TW: Blood, Character Death, Suicide, Angst, Yoglabs, Yoglab Spoilers

I'm sure this must be an immense disappointment to you, friends, and I'd like to start off by saying I am sorry, deeply, and truly sorry. I have no right. I know. I hope one day you'll forgive me. Although I'm hesitant to write this out, I just feel like it's common courtesy; like it's something people do.

There is an almost painful amount of dread in the air, and that's the only way Lalna can describe it, a man so keen on his ability to articulate the language he speaks to get his point across- is at a loss for words. He's confused, and wishes he wasn't.

He's even more confused when he realizes he hasn't seen Xephos in days, the entire lab has been at a partial standstill because of that; without him things just do not get done. For all of his flaws, Xephos is true to his duties, and loyal to his work as much as he is to his friends; he would not miss this much time at work, most recent events permitting.

The amount of love I hold for each and every one of you surpasses anything I could ever feel towards anyone else, even my own kin; you're all the best thing to have ever happened to me. And each day I thank the universe for giving you to me, someone so unworthy could have been given so incredibly much; so much I never deserved.

Out of sheer curiosity (which is often times dangerous in Lalna's case, excluding his present interest) Lalna leaves the familiar silence of his laboratory and into the eerie, unexpected silence of the Yoglabs hallways. Eerie because of the immense length of each trailing walkway, decorated with scorch marks and dents, and the occasional door that is either bolted three times over, or rotting away on rusty hinges. All normal. Which could not be more disconcerting.

Normal is this; a peaceful silence in the early morning hours of some idle Saturday, Lalna barely awake as he leaves his lab to find Xephos. This is normal. And it should not be.

There needs to be explosions rocking the thick metals walls and shaking him awake as a beaker filled with acid spills on his arm again and forces Lalna to trudge down the hall only to find that Honeydew and Nano have gotten into his chemicals again and have blown a sizeable hole in Sjin's bunkroom wall. Lalna needs to be able to open any random door and find Rythian and Ridge fighting off an inter-dimensional monster with nothing more than their fists, not a mere empty chamber that appears to have not been burned, melted, or otherwise damaged for weeks. He knows it's only normal at Yoglabs when it's completely and utterly not normal.

With all the love in my heart, and every failing ounce of self-worth I beseech to thee; throw down the respect you have ever held for me, move on and don't look back, unlike I was able to.

A testificate scurries from one of the personal bunkrooms and past Lalna, down the hallway, and into another room without a single word; not exactly as talkative as per the norm, and it just emphasizes the vast emptiness of the walkway. Where are the abominations that so often roam these halls? Where are the resounding voices spewing vulgar language and the false promises of punches to the face and murder.

Step after step, the only sound that sits in Lalna's range of hearing is the thudding of his own boots against the linoleum floors, his own breathing, and the shuffling sound of his annoyingly baggy pants and over-long lab coat. He hates the silence, and maybe it's the constant, albeit faint ringing in his ears, but he truly detests it.

Pardon my penmanship, it looks atrocious I know, so I hope you can excuse me one last time; I'm sure you can understand my state of being right now, I'm not exactly as clear minded as I used to be. And on that particular note, I'd like to apologize for being absent as of late, I'm sure I've slowed production tenfold, however I'm sure our dear professors have not stopped working altogether; I have complete faith in them, as I do the rest of you.

Xephos' office is before him after an eternity of endless silence and quiet musings. He reaches for the handle, only to find it resisting his force with persistent resilience. "Locked?" Lalna murmurs, his brilliant mind spinning into a panic. This door was never locked; Xephos refuses to cut himself off, to an extent that he hardly ever closes the door in the first place.

He pulls on the handle with all the force his arm can muster, then using the weight of his whole body to yank, twist, and push on the door and the door handle but cannot make the iron door budge an inch. In fact, Lalna notes, the ever-present, albeit unused, door lever seems to have been pried from the wall; obvious even to a stranger because of the pale, unmarked metal rectangle where the base of the lever once was.

"Lalna, what are ye' doin'?" Upon turning around, Lalna found Honeydew standing a meter or so behind him chewing noisily on a Jaffa and looking at him like he's crazy (which perhaps is true).

The scientist clears his throat and lifts his goggles to his forehead, wincing quietly as a chilling draft skates over his previously covered eyes. "Xephos' door is locked." He mumbles, half expecting no response from the dwarf whatsoever.

Honeydew finishes chewing and swallows, "Why on Earth would he do that?" He wonders with barely a hint of legitimate concern in his nonchalant tone.

Lalana sighs and tries to ignore the old familiar feeling of tears prickling along the rims of his eyes, suddenly wishing he had not removed his goggles. He rubs them furiously, disguising the motion by rubbing the rest of his face, before he throws a crestfallen look at Honeydew; who is not their Honeydew, not the one who's been through hell and back with them, nor the one who has nearly starved to death , drowned, and blown up Yoglabs along with them. And certainly not the Honeydew Xephos came to love. But Lalna knows that, and detests his own mind for reminding him so vividly.

