#BHOCAMP #BlaRis #BHOCAMP10TWC

CHAPTER 17: FIX

ERIS' POV

Parang nagising sa isang bangungot na napabangon ako mula sa pagkakahiga. Madilim ang kuwarto dahil sa sarado at itim na itim ko na kurtina pero sa kabila niyon ay alam kong hapon na. My heavy head that feels like it's about to break was not just because of the hangover but also due to oversleeping.

Hindi ito ang unang beses na nalasing ako ng matindi lalo pa kilala ko rin ang sarili ko pagdating sa pag-inom. Swerte ko na lang na may-ari ang nanay ko ng bar dahil may tendency akong gawin na juice ang alak.

I don't care about the hangover or my liver that is crying for me right now. What I cared about were the clouded memories that are now trying to kill me by sliding into the front of my brain as if it's on a slideshow. Ito na ata ang version ko ng "life flashes before your eyes". Kasi parang gusto ko ng mag-volunteer para kunin na ko ni Lord ngayon din.

Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon ko na hinihiling na sana katulad din ako ng iba na hindi naaalala ang mga ginawa nila kapag lasing sila. Mas madaling i-deny kapag wala kang alam. O kaya iyong iba na paunti-unti ang pasok ng memorya. Minsan pa nga kinabukasan na bago nila tuluyang maalala. At least they have a few hours of peace.

But not me.

The moment that my soul decided to return to my body, I remembered everything.

Naaalala ko ang diskusyon namin nila Hugo tungkol sa "forever room", ang pagkakaisa namin tungkol sa malakas na magnitude ng lindol na yumanig sa amin, ang pagtatago ko sa ilalim ng lamesa at pag-akto na parang pusang nakalambitin kay Blaze, ang pag drunk dial ko sa tatay ko...

"No," I whispered.

Hinablot ko ang unan na nasa tabi ko at itinakip ko iyon sa mukha ko bago malakas ako na sumigaw. Nanggigilgil sa sarili na parang nasasapian na nagpabiling-biling at nagpaikot-ikot pa ako sa kama na para bang magagawa no'n na alugin ang utak ko para magkaroon ako ng amnesia.

"Magpapaalam lang po. Sabi kasi ni Blaze iuuwi at ibahahay niya na raw po ako."

Muli akong napaupo at malakas na ibinato ko ang hawak ko na unan bago ako nagpakawala ng makabasag tenga na tili. Kung hindi lang siguro soundproof ang mga kuwarto sa BHO CAMP baka nagkaroon na ng lockdown dahil aakalain sinusugod na kami.

Pinadulas ko ang katawan ko pababa ng kama. Parang gusto kong gumapang sa ilalim ng kama ko at doon na lang tumira.

Sa isiping iyon ay parang nang-aasar na muling bumalik sa utak ko ang katangahan na ginawa ko nang maisipan ko na tumambay sa ilalim ng lamesa ng Paige's kung saan nadiskubre ko ang superpower ko. "Bakit kasi hindi ka na nagdala Eris? Kailan ba naging maganda ang umaga mo kapag umiinom ka?"

"You're going to disappear because of me. I don't want that!"

"Mercy killing. Kailangan ko ng mercy killing- no... kahit regular killing na lang. Sa ganitong pagkakataon hindi na ko dapat choosy."

"I'm not going to because I also have a superpower."

"The power to stay with you for longer than forever."

Pakiramdam ko ay nagkasalabit-salabit ang wiring ng buong sistema ko at ngayon ay parang hindi maintindihan ng pagkatao ko kung anong dapat kong isipin at gawin.

Tama talaga si Hera. Nakikita ko na ang katotohanan pero kahit anong gawin ko may malaking parte sa akin na hindi gustong harapin iyon. I'm not denying it's existence, but rather I'm delaying it. Hindi ko iyon ginagawa kasi gusto ko lang o dahil gusto kong pahirapan kaming dalawa ni Blaze. Heaven knows I just want to get this done with. I can just tell him that I don't want this... or I can tell him that I do.

