TW: Death Mention

(A fictional aftermath of Flux Buddies episode #17).

Honeydew couldn't quite name why, but today, he felt off. Something in the air or in his mining tools, something he couldn't name.

He licked his lips as mined, digging out the dirt and stone in the cave below the surface. They needed more materials, always more materials, and Honeydew was happy to oblige. Xephos had woken up that morning cranky and irritable, mumbling about the need for supplies to build the space station, and Honeydew had kissed his cheek before getting his pickaxe and going to work.

Unfortunately, iron was rather scarce in this particular cave, and the deeper he went, the less of it there seemed to be. He only had eight chunks and he'd been there for hours.

Honeydew seriously considered going home, calling it a failed expedition and coming back to help build with the materials they did have, when he heard a noise, quick and sharp. And again, the clacking of rocks against the cave walls. He tensed, pulling out his sword as he shoved his pickaxe back into his belt, ready to face the creeper or skeleton coming at him.

Instead, it was a figure, roughly human sized, with filthy blond hair and a ragged lab coat. Honeydew relaxed, and sighed in relief. "Lalna, you shouldn't scare me like that, you--"

When Lalna looked up, Honeydew stopped, catching sight of the bright eyes and rolled up sleeves, the lax posture, how his body was the slightest bit skinnier. And his eyes were different, shining the same color but with a different light, and Honeydew knew instantly that this wasn't his Lalna.

They didn't talk about the clones very much, but Honeydew knew there was another Lalna, living with Nanosounds. He knew they did magic and science together and that the two were very close. He'd even met the other Lalna before, and he couldn't help but feel something for him, like parental instincts. His and Xephos' Lalna was their close friend, and even if he didn't know the other one very well, he wanted to see him safe and happy as much as his own Lalna.

Nano's Lalna stood up straighter, coughing. "Oh, uh, hello, Honeydew."

"Hi," he said weakly, deflating. "What are you doing around here? It's not-- we're not near each other, usually." They'd built their bases far apart and only eve crossed paths by accident, when flying to new places. The two Lalnas didn't like being near each other, as, according to Honeydew's Lalna, it freaked them out, and they rarely if ever remembered meeting one another. They were always shocked to see a copy of themselves running around. It was why Xephos and Honeydew didn't bring up the subject much; Lalna always acted forgetful and asked what the hell they were talking about.

"No," Lalna said in agreement, scratching at the back of his head. "We aren't usually near each other. I, um. I was looking for you, actually."

That caught his attention, and Honeydew straightened up. "Oh, yeah? Why?" It wasn't meant to be harsh, and in fact Honeydew had used his gentlest voice, knowing how skittish both Lalnas were, but especially Nano's because he didn't like being around Xephos and Honeydew for too long.

Still, Lalna flinched. "I . . . I have something to talk to you about. Nano made me come here."

The defense came up fast and without provocation, and it made Honeydew narrow his eyes. "She did, did she?" he asked, swinging his sword over his shoulder. "Sounds important, then. Come on, let's go have a cup of tea and try not to, ah, freak the other Lalna out in the process, shall we?"

Lalna shrugged, uncomfortable with the mention of his other self, but followed when Honeydew turned and walked along the path of torches set into the walls, to the cave entrance. No doubt the second Nano's Lalna stepped into their compound, his own Lalna would make an excuse about machines to build, might even retreat to the space station. They hated looking at one another, like looking in a mirror but not. They dressed differently and had different speech patterns, and Nano's Lalna tended to be a bit more scruffed up from his missions with Nano.

If Honeydew had a clone, he didn't think he would be able to stop talking to them, but Xephos had mentioned something about the uncanny valley, about how a likeness that isn't perfect ends up feeling wrong. Whatever their reasons, the Lalnas kept separate, and he prepared himself for the inevitable dodging when they got back to base.

Xephos was fiddling in the towers when they flew back, Nano's Lalna already equipped with a jetpack. His Lalna was wandering the compound, and when Honeydew and Lalna both landed, he looked over, freezing at the sight of them.

"Lalna's here!" Honeydew called, shutting down his jetpack. His Lalna stayed frozen in place, and Xephos didn't move from within the towers. Sighing, Honeydew said, "The other Lalna is here!"

That got a reaction. Xephos jumped and poked his head outside the door, eyes going wide. The Lalna beside him waved, while his own Lalna scurried inside the nearest tower.

