TW: Implied character death, blood, personal neglect ~ Ignore the Xephna

It had been four months since Lalna was killed. Four long, excruciating months. Xephos still blamed himself for everything. It was his fault that he showed up too late, his fault that he didn't warn Lalna about the incoming arrow, his fault that he could do nothing while his best friend and lover bled to death.

It had been tough on Xephos, but tougher on Sjin. Sjin had to watch as Xephos beat himself up day after day. He refused to work, refused to eat, and refused to do anything at all. The most Sjin ever caught him doing was climbing to the highest point possible to look at the stars. Sometimes he would remain up there for days, letting himself deteriorate. He didn't care anymore, and didn't care if it showed or not.

Sjin had tried everything to get Xephos to snap out of it. He offered to get food for the lad and even asked for help he didn't need on the farm, but he couldn't get the spaceman to budge. It broke Sjin's heart to see him like this; Sjin cared deeply for the man, and always had. To see what Xephos was becoming, to see him deteriorate before his eyes... It was literally driving Sjin to the brink of insanity.

The vicious cycle was broken by something Sjin had never wanted to see. His evening harvest had been interrupted by the sound of an explosion, followed by a pained cry. If it wasn't for the other voice, Sjin would have ignored it, but he knew the voice all too well. Xephos. In a split second, Sjin had dropped everything and run to the source as quickly as possible.

But he wasn't aware that he'd be too late. "Xephos!"

–

Xephos wasn't in pain. Why wasn't he in pain? He just literally exploded, but as he got a good look at himself, he looked brand new. He didn't even look like he'd lost weight, and he knew he had. Which could only have meant one thing.

Xephos had died.

"It's been a while, Xephos. Did you miss me?"

"Lalna..." Xephos turned around, almost face-to-face with the aforementioned scientist. Lalna looked like he was at the peak of his health, and he wore a smile on his face. Xephos felt tears pricking at his eyes, as he wrapped the other male in a hug. "I've missed you so much..."

Lalna chuckled, returning the warm gesture. "I've missed you too. More than you know. But it's been upsetting seeing how you've been taking care of yourself."

"It's just been so hard, and I can't-"

"Yes you can." Lalna locked eyes with the shocked alien. "You just don't want to, do you?"

Xephos looked away guiltily. "It's my fault you died, Lal-"

"Stop yourself right there and look at me." Xephos refused to comply. "Xephos, I'm telling you to look at me." Lalna gently grabbed at Xephos' chin, guiding him carefully so that their eyes met. "Nothing that happened that day is your fault. It could have easily been reversed. You can't keep blaming yourself for something you had no control over."

"But I could have warned you!" Xephos' eyes were filling with tears once more. "I can't live without you, Lalna. I just can't."

The scientist shook his head. "Xephos, I know this is hard, but you can't hang onto what isn't there. You don't have to let it end like this. You can change it, but you have to go back. You can't stay here. There is someone that is willing to help you, and to love you like I did. But you need to let me go."

"What are you... What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Sjin, Xephos. The only person who's been there for you through this whole thing. He's loved you longer than I have." Lalna nodded to himself. "He didn't step away like Honeydew when you lost the will to fight. He stood right there with you. I love you, and I always will, but it's okay. You're allowed to move on. I'll be ready when you come back at your rightful time."

Xephos nodded his understanding, and felt as if he was in a whole new light. "Lalna, I miss you, and I'll never stop loving you. But you're... you're right. I can't just stop living my life... It's not time yet. When I'm ready, you need to promise to be here waiting for me."

"Xephos, I promise. Now, there's someone waiting for you." Lalna's image began to fade.

"Xephos, come on, wake up.."

"Sjin...?"

–

Sjin had never felt more relief in his life. Xephos opened his eyes, slowly at first, and then snapping them wide open in panic. "Woah, Xephos, easy!"

"S-Sjin...?" Xephos' voice was croaky. "Where-"

"Shh, it's okay. You're back at the farm." Sjin's eyes were red and slightly puffy, a signal that he'd been crying. "You... you got creeped a little while away from the farm, and.. Oh Xephos, I thought I lost you."

"You... did. For a while, anyway..."

The farmer tipped his head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Xephos locked eyes with Sjin. "I saw Lalna. He... he looked healthy. I was healthy... I thought... I thought going to see Lalna again was what I wanted. And part of me still thinks so, but I know it isn't what I want. Not yet."

"What made you change your mind?"

"Lalna told me... he told me that.." Xephos felt himself choke. "That it was okay for me to let go. That I couldn't just pause my life because he passed away. I love him, Sjin, and I always will, but.. I want to start over. I want to live again."

Sjin smiled. "That's certainly good to hear. I'm glad you-"

"I'm not done yet." Xephos smiled through his pain. "Sjin, you've done so much for me. Do you think... Do you think you could help me live again?"

Warm feelings flooded over Sjin, and he couldn't help but smile warmly at the spaceman. He got lost in his thoughts for a moment, and only broke out of it when he saw a concerned look from the spaceman. He knew that it would take a while to heal Xephos, but it would be worth it. Everything would be worth it.

"Yes of course."

Credit to xyrnystheenderqueen on tumblr