Dear All,

Here is the Prologue and we can see their two different points of view, have a hint on their different personalities and problems. 

Please note that the prologue takes place more or less at the time of CH.24 of "Fire and Ice", when many things were different than we know them now, especially regarding our Tolya. You will see how River felt about the matter at the time, what happened to Nicholas before meeting River ad such.

I was re-reading "Fire and Ice" to check timelines and such, and, as Jasper would say: OH BOY! The number of mistakes, typos, grammar BS and such is rather embarrassing, sorry you had to endure it while reading it and re-reading it (Btw, THANK YOU from my heart to all my re-readers, you guys are fantastic!) So, my decision? I am beginning to review the story and I will slowly start to re-post reviewed chapters, because you deserve higher quality of stories. It won't be professionally editing, mind this, but at least I will polish it and wipe all the embarrassing nonsense away. 

I have chosen the same song from the Author's Note because it fits the chapter, River and Nicholas didn't meet yet, but the words of the song are somehow foretelling their story. The banner was designed by myself and I am surprised by what came out.

I would like to dedicate this chapter to everyone and in particular to Shreya_sh2002 as a BIG THANK YOU for your poem: you have no idea how happy it made me! Thank you, my dear!

Now, I hope you will enjoy the chapter and I will be looking forward to reading your comments, messages and such. During this weekend I will reply to the other ones, thank you so much for your love and support!

Enjoy it!

RIVER POV – NEW YORK:

"In a world full of temporary things, you are a perpetual feeling," by Sanober Khan

I grabbed the book for the third lesson that I naively took with me at home in the very vain hope of helping my younger brother studying in the subject he seemed to struggle with, but it was a useless effort. I found myself staring at the book standing still for a few seconds, considering everything that happened in the recent past months, the change in behaviour and the strong feelings Tommy held against me. I tried to go through many possibilities, but I could not find an answer. I considered his friends and none of them could be the cause of it, and in school his grades weren't at the top, but my parents never really pressured him.

I had tried to talk to him, but to no avail. The reaction was always the same and I feared pressing for more, for he might have taken even more distance to all of us and I definitely did not wish to lose him, afraid he might encounter the wrong crowd. I reflected a moment upon that consideration and tried to remember whether I noticed or not a new person around him, but sadly, I was not entirely certain. Had he met somebody that caused him this change? No, there must have been more than, because his feelings ran deeply.

What had I done wrong to make him hate me so much? Logically speaking, I haven't done anything against him, for I thought over the matter almost every day, but there must have been something or else, how his behaviour could be explained? Perhaps my parents said something out of place that was misunderstood by Tommy, yet I asked them already.

I signed out and stared at the book another moment, for then shacking my head as if forcing myself to chase away such thoughts and weaknesses, since they would do no good and would only render me more exposed and irrational. I was not giving up on my brother and I would definitely find a way to solve this problem and understand what happened. It was just a matter of comprehending the real reason behind his change of attitude and work with that; I had to be patient, because I didn't want to admit defeat and lose my younger brother.

Yes, I couldn't lose my little Tommy, just as I lost Tolya...I couldn't lose my brother like I did with my friend, giving up and being afraid of getting further hurt. I signed and placed the book in the backpack. Thinking about Anatoly was not easy, for he used to be my other special friend, exactly like Sasha; however, something must have happened and instead of helping my friends to patch up, I probably made it worse. I went through many possibilities and the more I had observed him years ago the more I convinced myself that my guess might have been right. But if that was correct, then why did he not rely on his friends? Why did he have to chase us away like that? He probably hated us all, for his own reasons. Thinking about Anatoly was not easy.

Dima and Sasha said they could not stand him and addressed him as "bastard" and much worse many times, but I knew them better than they thought. I had no doubts that Dima missed his twin brother, but didn't know how to properly express it, while Sasha had very different issues and the wound ran deeper with him. He felt betrayed and betrayal was one of the worst acts in my friend's eyes and I couldn't do anything to solve it, I couldn't do anything to make my friends feel better. However, I knew him very well and his feelings weren't only made of anger and disappointment. He must have missed Anatoly, too. I felt completely useless, just as I felt useless whenever Tommy fought with my parents or reversed his anger on me.