Xephos walked up to them both, petting Honeydew's head automatically as he looked over Lalna. "Hello, friend," he said, glancing over Lalna's dissheveled form. "Is there, uh, a reason for the special visit?"

Lalna scrubbed at the back of his neck. "There is," he said, peeking at Xephos from beneath his lashes. "Nano made me come here."

"Ah, right." Xephos said it as though he understood, though the tight set to his lips and stiff posture said otherwise. Honeydew brushed a hand over his hip, patting it gently, and Xephos gave him a quick smile.

With their Lalna in the tower, Xephos and Honeydew brought Nano's Lalna to the small house that kept their beds, still not expanded from when they'd first built it. It was a tight fit with three of them, but Honeydew reasoned that at least they didn't have to deal with four for the moment. The week when Sips had visited from the dirt compound had been the worst.

"So." Xephos crossed his arms and leaned on the nearest counter, slim hips digging into the wood. "What are you here for?"

Lalna shifted on his feet, staring at the ground. "I . . ." He gulped and shifted again, turning his head away without looking up. "I may have done something bad." He finally looked up, brow scrunched together, hand digging into the hair over his temple and tugging the strands loose from his ponytail.

"What does 'may' mean? What did you do?" Xephos asked.

"Something with a machine, I'm sure." Honeydew sighed, leaning against Xephos' side. It wasn't often they saw Nano's Lalna, but when they did, it was usually because he either needed something, or he'd done something that needed fixing. Most of the time, he and Nano handled it themselves, and even the bigger problems got brushed off. Their incorporation of Twilight animals into their home had been a shock the first time Honeydew had flown over the mainlaind, but Lalna had shrugged and said it was what Nano had wanted, and they had never asked for help in moving the animals between dimensions, despite the difficulty Honeydew was sure it had caused.

For Lalna to be nervous and frightened put Honeydew on edge, moving his hand around to press at the small of Xephos' back.

"I killed something," Lalna said. "Not a person," he quickly added, though he swallowed as he said it, the bob of his throat visible.

"But something important," Xephos finished for him, and Lalna nodded.

"I didn't-- I didn't mean it," he said, scuffing his shoes over the floor. "I never meant for anyone to be hurt, and they were coming at me so fast! There were so many of them, I didn't have a choice, I had to react immediately. And then Nano was doing it, too, and I couldn't help-- there were so many!" He looked up with wide eyes, lips parted, and there was a shine to his eyes, like he might start crying.

Honeydew stepped forward with his hands up. "Whoa, all right, careful there. No one's prosecuting you. What exactly did you kill? Spiders, something weird from the Nether?" He tried to think of mobs he'd seen in great numbers, not coming up with much.

Lalna pressed himself up to the opposite wall, making himself small with arms clasped tight over his middle, hugging himself. He swallowed again, and said, "They were . . . small. And humanoid. And I didn't even realize it at first, I swear, and they were aggressive! Please, don't-- I didn't mean to hurt anybody." Lalna squeezed his eyes shut, breathing fast.

"Well, out with it!" Xephos said, his own anxiety ratcheting up as Lalna worked himself into a tizzy. "What in the bloody hell did you kill, Lalna? What's got you so upset?"

"Dwarves."

The word was whispered, and Honeydew barely caught it. It took a moment to process, to understand what Lalna had said, and when he did, Honeydew didn't believe his ears.

"You-- you're joking," he said, a laugh bubbling out of him. "There's not-- there's not dwarves for miles, they don't live around here! I would have found them!" Honeydew hadn't seen a dwarf since the day he left his home, there was no way Lalna had happened upon any, that he had . . .

When Lalna looked up, his eyes were wet, tears threatening to fall. "They were underground," he said, shaking. "They came at me! Me and Nano both, I swear, I wouldn't have if I-- and I didn't realize-- I'm sorry!" He hung his head, breathing hard, hands clasped together. "I'm sorry, Honeydew, I would have told you if I'd known, if I'd even thought about it."

"You killed dwarves?!" Xephos shrieked, so high his voice was like a flute scrapping out of his throat. "What the hell? Where did you even find them?"

"Nano and I were exploring!" Lalna said, throwing his hands up. "We went into this cave and there were dozens of them! They went after us, I nearly lost all of my equipment! Nano too, we both got hurt. We didn't have a choice."

