Hey guys.

Just to start with, I'm really sorry. I didn't want to write this. And just to clarify 100% that none of this is your fault.

You guys, you are my rocks. You're my rockery. With a little water feature in the middle. You've helped me so, so much. And I love you guys I really do. I think you deserve more than just that so....

Electra-Fied - Since that very first day you have always been kind and helpful and supportive and funny and smart and strong and beautiful and so very you. You know exactly who you are, where your strengths and I'm so happy that I found you. You have always been there for me, and we've had some fun times. The elks. I love you my jack septic eye angel.

MiaSmith344 - I never really made a desiciom to be your friend Mia. I read some of your stuff, and you were friends with my friends and then one day you commented. You helped. You made a promise and I'm sorry I can't keep it. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being there. Thank you for all the updates and messages and the never ending patience when my messages came through in the wrong order, or just never came through at all. I love you.

fandomztrash - I'm not sure what to. Like I said to Electra every since I first read your book I was like, I have a twin. We were tragically separated at birth. She is now living semi-happily and I have found her! I hope things get better for you and thank you for all the advice and for always being sooo relatable. I love you.

@a_simple_youtuber  - You are like the big sister that I never had. ( I really hope that you are a woman, because I don't think we ever had that conversation) Thank you for all the advice and support and comments and tips and messages and... thank you so much for everything. You've helped me so much and I'm really sorry things didn't work, but thank you for making sure I gave it my best shot. I know that we mainly talked about my problems, but I really hope things work out for you in the future, because you truly deserve to be happy. You all do. I love you.

To everyone else. I'm sorry I don't have time to mention you all but Kathy (Silvers friend) and rose for everything too. Thanks you guys.

If you want to know why, it's because simply, I am not strong enough. I need to pass my pain onto someone else, because while together they can take it, alone, I just can't do it. I am so, so tired. I just want to rest. I just want to have peace. I just want to be happy, or at least not sad. I need time, but right now the only way out of my world is to jump right off the edge. Metaphorically. I don't have a cliff and I'm scared of heights. So thank you. All of you. And I'm sorry I'm not strong enough, but I know that you are. I'm sorry I can't be happy anymore, but I know that you can. And I know that you should be all of you. And listen to me. Don't you dare go using this as an excuse to break. Because that would break my heart. I want you all to live long happy lives. You won't remember me after a while. But I will remember you always. Because you guys are one of the best things that have ever happened to me. So please. Tell someone. Talk to someone. You have each other and I know you will get through whatever life had in store for you.

And if my mum finds this. It's not you mum. You've been the best mum anyone could ask for and I love you and never forget that, you deserve better, than a messed up daughter. Please don't forget me, but please don't lose yourself looking for me because I'm fine now. I'm peaceful now. And I love you. 

To everyone who I've hurt I'm sorry. To everyone that has hurt me, even if they don't know it I'm sorry. I don't havr anything worth leaving to anyone, and aside from you, anyone worth leaving it to. 

To finish:

So thank you all guys.

I love you, truly and I'm so happy for the time that we have had together because without you I wouldn't have had anyone to write this to.

Goodbye guys.

I'm sorry.

Sarah.

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