What had I done wrong?

I shook my head, almost not recognizing myself in the way I let my mind slip into such unpleasant memories and thoughts, letting myself become vulnerable. My eyes caught my reflection n the mirror hanging beside the door of the bedroom and I immediately casted my usual cat-like smile, wanting to reassure myself, wanting to show myself how dazzling and useful a smile could be. Something very true indeed, given last week it saved us all from having to spend longer time in school when Dima and Derek had one of their episodes in class. I chuckled thinking about them and at my friends, the only persons that never let me down.

I observed my reflection a moment longer and slightly adjusted my hair, wanting to look charming as always, loving to feel the attention of the other students whenever I walked in the school's corridors, something that Sasha disliked, even though my friend attracted much attention, just like his boyfriend. My eyes stared back at me from the mirror and I remained silent and still a moment. Sasha had found a special person that he could love freely and at first I felt restless, for I did not want to lose my dearest friend, my Sasha; but, I felt very irrational and almost ungrateful, because I knew him very well and I knew he would never let down the persons he considered important, and I had been fortunate to be considered such by him.

I liked Travis and he proved to be someone very intuitive and sensitive, understanding situations quickly and he was not a prima donna in need of constant attention. He understood the attachment Sasha had with his friends, especially with me, and never said anything, actually simply blending in the group and affecting our friendship only in the best way, for Sasha had slightly softened since he met him. And another interesting person had joined our group, rendering our days even more amusing, for I speculated that Jasper had an unconscious crush for our Russian bear, and I wondered if Dima might also find something special in that very shy, yet sweet kid.

I liked Jasper, for he was a genuine person who must be suffering the weight of a very oppressing family, considered the amount of times he repeated the same words, almost as a nervous tick, the time he stuttered and looked insecure. Very good Travis had befriended him, because he sure needed a friend like him.

I went to grab the handle of the door and then stopped, remembering I had to bring a book to Derek. As I search for it on the shelf hung above my desk, a picture slipped out from another book and fell on the floor. I went to take it and almost froze on the spot as my eyes stopped on it. I had almost forgotten about that picture and the desire to tear it in pieces risked taking the best of me, but then I scolded my own stupidity.

"Better not forget about this, because look at what happens when you misplace trust," I told myself and after eyeing the picture a second time, I put it back inside the book. Thus, my eyes fell on another picture I kept on the desk, a picture that each time left Sasha in his most glacial and hard mood for a few seconds, but that I could not bring myself to throw away. I tried to hide it from him, but what was the point in that? He could read in me quite well and I didn't want to lie to my best friend. At least, not about everything. I halted a moment, shaking my head. I wasn't lying to Sasha, for it was a very different situation and not everything could be spelled out aloud.

I found the book Derek needed and left my room, hearing my mom and Tommy arguing quite loudly in the kitchen; I considered whether stepping in there to see what the matter was, but I decided not to. It was not the right moment and Derek was going to arrive any time soon, given he offered to drive us both to school. Right as I heard him blowing the horn, even if I told him many times to normally wait for me or just ring the door bell, my phone rang and as I read the content of the message I sighed. I should have never agreed on going out with this guy, because he clearly seemed not to understand the meaning of over.

"Hey River, what are you staring at? Did you break someone else's heart?" Dee was always in perfectly cheerful mood and I loved him for that, because I believe in our many years of friendship he was never down or sad. Well, not always. When Anatoly broke from our group Derek didn't take it well immediately, but he was the first of us that tried to pretend he had put it behind his back, because none of us in truth really had. I still wondered what had happened to him but talking made it only worse.

"Hello Derek," I sat in his car and quickly checked the reflection of me in the passenger's mirror.

"Stop checking yourself out, dude. You look hot as usual, happy?"

"Are you sure you are not into guys?" He burst out laughing, but less loudly than Dima usually did, which whenever occurred in class – and that happened not very rarely – the professor would kick him out or reprimand him. On the other side, each time that happened I had to refrain from smiling too obviously, because he was hopeless.

