BHOCAMP #BlaRis #BHOCAMP10TWC

CHAPTER 42: SUBSCRIBE

ERIS' POV

"Alam mo sa pelikula, hindi ganito ang ginagawa."

Hinapit ako palapit ni Blaze sa katawan niya kasabay nang pagdaan ng kung sino sa tabi ko. "What do you mean?"

"In romantic movies, the characters usually rent the whole place to go on a date."

"We're not in a romantic movie."

"Wala nga. Nasa action movie tayo na mamaya magiging thriller kapag nabangga ako at aksidente kitang nasaksak ng blade."

He planted a soft kiss on my temple before I felt my feet left the ground. Impit na napatili ako at pinalo ko siya sa braso na ikinatawa niya lang.

Hindi naman nagtagal ay inupo niya ako kung saan. Inabot niya ang mga paa ko at siya na ang nagtanggal ng suot ko na sapatos. Nang maramdaman ko na may isinusuot siya sa akin ay napabuntong-hininga ako. "Kailangan ba talaga nating gawin 'to?"

"Ito na lang ang natitira sa bucket list mo. Number ten."

Ngumuso ako, "Pwede naman tayong maghintay na matapos ko muna ang treatment ko. Or we can wait for my happy time."

Nitong nakalipas na dalawang buwan ay mas madalas pa ata akong matagpuan sa ospital kesa sa sarili kong bahay o kay Blaze. Minsan kapag kinakailangan kong magtagal sa BHO CAMP Hospital at inaabutan na kami ng gabi ay mayroon ng kuwarto doon na nakareserba kung saan ako natutulog. At si Blaze. Dahil kahit saan ako pumunta ay nandoon din siya.

The Experiment Department, and Ezio Castenalla and BHO CAMP's doctors, are all teaming up for my treatment. As of today, the flashes of time that I gain back my ability to see have longer period than the first time I experienced it. Blaze and I call it my "happy time" whenever it happens.

Hindi iyon nangyayari araw-araw, but everyone can see the progress. From lasting to less than what seems like three minutes, and now that my longest is almost twenty minutes.

Pero kung ako ang tatanungin ay bawat minuto ng mga nagdaang buwan ay matatawag ko na happy time. With the things we went through, we became more centered. Understanding that life is in deed too short makes every moment special.

Kahit siguro habang-buhay ako na hindi makakita ay mananatili na ganito ang nararamdaman ko. Dahil alam ko na kung ano ang mas importante.

"Why do you want to wait? Are you uncomfortable with doing this right now?"

Napabuntong-hininga ako nang marinig ko ang pagbabago sa tono ng boses niya. He's such a worrier. "I know uncomfortable and this one is not it. Do you remember that time that you want to go with me to the comfort room when I said I needed to pee?"

I don't need to see to be sure that he's currently looking at me through narrowed eyes. I remember telling him, "I know that we want to grow old together, but we're still young and we're not yet in that part of our lives where you get to help me pee.". Wala akong problema na makasama siyang maligo. I won't even mind if he tells me that he want to brush my teeth even though my hands are capable to move. But if we're going to talk about my other "businesses" in the bathroom, then no.

"Then why?" he pressed.

"Because I want you to enjoy this with me too."

"I would." I felt him tightened the laces of the skating shoes I'm now wearing. "Why would you think that I won't?"

"Kasi aalagaan mo pa ako. You'll worry if I fall o kung mabangga ako ng kung sino." Humalukipkip ako. "Ngayon alam mo na kung bakit dapat nirentahan mo ang buong lugar na 'to."

"I would have, my lovable high-maintenance woman, but there's a skating championship coming soon and they won't let me rent it since the skaters would need the rink too." He sat beside me and I felt movement coming from his direction. Mukhang sinusuot niya na rin ang sariling skates. "And of course I'll worry."

"You don't need to be if I can see."

"I will still worry about you even if you can." Naramdaman ko siyang tumayo at ilang sandali lang ay tinulungan niya rin ako na gawin iyon. Instead of guiding me towards the rink, one of his hand went to the small of my back so that he could pull me close. "I can still enjoy things with you regardless if you can see or not. I think the activities we did last night can attest to that."