Pero anong magagawa ko kung hindi pa ko handa na tahakin ang kahit na ano sa mga sagot na iyon? What do I do when there's an unknown piece of myself that I just can't understand yet? That particular part that feels so hesitant about all of these?

Malakas na pagtunog ng landline ang umagaw sa atensyon ko. Pagapang na nilapitan ko ang bedside table at inabot ko ang handset mula sa base niyon.

Kumapit ako sa kama at pilit na itinayo ko ang sarili ko. Nanlalambot na lumabas ako ng kuwarto at sumalampak ako sa dulo ng sofa kung saan nakaupo rin ang mga higante ko na penguin bago ko sinagot ang tawag.

"Hello?" I grumbled.

Boses ng kapatid ko ang narinig ko sa kabilang linya. "Oh good. You answered. Pinag-iisipan ko kung dito kita tatawagan o sa flat ni Blaze."

It feels like someone is knocking on my head... impatiently. Gusto ko na lang bumalik sa pagtulog dahil kung hindi ay madadamay ang mundo sa init ng ulo ko pero alam ko rin na kapag ginawa ko iyon ay lalo akong hindi makaka-move on sa hangover ko dahil masyado ng mahaba ang itinulog ko. I haven't eaten and dehydration will not help me. But maybe it will help me to die and forget about everything.

"Ano namang gagawin ko sa bahay niya?"

"Sabi mo kay Papa ibabahay ka na ni Blaze kaya akala ko doon na kita dapat hanapin ngayon."

Lord kung ipapangako ko po ba na hindi na ako iinom kahit kailan magagawa niyo po bang burahin sa alaala ng lahat ang mga kabaliwan ko kagabi?

"Wala ako sa bahay ni Blaze!"

Tumawa lang ang kapatid ko na para bang aliw na aliw pa siya sa kamisarablehan ko. "Okay, okay. Ang aga-aga ang init ng ulo agad?"

I massaged my temple when it throb again. "Why did you call?"

"Hindi mo raw sinasagot ang phone mo sabi nila Mama. Dapat kasama ka namin kaninang breakfast ang kaso sabi ko hayaan ka munang magpahinga. Papa wants to talk to you, but I told him that I don't think you will be human enough to socialize the whole day."

"My phone's probably dead."

"I thought so too." There's humor in her voice that is telling me that she' enjoying this. Iyan ang problema sa mga taong happily married na sa lugar na 'to. Gusto rin nilang hawaan ang ibang tao ng pagiging hopelessly in love nila. "Pero kung ako sa'yo magpakita ka na kaila Papa. Kasi baka bukas magising ka na nandiyan na sila. You have a lot of explaining to do. Papa's probably imagining the worst. I've been married for years and they didn't know about it. Maybe they thought you got hitch last night since nagbabahay-bahayan na kayo ni Blaze."

"Hindi kami nagbabahay-bahayan!" Lalong sumakit ang ulo ko nang tinawanan niya lang ako. "Hindi ako nagpakasal at wala akong balak magpakasal anytime soon. It was just a miscommunication? Lasing lang ako. There's nothing going on with me and Blaze."

"Ahuh."

The knot on my forehead deepened. There's something she's not telling me. "Anong ahuh?"

"Well for one, I'm not stupid. Iyong Jelly Blaze moment ni Blaze at sa mga kinikilos niyo, kung wala pa ring kakaiba na nangyayari sa inyo para niyo na ring sinabi na mag-tropa lang kami ni Stone. Second, hulaan mo kung sino ang tumambay sa control room kagabi pagkatapos naming umalis?"

"Who?" I asked even though I'm not sure if I want to hear the answer.

"Si Athena. She witnessed your moment at Paige's. She recorded it and she sent a copy to Hera and me. And well..."

Papanoorin lang ni Enyo ang video pero sigurado akong hindi niya ipapasa iyon sa iba. She'll just probably show it to her husband. Hera and Athena on the other hand will share it to their husbands and brothers. Knowing Thunder, Hera's husband, baka hindi pa tuluyang nakakaalis ang alkohol sa sistema ko ay nagawa na niyang ipagsabi iyon sa lahat ng taong nasa BHO CAMP.