"Nah, not into men like you and that beast of Alex. Oh no, wait, he's only into Travis," he joked and then winked at me. "So, what's up? Someone bothering you because you dumped him for being either boring or not very smart?"

"Close enough," I only conceded, and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Why do I even bother asking you, I still don't get it."

I smiled at him and fished the book out of my backpack to veer the conversation elsewhere. There was no need to discuss about my latest date, who had proved to be a very disappointment and quite the waste of time, especially considered the way he behaved and the way he had dared to address Sasha once. I should have known better than that, but at first, he seemed different and I decided to give it a try, for soon realizing things were very different.

"Here, the book you asked me for." He quickly looked at that and then went back to concentrate on the road in front of us.

"Thanks. I couldn't find it anywhere and when I searched online, Jesus, it cost too much for my taste, so good thing you have it. Now, I can study more relaxed." He hummed the song playing inside the car, one of his favourite singers, and then began to laugh alone, probably to some inner joke he had going on in his mind. "River, what if also Dima would start finding Jasper cute? Well, he already said that kid is cute."

"Jasper is very cute," I agreed, and he smiled in his usual broad and jolly way, his cheeks forming dimples that always looked very adorable on his face. Derek was very handsome, and I always liked the dark chocolate shade of his skin, his bright, black eyes and his quick smile. However, he was a friend, a dear and wonderful friend, and nothing more, as I could never imagine myself with him. Only one person for a while took a very special place in my heart and in a way, he still did.

"Yeah, he's very nice and funny and I would pay gold to see those two together, but well, who am I kidding? Dima is into girls and we all know that, look at how much he horses around school like an idiot, always scoring some date."

"And often getting slapped for his complete lack of tact and for mixing names. He is very famous for that," I reminded him, slightly smiling, because all in all the entire situation was rather comical.

Yet, there might have been a chance, because nothing was set in stone, right? Hmm, that would be very interesting indeed and I wondered how it would play out. Quite an amusing combination, all considered, but for now I believed only Jasper seemed to hold a certain interest for our blonde bear, even if I bet, he wasn't aware of that himself. To think he had mistaken Dima for Anatoly...I averted my eyes to the passenger window and looked outside for a few seconds in complete silence. Then I let go of hushed sigh and went back talking to Derek.

"Would you like dating a guy like Dima?" It was me then chuckling very amused at his question and he also ended following me. "Moronic question. You'd fry his brain and he'd be lost most of the time with you."

"Hmm, I love you guys, but you're my friends and in a way or another none of you would be able to handle me," I teased him as I gave him a mischievous cat-like smile and he laughed more, the best weapon I had when I wanted to distract the other person.

"True that, man. You'd drive us insane," he agreed, nodding to himself. "Well, I'm happy for Alex, because I like his crazy dude and because our glacial beast seems more relaxed since they began dating...or maybe should I say since they began getting some?" I swear, him and Dima paired together were the worst couple of idiots out there; but I loved them.

"Tell that to Sasha," I said on purpose and he shook his head.

"Maybe later," he replied and then, as we arrived at school and he parked the car, he concentrated his eyes on me, a more serious expression on his face. "River, are you sure everything is OK with you? What about Tommy?"

I stared back at him a moment without saying anything, trying to collect my thought and deciding what to say, but I ended up simply smiling.

"Still the same," I answered, opening the door and stepping outside the car, immediately spotting Hayden together with Dima and, for my personal interest and curiosity, our cute and shy Jasper. He looked at our Russian bear with a soft smile and giggled at what he was saying. Perhaps, Dima had found someone that didn't mind listening to his countless nonsense, because he sure could conceive a lot of it and Jasper seemed comfortable in quietly listening to that. "Hey guys," I greeted them and needless to say, our cutie immediately blushed as he looked at me and, on my part, I enjoyed the effect and smiled even more mischievously. Sometimes, I really couldn't help it. "Hello Jasper, how are you today?"