Nag-init ang mukha ko nang maalala ko ang mga "activities" na pinagagagawa namin kagabi. Gabi kung saan nasubok na naman ang katatagan ni Blaze. Of course he didn't break. Sa aming dalawa ako naman talaga ata ang mas marupok.

"Let's go?"

I sighed again before I nodded. Mabilis niya akong hinalikan sa noo at pagkatapos ay inalalayan niya na ako para maglakad.

"Blaze?"

"Hmm?"

"Naisip ko lang. Marunong ka bang mag-skate? Kasi kung hindi, parang hindi magandang idea ang ginagawa natin."

"I know how."

Tumaas ang kilay ko sa sinabi niya. "Paano? Is this your hidden life? Pangarap mo bang maging second Michael Christian Martinez?"

"This is why I told you not to drink your second cup of coffee."

Inabot ko ang tagiliran niya at kinurot ko siya. "Paano nga?"

"We used to visit Sky abroad when we were younger when she lived in the US. May skate park malapit sa tinitirhan niya." I heard a sound of blades biting on ice at the same time Blaze moved away from me without letting go of my hand. "One foot first in front of you, fairy."

Sinunod ko siya at nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang ibaba ko ang paa ko. It feels slippery, wet, and unfamiliar. It's like standing on tiptoes in a pool when the water suddenly gets drained in a snap. There's nothing helping you to keep your body upright and it naturally wants you to plant your feet down. Except with the skates I'm wearing, it's impossible.

"Okay, no."

"I got you. I promise."

"Nope."

"Don't you trust me?"

I gritted my teeth. He already knows the answer to that. "I hate you."

"No you don't. You love me. Now place your other foot beside the other one."

Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa mga kamay niya nang sundin ko ang sinabi niya. I felt him glide backwards slowly, and I have no choice but to follow him.

Pero sadiyang tumatagilid ang mga paa ko kada hahakbang ako kaya hindi miminsan na muntikan akong napapatumba patagilid. Kung hindi lang kami magkahawak ay baka kanina pa ako nag-su-swimming sa yelo.

Rinig ko ang tila pinipigil na tawa ni Blaze dahilan para sumingkit ang mga mata ko. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"You look like Bambi. For an agent, you have a terrible balance," he said honestly through another chuckle. "Don't walk. May nakita ka bang skater na parang nagmamartsa sa yelo?"

"Nakakita ka ba ng lalaki na pinatumba ng bulag sa gitna ng ice rink?"

"Wala pa nga tayo sa gitna."

"Kapag sinipa kita, mapupunta ka rin doon."

I can almost feel him shake his head at me. "Come on, my blood-thirsty girlfriend. Glide, don't walk."

Imbis na sundin siya ay pinagdikit ko ang mga paa ko. Kaya nang muli siyang umatras habang hawak pa rin ako ay walang kahirap-hirap na umandar din ako. Dapat kanina ko pa ginawa 'to. Effortless.

"Baby," Blaze said with an amuse tone.

"Shh. Just do your job, Rudolph."

His laugh rang out around us. I could hear the other sound coming from the people with us on the rink, but Blaze's stood out. Hindi mapigilan ang sarili na napangiti na lang din ako. This is just so silly.

"Are you going to twirl me around and lift me above your head?"

He cough out another laugh, "Why?"

"Ganoon ang ginagawa ng mga pair skater." I shook my left hand that he's holding. "Twirl me."

He actually gave me what I asked for. Dahan-dahan niya akong inikot na para ba akong manika na nasa music box. "There. Happy now?"

"Nope."

Kinapa ko ang balikat niya at nang matiyak kong nasa tamang pusisyon kami ay basta na lang akong tumalon para sampahan siya.

"Baby, what—" He guffawed. "What are you doing?"

I climbed up him and then I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly. Iniyakap ko rin sa balikat niya ang mga braso ko.

"I'm making you lift me," I told him.

"I don't think there's a kind of figure skating lift like this."

