see were magazines with men posing on them, commercials with men, ads on social media, and then they made me develop a crush on a man.”

“Do you still like them?” The clown questions and squeezes the pillow on the couch. Evan smiles, “Unfortunately, I do.” Jonathan scoots closer to Evan, “So, who is it?” He asks like a teenage girl at a slumber party. “It doesn’t matter right now. I’m kinda tired, are you?” Vanoss asks in a rush and pretends to yawn and stretch. He should have lied to Delirious, but why? He’s never been this open with someone. Vanoss wants to tell him the truth, it’s just that he and Luke are supposed to help Delirious find a date and what good would Vanoss do if he told him the truth. The truth would hold Jonathan back. Why? Because the truth is Vanoss’s crush is on the man sitting right next to him.

***