"Uhm, fine, I'm fine, and you?" He quickly moved his eyes to his shoes and instinctively shifted closer to Dima, who observed him with a fond smile. So, Jasper felt comfortable around our other hockey beast, comfortable and relaxed enough to search for him when feeling every shy. Oh...very interesting, but maybe I was simply seeing too much into very small details. I wondered what Travis thought of this and I sure was going to ask him later. In this, we definitely found each other.

"I'm very good, thank you, cutie," I winked at him and he muttered a "oh boy" before sweetly smiling at me.

"Hey, are you trying to flirt and confuse Jas?" Now this was quite new: Dima actually noticed something at first, for I had flirted a bit on purpose with cutie, mostly because his reactions were adorable and because I knew there was no harm in that. I was not his type and I understood it at first. "Man, don't be sneaky, and let's enjoy teasing that beast of Sasha and his crazy mate. Oh, I can't wait to drive them insane with my bullshit."

"Dima, Alex will likely punch you and you know it," Hayden reminded him, and he had a point in that, since Sasha's patience was very limited.

"True, man, and he's freaking strong, so well...oh whatever." He shrugged and checked his phone, having probably received a message for the nth girl he was about to date for probably one or two days. Hopeless indeed.

"We all know you won't be able to keep your mouth shut anyway," Derek chipped in and I just nodded, for he pressed the right button. Dima shoved the phone in his jeans' pocket and rested his elbow on Jasper's shoulder.

"Whatever, at least Jasper and I understand each other: the Force is strong with us." He wiggled his brows at him and of course cutie chuckled at that.

For a sweet moment I had archived the fact also Jasper was another big Star Wars fan, detail that definitely signed the friendship between them. I heard from Travis that he had an older brother and once or twice I asked myself how he would be: the same shy and insecure or actually completely different? He lived in Los Angeles if I remembered correctly, having reached quite a high position in a big IT company with his own skills and talents. Jasper told us a few days ago and mentioned he would soon visit. I was curious to meet him, mostly to see in what the two brothers resembled each other.

Right as we moved to walk into school, Sasha and Travis joined us, the latter greeting us in his usual exuberant and friendly way, for then winking at me after having spotted Jasper talking with Dima. Oh yeah, in a way Travis and I were two of kind. He kissed my friend on the lips and then Jasper immediately went to him, so they fell back talking and I knew why he did that.

"Cutie!" He jumped on his back, causing our younger friend to giggle and almost stumble. "So, tell me what nonsense Dima was talking about?"

"Excuse me?" The guy in question burst out. "I never talk nonsense...well, maybe sometimes?"

"Only sometimes? Hell, the other day you almost got kicked out of class because you fired one of your pearls of wisdom," Travis joked, and they all began laughing quite loudly.

That was one of the reasons I liked him, for he didn't need to be the first and only one for Sasha in every single moment. He understood the value and importance of true friendship very well and he respected it.

"River, how's it going?" Aleksandr asked me, his icy-blue eyes studying me and seeing much more than others did. "Something happened?" I shook my head and he kept silent for a moment, giving me some space.

"Another argument with Tommy," I admitted, avoiding mentioning the other thoughts that flashed in my mind this morning.

"Only that?" I shifted my eyes on him, and I just smiled, but I knew it didn't work with him. "What else, River?" He insisted.

"Nothing else, you worry about me too much, you know this?"

"And you rely on me too little," he counter debated, and I just shook my head.

"You don't need to worry, Sasha, really. This morning an old picture fell into my hands and another one attracted my attention from my desk." He stiffened immediately, growing into his usual cold and distant self whenever some matters surfaced into his mind and heart, knowing what I was talking about, and the word "bastard" was muttered very quietly from him, even if, I wasn't sure which of them he meant. "I just don't want the same happening with Tommy." I could open-up myself this much with Sasha only and even with him, I still had my own limits.