"Dahil original tayo. This is the Blaze Is Stuck With Eris lift." I tap the back of his leg with my foot. "Now, move."

"Everyone can see us. Pinagtitinginan na nila tayo."

Nagkibit-balikat ako. "Okay lang. Hindi ko naman sila nakikita kaya bakit ako mahihiya?"

"And how about me?"

I turned my head to him and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Okay ka na ba?"

"Hmm. Not quite."

Kinapa ko ang mukha niya gamit ng isang kamay ko. When I found my target, I followed my hand so that I could place my lips on his. "And now?"

"Not enough."

"That would have to do. Iyong mas intense pa diyan baka mapaalis na tayo rito."

His chest vibrated, but he didn't say anything more. Sa halip ay nagsimula siyang gumalaw habang nakasampay ako sa kaniya na parang koala na nakakapit sa puno. I can feel us moving around the rink. May pangilan-ngilan din akong naririnig na natatawa kapag nadadaanan namin. Hindi ko sila masisisi. Para kasing gusto naming ibahin ang definition ng Public Display of Affection ni Blaze.

I slid down slightly on his body but before I can pull myself up, I felt something. Kumunot ang noo ko nang may maramdaman ako na matigas na bagay na tumatama sa akin. I wiggled a bit and my eyes widened in shock.

"Blaze!"

Napapitlag ang lalaki at napahinto dahil sa pagkagulat. "What? What's wrong?"

"Seriously? Right now?"

"Ha?"

Inilapit ko ang mukha ko sa kaniya. "You're hard!" I hissed at him.

His silence lasted for a long time. Magsasalita na sana ako nang maramdaman kong gumalaw ang dibdib niya. The vibration of his chest is now stronger as if there's an earthquake inside him. Isinubsob niya ang mukha niya sa leeg ko habang patuloy siya sa pagtawa.

"This is not funny!"

I felt his hand went to my waist and he helped me down. He held my hand on his shoulder as if telling me not to let go and I didn't. I heard some rustling followed by him pulling something out.

"Blaze—"

"Baby, I hate to say this because I love it, but you really need to stop thinking about my body when we're in a public place. At least now that I can't do anything about it. Specially when it comes to "that" part of my body."

"What? Bakit parang kasalanan ko pa? Ikaw nga 'tong—"

"It's a gift."

I sighed exasperatedly. "I know you're a gift to womankind, Blaze. But it's not like I can unwrap you right now."

"You can unwrap me later," he chuckled. "But I really do have a gift for you."

Natigilan ako at kunot ang noo na pilit na inarok ko ang utak ko sa mga impormasyon na nagdaan lang ilang minuto pa lang ang nakararaan.

Habang nakasampay ako sa kaniya kanina ay may naramdaman akong matigas na bagay na tumatama sa akin. I really thought it was "that". Ang sabi niya ay regalo iyon. He has a gift on his pocket that felt hard?

Wait...

"No," I groaned.

"What again?"

"Dapat talaga nirentahan mo na ang buong lugar na 'to kung dito mo gustong gawin 'yan."

"And what exactly am I doing?"

Sa hindi ko mabilang na ilang pagkakataon ay malalim akong napabuntong-hininga. Habang nakakapit pa rin ang isang kamay sa kaniya ay inangat ko ang isa pa sa ere. I fluttered my fingers in front of him. "Fine. Ask away. Hindi ko naman sila nakikita kaya pwede na rin siguro."

Inabot niya ang kamay kong iginagalaw ko pa rin sa tapat ng mukha niya at ibinaba niya iyon. My hand touched something hard. It was hard in deed.

But it's not a ring box. Unless para sa daliri ng Titan iyon.

"It's a notebook," sabi ni Blaze na karirinigan ng ngiti sa boses. "A hardbound one."

Wow, Eris. Mali ka na nga sa unang hula mo tapos mali ka pa sa pangalawa.

My lower lip jutted out and I would have crossed my arms if not for the fact that we're literally standing on ice. I felt him tap on my lip so that I would let it go. "I like where your mind's at, don't worry."

