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Dear diary,

My name is Kim Taehyung and I am a sophomore, 16 years old. This is my first entry, nice to meet you.

My mother gave you to me when I was younger, in case I would have anything important to write down. And I believe that now is one of these cases.

I find myself being attracted to someone. Someone I should definetely not be attracted to. Someone that is my straight best friend. I'm gay, by the way, but that one I've known for a very long time. It was quite obvious.
And, this is the first attraction I had to anybody. Anybody who is not some hot celebrity.

My best friend is Jeon Jungkook. He's an amazing best friend, fun to be with and a really good listener, not to mention the fact that he's super considerate and polite. Not like all these other boys acting all tough and strong and ending up being the biggest assholes. Jungkook is different.

He's the greatest friend anyone could wish for, for sure.

So now you may ask, why these strange feelings?
Truly, I don't know myself! That's why I'm telling you. But let me give you some more context first:

Jungkook had a girlfriend. In fact, he had many girlfriends and all of them were really sweet, actually. But I guess they never clicked, if you know what I mean. It's not the girls' fault or Jungkook's fault, just the way of the universe, I guess.
But a few months ago, he had a really special girlfriend.

Her name was Lee Bora and he was head over heels for her, absolutely in love with her. I saw how different he was with her, he truly loved her with all he had. I supported them so much!
But guess what? It was too good to last.

She cheated on him and she never loved him in the first place! What a bitch! Jungkook is so heartbroken about it, it makes me so sad.
When he told me about it, he was crying so hard. Poor boy.

So, when I comforted him, I suddenly got a thought. A very weird thought. 
I started thinking he should find someone who loves him just like he is and someone who would never let him go just like that. And guess what? I thought of myself!

But like... whyyy?!

I mean... of course, Jungkook is extremely attractive, he is handsome and he has an awesome personality and he has a sense of sensitivity, which is exactly what I'm looking for in a guy.
But that guy should not be him! 

The problem is, dear diary, I can't get this... fantasy out of my head! Me and Jungkook, together in that way. I know it's soo wrong but I have no idea how to fix this! I keep thinking about it, all. Fucking. Day. It frustrates me. 

You will have to hear me rant about extremely many things so I apologize in advance, friend.

Before my brain explodes because of overwhelming feelings, I'm gonna stop here. You will probably hear from me soon enough, this is kind of fun and relaxing and I feel like it could really help me figure out things.

Then, dear diary, it was an honor talking to you! My first entry, kind of exciting. I'll tell you more in the future. This was a brilliant idea!

Goodbye!

-Taehyungie♡

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A brilliant idea. My ass.

That's all Taehyung could think of as he stood in front of his house, his whole body trembling because of all the things that just happened.

He got humiliated.

His diary got stolen and his secrets were exposed.

He was in danger.

And the worst, the one person that should not know about his love for him knew now.

Tears were still occasionally leaving his eyes, running down his face and then, dropping on the floor softly. Damn those tears.

As soon as he rung the doorbell, his mother opened the door and checked who was in front of it. She was breathing heavily and tears filled her eyes as soon as she saw the boy who was facing her.

"My baby... Taehyungie... I was so w-worried!" She pulled him into the tightest hug he had ever experienced and cried into his shoulder, the blonde boy wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back, his own eyes filling with tears again.

"I was worried s-sick... I thought you might've run away... and never come b-back! What if something happened to y-you, oh god..." She wrapped her arms even tighter around him, to a point where he couldn't breathe.

And now he felt even worse. He hadn't even taken his mother's emotions in consideration when he had agreed to stay at Jungkook's.
And he felt horrible for it.

"It's okay, mom... I'm here now," he whispered, breaking the hug since he couldn't breathe and wiping away his mother's tears to comfort her.

"I'm sorry for leaving... I was just so scared... I don't know if f-father told you about... what I did but I just didn't feel safe here," he tried to explain carefully, his mother nodding at that.

