Blasting music because of the Slot Machine band performance, red lights from the stage lights that signify the color of the band, the top of lung screams from the fans, and their singing along with the band. Things I never thought I would witness in this country.

This is our third stop for our Asian World tour, and I'm so amazed at how fans welcome us. What I thought was different from what I see now. At the airport, there weren't that many people who greeted us. Well, we somehow expected it because we saw in posts on Twitter that our fans club admins had reminders regarding welcoming us at the airport. Not to mention that the airport security itself is so strict to the point that you cannot get inside if you are not a passenger. The world tour ticket didn't sell out either. So, I never expect much. I thought it was the same in the two countries we went to.

But this? This is really beyond my imagination. Their scream filled the entire venue. When they sing along to the song, it's even amazing. The lyrics are not their own language but they memorized it and they sing it so loudly. We were surprised at the opening earlier of the Slot Machine because of it.

And because of these unexpected things, I'm even more nervous. I was so nervous that I even vomited earlier. Good thing I didn't eat that much. I was planning to eat more after the concert.

I heaved a deep sigh and played with my finger. I keep on chanting in my mind that I need to calm down. That I need to calm down so I don't make mistakes and disappoint the fans. But as soon as I hear fans scream again, my heart beats faster. The louder the fans scream, the louder my heart pound. It's like competing in the sport of sound and noise.

"Hey, are you okay?" Bible who is sitting beside me held my hand and gently squeezed it. My head is resting on his shoulder. His smell somehow makes fifty percent of my nerves calm down.

"Mmm," I answered followed by a nod.

"You sure? Your hand is cold. Should I call P'Pond?

He held my head and moved his body a little closer to me, then he rested my head on his chest.

"No need. I'm fine. I'm just nervous." I answer as I hold his hand.

"Don't be nervous babe. You are pretty. For sure they will love you."

I didn't answer. I just nodded my head as an answer to what he said.

"Sweet as ever." P'Tong sat beside me and hugged my waist.

"My boyfriend is nervous." Bible answer.

"Seriously, Bible? I know, we know that you are boyfriend. Please don't use that word with us. Just call him babe. We already know who you're talking about. Don't slap us with that BOYFRIEND word because we are already aware that we are single." P'Tong said as he rolled his eyes at the Bible.

"You're not single phi. P'Pong is there and you are in a relationship too." Bible said while holding his laugh.

"Sorry for that. Okay, you can use that BOYFRIEND word to me but not to everyone, please. Have pity on our single community here."

Bible and I laugh at what P'Tong said. Ever since we became a couple, P'Tong always use that SINGLE COMMUNITY words to refer to our single friend. He also use that way back to describe his self when he saw me and Bible being sweet to each other. It was stop when he said yes to Pong a month ago.

"Anyway, are you still go with your plan?" P'Tong asked as he sit properly beside me. He grab my hand and start massaging it.

"I don't know yet. Maybe it depends on how people will welcome me." I answer.

"You're overthinking again." Bible said.

"I'm not, babe. My issue hasn't subsided yet. Even though I've apologized, many people are still angry with me. I understand them. That's why as much as possible, I'll avoid others on cam to reduce the hate comments about mine. I want to act base on our fans reaction."

"There are people who don't know how to give a second chance to others, Bui. They are those people who are so judgmental as if they are perfect. We are not perfect Bui. We are human, and no human is perfect. We all have mistakes. We all have secrets to hide. It's not like we're at an age where we don't know anything about the real world forever. As our age increases, we're exposed to the real world. We gained a lot of experience and we see the different side of the world and it helps us change everything. Even our mindset can be changed by our experiences. And yes, no secrets will keep forever. Our mistakes that we want to hide, we can't hide that forever. But, we can change. And you did. You changed. You use all the second chance your fans gave to you to change. And because of that, people love you more. So, don't overthink too much, okay. Do what you want to do. Do what makes you happy." P'Tong said.

"If I do things I want, many people will be affected. Bible is one of them." I adjusted my seat when I saw P'Mos. He immediately came to me and started fixing my hair.

"Do I look like I care about those haters, babe?" Bible said. P'Mos shriek a little making P'Tong smile and shake his head. P'Mos doesn't seem to be able to get used to Bible and me. He always likes that when he sees Bible and me being sweet. Luckily, the others are used to it already.

"No, babe. But..."

"No, buts Bui. You can do whatever you want. I don't care what others will say. All I care about is you, your happiness, and everything about you."

"Wwwoooii! I don't want to be here anymore." P'Tong stood up and approached Pong. He sat beside him and hugged his waist. I just laughed. P'Tong is such a baby when it comes to Pong.

"Babe." Bible called me.

"Yes?" I looked at him for a moment then turned to P'Mos to thank him for fixing my hair.

