TW: Mention of Blood, Alcoholism, Implied Death, Angst

Roses are red

It was April 12th and today marked Alex and Chris' third year anniversary. Chris stirred a little before opening his eyes slightly to see his boyfriend lying next to him, curled up under the covers. He turned over, checking the time on the alarm clock which sat upon the small bedside table. The digits on the clock flickered 10:31, signaling that it was high time they both woke up. Chris looked over at Alex, leaning a little closer to press a kiss to his temple. Alex snuffled slightly in his sleep before scrunching up his face, his eyes opening soon after. He smiled sleepily at the sight opposite him as he lifted a hand to cup the others face.
"Happy anniversary" He whispered, his voice thick with sleep, sitting up slightly so he could bring the other in to a kiss.
Chris smiled as he kissed back, his hand searching the sheets for Alex's to hold.
He held his hand tightly as the kiss deepened a little before Alex pulled away.
Chris studied his features as he did. The bags under his eyes showing that last night must have been the first decent nights sleep for a while. He lifted his thumb to trace under his eyes, looking into cornflower irises of his partner.
"Are you feeling any better?" Chris asked, receiving a small nod from Alex.

Jump back two months or so to February.
Alex's mother had passed away and with his father being all too unwilling to accept him, Alex had effectively lost his closest family.
The death of his mother had hit him bad, he had kept clear of alcohol for a year or so prior but since then, he had been drinking heavily and Chris couldn't do anything because Alex wouldn't let him. Alex wouldn't let himself out Chris through any unnecessary pain.
He hadn't been sleeping properly either. It was mostly drunken nightmares that we're keeping him from sleeping.

Chris turned side ways, dangling his legs off the side of the bed before letting his feet hit the cold oak wood flooring below. He stood up, padding across the floor towards the door.
"Come on sweetheart" He gestured for Alex to follow him, holding his hand out.
It took a while for Alex to let go of his linen home, where he could hide away from the outside and not have to face anything.
He soon stood up, rubbing his eyes as he moved towards Chris, taking his hand.
"I love you" His whispered as they descended the stairs together.
"I love you most" Chris replied. He would always say the same reply.

When they made it downstairs, Alex shuffled into the kitchen, his body still not fully awake. He took out two mugs and started to boil the kettle as he felt two arms snake around his waist, kissing peppering his shoulder blades.
"Chris, that tickles" He laughed slightly as he squirmed under Chris's kisses.
"I know" The other replied as he took his arms away and stood on his tip toes to kiss the others neck lightly.
"I'm going to get ready for work, okay?" He asked as he pulled away, retreating back upstairs to change. Alex nodded as he departed, leaving Alex to make the teas.

Violets are blue

He placed the mugs beside each other, placing a tea bag in each and the filling them up with the boiling water. He added three sugars to Trotts before adding the milk to both and taking the tea bags out, stirring each carefully.

Alex leant haphazardly against the counter, sipping his tea as he heard footsteps coming lightly down the stairs, approaching the kitchen.
Chris smiled as he waltzed in gently, taking his tea, leaning up the kiss Alex's cheek before residing next to him.
"I'll be back at 2 okay? Anniversary dinner tonight?" Chris suggested as Alex looked down at him, smiling sweetly, dimples appearing either side of his smile.
"Sounds perfect, buttercup" He replied as he put his mug to the side, lacing an arm around Chris's waist before kissing him softly.
Chris pulled away quickly as he felt his phone buzz, laughing lightly.
"Alex, love, I have to go, I'll see you later okay?" Chris said as he leant over to kiss Alex's cheek once more and then turned away, heading towards the doorway.

Alex waited until he heard the door click, indicating that Chris had left the apartment, before heading towards his study. He waited outside momentarily before unlocking the door, stepping inside tenderly. The room was lined with old bookcases with hundreds of books all leaning against each other. In the corner was an old record player with vinyls resting against it.
Alex took a sharp intake of breathe before exhaling slowly, sitting down beside the player and selecting a record.
He waited until Joni Mitchell's voice filled the study before he stepped away to the safe just beside his desk which resided in the opposite side of the room.
Alex knelt down, his knees pressed against the soft fabric of the carpet below him.
He entered in the code 12-04-12, the date of their anniversary, a date he could never forget.
Inside the safe was something he'd vowed to stay away from.
A bottle of Jack Daniels laid in his midst, beckoning him to drink.
"Fuck it" He whispered as he looked at his watch, Chris wouldn't be back for another six hours or so. He unscrewed the cap of the bottle, moving back to lean against the book shelf.
Alex rubbed his eyes harshly before taking a swig of the drink.
He felt the alcohol burn the back of his throat, the feeling almost welcoming as he put the bottle to his lips once more.