Someone remind Ridge to fix the chemical leak out front for me would you? It's seriously becoming a problem; I saw a green pig last week, and maybe it's just my eyesight, but I don't think that pig was the right color. Take your time though, I know how busy he gets. Yes, and if you could ask Lomadia to head to the stronghold and destroy the End portal there, I've been running some tests in my down time and have discovered it gives off more radiation than Lalna's lab. I'd rather not have any of you permanently injured because of that, I'm sure someone will find a better way to the End if need be.

"Lalna!" The voice comes across loud and clear even before anyone is in sight. Lalana turns and looks down the halls until Sjin appears from around the corner, sprinting and noticeably disgruntled. "Something's happened!"

Again I'm sorry about the hassle I've inevitably caused. I already feel terrible about it. But I pray you can move on rather quickly, again, unlike I could.

"Calm down, what happened?" Lalna asks carefully, resting his hands on Sjin's shoulders when the architect reaches him.

He is out of breath and looks to be on the brink of tears, eyes glassy and wide, and pupils tiny in his wide brown irises, Sjin looks back down the hallway and at Lalna, and then at his hands, which Lalna quickly notices are splattered with, what appears to be, blood. "Are you hurt? Did something get broken? What happened?" The blonde scientist asks, fear bubbling up in his already anxiety-ridden body.

This is so selfish of me, I've always been selfish, I've never known what to do when faced with a problem like this, and maybe my current course of action is not the better one. And I know, I'm an arse, and a liar, and a complete and utter douche; believe me, I know. I deserve far worse that your harsh words.

"I was in the- in the cloning chambers because I haven't been able to find Nano all morning and...and while looking around I stepped in liquid and I...I-I- I saw Xephos' master clone container was broken open, and-...and his master clone was..." Sjin's voice cracks out momentarily as he lifts his bloody hands up, his entire body shaking, "Practically ripped in two." He is so quiet Lalna barely hears him, and Honeydew blatantly calls for him to repeat himself louder.

Tell Sips to stop filling my office with dirt; we're not altering the Jaffa Factory into a Dirt Factory. I'm serious. It was the last thing Honeydew and I ever completed together, after all.

Panic spills over in Lalna's mind and he's back to using all of his force to try and pry the door away again, all sounds fade away except for the rapid beating of his own heart, and Sjin's shaky breathing, but he tries his hardest to hear any noise coming from inside Xephos' office; nothing. "Xephos?!"

Please, don't hate me forever. I really am sorry.

A creaking sound alerts Lalna to the failing hinges, which is not completely surprising considering the amount of strain put on the door daily from Zoe hanging on it and Rythian accidentally casting spells on it. There are a few more sounds reminiscent of snapping metal bindings and a heavy shifting of the door coaxes Lalna to finally relieve his relentless onslaught.

Duncan; Yoglabs is yours now, take care of the place.

As soon as the door is jerked out of its frame, a sickly warmth wafts from the room, carrying with it a gut-wrenching, coppery scent that elicits a wretch from Lalna's throat and forces him to take a few steps back and into Sjin's hands, which he has held out to steady the scientist.

Sjin, keep an eye on Sips for me, will you? I need you to watch after him, unlike I could for Honeydew.

A sudden terror paralyzes Lalna's limbs and he finds it incredibly strenuous to take those few meager steps forward and nudge the door open further.

And maybe you're asking why,

Sjin is the first to react, his breath hitching before he falls over, catching himself on the doorway, his breaths now coming in ragged sobs even as his hand flies up to cover his mouth. Lalna just stares.

And that's probably a warranted thing to ask.

He swears that his lungs cease to pump oxygen, and his voice fizzles out in his throat; his eyes fill with moisture and spill over when he blinks, all before he can even register the flow of his own emotion. Deftly, he reaches for Sjin and doesn't move when the architect clasps onto his arm and buries his face against his lab coat.

The truth is,

Lalna feels his legs fail him and he's on the ground with Sjin crumpled next to him, the bearded man's bloodied hands gripping at his jacket as he tries to even his breathe, neither of them able to tear their eyes away from the sight before them; crimson further reddening a bright red jacket and the white shirt beneath, originating from the rift along a starkly pale neck.

If I can be so selfish, one last time,

It is gruesome, like something out of a terribly Hollywood horror movie, and maybe that's why neither Sjin nor Lalna can believe it's real, and maybe that's why when Lalna pushes himself back against the wall and holds Sjin, able to feel the thinner man's body quake under his arms; it feels like a scene scripted straight from a tragedy. They cry, and Honeydew, no, not Honeydew, stands by confused and repulsed. Lalna's mouth moves, no sound comes out. Please no, no, Xephos...Lewis...god please. He notices a piece of parchment lying on Xephos' desk with a charcoal pencil lying next to it; though Lalna choses to not think about it, it's probably not too important.

I couldn't live without him.

Resounding love,
-Xephos

Credit to QuenEchidna on Ao3