"So what is this for?" Iwinagayway ko ang notebook. "Dito ko ba isusulat ang last will ko ngayon na gusto ko ng magpalamon sa lupa?"

"No," he chuckled.

Habang hawak ang kamay ko ay iginalaw niya iyon sa ibabaw ng notebook. My whole body stiffened when I recognized the familiar patterns.

We were trained in BHO CAMP a lot of ways to communicate. This is one of them. Mas inaral ko nga lang ito nang malaman ko ang tungkol sa kundisyon ko. I was preparing for what felt like was inevitable for me that time.

"It's a braille," I whispered.

Kahit hindi ko nakikita iyon ay yumuko ako sa direksyon no'n habang magaang pinaglalandas ko ang mga daliri ko sa ibabaw ng notebook. As Long As Rainbows Exist.

"Isinulat ko sa loob ang natapos mo na sa bucket list mo. I crossed them out already." He caressed my cheek with the back of his hand. "We have a lot of pages to fill now."

Something wet drop on my fingers, but I didn't move. I know it's my own tears. Hindi ako nag-angat ng tingin dahil ayokong makita iyon ni Blaze. But as always with him, he knows. He placed a finger on my chin and gently tug it up.

"This feels like a proposal to me," I whispered.

"I told you that you wouldn't expect it if I proposed."

"Even if it's not, it's okay. This is you basically admitting that you're stuck with me for a long time."

"I am very stuck with you and I have no intention to be unstuck." His hand went on top of mine that's holding the notebook. "Kapag napauno natin 'to, gagawa lang tayo ng panibago. Kapag napuno iyon ay kukuha tayo ng isa pa. For the rest of our life, this would be like our diary. The things we shared would be here, the things we would enjoy, everything we would accomplish... it would be here."

"We could look back someday and remember that you showed me your parade of ex-kaharutan para matapos ang ilan sa mga nakalista dito."

His chest rumbled with laughter. "We'll remember how we went to Canada kung saan nag-fangirl ka sa kabit mo."

"How we got our son."

"And our tattoos. The day that I promised you that I will never leave you," He pulled me close while his warm hand wipe my tears. "And when that tree we planted grow, it will remind us of the place where you finally told me that you love me."

"When you can no longer see, you can feel it."

Blaze had said those words to me before and he was right. Even without my sight, my heart feels full of vibrancy. I am at peace and no longer drifting. I am no longer exhausted from the restlessness of the waves that keep dragging me.

Instead I am completely anchored. With him.

As long as rainbows exist.

WARMTH RAINS gently on my face. I opened my eyes slowly, expecting nothing but darkness... but instead, I could see a familiar figure forming slowly. Despite my eyes adjusting and the hazy fog from sleep, my lips curved into a smile. I stared at him, letting my eyes adjust, but also savoring every moment.

"There's my fairy," Blaze whispered as he ran his fingers through my hair. "Happy time?"

"Paano mo laging nalalaman?"

For some reason, he always know when my vision returns.

"You always reach for me every time you open your eyes and you can't see."

"At kapag nakakakita ako?"

"You would just smile and look at me as if you're memorizing everything. Just like what you're doing right now."

"Why, Mr. Reynolds, don't you have nothing better to do than watch me?" I asked him through a teasing voice.

"Of course I have."

Tumaas ang kilay ko. "And what is that?"

"Loving you."

Lumawak ang ngiti ko at naiiling na itinulak ko ang sarili ko para mapaupo ako. My hair pooled around me, their tips touching Blaze's naked chest. Blaze reach for a lock of my hair, and as always, he tuck it behind my ear as if he wants to see more of my face.

"You really look like a fairy," he said.

"Because I'm small?"

"Because everyday with you feels magical."

Yumuko ako at inilapat ko ang mga labi ko sa kaniya. When I pulled away, I stared as his face, happy that this time it's clearer.

"I hate to thank your daddy for this, but I think I really should."

Binigyan ko siya ng masamang tingin sa pagdidiin niya sa salitang "daddy". Iyon kasi ang tawag niya kay Ezio kada mababanggit niya ang lalaki.