Dozens. Honeydew stared at the floor, hands limp by his side. They'd seen dozens of dwarves, running underground, and chose to kill them all. His own kind.

"They weren't . . . like you," Lalna said, biting his lip. "They were small, about a foot high, and I don't think they were very smart. Their language was more like growling from what I could hear, and they weren't willing to talk to us. They were more primitive."

"So," Honeydew said slowly, "because they were less intelligent, you thought it was okay to kill them?" He looked up sharply, unable to keep the tears from falling, his cheeks hot. "You thought they were stupid, so you killed them!"

Lalna flinched, stepping as far back as he could in the small space. "No! That's not it at all, Honeydew, please!" He put his hands up as Honeydew marched forward, crowding his space. "Please, I didn't mean--"

"You killed innocent dwarves!" Honeydew roared, clenching his fists and resisting the urge to hit the doppleganger of his friend. "Dozens, you said! You could have stopped to think about what you were doing, and instead, you-- you--"

"Dew, please," Xephos begged, bending down awkwardly in the small space to put his hands over Honeydew's shoulders. "There's nothing for it, he obviously came here to apologize."

"Apologize?" Honeydew spat, glaring at Xephos. "What for? Killing my kin? Not thinking about what he did? His guilt?" He turned a harsh eye back on Lalna. "Would you even have come here if Nano hadn't told you to?"

Lalna sputtered. "Ah, well."

"That's it." Honeydew took a deep breath and let it out shakily. "I don't want you in my sight. Get out, and don't come back."

"What! Honeydew!" Xephos scolded. "You can't just ban him!"

"I said, out." Honeydew broke away from Xephos' hold and grabbed Lalna by the wrist, using every last bit of dwarven strength inside him to yank him to the door and shove him outside. Lalna yelped, falling on his hands and knees, jetpack nearly tipping over his back and onto his head with the momentum. "Don't come back if you still think apologizing for murder makes everything better!" he growled, slamming the door shut and rattling the roof on their tiny, wooden hutch.

Xephos had stood, hands flailing, and he crouched by Honeydew again when the door closed, wrapping thin arms around him and tucking his face into the back of Honeydew's neck. "Dew," he said, voice low and soft. "That was a bit harsh, wasn't it? Lalna likes us just as much as, well, our Lalna."

"He killed dwarves, Xeph," he said weakly, and the tears came back, falling down his cheeks and splattering across Xephos' sleeves where they wrapped around his shoulders. "I can't believe he could just-- and then tell me about it, expecting some kind of forgiveness or relief, or whatever."

"They weren't like you," Xephos said, pressing a kiss to Honeydew's cheek. "You heard Lalna, they were small, and not being rational. They hurt him and Nano, the two were only trying to protect themselves."

"Do you think that matters?!" Honeydew spun in Xephos' grip, clutching at his biceps and digging his fingers in harshly. "Do you think I care if they were exactly like me or not?! They were dwarves, and Lalna knew they were dwarves, he killed them all anyway! He killed them all."

Xephos squeezed his shoulders tight as Honeydew raised his arms, fists clenched, and dropped them. He needed to hit something, but there wasn't anything opportune close by, and instead, he slumped against Xephos' chest.

The door clicked, the sound of heavy boots stamping over dirt, and Honeydew looked up sharply. Lalna peeked his head in, a careful hand held tentatively on the door frame. "What's--"

"I thought I told you to get out," he snarled, and Lalna jumped, ducking out and closing the door. He heard a muffled and confused, "Sorry!" from the other side, and only after a moment's thought did Honeydew realize that that hadn't been Nano's Lalna. That was their Lalna, and if he'd come out to investigate, it meant the other Lalna was probably gone.

"Christ." Honeydew put his hands over his eyes, rubbing harshly. "Look at me, Xeph, yelling at him for no good reason."

"I thought you said--"

"The other Lalna needed to be yelled at," Honeydew said, blinking the soreness from his eyes. "He killed dwarves," he said, and the words still sounded foreign and wrong but it was the only way to put it. Lalna had murdered in cold blood.

Well, maybe not cold, if what he said about being attacked was true. And he'd been upset, clearly, so hesitant to say anything, almost crying--

Honeydew shook his head, clearing the thoughts. "Our Lalna didn't do anything," he said, stepping out of Xephos' grip. "I should go say sorry."

