Sanity (S)
TW: Fluff and Angst
Nano didn't know what to do.
Lalna was gone. Taken or lost or just... gone.
At first she looked for him, searched across the plains and asked around for his whereabouts. She visited Xephos and Honeydew on their space station, and even risked a visit to the magic police to confront Sjin about it. But their versions of Lalna were gone too. It was like he had just been erased out of existence, and there was nothing she could do. Initially she had felt anger, and then sadness, but after deciding it was better to feel nothing than this, she pushed those thoughts out of her mind and decided to wait.
Blank walls and empty rooms stared Nano down. She was alone. Three months she had waited for Lalna to return to her, waited for any sign of him. There was nothing. So Nano stopped waiting. Lalna had left her, and she had to move on.
Nano took up her time by focusing on small daily tasks. Improving her witchery and thaumic skills. Maintaining the reactor and machinery. Feeding the animals and harvesting the plants. But these tasked numbed her mind and became meaningless.
Eventually, as more time passed, silence reached out to her, touching her mind and speaking to her in a voice of velvet and sugar. It's sweet tendrils invaded her brain until she could not stand it anymore. Breaking down in tears and collapsing on the floor, helplessly, she screamed to herself until her voice cracked. She had to leave. To find him. To find anyone.
Hat Films weren't always on the best terms with Nano, but at this point she wasn't thinking straight. Her vision was blurred by tears and her hands shaky on her hang glider. Their base was closest and she knew the route off by heart by now. Landing outside of the purple obsidian hut, she stopped and thought about what she was doing. Nano thought about all of the times she and them had been at war, either through nukes or pranks, but that was different. Their previous squabbles now felt like childs play, and this was real.
Her feet carried her through the secret doors and hatches, following a route she'd seen the sirs take through her crystal ball. Without thinking she found herself standing on the floor of the main base, next to the sorting system, still as stone.
Ross was returning to the main floor of the base to pick up some wood for torches, when he stopped dead in his tracks. His mind raced as he saw Nano, shoulders hunched and staring absently at the floor. Cautiously stepping towards her, calling out.
"Nano?"
She looked up, and he was taken aback for a moment. She looked awful. Her hair was messy and her clothes were stained with dirt. Her eyes were red and puffy as she had clearly been crying. Lip trembling, she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out as she fell to her knees. Ross rushed forward, catching her in his arms and pulling her to his chest. His heart did a flip in his chest as she desperately grabbed at the shirt on his back, pulling him closer.
Nano cried into Ross' shoulder and nuzzled her face into his neck. She pushed her thoughts about what she was doing out of her mind as she let her emotion out into his shirt. Calloused hands held her close and, for the first time in a year, she felt safe.
None of the Sirs questioned Nano, instead allowing her to tell them in her own time. They all listened intently when she explained Lalna's disappearance, and her loneliness. And though she never told Smith or Trott about the sweetness whispering in her ear, Ross always listened as they lay together in the group sleeping quarters. One of his hands on the base of her spine and one of her's in his hair, her laying on his chest and listening to his steady heartbeat until she felt safe enough to sleep again.
Time was now a gift for Nano rather than a curse. It gave her the chance to heal, to slowly put herself back together. She lived with the Sirs now, an unquestionable agreement they had all made that day she had fell into Ross' arms, and had clung to him without the intention of letting go. Nano watched their chaos out of the corner of her eye at the start, Ross kissing her forehead as they left to vandalise or steal something, making sure she was comfortable to be left alone. If the job ran overtime, Ross always came back ahead of the other two, checking that Nano was okay and holding her close when she wasn't. Their unspoken contract was unexpected, but ultimately obvious. Neither the walrus nor the pyromaniac was surprised when Nano came to breakfast one day wearing Ross' shirt with red bruises on her neck. Blushing and asking for two cups of tea.
Eventually she became part of their mayhem, flowing with it easily and feeling free to laugh again. Arms raised to the sky and grin plastered on her face as she thought about Lalna. How, though she hoped he would come back one day, she loved where she was now.
Although Hat Films were chaos, they were also Nano's sanity.
Credit to rosemusiclive
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