I know these are hard questions to answer but I felt, I had to tell myself, as well as other people or I won't ever be able to accept myself. This is kind of like a tag, but I'm not going to tag anyone because a) this was completely by choice and b) tbh I don't know many people on here, soo...

1.) Are you depressed?

Yes, I know I am. I haven't told anyone IRL, so I've never got checked out, but no one feels this way for so long and can pass it of as a bad day. 

2.) When did you start to feel well depressed?

In my last year of primary school. All of the friends I had had for 7 years were turning away from, onto another two girls called Natalie and Vanessa. I'm not blaming them, and I'm not saying they weren't nice but it was pretty devastating for 10 year old me. Then there were groups. You know when the teacher tells you to go into groups of 3/4/5/6/7 and even 2? Well I was always that one person who would get left out. So if I stood with my "friends" they would all be like, well Sarah, you were last here soo.... And then that was it. I got kicked out. Weeks of this killed me. Weeks of teasing, being rejected, laughed at, wound up, told of, being blamed for stuff I never did, very nearly destroyed me. Eventually I excepted that they didn't want me. So I put on this don't care attitude and just walked. They couldn't care less to be honest, I think they were happy to see me go. I told Alexa (it wouldn't let me tag you, but Silver) about this. Honestly I was broken. I know they are little things but they were like hundreds of tiny hammers chipping away at my self confidence. I guess they were trying to impress Natalie and Vanessa but, If they were then I guess I was better of without them. There was one other girl in my year, who I had honestly never payed any notice to. The other girls didn't so I excepted that. Her name was Fran. She saved me. We worked everyday on the gardens, which nobody else cared about, watering them every break and lunch. Talking the whole time. We always went together. You could have put us with a dead salmon and a zombie and we wouldn't have complained, we had each other now. I started to notice things, about Fran. There was one girl in my old group, who had something against her. She wasn't the nicest anyway, but she was horrible to Fran. She would wind her up and make her shout at her, then Louise would push her, and Fran was small so she went flying. I wanted to kill her then, But I had perfected my stay cool attitude by now, I told Louise to back of, went and helped Fran up. We went into the garden where she cried while I hugged her and told it didn't matter, she was gone back to Vanessa to report. I hated them. Over time another outcast joined us, a girl called Lola. She had found her safety by hanging out with boys, and staying well away from Vanessa and her gang. We were friends and thing got better. We stuck together through everything. I was head girl, and on the media team, in charge of writing the newsletter, in the music section, one day I went in after watering the garden, with Fran and Lola, to see the team all around the table. "Oh did I miss something?" - me. "Oh no, it's fine Sarah, we did your bit."- Another cronie called Hannah (she was always best friends with whoever was popular at the time) I don't know why but this cracked right through my don't care shell and I ran out off the room crying while they laughed behind me. Fran saw me run into the toilets and followed me in. "What did they do, what did the bitches do now?" demanded Fran as she hugged me. She hugged and dried away my tears and at that moment I appreciated her more than anything. Then she stormed in and I'm sure she would have skewered them all with safety scissors if the teacher hadn't been with them. "...then she ran of into the toilets Miss," said Hannah. That's when I walked in and stood next to Fran, well shes fine now said the teacher. What was it you wanted to say Fran. I pulled her out and we went to tell Lola. When we left, Vanessa came in crying, I'm going to miss you all so much. I was perfectly dry eyed. I couldn't wait to leave that horrible place and start again. I was the only one going to my posh new private school, where I was sure I wasn't going to fit in. So while the gang sobbed I videoed the whole thing with a slight smile on my face. When I hugged Fran and gave her and Lola my phone umber we left with plans for meeting up and days out. While the rest of them sobbed and hugged, we strolled out of the school gates arm in arm, without a care in the world.

This has turned into a full blown story and I would like to say that this is the happily ever after. I can't do  justice to how horrible it was to live the through the first part of that year, there is of course more but those are the main things I remember. I still find it hard to trust people and once I do I do so completely. If you get a little piece of my heart then you have to be very careful as it has been sellotaped back and could break again easily. If we ever go into groups and there are too many of us then I will just walk out, it's much easier than being told to go. You don't have to do these question and I thought I would have time to answer more but, that last one took ages. I do have more to tell, and maybe I will continue it, but for now goodbye everyone. I'm sorry if you got upset (I don't think you will) but I had to do it. TBC.