Whiskey costs less

He was sad.
How ever the fuck Chris managed to stay with him for three years was unclear in Alex's eyes.
He was nothing, Chris was everything.
The ginger sat there, slumped against the bookshelf as the record played beside him. Tears trickled down his cheeks as he bought his knees up to his chest, embracing them as if they were a barrier.

The contents of the bottle depleted as the hours went by until it chimed two, Alex's watch buzzed lightly as an indication that Chris was meant to be home any minute.
In a drunken haze he stood up and stumbled towards the safe, attempting to hide the bottle in the safe.
He heard the front door open and Chris call out for him.
"Smith, I'm home!"
He started to panic, the feeling rising throughout all his body, he tried to cram the empty glass bottle into the safe once more, shattering it against the side. Shards of glass fell almost immediately into the floor. Alex's first instinct was to pick up the pieces, thus cutting his palms in the process.
"Alex! I said I'm home"
He heard Chris's footsteps ascending the stairs, his partner still calling out for Alex. Alex was still panicking as he managed to fumble the safe shut, curling up on the floor; trying to hide.
The sound of Joni Mitchell's voice came to an end and so did Chris's calling.

Chris looked in the doorway to Alex's study, greeted by an incredibly unwanted sight. His eyes widened as he took a step in, the whimpering from Alex grew louder as he heard the other step in the room.
Chris looked around, surveying what had happened. He noticed the unlocked safe and the smashed bottle.
"Alex..?" Chris asked cautiously, the scratch of the record making simple background noise.
Alex looked up, his eyes bloodshot and his voice sore.
"I'm sorry" He managed to say as his cut palms trembled slightly.
"Chris I'm sorry for being so shit" Alex cried, his words slurred but genuine.
Chris ran forwards, enveloping Alex in a tight hug, kissing the top of his head. Tears formed in Chris's eyes as he clutched his boyfriend close.
"Shh...don't be sorry" He cooed as he felt the others hands grip tightly onto his shirt, desperate for contact.
"I'm sorry...for fucking up" Alex managed to say before an influx of tears escaped the corners of his eyes, disappearing in the flush on his cheeks.
"You haven't fucked up" Chris murmured into the top of the others head, kissing the mass of ginger that lay there.

Chris pulled away, crouching in front of Alex. He lifted his chin so he could look at the other properly.
"I love you" Chris said as he held onto Alex's wrist, helping him up and into the bedroom opposite.
He lead him into the ensuite bathroom, sitting him in the edge if the bath as he found the medicine cabinet, acquiring bandages for the other.
"Hold out your hand, sweet pea" He murmured as Alex followed his words.
Chris tried to disinfect, remove the shards of glass and bandage up Alex's hand to the best of his abilities.
"I love you so much" He reassured him, leaning down to kiss his forehead.
"Why do you love a fuck up like me?" Alex mumbled as a reply, looking up, his cornflower blue eyes, strikingly beautiful next to the plethora of red veins which had taken prime spot in the whites of his eyes.
"Because everyone has their flaws and you learn to love them" Chris replied as he helped Alex up for the second time.
"I just...I need a nap" Alex said quietly as he slumped down on the bed, Chris sitting next to him, making sure he didn't fall off or potentially chuck up.

A few hours later and Alex had woken and suitably sobered up. They were both downstairs, Alex's head on Chris's lap as they watched the tv, Chris absent-mindlessly carding his fingers through Alex's hair.
"Alex" Chris asked, looking down momentarily.
"Hm?" Alex replied, turning to look up into the others eyes.
Chris shifted slightly, standing up and dusting himself up.
Alex sat up right, a little confused at what the other was doing.

"It's been 3 years" Chris reminded Alex as he smiled a little, Alex laughing softly.
"It's been a hectic 3 years I might add" Chris added quickly, earning another small laugh from Alex.
"Basically, I was going to do this tonight because we were meant to go out to dinner but-" Chris looked at Alex who looked confused but curious.

Chris took a deep intake of breath before getting down on one knee, a small box in his hand.
"Will you marry me?"

Than a dinner for two

Credit to hatfilms on Ao3