Xephos frowned, standing up and crossing his arms. "You should say sorry to both of them."

Honeydew paused, and waved his hand to dismiss the words. "I'm not apologizing to him." He opened the door, almost looking back, to check the expression on Xephos' face, but forced himself to move forward and shut the door behind him.

Lalna had scampered away to the towers, busying himself with a wrench and a heavy machine. Honeydew walked in slow and quiet, pausing by the entrance. Lalna looked up, shoulders hunched. "If you and Xephos want to spend time together, it's fine, but you didn't have to yell at me."

"I-- I know." Honeydew glanced away, and back. "It wasn't that, it was about the other Lalna. He upset me a bit, and I mistook you for him."

Lalna's body relaxed, jaw going slack. "Oh, uh. All right." He looked down, at the machine sitting between his legs, the wrench limp in his hand. "What happened?" he asked quietly, looking up.

Honeydew put his hands on his hips, scuffing a shoe across the floor. "It's not your concern."

"But I want to know, maybe I can help." Lalna sat up earnestly, putting a leg underneath himself as he started to stand. Honeydew put a hand up, stopping him, and shook his head. Lalna plopped back onto the floor.

"Nothing to help, and don't worry about it. I'll-- get over it." Honeydew shrugged, and tried for a smile. Lalna returned it uneasily, and Honeydew sighed, turning to leave the tower. He glanced back as he left, catching sight of Lalna bent over the machine again, and let a genuine smile cross his lips.

Xephos was still in the shed, waiting for him, and Honeydew stopped at the door when he walked in, hands behind his back. Xephos looked up, brow furrowed, and Honeydew shrugged, walking in and sitting with him on their beds, that had been shoved together in the small space.

"He's fine," Honeydew said, leaning automatically into Xephos' side.

"Are you?" Xephos asked, wrapping a long arm around him, easily settling across Honeydew's front with the length of it. Honeydew put both his hands over Xephos' arm and buried himself into his side.

Dwarves, the first of his kind he'd heard of since leaving home. Honeydew never regretted leaving, not after the way he was treated about his aspirations of exploring the skies, but to say he didn't miss the people he'd grown up with for a majority of his life would be lying. He hadn't even had the chance to say goodbye; he'd run away on impulse and frustration and never looked back.

The dwarves Lalna had killed might not have been the same type as him, but they were dwarves all the same. A chance to see and interact with them would have been welcome.

"I'm not sure," Honeydew answered honestly, using one hand to push his helmet up and over his head, letting it thump softly onto the bed. "There were so many ways it could have gone better."

"Lalna's decision about the dwarves, or the way you talked to him?"

Honeydew dug his fingers into Xephos' arm. "Both, I guess."

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, and Xephos pulled them to lie back, over the spread of the beds. There were two windows, one letting the sunlight drape across their forms. On the other side, the gate around their complex and the tower beyond it blocked any light from the other window. Xephos turned his back to the lit window, spooning Honeydew above his gangly legs, and Honeydew looked out the other window at the complex. They both breathed slow, Honeydew willing the tears back. He didn't cry often when he hadn't physically hurt himself, and he didn't care to make it a habit.

"I haven't seen any," he said, quiet. "Not since I left, since I decided they weren't worth losing all of my dreams."

Xephos raised a hand and rubbed his back. "I know. They weren't the same dwarves, Honeydew. You couldn't have made amends with them."

Tucking close under Xephos' chin, Honeydew said, "I know."

It wasn't until a few hours later, when the sun had set and Honeydew had dozed off several times, that the door opened, and Lalna poked his way in. "Guys?" he whispered, stepping in slowly and shutting the door with a soft click. "Are you awake?"

"I am," Honeydew said, opening his eyes. Xephos had fallen asleep, his skin glowing pale blue, much more visible with the sunlight outside fading. Honeydew squeezed his hip, and slipped carefully from his grasp, lest he wake Xephos up. The man needed rest whenever he got it; too many nights were spent in fits, worrying about their work or resources or even just the mobs that came out of caves to shoot arrows and explode their base.

Lalna scrubbed at the back of his neck, trying and failing to meet Honeydew's eyes, though that was due more to the dark than any apprehension on his part. Honeydew spent the time Lalna used to collect himself, to relight some of the torches and give the room a soft, fiery glow. "What's up?" he asked when he'd finished, turning to Lalna with hands on his hips.