"We will do it later okay? We will announce it. And whatever the fans reaction, how will they accept it, I really don't care. If they hate it, then fine. If they accept it, then thank you. All I want is for the world to know that you are mine. That you are my summer, that you are one of the most important person in my life."

"Mmm." I nodded my head and hugged him. This man, since our vacation in Phuket, always gives me the assurance that he will always be beside me. That he will always choose me no matter what happened. He always assured me that it is always me and nothing else. I really don't know how I can match his love for me. How can I surpass everything he does for me? Imagine, with all those issues and hate that are being thrown at me, he is always there, giving me assurance that he doesn't give a shit about what other people say. He is always my shield from haters. He is always lurking around social media, helping our fans to report those accounts that are throwing shade against me. He is the first to get angry whenever I get death threats. When it comes to security, he always tells P'Pond that he is fine and he can manage alone. That I need security more because of the death threats I get than him. I need more protection because someone might suddenly come to me and do bad things to me. I'm always the first thing he worries about than himself.

I am so lucky to have him. And I never thought he would be mine. A lot of girls dream to be his girlfriend, but here I am, standing in this place that everyone wants. And I will do everything I can to make him happy. Whatever it is, I'm ready to do it for him.

"Be ready everyone. You will be up in 15 minutes." One of the staff who organized the concert shouted.

We all stand but Bible suddenly hugged me from behind. He kissed me on my nape giving me some butterflies in my stomach.

"Babe stop it." I said in a low husky voice. Damn his kiss effect on me.

"I love you, babe. Remember, I'm always here whatever happened." Bible whispered in my ears.

I smiled. I turn around and snake my arm around his neck. My babe is so sweet. He deserves a reward.

I kiss him on his lips. It's just a peak. Even though I want to give a long kiss, I will not do it. It's too risky for both of us.

"I love you too babe."

"I love you more... No. I love you the most. Now, grab all your confidence. I'm here. I'm always here."

"Noted that." I give him another peak on lips before I turn my back to him and followed the rest of the gang. P'Pond will scold us again if we don't follow up immediately. He said that I and Bible always stressed him out because we couldn't be separated. Although he said that he can't do anything about it since we are in a relationship already. But he keeps on telling us not to be obvious because the fans' eyes are sharp. But Bib really cares less about it so sometimes P'Pond is the one who makes a way to somehow separate us even for a moment or when we are in a public place like the airport.

The show started with a blast. The fans warm welcome really amazed us. We are all overwhelmed by the way they scream. We don't know where they get their energy from. They scream every performance not to mention that they scream from the top of their lungs. P'Tong said that they never seem to get tired. We are somehow worried and we are very sure that tomorrow, they will have no voice because of the shouting. But still, we are all happy. We never expected this. We are so touched.

"Let's extend for an hour." P'Pond suddenly announced backstage and we all agree. The fans deserve it. Besides, our whole performance is not really over yet. We should really extend the concert so we can give all the performances we have prepared.

Bible came to me. He snaked his arm on my waist and kissed my shoulder.

"Are you tired?" I asked worriedly.

"Overwhelmed." He answered. He rested his head on my shoulder.

"Same." I reach out for his face and caress it gently.

"I told P'Pond about our plan." He caught my hand and kiss it.

"What did he say?"

"He just asked if we are sure about what we are going to do. He said this is not our home country and the chance of a good result and acceptance is very low."

"And?"

"I said, I don't care."

"It might affect your career babe."

"Babe, we already talk about it. We will reveal our relationship in one of our world tours. We will see what country we can announce it and I think this is the best country."

"I know. What I mean is the consequences after that announcement. I know how you strive just to reach this. How much pain you've gone through just to get to where you are now. You work hard for this babe. But it can disappear in an instant."

"Build, I don't care. I can lose everything but not you. I can give up everything, but not you. I really don't care. All I want is that the world knows that you are mine and I am yours. The consequences? I can worry about it later or I can ignore it."

I smile and hug him.

"Thank you and I love you."

"I love you too Build. I love you the most babe."

I smile and hug him tighter. I know, whatever the result of what we do, we will have a hard time. We both work hard to be where we are right now. We've been through a lot. But we can get through this for sure. What's more important is the two of us.

I know Bible wants assurance in our relationship. I want the same. But his words and action are enough for me. Though we can both give words of assurance to each other, telling the world of our real score is different. It was really difficult to reveal our relationship to the public. Criticism will surely throw at us. Hates and everything will surround us. People who hate me will stir an issue, trying to break everything between me and the Bible. But if making our relationship in public will give assurance and peace of mind to Bible, then, I will care less about everything. If he is willing to risk everything, then, I will do the same.

We all went up on stage again. We will give a message to all our fans that attended the concert.

