Thank you otakuanime72 for the new cover of BBW! Super fitting! :) xoxo!

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- KIM JONGIN -

Sehun picked up a rock from the ground and threw it back after a second, sighing in frustration. We're near the gates of the school and students meet up with their friends, gossiping about the new trend of clothes and hair. I had lived long enough to know the oldest of trends and it's ironic how I envy these mortals them so much.

"Last night, I slept outside the mansion," Sehun murmured, his lips barely opening. I looked away, sniffing the air for any familiar scent. I am able to catch Baekhyun's smell. Also Kris and the others. I grunted and glanced at Sehun fast.

"Why?"

Sehun gave me a look like I must know the answer. "They hate us," he murmured. "They don't believe anything you said."

I pursed my lips. "I told them the whole truth." I answered and I felt suddenly tired fighting over this. "I have nothing to explain anymore." We're near the gates now and I could feel Sehun's annoyance radiating out of his body.

"The pack hates your rules." Sehun hissed angrily.

I stopped on my tracks and Sehun did the same. "And?" I hissed back, stepping closer to him until I could stare at his eyes intently. Sehun started to back away as a shade of red crossed over my eyes, making him shiver in fright. "You hate it, too? Tell me."

Sehun averted his gaze and his frustration fades away. "Like Baekhyun," he whispered in a voice too low. "I'm afraid, too. I just found this pack ten years ago, Jongin. I'm not ready to be kicked out of it." When he looked at me again, his face is a mixture of fear and regret and I don't blame him. I entered the mansion this morning to be greeted by glares and murmurs from the members of the pack. Even the youngsters hate me.

It's just that, I can't blame anyone at all.

"I'm not being selfish here." I whispered as I stepped back from him, my body finally relaxing. "I love Kyungsoo, I do. But I also want what's best for this pack, Sehun. I see the young and I know they can't live the way we're living now. It's a difficult world and we can't give them that." I looked at Sehun, watching for any reaction of doubt on his face. But he clenched his jaw and nodded at me. He suddenly looks really determined.

"Of course," he said firmly.

"They will understand." I whispered as we continued on our way. "They have to."

I tried to catch him where I would most likely see expect his presence. I didn't bother smelling the air for his scent, I know where to guess. 

And thankfully, my judgement wasn't wrong.

He pulled out a dagger from a pocket on his hips when the door of the journal office was pushed open. I was surprised he could move that fast but I didn't wince. I stopped by the door, looking down at him with wide eyes. He's sitting on his chair with a pile of paper on top his table.

"Kyungsoo," I whispered and he slowly lowered his knife, embarrassed.

He placed the dagger back in its pouch. "Jongin," he heaved a heavy sigh. "What are you doing here?" Kyungsoo returned his eyes on the papers in front of him and he seemed uncomfortable. I don't know if it's just me or it's the truth.

I ignored his question as I stepped inside, closing the door behind me. "Who taught you that?" I asked, frowning at him. "Did they give you a knife?"

"Oh. That." Kyungsoo bit his lip, looking away. "It's for self-defense."

"For what?" I walked over a table and I pulled myself up to sit on it. "To protect yourself from me?" I recognized the table I am sitting on to be Baekhyun's and I grabbed a small porcelain figurine of a doll from it, twisting it on my palm. The surface is as cold as the atmosphere right now.

I could feel Kyungsoo slipping away.

"I told you, I can't lose you." I whispered without looking at him. I can't let him see how I need him too much that losing him would be a sure death. I can't let him see in my eyes how desperate I am to let him stay. I have that enough pride left for myself.

"My Mom needs me," Kyungsoo whispered and the air started to thicken with a sense of despair and dread. It's too heavy I found it hard to breathe.

I finally looked up at him. "How about me, Kyung?" I asked in a low voice. "Do you think I don't need you? Do you think I could even live without you?"

Kyungsoo pulled himself up and he backed away, taking a few steps far from me. "Jongin, please. Don't make me choose." even his voice is shaking and he stares at me with fearsome eyes like he's afraid I might hurt him. Could he really think like that after everything that happened between us?

I clenched the figurine between my hand. "I can't put you in that situation, Kyungsoo." I whispered as I stared into his eyes. "I'm not making you choose from anything. We were fine. And those Hunters came and you just feel so far away now." I lowered my gaze and I realize how him pushing me away pains me too much right now. "You're so far away... Too far."

"Jongin, I..." he started but I don't want to hear anything anymore. Not now.

I gently placed the doll back on the table. "I'd better go." I whispered, shaking my head slowly. "Maybe sometime we could talk..."

"I love you, Kim Jongin." Kyungsoo blurted out and when I looked at him again, there are tears in his eyes and his hands are clenched on either sides of him. He pursed his lips as he tried to blink the tears away. "I really, really do. But everything is just so messed up right now, can't you see that?"

"You can't say you love me and finish me off with that statement, Kyungsoo." I said, my own voice dropping to something I don't recognize. "I need you."

Kyungsoo covered his face with his hands, sobbing. "I know. I know." he cried as he wiped his face with his fingers. And that's when I noticed the wounds covering them. In an instant, I'm in front of him, taking his hands between mine and inspecting them.

"What are these?" I hissed, glaring at him. "What did they do to you?"

He tried to pull back his hands but I just held them tighter. "Jongin," he muttered. "I'm fine. I swear, I'm fine." Kyungsoo's tears continued to flow from his eyes but I fought the urge to wipe them away. I'm afraid I'll freak him out and he'll step away again.

"Tell me," I begged as I tried to catch his gaze. "I want to know."

Kyungsoo met my eyes and they're too sad I felt my heart breaking into pieces. "I-I'm," he inhaled a lungful of air as he tried to stop his sobs. "I'm training to fight. They said I need to learn."

I felt a growl rise to my throat. "What?" I sneered.

"It's the archery lessons, I guess." Kyungsoo tried smiling but failed. "Or the training with knives. I'm not sure." He sniffed and I slowly reached out to touch his face. When his cheek is already a few inches away from my fingers, I stopped, watching his reaction.

"Okay?" I breathed and Kyungsoo looked into my eyes. He pursed his lips and nods slowly. I can't express how glad I am to be able to touch his face like this again. I slowly wiped his tears away and Kyungsoo closed his eyes, sighing in comfort. "I could protect you." I whispered as I leaned down at him so I could meet his eyes perfectly. "You don't have to train yourself for anything."

"They said you'd kill me." Kyungsoo whispered back as he peeked at me through his lashes. "So I have to protect myself."

I ran my thumb over the smoothness of his skin. "And you believe that?" I asked. "You think I could do that?"

Kyungsoo blinked and he seemed dazed for a while, just studying my face with his eyes traveling over my nose and lips. He looked at me like he's seeing me for the first time and a small smile slowly formed on his pretty lips. He touched my hand that's on his cheek. "No," he breathed. "I don't."

He kissed me. And I thought of nothing else.

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