"It won't happen," he immediately replied firmly, meaning each word. "It won't happen, because I swear, I will punch some sense into his mind, no matter what." He then stopped talking, probably thinking about Anatoly. I glanced at him and he quickly gazed back, understanding each other at first and he shook his head as reply to my mute question. "I have no idea what happened with him, but at this point I don't care." He was so angry and felt so betrayed that he spoke words he did not mean. Could I blame him? No, none of us could, because we all felt in the exact same way.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bring this up."

"There is nothing to be sorry for and River? I mean it, tell me if you need help with your brother or anything else. I know you well, so just tell me." Travis had been extremely lucky in finding a man like Sasha.

"Thank you," I simply said, and I quickly kissed his cheek, something neither my best friend nor Travis minded, and I was grateful our friendship did not change of one bit. My phone beeped again, and I checked the reason for that, having Sasha arching his brow in a mute question. "Someone does not understand the word over," I just explained, and he groaned annoyed.

"Let me talk to him," he suggested, and I decided better not for a great number of reasons. "I know you can perfectly take care of yourself, so don't get me wrong, but shit this one really got on my nerves."

"A few people only don't get on your nerves," I pointed out and he snorted, rolling his eyes, as of course I was right. "Don't worry about it, after this message I am about to send him, I'm sure he won't bother to write back again."

"Fine, you have a way with word and it usually leaves people feeling like a little shit."

"Should I take it as compliment or an insult?" He just smiled from one side of his mouth and I didn't miss the way he glanced at Travis, his eyes immediately changing expression, just like his entire face. "How is it going with him?" I asked, being honestly happy for the fact he found a person he obviously loved.

"Great. I have planned a date for this weekend," he only replied, and I comprehended it must have been something special.

"Then it will be extraordinary, since you definitely never did anything like this before."

"I never met anyone like Travis before," he immediately said and I smiled at feeling the love in his voice, the desire he felt for his boyfriend, the deep attachment they had quickly developed. I was honestly happy for him.

"I know you haven't, and I agree with you: he's quite special," I commented, winking at him and as I replied I caught part of the conversation between Travis and Jasper, explaining his brother was coming home once more during the weekend. And again my thoughts and curiosity wandered at the Lucas brothers, in what they resembled and in what not, because from what I heard, he gave me the impression of being different. Very different.

"How's your brother?" Dima asked and Travis and I exchanged a conspiratorial look. Oh, there was no doubt we were going to have fun, being right about my assumptions or not.

"He's amazing," Jasper immediately rushed out in replying, his smile widening as he spoke about him. He definitely was a great older brother and that already gave me a good impression, remining me of the way Tommy used to look at me. I pushed that thought aside and simply listened to cutie. "And he taught me a lot about games, so I became quite good thanks to him."

"You play games?" Dima enquired with bright and happy eyes, looking like a puppy in front of a big treat.

"Yep," he timidly replied and he our Russian bear burst out in his typical loud laughing.

"That's awesome, man. Let's play together sometimes, what do you say?" I concentrated my eyes on Jasper and Travis did the same.

"Uhmm, sure, why not?" He slightly blushed and looked at his shoes immediately.

So, I had been right about him and then I realized that perhaps also his older brother was another geek like him and a big Star Wars fan; not that I would mind it, of course, but it made me wonder more whether he was an older version of Jasper or not.

NICHOLAS POV – LOS ANGELES, TWO WEEKS BEFORE:

I stared at my phone and the number of Aaron appeared on it, trying to call me for the fifth time after I told him there was not much to talk about. Over a week ago he had cheated on me after having sworn it would not happen another time and it actually occurred in one of the worst possible ways: him very drunk and taking the guy back to our place. I hadn't been able to sleep in our bedroom since then, thus I spent my nights in the guest room, not wanting to share the same bed with him, especially where someone else fucked him. Unforgivable. Soon, I would need to consider changing everything in it, if not changing place at all.

Coming back from an exhausting, long business trip and finding him asleep in bed with another man over him had not been a pleasant and welcoming view, and for a very quick moment the desire to hit that guy flashed in my mind, but it also quickly disappeared. What would be the point in that? I did not hit that man naked in my bed because I wasn't mad at him. As he scampered around the room ashamed, picking up his clothes, my boyfriend, if I could still call him such, staring at me horrified and finally sobering up, I felt very tired and I found myself pondering how many times it must have already happened.