The screaming is so loud the moment we all step on the stage. It's deafening but overwhelming. To be honest, I don't want to talk. Thank you is not enough for the warm welcome they make you feel. I can't find the right words to thank the fans who are with us today.

Before we could even begin to say thank you, a video suddenly played behind us, making all of us surprised. It's a fan-made video that shows what we went through. Of course, we are overwhelmed. We are so touch. Their effort is too much.

I held my tears. I don't want them to see me cry. Tears are the last things I want to show to all of the fans. I want them to see me smile. I want them to see how happy I am with all their effort.

After the video, I know, we all feel the same. Happy, overwhelmed. As I said, this is our third stop but fans in this country made us feel that this is our first concert. This is beyond our expectations.

As we start saying our message, the fans keep on screaming. They give the loudest scream to the person who will speak. They don't really get tired of shouting. P'Tong even asked if they are still okay, worried that they might hurt their throat as they keep on screaming. And when P'tong raised the LGBTQ flag, the scream become even louder. Fans jump for joy and they really show how proud, happy, and overwhelmed they are by P'Tong's words.

Nervous crawled over me when it's my time to speak. I don't know what am I going to say. At the end, I asked them to stay with me forever. I thank them for everything and say I love you to them. After that, I look at Bib and utter sorry.

In my mind, I was planning to reveal our relationship, but when P'Tong says that he proudly represent the LGBTQ community and raised the flag, I was taken aback. I don't want to steal the spotlight from him. I don't want to feel sad tonight because of the hate that people will throw at me if I reveal my relationship with Bible. I already had enough of it with just simple interaction with Apo or P'Mile. Though it's not my intention to be in the spotlight and just want to ask something to them, people always say that I am stealing the attention that is supposed to be from them. So, yeah, I decided to stop myself. Though I want to be the one to reveal our relationship and I know that will make my Bible happy, I have to stop myself.

Bib smiles at me. He simply tapped my back as if he is saying It's okay babe, I got this.

When it's Bible's turn to speak, the scream gets louder, holding Bible to speak and just smile at the crowd. Someone even shouts DADDY I LOVE YOU. I just smile when I hear that. As much as I want that I'm the only one who will call him daddy when it's just the two of us together, of course, I can't stop his fans to call him that. If only they knew that calling him daddy suits him well.

As Bible started to speak, my heart started pounding loud. My head keeps having a lot of what if and I start overthinking. The loud scream and cheers of the fans suddenly became nothing to me as my heartbeat is getting louder and louder.

"And before this night end, I want to share something with all of you hear."

With that word from Bible, I suddenly felt cold. My heartbeat gets loud and my heart pounded hard. If my heart can escape from my chest, I think it's already flying somewhere.

Bible held my hand and pull me closer to him. The crowd suddenly became quiet, or is it? I really don't know. My mind became in mess as Bible my hand squeeze my hand and look at me lovingly.

"You know, behind every success of a man, is a person who supports him in everything and loves him with all his heart. And yeah, I have that person in my life. I have this man, who became my pillar of support, my number one supporter and cheerer. He never failed to uplift me and cheer for me every time I have my solo event and he has his own also. He understands me more than anyone else. His effort is well to make me feel that I am not alone, that he is beside me even though his not physically there is well recognized by me."

"As time goes by, I fall to his charm and kindness. Most of you didn't know how sweet and caring he is not only to me but to every one of us. He is too kind. Then, one day, I woke up and learn that he has already my heart. I open my eyes and realized that I love him more than a brother and an onscreen partner. And yes, I don't want to hide this from everyone. As I share all my success and achievement with all of you, I also want to share with you my happiness. I want to introduce to you, my lover, my baby, my everything, and my world. His name is Build Jakapan."

"Babe." I can't stop my tears from rolling down my cheek as the crowd screamed and went crazy after what Bible said. I don't know what to do aside from crying.

"I love you Build Jakapan. Thank you for existing. Thank you for coming into my life. As you asked the fans to stay with you forever, I will also ask you the same. Can you please stay with me until our last breath?"

"I will." I immediately answer and hug him tightly.

"Thank you. I love you, my baby."

"I love you too my daddy."

The crowd went crazy and our friend is also cheering for us. They are even asking for a kiss from us.

Of course, we give them what they asked. I and Bible kiss each other quickly making everyone crazy and happy.

I don't know where to put my happiness. I can see the fans are happy with the Bible announcement. Maybe not all, but most of them are happy. I can even see others crying while smiling.

My friends who are with us on the stage are also happy. I can see it in their faces as they look at us. All the worries I have inside are gone.

And as I said, the storm will come to me and Bible after this. But I know we can overcome it. As long as we are at each other's side, holding each other's hand, we can get through everything.

More than anything, I am thankful that I have Bible. The person with a holy name but can everyone commit a sin. The person I love the most and I am more than willing to spend my lifetime with him.