The man went back to his country, but not after making sure that the treatment would push through. As for Giovanni... let's just say that he won't do anyone harm anymore.

"Do you want breakfast?"

Nalukot ang ilong ko. "Huwag mong sabihin na nagluto ka? Ang ganda na ng gising ko. Parang gusto ko na lang matulog ulit."

"I'm not that bad," he said through a laugh.

"You massacred an egg by putting it inside a microwave because you wanted a hard boiled one."

He pressed his lips together and he didn't say anything for a moment. He knows I'm right. "Wala naman akong balak magluto. Kanina pa ako gising, at tinawagan ko na rin si Ocean para magdala ng almusal dito."

"Sana Jollibee na lang ang inorder mo para mabilis."

"Next time."

"Tomorrow?" I asked.

"No. On our honeymoon."

Napaubo ako sa sinabi niya. Nangingiting pumaikot sa bewang ko ang mga braso niya at bago pa ako makakilos ay inikot niya ang mga katawan namin hangang sa pagkakataon na ito ay siya na ang nasa ibabaw ko.

He gave me a kiss too, but he pulled away quickly when the doorbell rang. Parang gusto kong manakit. "That's the food. Let's go."

I plopped down the bed. "Tinatamad pa kong tumayo."

"Then don't stand up."

I didn't have the chance to ask him what he meant, because he showed me by carrying me out of the room while Chance excitedly followed us. Natatawang hinayaan ko na lang ang lalaki at nanguyapit ako sa balikat niya nang magtangka siya na ibaba ako. Wala tuloy siyang nagawa kundi maglakad papunta sa pintuan habang nakasabit pa rin ako sa kaniya.

When he opened the door, a yawning Erebus greeted us. Without saying anything, he pushed a huge paper bag to Blaze that I caught before it fell to the floor, and then he turned around to walk away.

"Umabot kaya 'yon sa bahay niya bago siya makatulog?" tanong ko ng isarado ni Blaze ang pintuan.

"Hindi ko pa naman siya nababalitaang aksidenteng nakatulog na lang bigla sa kung saan."

"Hindi talaga aksidente kung kusa naman siyang natutulog kung saan-saan."

Ibinaba ako ni Blaze sa sofa at namataan ko na nakabukas ang laptop niya sa coffee table. He grabbed the bag and he walked to the kitchen.

"Can you create a new Netflix account for me?"

"May Netflix naman ako," sabi ko sa kaniya. I patted Chance's head who sat beside my right leg.

Kapag wala kami sa ospital ay nandito naman kami lagi sa bahay at nanonood. After our skating date a week ago, we haven't gone out again yet. Mukhang si Blaze naman ang sinasapian ng pagiging introvert dahil ayaw niyang lumabas ng flat ko. Nag-offer na nga ako na sa bahay niya naman kami minsan para may change of view pero parang adik na adik siya na mag-stay dito.

"Wala lang. Gusto ko lang ng akin." Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mga mata na ikinangisi niya lang. "I'll tell you my email and the password that I want for the account while I prepare our breakfast."

Prepare as in literal na prepare lang. "Fine."

I can hear him rummaging in the kitchen while I grab his laptop. Kinuha ko rin ang salamin ko na nasa lamesa at isinuot ko iyon. Might as well take advantage. Hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal ang Happy Time ko ngayon pero it will probably last longer than my almost twenty minutes the last time.

"Anong email ang ilalagay ko?" tanong ko.

"All lowercase. [email protected]."

Lumabas sa screen ang sign up page. Inilagay ko ang sinabi niya na email. "R-N-B-W-P-N-G-N..." I clicked the get started button after typing the address. I got redirected to the next page.

STEP 1 OF 1

Create a password to start your commitment.

"Password?" I asked.

"Lowercase, m-r-r-y-m-3."

STEP 2 OF 3

Full commitment. No cancellation.

Everything for just one answer.

"I think your Netflix is glitching." How weird. Pwede bang walang cancellation?

"Probably. It's okay. Just click next and buy the premium plan."

Sinunod ko siya at napunta ulit sa kasunod na page iyon. Pero imbis na ang inaasahan ko na pag set up ng payment ang bumungad ay subscribe button lang ang meron doon.

