Gerard was well aware that he looked like an idiot as Frank practically dragged him down Heaven's corridors, and he was sure that if he caught sight of his reflection in a mirror, it would be hilarious; he could feel his eyes trying to pop out of his skull as he drank in the numerous wonders around him, his mouth was drying out from how wide it was hanging open, his neck was constantly twisting in every direction possible to allow himself to observe Heaven from every angle, but he honestly didn't care how ridiculous he came off as, because he was in Heaven, and fuck - it was even more amazing than he had imagined it would be.

Actually, Gerard wasn't sure what he had expected Heaven to be like, he had never really given it much thought until yesterday, hell - he hadn't truly believed it had existed until just now, but Heaven lived up to its glorious reputation, even though it was a bit more modern than Gerard had expected, but according to Brendon, they were technically in the angel barracks, which were very different from the area where humans went after they died.

But even for a structure built with function in mind instead of beauty, Gerard still found his breath catching in his throat as he gazed at the sweeping architecture. The tall ceilings coupled with numerous stained glass windows and billowing curtains had Gerard's internal interior designer swooning, but that was nothing compared to the winged beings striding to and fro, their varying feathers capturing Gerard's interest even more rapidly than the marble surrounding him.

Gerard's head began spinning as he attempted to comprehend the fact that he was actually in Heaven, with angels breathing the same air he was, and God supposedly somewhere in the nearby vicinity. He suddenly felt the urge to take a moment to draw in a deep inhale, hoping that the sudden rush of oxygen would clear his muddled thoughts, but the opposite seemed to happen, and for a split second, Gerard truly thought he might faint, but a calming touch from Frank helped to ground him once more, and he was able to continue onward with only the faintest tremors wracking his body.

Gerard was still reeling slightly from the portal trip here, which had been terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time, despite the fact that Gerard was slightly disappointed that they weren't able to fly to their destination, but when Ryan had pointed out that they might suffocate in the thinner atmosphere, Gerard had to concede to their logic, and Frank's promise that he would take Gerard into the skies as soon as they had gotten their wings back had mollified his crushed expectations.

Wings - fuck, Gerard was going to have wings, and even though they wouldn't be as beautiful as Brendon's, because apparently demon's appendages were not pleasing to the eye, Gerard was still excited to possess them, although a small part of him felt a pang of jealousy whenever he spied a new set of plumage. Gerard would much rather be an angel than a demon, but it didn't seem like he had much of a choice in the matter.

Gerard hadn't even really considered the implications of everything that was about to happen to him, because despite his assurances to Frank, he had been very doubtful about this entire thing until Brendon and Ryan had arrived, and even then, Frank's words were only just now sinking in fully. The shock of the situation was wearing off as Gerard came to accept that there was so much more to him than just a normal human, allowing a slew of apprehensive emotions to take their place.

Gerard was truly afraid of what it would feel like to be transformed into a demon, because he didn't want to become evil, which is what he had previously assumed demons to be, but after he had voiced his worries to Frank during their short journey to the portal, Frank had promised him that he wouldn't be, swearing that demons could choose to stand with either Heaven or Hell, and Gerard had already made that decision in the life which he couldn't remember, but still, that didn't completely eliminate the coiling tendrils of fear that wrapped around Gerard's stomach whenever he thought about what he would soon be.

"You okay love?" Frank asked softly, his hand which Gerard had clutched onto as soon as they entered the portal squeezing his lightly, bringing Gerard's attention back to his husband and away from the beautiful scenery.

"Yeah...just overwhelmed," Gerard murmured quietly, his eyes locking onto a mousy haired angel who seemed to be staring his way, but as soon as Gerard caught the man's gaze, he turned his back suddenly, his black haired companion whispering something into his ear as the two of them disappeared down an adjacent hallway.

"You are doing so well though," Frank replied softly, his voice cracking slightly as he continued. "Thank you for trusting me, I can't imagine how hard this is for you without any memories."

"I would follow you anywhere Frank, even to a place that I was convinced didn't exist."

"Have I told you I love you today?" Frank giggled under his breath, his hold on Gerard's hand falling away, but only so he could wrap his arm around Gerard's waist affectionately.

"Maybe, but one more time wouldn't hurt," Gerard smirked, his head dipping down so he could steal a quick kiss before facing forward once more.

"So where are we going exactly?" Frank asked, directing his question toward Brendon who had paused his rapid stride once Frank had spoken.