My eyes widened in a horrified expression. "No."

"Masyadong maingay sa Paige para marinig namin ang pinag-uusapan niyo ni Blaze. We just saw him holding your hand, hugging you, and you hiding underneath the table. I think that's what caught Athena's attention so she focused on you two. Baka sasabihin niya lang sana kay Freezale kung sakali para masaway kayo. I mean... it's not new to us when it comes to the other agents'... Jollibee moments..."

"Enyo!"

Napahagalpak siya ng tawa. "What? Totoo naman. Even Freezale and Dawn are guilty of it. Do you know how many times Freezale and King burn the retinas of those that mistakenly interrupted their "meeting" in the control room? They even scarred me for life last week."

"Hindi ko gagawin iyon sa gitna ng madaming tao! Hugo, Diesel, and Alicia were with us!"

"I know. Kaya nga tinawagan niya si Alicia para kumpirmahin na hindi kayo nagpapaka... adventurous. She assured them that you just thought there's an earthquake kaya ka nasa ilalim ng lamesa. Freezale asked her to take a video just in case Dawn ask about it. So we didn't just saw the CCTV footage, we also watched the one with clear audio, and we heard about the... you know?"

"What?" I asked, almost through a growl.

"We found out that there's superheroes among us since you and Blaze have superpowers."

Hindi ko na masyadong narinig ang pagtawa niya dahil naging abala ako sa pagsigaw na tatalunin ang sonic waves ni Sean Cassidy sa X-Men.

"Before you hung up the phone, I would just like to alleviate your misery by telling you that you don't need to hide from Blaze today. Umalis siya dahil may biglaang mission siya. Stone said he will be gone for at least two days or at most three."

Well at least there's a good news. "I wasn't planning to hide."

She clearly didn't believe me but she didn't call me out on it. "Dapat pala sumama ka. Baka isang araw lang tapos na ang misyon niya."

"What do you mean?"

"You have the power to make things disappear. Imagine how quick the mission would be-"

Hindi ko na siya pinatapos sa pang-aasar niya at basta ko na lang siyang pinatayan ng tawag. Sinandal ko ang ulo ko sa sofa at mariing pinikit ko ang mga mata ko. "Kailan kaya sila magsasawa sa kakaasar sa amin?"

Kailan ba kayo natatapos sa pagiging marites niyo sa buhay ng ibang agent? Hindi ba kapag mga naikasal na sila?

Napadilat ako at marahas akong napatayo mula sa kinauupuan ko. Pinilig ko ang ulo ko at malalaki ang mga hakbang na pumunta ako sa kusina. Kulang lang ako sa kain at tubig. Kung ano-ano na ang naiisip ko.

Natigilan ako nang mapamata ako sa center island ng kusina. May malaking tumbler doon na hindi ko alam kung matatawag pa na tumbler o water jug na sa sobrang laki no'n. There's a post it note attached to it.

Sleepy,

Drink this. Ubusin mo. Ang lakas
mong uminom ng alak kaya 'wag kang magreklamo sa tubig.

-Your fallen angel

Hinablot ko ang papel at akmang lalamukusin ko iyon pero parang may sariling buhay ang katawan ko na hindi magawa iyon. Padabog na dinikit ko na lang iyon sa counter bago nakasimangot na kinuha ko ang lalagyanan ng tubig. Uminom ako doon ng kaunti bago ko ibinaba iyon at pagkatapos ay naglakad ako palapit sa refrigerator. I opened it and I saw a blue container inside with another post it note on top of it.

Fruits are good for hangover. Don't cook. Huwag kang magpakabayani. Wala ka pang energy.

There's food in your new microwave.

-Your superhero

Ibinaba ko sa center island ang lalagyanan at lumapit ako sa pinagpapatungan ng microwave. Bago nga iyon at mukhang dinispatsa na ni Blaze ang luma na nasira niya dahil sa mga pang-genius niya na trip sa buhay. Ano kayang niluto no'n? Kayanin kaya ng sikmura ko na ma-food poison today samantalang hindi pa ko nakaka-recover sa alkohol sa sistema ko?