I stared at Aaron without saying a word, avoiding letting myself get too involved and personal in front of a stranger, who had the courtesy and decency to leave without breathing out useless words. That made it easier not to punch him. I had a feeling for a moment he feared for his nose and teeth, considered the way I assessed them both, hence the reason he hastily left in complete silence.

I remember staring at my boyfriend as if I were looking at a rock, feeling nothing in that moment, just finding myself an idiot for having trusted him again, for having misplaced my faith.

"Well, did you enjoy your night? It looks like you were busy," I sarcastically and coldly remarked and after that, after having spared him another disappointed glance, I walked out of the room and drove to a hotel, not wanting to see him for a few days.

He ran after me and tried to catch me, but I didn't want to feel his hands on me. What I had seen before was enough and I made a mental note to book an appointment at a private clinic for a blood test, because at this point, I had to make sure of it. At the point where we stood, I could no longer be sure of anything.

The phone kept ringing annoyingly and I refused his call, switching the phone off. But what if Jasper had something important to tell me or a message to send me? Thus, I switched it on, to find there more missed calls from Aaron. I chose the silent mood and placed it in my jacket's inner pocket. I would think about this later, because I was all too aware that for now, I could not kick him out. I wished I could, after the way he behaved, but I had to be the bigger person and stay rational for a while, at least until Aaron would sort out his situation.

Right as I imagined, my phone vibrated and I had just received a message from my little brother, which made me smile as I read it. He had found a very good friend and I was less worried about him, for he no longer was alone in school. I didn't want to appear or act too anxious or protective around Jasper, because he had been oppressed enough from our mother, not to mention the fact our father cared nothing about us in terms of happiness and dreams. I worried about my brother of course but letting my worries weight on his shoulders and on his mind would have rendered everything worse. He needed to feel more confident, so I always kept available if he needed to talk and he knew he'd be welcome here to Los Angeles whenever he wanted.

I considered whether telling Jasper about this or not, but I opted for saying nothing. There was no need to burden him at the moment and we were going to have some time for talking soon, since I had to fly to New York for a business meeting over the weekend. I wanted to meet his new friends and see for myself how he was doing now in school, what kind of people they were; however, I doubted I would have the time considered the quite tight schedule, but I could try to visit once more soon enough. I heard only good things about them so far, aside that Dmitri and I didn't like the idea of that piece of trash around my little brother.

But it was strange they all seemed fine with him, so I wondered if perhaps there was a mistake? Impossible, I immediately reminded myself, for the simple reason Jasper never lied. Then again, how could such seemingly capable and nice guys be friend with such subject? I needed to see into this myself, because I was aware that he could not count on our parents.

I leaned back on my chair, staring at the monitor of my computer and the number of emails I still had to read. I had days in which I felt guilty for having left Jasper in New York, but it was a decision I had to take and make, knowing my little brother was actually much stronger than he appeared. He also was sincerer than myself, given I hadn't come out to my parents as gay yet, honestly not wanting to hear their trite and useless sermons. But Jasper had the guts to admit it aloud and I admired him very much, which also prompt me in taking the decision to tell my parents the big, shocking news. Yes, my brother was not weak, but just very insecure and oppressed by our mother.

The screen of my phone lit up and once more and the number of Aaron appeared on it. I sighed out more and massaged my temples. I had to reply, because I couldn't avoid him longer than this; he might have come to my work place and make a scene and I definitely did not want that.

"Yes?" I only said, keeping my tone hard and distant.

"Nicky honey, we need to talk in person, please."

"To talk about what? You sleeping around behind my back after having given me your word that it was one-time mistake only? You cannot expect me to trust you more after this." I sure did not and the blood test I took spoke enough of how much I no longer believed in me. I was clean, thank God, but that wasn't the main issue. He had betrayed me in such way that I knew there was no going back for me; I had no problems in giving second chances when deserved, but Aaron went too far and abused of my patience.