"Your room for right now, we kept it the same over all these years. God will meet with you both soon, but until then, there is nothing to do besides sit back and enjoy a few moments of peace."

"Is everyone else still here, Ray, Billie, Mi-" Frank paused mid-sentence, shooting Gerard a worried look, to which Gerard simply furrowed his brow in confusion, because none of those names meant anything to him, and he didn't understand why Frank was reacting in such a negative fashion.

"Yes they are, but it would probably be best to reunite with them after the process of having Gerard's memories restored has been completed," Brendon responded, his hands clenching together softly at his sides. "Ry, can you go inform God that they are here now, they probably already know, but better safe than sorry."

"Of course, I'll be in our room afterward if you need me," Ryan nodded, pressing a swift kiss to Brendon's cheek before peeling off quickly, his footsteps ringing out harshly against the gleaming floors.

"Why do I feel like you are hiding something from me?" Gerard asked warily, because the last time Frank had seemed this shaken up had been the other morning before Frank had admitted to the fact that he was actually an angel, and Gerard didn't know how many more surprises his heart could take before it gave out completely.

"It's nothing bad love...just - we both had very strong relationships with a lot of the people here, and Brendon is right, it would be best to wait and see them until after you can recall what they mean to you," Frank explained vaguely, and even though Gerard wanted to know more, he could sense that Frank was only trying to protect him, so he kept his mouth shut, trapping the thousands of questions bubbling up in his throat from escaping past his lips.

"Come on, it isn't much further now," Brendon spoke up, diffusing the awkward tension as he began walking again.