I saw another note attached on the microwave's door.

You're a goat today so it's a vegetarian meal. Ocean cooked it so eat it and stop being suspicious. I'll be back soon. Pagbalik ko we'll cross out your #5.

And I'll help you with your training. Don't do it with that Hugo guy.

-Your Jelly Blaze

Jelly Blaze. Nagsimula iyon sa kapatid ko at mukhang ipinakalat niya na sa iba para makarating pa iyon kay Blaze. It doesn't look like that he mind it. More like he already embraced it.

It's so fast. We're moving so fast. Maybe faster than the speed of light. A part of me knows that he's doing it intentionally. It's like during sparring session. To be exact, during his. Sa umpisa pag-aaralan niya lang ang galaw mo, dadahan-dahanin ka. After that, he will start to provoke you, letting you attack until he learn all your moves. And then... he'll retaliate. This time he will be the one doing the attacking. He'll deflect your every move because he already memorized them. In the end you'll be back in the corner with no place to escape to.

Huminga ako ng malalim at sa pagkakataon na ito ay maingat ang pagbaba ko sa dalawa pang papel katabi ng nauna. My eyes lingered to the end of each note.

With a deep sigh, I decided to just ignore them and I turned to the microwave. Binuksan ko iyon at nakita ko ang microwavable container ng Craige's. Inside is a vegetarian shakshuka. Muli kong sinarado ang pintuan ng microwave at ininit ko na iyon. I opened a drawer to get some spoon when I saw that there's another note inside.

I won't tease you about last night. You're
probably kicking yourself for it. We could forget about it, I don't mind. Because the next time that you'll let me have a glimpse of your truth, you won't be intoxicated and you'll do it because you're ready to give it to me.

-Yours

"Damn it, Blaze."

KINAKABAHANG SUMILIP ako mula sa pinagtataguan ko. Tanging tugtog na nanggagaling sa radyo ang maririnig doon at paminsan-minsan na ingay mula sa pagtama ng metal sa metal. Bakit ba kabado ako? Wala naman akong ginawang masama.

Wala ng tatalo sa surprise ng kapatid ko sa mga magulang ko noong umamin siya tungkol sa kanila ni Kuya Stone. I don't think she wanted to tell them about it kung hindi nga lang talagang napilitan siya dahil ang dami ng kumakalat na usapan tungkol sa kanila. O mas tamang sabihin ay sa aming apat.

Maraming mga bersyon ng kuwento ang sumisirkulo sa amin noon. Kesyo nagkagustuhan kami ni Blaze, at ganoon din si Enyo kay Kuya Stone. Meron din naman na nag-inuman kami at nagising na lang kami na kasal na pero imbis na si Blaze at Enyo ang kinasal ay nagkamali kami at naipakasal siya sa akin. There's also a story that I got pregnant with Blaze's child.

Our stories sounded dramatic that could be perfect for a soap opera. But the truth is everything were just situations that happened at the wrong time. My sister got married way back before she had a relationship with Blaze. It's related to a tribe and a lot of laws that I rather not think about. She got into an accident and forgot about it. Years later they found out it got legalized and it was a real marriage.

To make it short, Blaze found out, the four of us got drunk that one night, and then we played truth or dare. The truth did came out and fate dared all of us because it send all our lives into different paths. Blaze and Enyo broke up, and I woke up barely clothed with Blaze, straining my relationship with my sister.

As usual, remembering those day, I felt a pang in my chest. Maayos na ang lahat ngayon. My sister is happy with her husband. She forgave me a long time ago and she kept assuring me that it's more about forgiving herself than forgiving me. And yet I feel guilty about it. Blaze and I didn't have sex but it didn't changed anything. Hindi ko kayang sabihin na walang nangyari. We kissed, we almost did something that we would regret more, and I stayed with him when I shouldn't have.

But why do I feel like that it's not the reason why I'm being hesitant?

"I already know you're out there, Eris Lawrence Wright. Your mother called me."

