*trigger warning: discussion of SA*

"Smart and good looking, geez Mira, this kid sounds like a full package deal if you ask me," Eric whistled, brows raised after Mira told him about her tutoring session. Eric loved hearing every juicy detail from Mira's life, so of course, she couldn't help but to gush about this seemingly perfect boy who just so happened to walk into her life. Was she in love? No. Did she possibly have a big fat crush on him after knowing him for no more than a day? Yes.

"He's just so nice and easy to talk to, like I don't feel like I'm talking to a brick wall with him," Mira sighed, the words of a hopeless romantic slipping between her lips.

"I say, feel things out a little bit more, and if he really is everything you say he is, then go for it. Letting a decent guy into your life for once could be a nice change." He encouraged.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Mira groaned, the ringing of the door opening grabbing her attention. Her mouth fell into a frown as she saw who had walked in, his steely blue eyes making her stomach twist into knots.

"Speak of the devil," she muttered, walking over to the register. Her ex, Kamen walked towards her, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"What can I get you?" Mira asked flatly, her lips pressed into a tight thin line.

"Can we talk?" He asked, glancing around uncomfortably.

"I'm working," she rolled her eyes. She didn't have time for his bullshit.

"Please?" He pushed. Mira tapped her fingers on the counter, letting out a huff before turning to Eric who eyed Kamen suspiciously.

"Can I take a five?" She asked. He looked from Kamen back to her before nodding.

"Yeah, let me know if you need anything."

Mira followed Kamen into the brisk night air out to the side of the cafe, her arms folded over her chest.

"So what's this about?" She asked bluntly.

"I just felt like we needed to talk." He pursed his lips, like he was the one who should have been nervous.

"What is there to talk about, Kamen?" Mira questioned. What she wanted to say was 'why the fuck are you here', but figured she would be more civil in this environment.

"Everything that happened, I know we didn't end on the best of terms..." Mira scoffed, cutting him off.

"By 'everything', you mean when you and your friend raped me?" She spat, her blood boiling. They'd only been talking for less than thirty seconds and he had already struck a nerve. Kamen's eyes darted upwards, scanning their surroundings like he was scared someone had heard her.

"Hey, I know that's what you think happened, but you were asking for it, all you had to do was say no but instead, you've spun this whole elaborate story to paint me out to be the bad guy when you were the one who was too high off her ass to speak for herself," he shot back, sending Mira spiraling. She was about to blow this bitch up.

"Asking for it? Holy fuck Kamen, I knew you were an ignorant asshole but do you even hear yourself? You knew I was in a dark place, I confided in you, and you took advantage of me. I was barely coherent, even if I wanted to form the words no or push you two off of me, I couldn't have. What even made you think I'd be ok with letting you and your friend fuck me anyways? It's fucking disgusting!" She shoved her finger in his chest. His face was full of rage as the words left her lips, and before she even realized it, he'd swiped his hand across her face, her cheek burning from the slap.

Her mouth fell open as she stumbled back, her hand reaching up to feel the place he'd slapped her. Tears filled her eyes, but she refused to let him have the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

"Maybe you should have learned how to deal with your shit like the rest of us instead of becoming a fucking addict," he stepped towards her, the fire behind his eyes making Mira wonder if he was gonna hit her again, but suddenly a hand was on Kamen's chest, pushing him back.

Mira looked over to see the guy who'd stopped in the night before, Adrian, step between them a dark look in his eyes as he towered over Kamen.

"Don't lay another finger on her. I don't know who you are, but you need to get the fuck out of here before I call the cops." He glared down at Kamen with a look that could kill. Kamen snarled, his eyes going back and forth between them.

"Crazy bitch," he spat before turning away and storming off. Mira stood, her hand still holding her cheek as she registered what had happened. He'd really hit her. To think she used to be so blindly in love with him too. It made her sick to her stomach.

"Hey, you ok?" Adrian turned towards her, his expression laced with concern. It took her a moment, but she managed a weak nod.

"Yeah, he's my ex... we didn't end things on very good terms." She forced a small smile. She couldn't break down in front of him, especially not after scaring Kamen away like that.

"Here, let's get you inside." He walked her back into the cafe, where Eric immediately rushed over to her.

"Did that little fucker hit you?" He asked, big eyes as he looked at the bright red hand print on her cheek.

"It's fine, he's gone now," Mira reassured, although her weak voice exposed her true feelings.

