TW: Diaries, set in Minecraftia, Swearing

Dear diary,

Today I made diary. I also got a little bit lost, but I found my way back to Dawson's Crack so it's okay. There was also an incident with a creeper, but I iced that joker before it could do any damage to Dawson's towel.

Nobody lives here but me yet, but I want this place to stay in tip top shape for when I do get some visitors. Visitors that aren't skellingtons and endermen, anyway. Actual HUMAN visitors. Wouldn't that be great?

Love, Sjin

—-

Dear Diary,

Today I made another diary because I lost the other one. I put it in my chest before I went to bed, and I woke up this morning and it was gone? I think a skinny guy took it. But, they can't lift up books, can they?

Anyway, still no visitors today. Well, there was another creeper but there's always another creeper. Unless... Maybe Dawson's Crack has a diary thief? A HUMAN diary thief?! Plot twist!

Love, Sjin

—-

Dear Diary,

I had to make a third diary today. I think this confirms my diary thief theory. I wish they would show themselves though. It would be nice to talk to someone who could talk back for a change... Not that you're not great and all, diary, but you're not exactly talkative ;P

I hung up some flowers above my bed today. Both sides. Even if the other half is unoccupied though. Maybe one day...

Love, Sjin

—-

Dear Sjin,

I don't know why you keep putting your diaries in my shizzle wizzle chest, and why you keep calling me a diary thief for removing them, but this is getting ridiculous.

Did Ridge put you up to this?? Or Lalna?? It was Lalna, wasn't it. That bastard is always messing with my stuff!! He and Xephos rigged up my door to explode the other day those sons of bitches. I was planning on renovating anyway and prepare myself for the missle war, but that was just plain rude. I'm going to get them back for this.

And you too if you don't stop with this diary business.

Sips

—-

Dear Sips,

I'm not putting anything in your chest? I'm putting the diaries in my chest, unless they're being transported to yours somehow? I didn't think this was an enderchest, but I guess I was wrong.

I don't know who any of those people are. They didn't put me up to anything. I say you should ice those jokers anyway. They sound like humongous dicks.

Sjin

—-

Dear Sjin,

They ARE humongous dicks! I mean, they have small ones, but they are big ones. Obviously because they're over-compensating for having small ones. Obviously. Those fucking bastards. Fupping bar stewards.

I swear if I could fit both of my hands around their necks... I would, Sjin, I would. Nick Cage sent me some missiles today. I wasn't impressed with this display, but it's impossible not to like the Cage. What a guy.

Why are you still sending me your diaries? Did you not get the message?

Sips

—-

Dear Sips,

I got the message. I just want to talk :P Not much happens over here, so it's nice to hear about your antics from wherever you are. There's nobody here but me and the endermen. It's quiet.

But, missiles? Now that's exciting! What are you going to do with them? May I suggest aiming them at the other guys bases? Before they do the same to you, of course. They deserve it after pranking you like that.

Sjin

—-

Dear Sjin,

Well Sjin, whatever floats your boat. But you and the skinny guys sounds like a bitching party if you ask me. Those glowing eyes can be like a purple disco ball, and those weird sounds they make is practically dubstep.

wub wub wub wub wub wub

No need to suggest anything Sjin, because that's exactly what I'm going to do with the missiles. Pointed directly at the kisser aw yeah. It's going to be good.

Wub wub Sips

—-

Dear Sips,

Hahaha maybe :P Dropping the beats faster than Skrillex with butter on his hands. He could only wish he could drop the bass as fast as the skinny guys. They're party animals.

Well, let me know how the missiles go, Sips, and don't let them hit you in the kisser. You might need that ;P

wub wub Sjin

—-

Dear Sjin,

Well, you fucking jinxed it. Those bastards blew a hole in the side of my base. They caught me when my pants were down, and now I have a large window that I never really wanted. Concrete is supposed to hold up against explosions, but apparently it just did not feel like doing that today.