Napapitlag ako nang marinig ko ang boses ng ama ko. Kung hindi ko pa nahigpitan ang pagkakahawak sa dalawang inumin na dala ko ay baka nabitawan ko ang mga iyon. With a sheepish smile, I went out of hiding. Naglakad ako palapit sa detached garage ng bahay kung saan kasalukuyang abala ang ama ko sa sasakyan na nasa harapan niya.

My father, aside from making our family richer day by day by being one of the giant sharks in the business world, also loves to get his hands dirty by restoring old cars. Isa iyon sa hobby na kinaaadikan niya noong minsan na dumalo sila ng auction ni Mama at nagandahan siya sa isang lumang sasakyan na nakita nila.

He slid out from under the car and gave me a stern look. Matamis na nginitian ko lang siya kahit pa gusto kong kabahan sa tingin na ibinibigay niya sa akin. Inabot ko sa kaniya ang isa sa hawak ko na mango shake. I blended it at home since Snow gave me a whole basket of ripe mangoes. Nag-date kasi sila ng asawa niya sa Cafe Salvacion's Mango Farm na kilala rito sa Cavite at namakyaw sila ng kaing-kaing na manga.

"Sweet mango shake para sa sweet kong Papa."

Kinuha niya iyon sa akin. "As if that would work on me. I have you, your sister, and your mother giving me that smile kada may ginagawa kayong ikakainit ng ulo ko."

"Dapat happy lang tayo, Pa. Nakakatanda ang laging mainit ang ulo."

"Matagal na kong matanda."

Sunod-sunod na umiling ako bago ako umupo sa garage bench na nasa isang tabi. "Hindi po ah. Ikaw pa rin ang pinakagwapong lalaki sa buhay ko."

"At sino ang pangalawa?"

I know what he's hinting at. Nginitian ko lang siya. "Ang mga tito ko po siyempre."

He took a sip of the mango shake he's holding with his sharp eyes locked on me. Ibinaba niya iyon sa isang tabi at pagkatapos ay tumayo siya at inangat niya ang hood ng sasakyan.

"Nasaan po si Mama? Sabi niya lang sa akin mamaya pa ang balik niya."

"Kasama niya ang Tita Thea mo na pumunta ng mall." Tinapunan niya ako ng tingin. "May kailangan ka bang sabihin sa amin at kailangan nandito din ang Mama mo?"

Nalukot ang ilong ko. It's not like I have a big announcement. I was just asking an innocent question. Kasalanan talaga 'to ni Enyo. Para tuloy may trauma na sila Papa.

"About the other night... hindi po talaga ako 'yung kausap mo sa phone."

"I'm not demented, Eris. Naka-register ang number mo sa phone ko. Hindi pa rin ako nangangailangan ng hearing aid. I know your voice and I heard what you said clear as a day."

Huli ka na eh ayaw mo pang magpakulong. "Ang ibig ko lang naman pong sabihin, hindi ako 'yung kausap mo kasi wala po ako sa sarili no'n. I came back from a mission and I had a drink. Lasing lang po talaga ako. I didn't secretly got married."

He didn't look appeased. Namula pa nga ang mukha niya na parang anytime ay basta na lang niyang susugurin si Blaze. "So you're just living with him? He's not going to marry you?"

"Pa, ang puso mo."

"Eris," he said with a warning in his tone.

"Hindi kami nagli-live in. Hindi rin kami ikakasal. I just got drunk and we had a miscommunication." Inabot ko sa kaniya ang isang wrench na nakita ko sa tool box niya na alam kong kailangan niya. "Wala kaming relasyon."

"But you like him."

It didn't escape my notice how my father phrased those words. It was a statement rather than a question.

"It's not like that, Pa. I don't want you of all people to misunderstand."

"Eris-"

"Hindi ko po siya gusto noon. Wala akong kahit na anong nararamdaman sa kaniya bago pa sila magkaroon ng relasyon ni Enyo. I didn't have any feelings with him either when they were together or when they were having problems. I cared for them. I cared that my sister was in pain for something that she and the world can't understand that time. And I cared for Blaze because he was hurting for something he couldn't control."