"I made a huge and terrible mistake, I know that, I was just drunk, but I cannot live without you and you know that. You were so busy recently and I felt alone, so I just made a very stupid mistake...please baby?"

"Don't call me like that," I immediately snapped, because I couldn't stand hearing that word coming from his insincere mouth. He felt alone? Since when? Even with a tight and busy schedule I always tried my best to give him the needed attention and affection, never neglecting dates, dinners, or whatever the hell he wanted to do. The more I thought about the more I realised how immensely stupid I had been. "Aaron, what are you talking about? You cannot possibly accuse me of not having cared for you, because you perfectly know how things are. You took advantage of my patience and of my generosity...too much advantage."

"Nicholas, please...I love you and you must believe me! We can have dinner together tonight, when you will return from work I'll prepare your favourites, and we can discuss it and find a way to.." I interrupted him at once. There was no way to find out; I had taken days away from him, first sleeping in a hotel close to my workplace and then to the guestroom, getting some space, but I still felt the same disappointment. I knew there was no going back.

"Aaron, I do not want to discuss it anymore. You betrayed me and you took a complete stranger into our apartment, into our bed, what do you expect from me? I already forgave you in the past and overlooked your constant flirting whenever we go out, but this goes beyond my limits."

"Nicky..." he pleaded more, probably crying like the wonderful and impeccable drama-queen he was.

"I have work to do, so I have no time to talk over the phone. Do not worry, I won't kick you out, because I know your situation all too well, but do me a favour for the next couple of days: go visit your friend Adele and stay at her place. She'll be delighted to see you." And pretty much bad mouth me, since for some reason that woman has always hated me. "Are we understood? When I am back from work, I don't want to see you there for a couple of days. I need some time for myself and then, we will see how to arrange everything. Use my car, if you need it."

"Nicholas, please don't do this," he begged, his crying becoming stronger and I just levelled out a long, tired breath.

"I have to go," I just said and with that, I closed the conversation.

The last visit to New York proved to be quite explosive, considering the major argument we had with my parents and my almost shouting to their face the fact I was gay. I should have taken a picture of our mother's face, but then she turned against Jasper and I saw red. Heavier words were said and when she accused him further, I threatened to take him with me to Los Angeles instantly. Father halted for a split of a second at my words and tried to reason over the situation, but Jasper declared that he was not ready to leave New York yet. Thus, I followed his wish and decision.

The argument and my mother's reaction, along with the fact I had not managed to meet his friends, prompt me in booking another plane ticket for the following weekend. I had to make sure things were fine in our house, because I was well aware what kind of person our mother was, what twisted power she had in rendering people's life miserable.

Now, Jasper talked very fast over the phone and I just smiled while listening to him, walking around the kitchen in the intent to arrange something to eat. Aaron had followed my request and stayed at his friend's place for more than a week, giving me the necessary break. I found something in the fridge, and I placed the phone with the speaker on beside me on the table as I began cooking a quick and easy meal.

"Uhm, I mean, do you understand what I am saying, Nic? I mistook Dima for Anatoly! Oh boy, can you believe it? They are twins and yet so different and we went to watch a Star Wars movie together, because Nic, he also likes Star Wars. I'm so happy I listened to Travis and talked to Alex." I softly chuckled at the enthusiasm in his voice, especially when he talked about this Dmitri. "What is it?"

"Nothing, Jasper, I'm just happy you solved this situation and found out he is not whom you believed to be."

"Me too, you have no idea, and he is really funny," he continued, still talking about the same guy.

"Jasper?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you perhaps like or somehow have a crush on Dmitri?"

"Oh boy, what? No, no, no...I mean, he likes girls and well, he usually goes out a lot with them and well, no, no...I...I don't like him," he fretted and stuttered, so I let it go and decided to see things for myself in the weekend.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I will see you on Friday evening, OK? There is no need to pick me up at the airport, because I will take a cab."

"You know I'll be there anyway."

"I know, Jasper. Thank you," I said in all honesty, meaning many things with those two simple words.

