TW: Alcohol

Parv flushed the toilet, ready to walk out again when a scribble next to the door caught his gaze. With a sloppy handwriting, most likely written by someone who was drunk, a number was jotted down together with 'Strife solutions for all and any problems'. Parv, who wasn't very sober himself, smirked slightly before putting the number into his contacts. He exited the bathroom and with a wave to Ravs the bartender he left the pub.

As he walked home Parv pulled out his phone, pressing call on his newly added contact. Two signals went through before a deep and smooth voice answered.

"Is this Strife?" Parv asked with a smirk.

"Uh... Yes, what is this about?" Strife answered. Apparently he had not expected a call at 2 am in the morning.

"I saw your ad, and I have a problem for you to solve", Parv said. He had now reached his block of flats and struggled to unlock the gate with just one hand.

"I'm sorry but it's very late, I don't normally take business calls in the middle of the night", Strife replied. Parv pressed the button to his floor in the elevator.

"But I'm lonely" Parv said, leaning back against the wall.

"Wait, excuse me what?! Who are you?" Strife replied with a confused tone.

"I'm Parv and I'm lonely. It said you'd solve any problem", Parv whined and he could hear Strife sigh on the other end.

"I... Where exactly did you see this ad? Parv?" Strife said and Parv closed his door behind him, toeing out of his shoes.

"Uhm in a toilet stall at the Crooked Caber", Parv replied, throwing himself down on his sofa.

"Oh for fuck's sake... I forgot I did that, you realise that wasn't a real ad right?" Strife groaned and Parv giggled slightly.

"Yeah but I have you number now, you really shouldn't give it to strangers", Parv said, smirking slightly.

"I didn't give you it! Why am I even talking to you, I should sleep", Strife said.

"With me."

"PARV! This is not appropriate!"

"I don't wanna be appropriate."

"Well obviously not! Considering you're drunk and calling some random stranger at fucking two am!" Strife was now raising his voice.

"Who said I was drunk?" Parv replied with an offended tone.

"You were at a bar, you're slurring slightly, you're refusing to hang up, totally drunk", Strife explained. Parv sighed theatrically.

"Okay, you got me. But despite your statement you haven't hung up either, which means either you're also drunk or you like talking to me", Parv said, smirking when he could hear Strife swear quietly.

"Parv okay I am not drunk and I don't like talking to you, I just want to make sure you don't call me again", Strife said annoyed.

"What if I do call you again? What then, Strife?" Parv asked.

"Please just... Parv you seem like an okay dude but I don't know you", Strife replied.

"Then get to know me", Parv insisted.

"I can't believe this! What is your problem seriously?!" Strife shouted.

"I already told you! My problem is that I'm lonely, and you stated you could solve it", Parv laughed.

"Oh my god! Are you kidding me?" Strife exclaimed.

"No. Why would I, I want you to make me not lonely", Parv said with a straight voice.

"What do you even expect me to do? Move in with you?" Strife asked.

"No, just talk to me. I want you to talk to me", Parv said softly.

"I am talking to you", Strife replied dryly.

"Yes but nicer, you have a nice voice. Tell me about yourself or something", Parv said.

"I have a... Well uhm, I own a company, this is my work phone, and it's called Strife Solutions", Strife said in a normal speaking voice.

"Ah, so the ad was for your company. I should call your personal phone next time", Parv replied.

"Who said anything about a next time?" Strife said sternly.

"Well you're not gonna solve my problem in just one night if you think that. Tell me what you're doing", Parv said and Strife sighed.

"I'm in bed, well on my bed, I haven't gone to bed yet..." Strife replied.

"Working late?" Parv asked.

"Maybe. What about you?" Strife replied instead.

"At home, in my sofa, wishing you were here", Parv sighed.

"Hold on a second, you haven't met me, you don't know what I look like, how can you know you even like me?" Strife asked.

"Well I might have googled your company and I have to tell you, you look really hot in that suit", Parv purred, making Strife whimper quietly.

"You are unbelievable", Strife groaned.

"I know right, this is me." Parv pressed send and he could hear Strife's phone vibrate on the other end.

"Fuck... I – Fuck. Parv are you wearing anything at all in this picture", Strife asked.

"Well no, but you only see the decent part", Parv said smirking.

"I don't care that it is decent! We are not at a stage in this relationship where we send nudes Parv!" Strife shouted.

"Oh so we're in a relationship?"

"No we're not!"

"You said it though."

"I – Well yes but I didn't mean it like that!" Strife's voice was going higher and higher in pitch the more panicked he sounded. Parv just laughed at the other man's struggle.

"Yeah sure you didn't, you're not blushing like crazy or anything either", Parv said with a teasing voice.

"I am not blushing", Strife protested.

"Prove it", Parv replied.

"I am not sending you a picture Parv", Strife said.

"That's a shame, because you really are attractive", Parv said with a disappointed sigh.

"Parv please, it's really flattering but I can't", Strife replied.

"Oh, you have a girlfriend?" Parv said surprised.

"What?"

"Boyfriend?"

"No!"

"So you're single, what's stopping you?"

"If you're thinking that just because I am not dating someone I will send pictures to an attractive stranger, you are wrong", Strife said sternly before he realised his mistake.

"But you do think I'm attractive", Parv replied with a snigger.

"Well – You... Based on societal standards I suppose you would be considered attractive yes", Strife tried to defend himself.

"But you said I was attractive", Parv insisted.

"Parv fuck you, fuck you", Strife hissed.

"Is that what you want?" Parv said smugly.

"No apparently that's what you want!" Strife said.

"Mm yeah I want it so bad Strife, fuck me Will please", Parv murmured.

"Oh my fucking god!" Strife shouted before he hung up. Parv laughed like mad but went silent when his phone vibrated. It was a text message from Strife and with a grin Parv opened it, unsure of what to expect.

//At least ask me on a date first.// Strife wrote. Parv quickly typed a reply.

//Your pants a little tight Strife? ;3//

//I hate you.//

//Sure you do :P//

//Goodnight Parv.//

// Sweet dreams Strife :*// Parv yawned and stumbled out of the living into his bedroom. He quickly stripped off his clothes and climbed into bed, placing the phone on the bedside table. Tomorrow he'd text Strife again, if only to drive him more insane.

Credit to Owlpig on Ao3