"I swear if that kid steps foot back in this cafe I'm gonna beat his ass." He grinned his teeth.

"It's ok, I promise, he's just lucky Adrian jumped in when he did. I was gonna beat his ass," Mira smirked as she glanced up at Adrian, his cool grey eyes meeting hers.

He laughed softly.

"Glad I could save a life."

"Anyways, I'm fine Eric, I promise." She looked back at Eric, who although still looked like he wanted to beat the shit out of Kamen, gave her a reluctant nod.

"Fine, but I want you off the clock and someone is walking you back to your car, got it?" He lifted a brow.

"Got it," Mira smiled. She turned back to Adrian.

"Plain coffee, black?" She asked. He looked surprised at first, but then a smile crossed his lips.

"That would be perfect."

She went ahead and poured his coffee, handing it to him without ringing it up.

"On the house for stepping in before I turned the side lot into a crime scene," she teased, handing it to him. His cold fingers brushed against hers as she passed the cup to him.

"I should have let you, he wouldn't have known what hit him," he replied. "Still, he had no right laying a finger on you."

"Yeah, we'll be seems to have a problem with differentiating what he can and can't do," she remarked.

"But that's done and over with. I'm not surprised that he's still a total asshat. Another late night I'm assuming?" She leaned back against the counter.

"All of my nights are late nights," he groaned, taking a sip of his coffee.

"I guess it's a good thing we're open late," she smiled.

"That it is," he responded, his phone buzzing in his pocket. He looked at it and sighed before shoving it back in his pocket.

"Looks like my night is just getting started." He exclaimed. "Thank you for the coffee."

"Anytime." Mira replied.

"Oh, and Mira, you should really try to keep better company," he called over his shoulder as he made his way towards the door.

She was trying, that's for sure.

She let out a long breath, reaching up and gently touching her cheek. She started wondering how far Kamen would have gone if Adrian hadn't stepped in.

"You ok?" Eric placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah, as ok as I can be," she mumbled, her emotions suddenly welling back up to the surface.

"Go clock out, I'll walk you to your car."

***

Her emotions started to overwhelm her all at once when she got home. She'd been fine back at the cafe, in front of everyone, but now that she didn't have to pretend to be strong, she was a mess.

She changed into her pajamas and stepped out onto the balcony, Pickles following close behind. She sat on the couch, pulling her dog up next to her.

She used to sit out here all the time with her mom. They'd watch the stars and talk for hours. It was the place they bonded the most, where they held each other and let themselves become vulnerable. They'd laughed, cried, even just sat in silence with Mira leaning her head against her mothers chest as car horns echoed from down below.

But now, the seat cushion was cold, and Mira had no one to lean on.

She pulled her knees up to her chest as she looked up at the sky, her breaths shaky. Kamen's words replayed in her head like a broken record.

Maybe you should have learned how to deal with your shit like the rest of us instead of becoming a fucking addict.

It was true, when her mom died, Mira had felt empty, like a meaningless void. She would lay in bed for days, not eating, or doing much of anything other than sleep in a meager attempt to escape her own dark thoughts. Her mom had killed herself, and the question as to why haunted her. She constantly asked herself if it was something she'd done, if her love alone wasn't enough to keep her mother in this world. So when she finally found something that made her feel anything other than grief, she took it and ran. She would drink, smoke, do molly, anything to be able to feel something.

She'd met Kamen at that time, and he was willing to hold her, to be there for her when no one else was. He really was sweet at first, sympathetic to what she was going through, but he was a people pleaser, and when the risk of upsetting someone arose, he'd do whatever it took to stay on their good side. He must've thought that Mira wouldn't remember the night, or that she would have blamed herself like she always did, but when she woke up the next morning, she remembered vividly how helpless and vulnerable she'd felt as a stranger touched her and did things she had only let Kamen do. It made her feel like shit, like nothing more than a tool, and it was sickening.

Mira's shallow breaths became low sobs as she hugged Pickles to her chest.

"Mom, I wish you were here," she cried, tears streaming down her face. Her mom had loved her more than words could describe and even after knowing how she had taken her own life, Mira still believed firmly that her mothers love was real. Especially now, after being showered with false affection, she knew where her mom's heart had laid.

She spent several hours sitting out on the balcony, crying upwards towards the sky, wondering if her mom was watching down at her.

When she finally crawled into bed, her face was red and swollen, streaks staining her cheeks.