Gerard allowed himself to be distracted, following behind the angel as he did his best not to waste his brain cells trying to decipher what Frank had been so reluctant to tell him, because he would find out soon enough, so worrying over it was pointless, and without his memories, he probably wouldn't be able to reach a correct hypothesis either way.

~~~

"Oh my god Gerard - come here and look at this," Frank exclaimed, his excited tone instantly pulling Gerard away from his examination of a painting hanging on the off-white wall to face his husband who was currently seated on the edge of what had once been his mattress, and now was again.

Brendon had left them to get settled in Frank's old room, promising that he would be back as soon as God was ready to begin their transformation, providing Frank and Gerard with a small amount of alone time to try and process everything before they were thrust headfirst into what was apparently a heated battle that was only waiting for them to lead it.

Frank's quarters were surprisingly plain, but Gerard concluded that it did make sense. He had seen at least a hundred angels today alone, and giving them each extravagant bedrooms would most likely be difficult, even though this was Heaven, but whatever, Gerard's head hurt enough as it was without pondering this pointless question.

Still, it was a decent space, the bed was wonderfully soft, and there was an impressive sword leaning against the far corner which Frank had smiled at fondly when they first walked in, his thumb brushing against the hilt in a loving fashion. Gerard was getting slightly antsy now though, he had already gone through Frank's closet, which had held nothing of interest, and there was only so long he could stare at the one painting that graced the otherwise simple room before succumbing to boredom.

"What is it?" Gerard asked, eager for a distraction of any kind, crawling over the sheets so he could peer down at the leather bound book Frank was clutching tightly in his tattooed hands.

"This is my old angel log, it is where I recorded almost everything that happened, starting with the day I met you," Frank smiled, a slight sheen of tears coating his irises as he stroked the cover fondly.

"You kept a diary?" Gerard chuckled, the sound escaping his lips without his consent, but he honestly couldn't imagine Frank doing anything of the sort, even though this had been a different version of the husband he knew and loved.

"Hey - you did too...wait - I swear I had it here somewhere." Frank jumped off the bed suddenly, his fingers pushing the mattress up, causing Gerard, who was still on top of it to slip down against the wall with a stifled chuckle. "Found it," Frank exclaimed, emerging with a second volume, and when he opened up one of the pages at random, Gerard was surprised to see his own handwriting staring back at him.

"Can I read it?" Gerard asked, curious to see what he had penned down about his former life as a demon, even though he already knew the answer before it reached his ears.

"Are you sure...it would probably better if you -"

"I know, I should wait," Gerard pouted, his bottom lip sticking out as Frank placed both books on top of a nearby dresser with an air of finality.

"I'm sorry love, I just don't want to overwhelm you."

"I know sugar, you are only looking out for me, but still, I can't help the fact that I'm curious," Gerard sighed, stretching out his limbs so he could latch his hands onto Frank's hips, successfully dragging him back down against the mattress before wrapping himself around him in a loving embrace.

"Well it won't be long now before you will know everything."

"What am I supposed to do until then?" Gerard questioned, adding a teasing lilt to his voice, even though he didn't really plan on getting up to anything when Brendon or anyone else for that matter could turn up at any moment. "Tell me your favorite memory about our old life," Gerard added on quickly, choking back a laugh as Frank's face fell with disappointment before he regained his adorable grin.

"Oh god - there are so many," Frank murmured softly, his eyes glazing over slightly as his mind fell back into the past. "I think it would have to be the first time you told me you loved me."

"Yeah?" Gerard prodded gently when Frank remained silent for a few moments, eager to hear more about the situation that he had no recollection of.

"We were high up on a cliff, taking a break from a long flight, and I was upset. I had recently killed another angel that had refused to understand that I was in love with a demon. He - he threatened you, and I couldn't let him hurt you, so I did what I had to do, but I still felt so guilty."

"Oh Frank..." Gerard murmured soothingly, pulling Frank against his chest gently as Frank continued to speak.

"My wings had changed, that happens with angels when we commit a sin, they turn darker with each transgression, and you noticed, but you didn't understand what it meant, still - when you pointed it out, I snapped, I broke down crying actually, and then I yelled at you when you tried to insist that they were still beautiful."

"What happened then?"

"You forced me to let you see them, even though I was trying to hide them from you, but you insisted. You looked over each feather slowly, taking your time, and I was so scared that you would see how disgusting I had become, but of course you didn't. Once you were done, you told me that I was flawless and that you loved me. I don't think you meant to say it, you looked so shocked when it slipped out, but I had already loved you for such a long time at that point, and hearing those words at my weakest moment was exactly what I needed. You were always doing things like that - hell, you still do," Frank choked out, a few tears running down his cheeks as he pressed his face into Gerard's t-shirt.

"Oh sugar, fuck - I can't wait until I remember that," Gerard exhaled heavily, his own eyes stinging slightly as Frank cried softly in his arms.

"Me either, but at the same time, I wish you didn't have to go through this. Not all of those memories are good, and I wish I could keep them from you."

"I don't care, I would give anything to have those experiences back, no matter how much horror comes with them, because you are worth it, not to mention I have friends I can't even recognize, people I love that I feel nothing for, and I want them back, I want this life back as long as you are here with me," Gerard stated defiantly, trying to prove to Frank that he was ready for whatever came next, because he was now, of that he was certain. This was important, and Frank needed him, so Gerard would gladly suffer through whatever unpleasantness was to come so he could stay by his husband's side.

"You are the most incredible, selfless, amazing, loving person I have ever met," Frank grinned weakly as Gerard's thumb snaked out, gently brushing away the few tears that still clung to Frank's cheeks stubbornly.

Gerard's heart thrummed rapidly against his ribcage as he stared down at his husband, because even though he was used to compliments by now, this moment was so heavy. Frank's sorrow had intensified his statement more than any other declaration of adoration that he had ever uttered before, and Gerard had no idea how to express his thoughts in that moment. He had almost forgotten how to form words, his love for Frank was overwhelming all of his mental capacities, and no matter how hard he tried to speak, his tongue lay heavy and thick in his mouth.

A knock on the door saved Gerard from responding, followed by Brendon's familiar face peeking around the doorframe. "God is ready if you are."

"Give us one second," Frank spoke up first, to which Brendon nodded in acquiescence before disappearing back into the hallway.

"I love you," Gerard choked out, his arms tightening around Frank as if someone was going to rip the two of them apart at any moment.

"I love you too, so fucking much," Frank replied, his hands wrapping around Gerard's neck as he tugged his mouth downward for a quick kiss, Frank's previous tears leaving behind a salty taste on his lips which Gerard drank in eagerly.

And in that moment, Gerard forgot about everything else, all worries involving angels, and demons, and the end of the world flew out of his head, because in the end, none of that really mattered, Frank trumped everything, and Gerard was more than happy to push the rest of the world away and simply enjoy the sensation of having Frank's body pressed against his, because this was what would carry him through whatever terrors were awaiting him once he was able to recall his past, so he chose to live in the present until he was forced to face the future.

Okay so I am officially taking this story off hold, I don't know how regular updates will be, but apparently I have my inspiration back, so I will try to keep up with this along with my other fics.

I have nothing to say, and I am super tired, so enjoy you guys, I love you.

Chapter dedicated to emoindisguise

((((updating vibes))))

<3 starr