"That's not my question." Nang bumuka ang mga labi ko pero walang salitang lumabas sa mga iyon ay nagpatuloy siya. "Do you know why old cars are like people? Because there are issues that you can see easily, but there's also those that you can't. That's why you need to strip everything so that all the problems could be visible. You can only fix problems that you can see."

I know my father well. I know that he's gearing for something big and he'll drop it on me whether I'm ready for it or not. "Some cars can't be restored, Pa."

"You can if you want to. People give up on some cars because the worth doesn't match with the amount of work to be done. Pero kung iyon talaga ang gusto mo, ibubuhos mo lahat ng kaya mo kahit na ang pinakamadali ay bumili ka na lang ng bago."

I pressed my lips together. Aries Liam Wright has an answer for everything and he's just starting.

"Blaze was your sister's ex. You want to make yourself believe that it's wrong. Hindi ka nahihirapan sabihin iyon. It's easy for you because you can see the problem. You know it's fixable. It's probably not a problem anymore and it's fixed already because you know the conclusion but you want to hold on to the guilt."

"Pa..."

"Ang relasyon ba ni Blaze at Enyo noon ang problema o ginagamit mo lang iyon kasi may ibang pinanggagalingan ang takot mo?"

Pakiramdam ko ay dumadagundong ang puso ko sa naging tanong ng ama ko. It's like he found a knife already embedded in me and he decided to twist it.

"Paano po kung ginagamit niya lang ako para maka-move on kay Enyo?" bulong ko.

Even to me, the question sounded empty.

"Do you believe that?"

"Paano po kung ang nakikita niya lang sa akin ay ang kapatid ko?"

"Eris, do you believe that?"

"Sabi niya hindi."

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Sabi niya?"

"Opo. Tinanong ko siya. Ang kulit niya eh sunod nang sunod sa akin at hindi ko maintindihan ang kinikilos niya kaya tinanong ko na lang ng diretso."

Sandaling napakurap si Papa habang nakatitig lang sa akin na para bang kinukuwestiyon niya kung anak niya ba ako o kung pinalitan ako ng alien noong sanggol pa lang ako. "I don't know if I should compliment him or pity him." Naiiling na muli siyang humarap sa sasakyan na inaayos niya. "I already told you, you already fixed those problems because you can see them. You're just holding on to them."

"But-"

"Did you ever felt like he's making you a substitute for who you are not? That you can't be yourself around him because you know that's not who he wanted to see? Did he ever made you feel that it's not you he's seeing? "

For some reason, the memories of him calling me different dwarf names flashed in my brain. "I don't think so. Ang dami niya pong nakikita sa akin pero wala sa isa na iyon ang kapatid ko. Sometimes I'm Grumpy, sometimes it's Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Bashful, and Happy. Si Doc na lang ang kulang."

And sometimes I'm his little fairy... or his baby.

Damn it.

My father gave me another look before he shook his head. "Then you have your answer."

Napabuntong-hininga ako. It doesn't feel like I have all the answer. "But..."

"But you don't know what's the real problem o alam mo pero natatakot ka." Nang hindi ako makasagot itinuro niya ang sasakyan na kinukumpuni niya. "I spent hours and hours fixing this car. I spent a lot of money on buying parts too. Your mother sometimes want to burn this down because I've dragged her to a lot of auctions just to buy the rare parts I needed to find. And yet it's still not working. Kailangan pa ng kaunti pang panahon. One day, I believe it will run. It's just that right now, I still haven't discovered the other problems yet. And-"

"If you can't see it, you can't fix it." Umangat ang sulok ng mga labi niya at muli akong napabuntong-hininga. "Maybe you should write a book, Pa. Restoring cars and restoring hearts by Aries Liam Wright."

"Maybe you should stop being a smart ass."

"It's a talent."

"Passed down by your mother."

We shared a conspiratorial smile. We both know na hindi ako o ang kapatid ko ang number one na sakit ng ulo niya. That title would always be given to our mother.

