TW: Blood, fluff, sadness, MartynHurtingToby,  self-harm

A frosted breath cut through the air as footsteps were made through the deepening snow. Toby's eyes darted up to the dawning pink sky, blood dipping down his broken nose and on to the icy flakes.

He let out a quiet sigh, watching the morning clouds cover the heat from the sun that he was hoping for. The daylight taken away by the movement of a swift cover-up.

He'd never seen such anger from his friend, never hit the ground so hard.

Toby slowly lifted his hand to where the mark had been made, blood still falling from the icy cut.

He went on through the thick snow, knowing Martyn would be upset with him, and truly, he didn't want Martyn upset, he wanted Martyn happy... He wanted his Martyn back.

He didn't feel his knees hit the snowy ground until he was coughing blood up for the second time that week, his arms wrapping around his stomach. In a way, he'd gotten used to the pain, known when Martyn would growl in his ear at night to get out of their bed, he knew when the pain would come and how it would come.

He knew when the knife would dig into his skin, when the sword would lightly dash across his flash to open a new wound, he knew when his body would become a punching bag.

But still, he stayed, took the pain, let the blonde do what he wanted with his body for the winter.

But still he never once cried, never once said it hurt, never let tears join the blood. He'd done that once and Martyn hadn't let him sleep in their bed until the spring.

Spring... shouldn't that have come by now? Shouldn't the hot rays have melted the snow and ice from the ground and let the trees blossom with wonderful pinks and peaceful greens?

Toby carefully lifted his head off the bloody snowy ground, knowing he needed to return to camp, before Martyn came looking for him.

Quickly, he pushed off the snow, feeling dizzy from blood loss and sleepless nights. Toby's gaze swiftly turned to the bloodied ground, but yet he couldn't find it in his heart to care.

His ears picked up a shout from not too far away and the bitterness in the voice made him stop and close his eyes. "Toby, where are you!" Martyn shouted through the forest, running through it as fast as he could.

Toby let out a sigh and kept his eyes closed as the footsteps came nearer and then simply stopped. "Hi, Martyn..." Toby said, opening one eye to look at his 'friend'.

Martyn wasn't happy, his blonde hair was half icy and his eyes were a forested mess, his skin a dashed blue of a kind. "Where have you been? I came back and couldn't find you anywhere!" He yelled, coming closer to Toby until his lips were so close to Toby's, if he just took one more step, they'd be kissing.

"I-I was walking, looking for signs of s-spring." Toby muttered, mindlessly playing with his hands, not meeting Martyn's eyes.

Martyn growled and turned away, not caring to ask about Toby's bloodied hair or icy clothes. "Back to camp, it's late and there's a long day in the morning." Already starting back, stepping on a yellow flower as he walked down the path to their camp, the tent dead ahead.

Dead... that sounded good right about now.

Toby followed, his eyes down as he walked. Almost tripping over a few times.

By the time Toby was back in the tent, Martyn was already in the bed, faced away from the brown-haired boy. Toby carefully lifted the blankets and slipped into the bed, staying as far away from Martyn as he could, resting his head down on the pillow and letting out a sigh as he closed his eyes to the world and let himself fall into a hopeless dream.

His mind awoke a few hours later, still half asleep. "Out." He heard the icy whisper from above him. Slowly Toby opened his eyes in the darkness, his breath catching as soon as he did.

Martyn was on his knees, mostly pinning Toby to the bed, his eyes shining a heartless blue. "Get out." He growled right above Toby's lips, glaring at the bloodied brown-haired boy. "Now."

Toby let out a small breath and pushed Martyn away just so he could get out of the bed, he fell to the ground of the tent, biting his lip so to not yell in pain. Now wide awake, Toby turned to his bed and pulled himself in, his eyes following Martyn as he got into their bed and turned away from Toby. "Good n-night, Martyn." Toby whispered, lying his head down on the pillow and watching as blood fell from his nose and on to the covers.

He carried on watching it until the sun was rising and Martyn was waking up, shaking his head slightly his icy hair making a small noise as a few droplets of water fell on to the pillow. His eyes flickered across to Toby who was facing him, his eyes almost lifeless.

Martyn pulled back the covers and quickly got out of bed, muttering things to himself as he walked over to the bed Toby was sleeping in. The covers were pulled up around his upper body, his feet and legs hardly had anything over them at all. Martyn growled, wondering why he wasn't saying anything. "Toby." He whispered, his voice coming out as a cold mutter.