The chest was okay, so I was still able to let you know that you fucked up. GG. I'm going to go patch up that wall now, then prepare for round two. Don't jinx anything while I'm gone.

Sips

—-

Dear Sips,

Shit Sips. I didn't mean to, I swear to Notch. I'm going to zip my lips, Sips, and not say anything that would jeopardize your chances again.

Are you okay though? You mentioned the wall, but you never mentioned how you fared. Obviously you're still alive, but you still have all of your limbs and shit right?

Sjin

—-

Dear Sjin,

All of my shit is intact, don't you worry your pretty little head. I have a couple of flesh wounds, but chicks dig battle scars so it's all cool. I'll have bitches lining up on the left and on the right once they get a look at me. They won't be able to keep control of themselves, and they'll be scribbling my name with little hearts in their diaries...

Just like you, eh Sjin?

Sips

—-

Dear Sips,

Hahaha yeah, just like me ;P Because I have nothing better to do that to scribble your name next to mine and draw lots of hearts all over the place.

I might not have any missile crises over here, but I still have plenty of things to do, you know. I have a farm to take care off, and jokers to ice. I can't be thinking of you all day, now can I?

Sjin

—-

Dear Diary,

<3 S+S <3

Love, Sjin <3

—-

Dear Sjin,

Wow Sjin, try and not have too much fun without me. We wouldn't want you pulling out your back while picking daisies or anything. Hell, let me save you the trouble and pick some for you. Just take this yellow one. There is no room for pansies in this man cave. Now nobody has to worry about you.

Speaking of missile crises, round two is coming up fast. I'm geared up and rearing to go, and I'm going to launch the first one soon. They'll never know what hit 'em.

Sips

—-

Dear Diary,

<3333333333

Love, Sjin

—-

Dear Sips,

I put the flower in a plant pot next to my chest. It really adds some colour to the room, thanks Sips! Have you ever thought of becoming an interior decorator for houses you can't see?

You show those ruffians what for, Sips. Give them the old Thunderbird one and Thunderbird two. Don't let them see whats coming.

Sjin

—-

Dea r Sjin,

They got me bad htis tim e. They were more geared uo this time, way moar than i ever was. Probably because I was dilly dallying w ith you all day in stead on preapring mysejf properlu.

It'll take much more work to fix thid hell hole this time. This place is literally a hol e nuw. But i"ll get there eventually,

I'm okay though. Just more flesh wounsd and battle scares. The ladies'll never re sist me now haha. Try and not to be two jealous Sjin.

Sips

—-

Dear Sips,

Are you sure you're okay? Your handwriting is harder to read than usual. Are those flesh wounds on your writing arm by any chance?

You can be honest with me, Sips. No need to act like the tough guy all the time. We're all friends here.

Sjin

—-

Dear Sips,

I haven't heard from you in a few days. Are you still recovering from the assault? I mean, if that's the case then by all means take your time. I wouldn't want to impede your recovery any.

But a short message to let me know you're still alive would be nice.

Sjin

—-

Dear Sips,

...You are still alive, right? Sips? Please tell me you're still alive...

Sjin

—-

Dear Sips,

I found a yellow flower today. It reminded me of you.

Remember when you sent me that yellow flower? Haha. You didn't want me to pull out my back so you sent me one instead. Haha good times, right Sips?

Right?

Sjin

—-

Dear Sips,

I miss you.

Love, Sjin

—-

Dear Sjin,

I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.

If I had of known this would happen then... I wouldn't have... I wouldn't have let...

I'm sorry.

Xephos

—-

Dear Diary,

I'm going to go away for a little while. Where? I don't know. I know where'd I like to go, but I'll never find that place. Never in a million years. But maybe if I search hard enough then...

Hold down the fort while I'm gone. I'll update you when I come back. IF I come back.

Goodbye, diary. You've been great.

Love, Sjin

Credit to caora on tumblr