"Well, uh." He bit his lip. "I was wondering how you were. And, um, if I could still help with what the other Lalna did? It sounded serious when you yelled at me."

Honeydew sighed, glanced back at Xephos once more, and took Lalna's elbow. "Come on, let's talk outside."

Lalna went willingly, and Honeydew led them outside the hut, just far enough that they wouldn't disturb Xephos, without going near the darker places on the island that proved dangerous at night. It wasn't as dark as he'd first thought, but it was dark enough, and Honeydew stopped them a few good feet from the door. "It's going to sound a bit strange," he said, when he released Lalna.

"You're always strange," Lalna shot back with a playful grin.

Rolling his eyes, Honeydew said, "All right, fair point, but shut up and listen for a minute."

Explaining the events put them in a strange, objective perspective, and as Honeydew started going into it, he felt oddly detached. The dwarves weren't anyone he knew, and though his heart still clenched, it wasn't the same as hearing what had happened, the shock of knowing for the first time. Honeydew took deep breaths in between retelling it, and when he'd finished, he sighed.

Lalna blinked, eyes wide. "That's . . . I guess I understand why you're upset."

"Yeah." Honeydew turned away. "It's a bit bad, in hindsight. He never meant any harm."

"Are you going to apologize?"

Honeydew went stiff, and looked at Lalna. "No, I mean-- how would I even do that?" The other Lalna lived with Nano on the mainlands, and the last thing Honeydew wanted to do was fly all the way out there for a half baked apology. He was shit at apologizing, he could never do it right unless Xephos gave him the words he needed.

Lalna shrugged. "Go visit. It's not that far of a trip, is it?"

Honeydew ran a hand through his beard, frowning. "I suppose not."

Trying to come up with a good way to apologize yielded no results, but Honeydew went to Panda Labs anyway. He stood on the doorstep for too long and debated with himself too much, and in the end, rather than say anything, he left the gift he'd brought for them; some packaged meats and fruit they'd found on trees around the island. Food made everything better, even if Lalna and Nano had plenty for themselves.

He waited out in the forest, scoping out the area and looking for caves, and went back an hour later to find the basket of food gone, and a sign left in its place. He stepped up to read it, squinting at the thin scrawl.

Thanks for the food, we'll try not to kill dwarves again.

It didn't sound like Lalna's words, and when Honeydew heard a giggle, he jumped, and looked up.

Nano was sitting on the edge of the roof, holding the basket, her jetpack leaking smoke behind her. "Thanks again," she said, and held up the food. "But Lal was never mad at you. He was worried you would never speak to him again, actually."

Honeydew opened his mouth, and shut it, pushing his chest out. "I would never do something like that. He's Lalna. Maybe not our Lalna, but--"

"Yeah, I get it." Nano jumped down, her jetpack slowing her fall until she stood next to Honeydew, looking down at him. She was the only person close to his height, and that more than anything else put Honeydew at ease when in her presence. "Taking care of the kids, right?" she said, smiling.

Honeydew nodded absently, swallowing. "Yeah, yeah. And you-- you really didn't mean to do it, did you?"

"Of course not." Something like guilt crossed her face, wiped away quickly. "And we won't do it again, not even if they attack us. Lalna was torn up for weeks, I practically had to shove him over to your island."

"He was?" Honeydew's brow furrowed, and he thought of how Lalna had been, near tears and stuttering to get the apology out. "I suppose I didn't notice after I got . . . upset."

"Right. So, thanks for the food." Nano hefted the basket, switching it to one hand and swinging it lightly at her side. "I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, sure. Around." Without thinking, Honeydew stuck out a hand. Nano blinked at it, and accepted the handshake, her touch firmer than her dainty fingers would have made him think. "Keep taking care of him," Honeydew said. "He's not ours, but he's important, you know?"

"Naturally." Nano took a step back, towards their front door. "Come visit when you aren't trying to make an apology, all right? Panda Labs isn't the most bustling place, and we could use some visitors."

Honeydew glanced up at the high chimney stacks, the red wood and marble that spoke of Lalna's design, both practical and aesthetically pleasing, a trait Nano's Lalna still shared with his own. "I will," he said, and kicked into the air, switching his jetpack to flight mode. "See you around, Nano."

She smiled again, waving as Honeydew turned around and flew back home.

Credit to chailattemusings on Ao3