The young man walks through the hallway of his North Carolina high school.  The bell rings for fourth period as he frantically looks through his locker. He blue eyes avoiding everyone in the hallway. His books cuddle up into his not so flat chest. His not so skinny arms hide under the blue sleeves of the heavy hoodie he’s wearing in the middle of May. He’s glad school’s almost out. He didn’t like people, and people didn’t like him. Before walking into his classroom he accidentally runs into someone. They mumble “fat ass” under their breath as they walk away. The boy shakes his head and tries to ignore it. He walks into the classroom, just before the late bell rings. “You’re cutting it short Mr. Dennis,” the teacher groans and clicks his pen. Children in the class whisper, and an overthinker like the small boy thinks about all the bad things those kids are saying about him. “What a fatass, no wonder he was almost late to class.” “Why is he even in Honors Biology, he’s so stupid.” Tears threaten the blue eyes, but he was used to this. Nobody loved him, because of who he was. So he would try hiding it from everybody. He’d try starving himself, but it was so hard not to eat. His weight was also a genetic thing, so it was harder to lose.

Another negative to his life is that he’s questioning his sexuality. Who’d love a fat gay man? Who’d love a fat anything? Nobody. That’s why he’d hide forever.

After high school our young Jonathan discovers YouTube. He posts some clips of him playing Call of Duty, multiplayer, ninja defusing bombs. He’d laugh at the launches of the dead bodies, sometimes his own, because he was too late to defuse the bomb.

Before in high school Jonathan said no one would love him, but years later on YouTube he’s made friends and has millions of people who love him for who he is, because no one knows what he looks like, and they never would, because he’s fat. He’d joke about girls’ boobs a lot, and sometimes joke about sucking dick. Jonathan was bisexual, but still didn’t want people to know. You never know what people will despise you of; weight, facial appearances, tattoos, piercings, sexuality, etc. Anything you’re sensitive about in your real life shouldn’t be known on social media… Hence the reason Jonathan, known as H2O Delirious online, because no one really knows his name, unless they watched his one Q & A years ago.

Delirious is very sensitive about his weight and sexuality. Speaking of, he checks his weight this morning for no apparent reason. Hint: The sarcasm in the narrator’s voice. Every time he gets on to any of his social media he sees pictures of his friends and how… fit they are… and skinny.

In his bathroom he spots the truth telling monster in the corner of the room. He drags it out from the corner and stupidly puts it in front of the mirror. He’s surprisingly wearing a t-shirt with the TARDIS on it from Doctor Who. Light lighting bolt shaped marks go across his upper arm, on both arms. He dislikes t-shirts, especially in public, but he stays at home most of the time.

Finally, he steps onto the machine. He wiggles his pallid toes and waits for the depressing truth. He looks down at the number, still able to see the number over his gut. He sighs, “285. Fuck.” The clown frowns and steps off and pushes the machine away. He’s balancing between 200 and 300, so fucking great, right? His friends joked he was merely 145 pounds, but were they wrong. He wishes he actually weighed that much.

The chubby raccoon plops into the computer chair of his and puts in his earbuds. He turns on his microphone. Skype pops up onto his desktop, and his friend from Canada appears onto his screen. “Hey Vanoss!” The clown is his perky self again, ignoring the situation that had happened just a few seconds ago. “How’s life?” The owl questions, a smile plastered onto his face. “Wonderful, as per usual!” Delirious replies. He smiles back at his friend, even though he can’t see him smiling. Dimples form onto the chubby face of his. His blue eyes sparkle as him and his friend continue chatting online, waiting for their other friends to show up for a round of Vespucci Job. Delirious was a little anxious, because he’s never played this type of game on Grand Theft Auto yet.

On the other end of the Skype call Evan sits and stares at the black screen with the default face of a person with a perfectly circle head. Evan had no idea why his friend wouldn’t at least show his face to his own friends. Sometimes it fluffed the owl’s feathers, because CaRtOoNz knew what he looked like.

Jonathan did want to keep certain things private. Sort of how Evan tries keeping his musician life away from his gaming. Jonathan wanted to keep the way he looks away from people, Evan understood that, but what about his friends who were dying to see it?

“Do you know where everyone is? Why is it takin’ so damn long?” Delirious questions and then chuckles. Evan looks up and shrugs, “I have no idea. If you want to we can chat later until they’re actually ready?”

“Nah, it’s okay. I don’t mind chattin’,” the raccoon answers. He looks down at his hotdog fingers,  oblivious to the fact his answer just made his friend smile and blush.

“So, what’d you do this morning?” Evan questions, taking a bite of his cold pizza. Jonathan thinks back to the weight machine, “Uh, I just,  uh…”

“What?” Evan leans onto the edge of his chair, awaiting his friend’s answer. He hears his friend clear his throat. The owl has never heard this from his friend before; this quietness. Delirious was always good at starting conversations and keeping them going.

“You can tell me anything Delirious. I hope you know that,” Evan tries to soothe his “quietness”. Delirious sighs, “I can’t really tell you, not yet.” Why the fuck would you say that Delirious? Well… it’s better than lying.

This answer makes Evan bite his lips and slowly nod, “Okay. It’s okay.” Evan didn’t know asking a simple question would lead to an awkward conversation. He was now very curious as to what his friend did this morning, and why he really didn’t want to talk about it. The Skype call grows quiet as each of them stare into the screen. Jonathan finally speaks up, “Vanoss… do you work out everyday?” He slightly regrets his question, but Evan still answers, “I mean, no, who the hell would want to do it everyday? I do it occasionally I guess. Why?”

“Just wonderin’. I was trying to… uh… open up my schedule to work out even more than I do now.” Okay Jonathan, you can stop lying to your fucking friend now. “Oh, alright. Where do you work out at?”

“Planet Fitness. There’s one at the shopping center I live nearby.”

“Sweet,” Evan says and laughs, “how much can you lift?”

The raccoon cracks his knuckles, “I could probably lift you up.”

“Oh really?”

“Over my head.”

“I’d like to see that happen,” Evan teases. They both laugh for a while, “I’d love to see it happen,” Jonathan states between laughs. An idea sprouts into the head of the owl’s. What if he made a surprise visit?

Another face finally appears on the screen; Moo, and another one; Ohm. “You fuckboys ready to play?” Ohm shouts his question. “Hell yeah!” Delirious cheers, changing his emotion from before when he and Evan were chatting. Evan notices this as well, he wishes Delirious would open up to him more. For now the friends merely play games, laugh and yell at each other for content online. But the one question still floats around the owl’s mind; Should he visit?

Multiple questions fill Jonathan’s head; Should he tell Evan the truth? That he’s fat and afraid of what his army will think.

Should the clown try starving himself?

Maybe he’d get a boyfriend if he was thin…

Maybe he’d actually show his face to the world…

***

PLEASE READ THIS PART!!

So this story might not go on, I just want to see how you guys will react to it. This story is very close to home for me, because I’m pretty fat and I’m afraid that’s the reason I’ll never get a girlfriend. Because “all” lesbians are thin and fit as fuck.

So I’m just putting Delirious in my shoes, sorta. Hell, maybe he already is, but who knows? Am I right?

Now, for now until at least Capture is finished, or if I get a hella good idea and you guys love this story, I’m not going to update this one.

I love you all! (Don’t know if I say that enough)

- HoodiniClown