Toby's head snapped up, his eyes going wide at seeing how close Martyn was to him. "M-Martyn." He said, finding his voice was hardly there.

"Go on, get up, we need some wood." Martyn growled, his cold gaze never leaving the boy. "Try and be useful for once in your life." He coldly said, turning away to leave the tent, as he did so, he felt his head go slightly dizzy, unknown to him really why. He dismissed it and quickly went to work.

He waited to hear the footsteps that night, he didn't know why, but somehow he wanted to hear the sound of Toby limping across the clearing to the tent.

But he didn't.

Martyn poked his head out from the green tent, his eyes dashing across the clearing to see if he was coming, his eyes were colder now, his hair darker in the night as well. "Toby?" Martyn called, rolling his eyes as he waited.

But still, Toby did not show his face.

"That boy." Martyn growled, find his sword and knife, quickly running out into the falling snow. "Toby!" He shouted again, his voice wasn't worried and nor was he.

Martyn's head snapped to one side as he heard someone limping through the trees, he stepped to one side as Toby fell down at his feet. "M-Martyn?" Toby asked, fear filling his eyes as Martyn held up his sword.

"Toby..." Martyn growled as he pulled down his sword.

A haunting shout echoed through the forest, the trees moving their snow covered leaves out of the way as blood spilled upon the ground and Martyn started pulling Toby along with him, bleeding badly. Martyn pushed Toby into the tent and then followed him in, his cold eyes never leaving the younger.

"M-Martyn." Toby whispered, trying to move away from the spirit, his gaze fearful and unsure.

"Shut up!" Martyn shouted, the knife glittering in his hand as Toby's yells and shouts of pain echoed throughout the snowy night, his blood spilling across the floor as Martyn pulled the knife away for the last time. "There." He muttered, dropping it by Toby's bloodied hand, watching it twitch once as he slowly opened his eyes. Martyn quickly gave him one more kick to the side before growling and walking to his bed, throwing back the covers and getting inside. "Night." He said darkly.

Toby watched him through bloody eyes, his breath catching again and again as he pulled himself off the ground, his hair bloodied and his hands twitching from the cuts and scars.

His eyes flicked to Martyn who looked sound asleep, before he started to limp out of the tent. His body becoming colder and colder as he walked barefoot across the clearing and through the forest, snow covering blood as he walked back, going to the meadow once and forever.

The next morning, Martyn awoke, his eyes hardly open as he sat up, he lifted his arm up and was shocked to see it wasn't blue. He smiled, not believing it. There was still snow outside, but it wasn't falling.

Spring had come.

He smiled, almost breaking into laughter, that is until he turned, his breath catching. Carefully, Martyn pulled back his covers, falling to the floor as his eyes followed the spilled blood. "Oh my God..." He muttered, gently dipping his fingers in the blood and looking at it.

"Toby!" He shouted, falling out of the tent, barefoot, as he ran through the bloody snow, shaking his head as tears ran down his cheeks.

Martyn kept running, tripping over and falling into bloodied snow. "No... Toby!" He shouted, getting up and running through the forest, his eyes following the spilled and bloody snow.

Martyn felt himself growing slower as he made it into the meadow. "Toby..." He said, seeing something hidden under the snow at the top of the meadow hill.

Quickly he made his way up, slipping through the blood hidden under the thick snow. His hands pushing away the snow covering the boy's body. "Toby?" Martyn cried.

The cold body of the brown-haired boy showed and his eyes were hardly open, his breath slow and even. "Toby..."

"M-Martyn?" He whispered, looking up, the fear replaced with sadness and an unloved feeling.

Martyn dug through the snow more, pulling the boy into his lap. "Toby." Martyn whispered, his fingers gently flipping the hair away from his eyes.

As Martyn carried him back, he looked over all the scars on the boy's body, feeling upset with how much he'd hurt the poor boy. "I'm sorry." Martyn whispered as he lay Toby on their bed, pulling the covers around him. "How did you keep sane?"

"Don't be, Martyn, you can't help it." Toby whispered, his eyes fluttering closed before he could say anything more. His head resting on the pillow, most likely getting the best sleep he's had for days.

Martyn sighed and sat down on the bed, watching the younger sleep, his hand trailing down the cuts and scars.

When his hand got to his arm, he felt a bumpy scar under the cloth and slowly pulled it back, his eyes going wide.

On his arm were four words, writing he'd never made. This is how Toby had kept sane, this is how he's let himself take the pain, this is why Martyn had never seen Toby cry.

"No Tears No Fears."

Credit to dustedwires on tumblr dot com