I DIDN'T THINK I COULD LOSE ANYONE ELSE.

No one else.

Meg had left me for the Beast, Nero when we were in the Grove of Dodona.

Jason... Whilst fighting Caligula...

He knew the moment he faced Caligula, he would die instead of Piper. He could have chosen not to go. Yet he sacrificed his life, battling against the prophecy, knowing he would die, just to keep us away from Caligula, to give us time to escape.

I owed him so much. Demigod lives were worth so much more than what we gods had thought.

Maybe even more than gods.

They had the ability to think differently, to change and to develop. Gods did not change. Gods did not see the need to do so.

It was because of this, I did not see fit to check the Oracles often. I felt no need to change my schedule, even remotely.

Then all these lives were going to be sacrificed because of me.

Even one life was too much. I did not deserve the loss of these people, no matter demigod or whoever.

I had even joked with Crest about him becoming a music god. I had joked with him that he would make it.

But I had not joked about teaching Crest how to play a instrument. I did not mind teaching him even how to play the ukelele, despite him having too large fingers for this (I told him a guitar would be better!)

After all, I still had to teach Meg to play piano, I had promises to keep.

I could imagine the Goddess of Styx staring down at me, anger and bitterness swirling in her eyes as the promise I swore on her continued to be further broken.

Two people's deaths were on me. I knew my broken promises were behind it.

Berating myself for creating these promises in the first place, a lone tear streaked down my face silently while we were on the helicopter that Piper had lent us, her last and parting gift to us.

It was because of me, these friends, lovers were separated. Leo had lost Jason, a friend. Piper had lost the love of her life. Despite them breaking up, I knew they still loved each other, so deeply.

I could not live with these consequences on my shoulders, the guilt weighing more than my mortal body could handle.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I could not teach Crest music, despite that being my promise to him so he would not attack us.

I owed him so much more than music lessons.

He was so young, so inexperienced and so hopeful.

I'm sorry that Jason had to die, valiantly or not. Caligula did not deserve to have killed Jason Grace.

He was entitled to a long life, where he could enjoy it and live happily with Piper.

Now he was dead, and the friends had gone separate ways because of me.

I'm sorry.

Guilt washed over me, both deaths dragging me down into the dark abyss, where my heart had been thrown into.

I was not justified a happy, godly life, even if I managed to restore all the Oracles.

Sorry did not cut it. I could never make up for the mistakes I made.

Yet all I could say was,

sorry.