"Baby, of course I knew... H-How could I not have known? I'm your mother. I've seen you trying on my make-up when you were ten. And when you were five, you told me you didn't want to marry a girl, you'd rather marry Jungkook. You probably don't remember, but it did happen. And from that point, I just started assuming." She suddenly started laughing, stroking her son's back.

My five-year old self already predicted my love for Jungkook, huh?

"And of c-course I'm fine with it. I always was. You're my beautiful son, it doesn't matter who you love. I'm so, so, so sorry about what your father did... it was unforgiveable. My baby got hurt and I will never forgive myself for it, I should have been there..." Mrs. Kim started to get emotional again.

"Oh no mommy, it's not your fault. None of this is your fault. My bruises healed, I'm completely fine now." He now stroked his mother's back.

It was a lie. He felt even worse now because of obvious recent events. It was like the universe was against him. Except, of course, his mother.

"I-I'm sorry I can't leave your father, Taehyungie. I've seen how badly he treats you and I will do everything in my power to protect you from him. B-But... we can't just run away from him. He has all the power, my parents are dead, I don't even know where my relatives are, we don't have any money... I never told you about this before but you deserve to know. I don't want to stay with him either but I have to. We're basically trapped in here, baby," she sniffled and kissed the top of her son's head.

"It's okay, mom. It's not your fault..." He grabbed his mother's hand.
"But if there's any chance of us being able to escape him, promise to tell me and we will figure something out together, okay?" She smiled and nodded.

"You're the best son anyone could ever wish for, I love you and I'm proud of you." She kissed the top of his head again.
"So, who was that on the video? Your boyfriend?"
The bright smile Taehyung had on his face wore off as he thought about recent situations yet again.

"No, no. It's a long story." He shook his head.
"Right now, we have time." The blonde then sighed at her words.

"So... I like, no, love someone. A lot. But, let's say, I didn't think being in love with him would do me any good so I tried moving on, with that guy from the video. But it didn't work."
She frowned.

"Oh baby, you went through all of this alone. I'm so sorry, I didn't know... Who's the lucky guy?," she asked softly, playing with his hair.

"Mommy, it's okay. You couldn't have known. Don't beat yourself up about it. And, well... the guy is J-Jungkook."
Mrs. Kim's mouth made an 'O'-shape, she seemed to be extremely surprised.

"Wow. I didn't expect this. Guess you somehow predicted the future when you were five, huh? So, do you plan on telling him? You should, life is short, baby." He scoffed softly, once again having to remember the painful memories this day had brought upon him.

"No need. He found out today." He decided not to tell her about the diary and about Mark's true intentions, it had been a long day and Taehyung was too mentally exhausted to open up about today.
"I don't know what will happen," he added. "I'll just wait." Mrs. Kim nodded.

"Do you know who sent that video to your father?" Taehyung inhaled sharply.
"It's been a long day, mommy. I need some rest." She nodded understandingly. "Of course."

All of a sudden, the door unlocked and Mr. Kim entered the house, just as Taehyung was about to go upstairs.

Feeling a wave of protectiveness rushing over her, Mrs. Kim pulled her son towards her and hugged him protectively, fearing of what her husband could do next.

Luckily, all he did was give him a piercing deathglare and scoff.
"Looks like you're back, disgraceful brat. You're no son of mine."
The blonde exhaled shakily, trying not to freak out.

His mother felt the tension surrounding him, so she let go of him and pushed him towards the stairs.
"Go get some rest, my baby. I will deal with him," she whispered encouragingly.

Throwing one last reassuring glance at his parents, Taehyung made his way upstairs and sat himself in his bed, hugging his knees and taking deep breaths to calm himself down from this day.

This had to be the worst day in history. It had to be.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

(A/N: taehyungie, hang in there😩

also random question but do your guys' parents call you pet names? my mom literally calls me only pet names (my dad too) so like... lmao

i am really really tired for some reason right now, i hope you enjoyed this half-assed chapter💕
as always, i love you💜)