STEP 3 OF 3

Click to subscribe to forever.

Despite the unfamiliar steps, I decided to just shrug it off. I hit the subscription button. To my confusion, the screen went black. Hindi lang iyong page kundi mismo iyong laptop. I pressed some keys, but it stayed the way it is.

"Blaze, patignan mo 'to sa Expi Department. Parang naghihingalo na ata itong laptop mo—"

Hindi ko nagawang matapos ang sasabihin ko nang bigla na lang bumukas ang TV na nasa harapan ko.

Ibinaba ko sa coffee table ang laptop at kinuha ko ang remote. To my surprise, the homepage of the streaming service site appeared, but instead of the array of movies, it only has one.

The cover of the movie has a familiar hand drawing of a rainbow penguin. One that I remember Rush made for us when we babysat for them.

I wanted to turn and look at Blaze but it was like I was frozen where I was sitting. Tanging ang kamay ko lang ang tila may sariling buhay na pinindot ang remote para i-play ang nag-iisang bagay na nandoon. The song The Joker and The Queen suddenly surrounded the place.

How was I to know?

It's a crazy thing

I showed you my hand

And you still let me win

And who was I to say

That this was meant to be?

The road that was broken

Brought us together

There was so much of me in it. Of me waking up and closing my eyes everyday. The sun hitting my face as my eyelids opened and my hands reaching for the space beside me. It also showed that each time, Blaze is there catching my hand and enveloping it into his.

And I know you could fall for a thousand kings

And hearts that would give you a diamond ring

When I fold, you see the best in me

The joker and the queen

I could see myself laughing for whatever he's saying, there was also me with Chance on the sofa cuddling, and there's me that is sitting on the floor with my cheeks on the glass window while outside the rain is pouring hard.

I was upside down

From the outside in

You came to the table

And you went all in

With a single word

And a gentle touch

You turned a moment

Into forever

There's a clip of me training with the agents, there's one where I was in the hospital, and there's so much more... trivial things that happen everyday. And yet all of it he tried to document as if he wants me to understand what he's seeing.

A text appeared on the screen and a lone tear glided down my cheek as I read it.

"Through my eyes, you are loved. Through my eyes, you are my world. And this, all of you, all that makes you, you... I wouldn't trade it for anything. Not one single moment."

The clips of me on the screen started to go slow as the surrounding turn dark. When the light of the day finally succumb into night, I watch as my eyes fluttered close while I'm in his arms. Then slowly... so gently, he'll lay me down so that he could walk to where he put the camera.

Each day that he documented, he would walk to it and he'll give the camera a smile. His lips moving to say the words that I can easily read; I love you, Eris.

"Fairy..."

When I turned to Blaze, my tears were not just a trickle of rain. It's a downpour. Nagniningning ang mga mata na inalalayan niya ako para makatayo. On his hand is a small box that this time there's no way I could mistake.

He opened it, and my heart constricted in an almost painful way as I looked at the beautiful ring. The band is curled upwards at the bridge and head of the ring creating an imagery of a wave. At the center of it lies the darkest blue diamond I have ever seen.

"Will you agree on the terms of marrying me and subscribe to be with me for the rest of your life, Eris Lawrence Wright?"

Despite the tears, I couldn't help but smile. "And what exactly are the terms?"

"Full commitment. No cancellation. And for one answer you could have everything."

"And that is?"

"Forever. With me."

Every moment I'm with him makes me happy. Everyday, he showed me that I could still be happier. Now knowing it won't be just now or tomorrow... that there will be countless of days in the future just waiting for us... it gives me a sense of peace I never thought I would feel in my life.

"I agree to the terms, Blaze Reynolds. There's nothing that I want more than to spend the rest of my life beside you."

His eyes glazed as it turned liquid from emotions. He placed my face between his hands and before I knew it, he claimed my lips just like he took ownership of everything that I am. By giving me him, he made me his in return.

"Yours," he whispered when we both catch our breath.

"And yours."

_____________________End of Chapter 42.