"Can I say one more thing?"

I have a feeling that my father could rock my world more with his words of wisdom. I wanted to say no, but it's not like I can stop him. Sa halip ay nanatili na lang akong nakatingin sa kaniya habang hinahanda ko ang sarili ko sa kung anuman ang sasabihin niya.

"Sometimes we look for problems in a place too far from where we should start looking first. Kasi kapag mas malapit, mas mahirap. When it hits too close, it's more painful. You're just human. You don't want to be in pain. No one does." Ipinatong niya sa gilid ng sasakyan ang hawak niya at kinuha niya ang basahan na nakapatong sa balikat niya para punasan ang kamay niya. He turned to me and he looked directly into my eyes. "But you're also my daughter and I know you too well. Mas nasasaktan ka kapag may nasasaktan na iba para sa'yo."

Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko at pilit na ngumiti ako sa kabila ng luhang namumuo sa mga mata ko. He managed to nudge the underlying problem inside me that are hidden by those that I was trying to use as it's cover. "Pa... I can't..."

"You Lawrences... always hardheaded, too brave, and too self-denying. You rather break alone and suffer alone. But don't forget that you are mine too. You're a Wright, Eris, and we don't give up when it's hard even if it means not to give up on ourselves and our happiness. If I wanted an easy life, I wouldn't be here. I'll live everyday not knowing what's it's like to be really happy because I wouldn't have your mother with me and I also won't have you and your sister." Lumapit siya sa akin at umupo siya sa tabi ko at inabot ang kamay ko. "Our story could have ended differently. I keep thinking about it. What if your mother really went blind? I know she wouldn't resent me if I leave her, but I also know that one day, even if she understand that I would rather be with her, she'll resent me for staying. That's how much she loves me."

Napayuko ako nang maramdaman ko ang sunod-sunod na pagpatak ng luha sa magkabila ko na pisngi. I wanted to hide it from him, but I felt his hand on my chin, and he tugged it up so that I could look at him.

"But you know what? I'll be okay with her resenting me, hating me, to lash at me even though it's just because she's hurting too. Because no matter how many endings there are in this world, I'll always choose the one where I will have it together with her. The only worst path that I could think of is a life without her."

"Papa..."

"He made a choice because he can see it too. A hard path doesn't mean an unhappy one, specially if the easy road means not having you at the end of it."

Pinunasan ko ang mga mata ko na hilam sa luha pero nasundan lang iyon nang nasundan. I stomped my feet in frustration. "Papa!"

He chuckled. "What?"

"Pinuntahan kita kasi galit ka. Di ba dapat nga kinukumbinsi mo ko na layuan siya? You shouldn't talk him up to me. You're not supposed to like him!"

"Sino namang may sabing gusto ko siya?"

Natigilan ako. "You don't?"

"I don't even like your sister's husband."

Pinaikot ko ang mga mata ko sa narinig. "Yeah right. Kaya pala noong isang beses nag-bonding pa kayong dalawa at nanood kayo ng basketball ng live. Hindi kayo sumasagot sa tawag nila Mama kasi busy kayo na makipag-selfie sa favorite team niyo."

"I like him as a person, but I don't like him as man that stole my daughter. Just like I don't like the other thief that is trying to steal you from me." Sa pagkakataon na ito ay siya naman ang napabuntong-hininga. "I hate that you're growing up too fast, but I don't like you to be unhappy."

"Papa, I'm already a grown up. I'm old enough to get a bad back when I try the things I do when I was younger," I reminded him.

"You're my baby." He still looks like he's annoyed of what he considered as burglary, but after awhile his face went smooth, and a confident smile curved his lips. "Your sister just got married."

"Ahuh."

"Sukob. You can't get married yet. Not for the next ten years."

I know I almost look comical when I blinked so fast that my eyes felt like they were about to fall. "Ten? Hindi ba isang taon lang po 'yon?"

"Ten 'yon. Inaantok lang ang nagpauso ng pamahiin na 'yon at nakalimutan ilagay iyong zero sa tabi ng one."

______________________End of Chapter 17.