"Boy Nic, thanks for what? You are the one always listening to me and not vice versa. How are things for you?" I still had not told him everything, because I was waiting to be back home with more available time, and last weekend I kept everything for myself. All considered, Jasper surely didn't need to hear about that.

"I am fine, little brother, and don't worry about me. We will talk more very soon."

"OK," he conceded, always very respectful and aware of other people's mood and feelings, but I sensed that he might have guessed something was off with me, for he kept quiet a few seconds. "Oh, Dima had the idea of maybe organizing something all together this Sunday and you will join us this time, right?" I was really curious to meet this guy, because it was clear my brother liked him in some way, be it pure friendship or a crush, the latter more possible in my mind, given the eagerness he poured into his words whenever mentioning him.

"Yes, I would not mind it," I just replied. "Jasper, how about dinner just you and me after we leave the airport? Our usual place."

"Won't mother mind that?" Oh right, our wonderful and lovely mother would insist in having tedious and useless family dinners where there was nothing of remotely family-like going on, no warm or spontaneous feelings, only clipped and measured words. I did not want to face that again and I knew Jasper surely needed a break from that.

"Don't worry about that, I will talk to her and say we just want to spend some time together discussing your future choice concerning college. She will be delighted in knowing I will try to shape you in a future, capable and well-behaved Lucas." He giggled at that, as I had just mocked her voice while I spoke the last words.

"Alright, Lucas brothers' dinner at our favourite place!" He cheered and I chuckled, pleased to recently hear him often in real good mood. Our favourite place was nothing our parents would approve, but we couldn't care less, for it was a great place where to get burgers, fries and cheesecakes, where we could sit relaxed and simply normally talk and laugh without having to care about anything else.

"Deal," I promised and then stirred the food in the pan. "Jas, do you mind if we continue talking later? I need to finish cooking and I would like not to burn it."

"Sure, later Nic," he said, and I answered back, for then switching the conversation off and completing my very late lunch.

I was happy at the idea of going home and spend some time with my brother, just us talking about our usual things, and then meeting his friends. I definitely needed a break, especially after the past days. Three nights ago, after work, I drove to a gay bar and sat there with a cocktail I barely touched, wanting to spend the night with some random guy, out of spite for what Aaron had done to me. I would have had a couple of occasions, but as one sat beside me, trying to flirt, I felt rather pathetic and out of place. I wasn't like that and I didn't need to pay Aaron back in any way, for I definitely did not feel like one-night stand. I paid for my drink and politely saluted the man sitting beside me, for then driving back home. Alone.

Yes, if I were to be with someone else, it was going to be only with a special person whom I sincerely cared about, someone who would capture my mind and heart, aside ignite my desire. I had no need to place myself at same level of Aaron's and I just wanted to meet a person I could trust and love completely, not having to withstand certain questionable behaviours, not having to constantly tell myself to be the bigger person and forgive and forget.

I just wanted to lose myself in a man that honestly loved me, if that was ever possible.

Author's chit-chat:

What are your first impression, opinions and ideas about our River and Nicholas?
I guess we have  a better insignt into Nic's world and problems now, but we will learn much more with the coming chapters.

Yes, of course, I have hinted at some other issues and persons in River's past and also for Nic, any guess?

River will be a challenge, because when I write under his POV, I must be very careful and really ponder over the words and what I am going to say. Oleg was not easy at the beginning, but in a different way and then, I grew very much attached to his character. River...River is special. But I have a feeling that Nicholas will be very pleasant to write about :-)

We had the gang once more reunited and I must be honest with you: writing these moments are always hilarious and pleasant for me. I really love them. I am sure you understand me.

I am working on CH.31 of "Loving You is Forbidden" and I hope to post it VERY SOON, given this week was spent hurrying pretty much every day. Also, if you haven't read it, go and read the Epilogue of "Fallen for an Angel", posted last week. Now that story is complete and concluded.

Dear All, stay tuned for more updates and let me know what you think of this chapter, for you know I love reading your comments, thank you :-)

Have All a lovely Friday and weekend!

Lots of Love, Hugs, Magic & Meows,
-TheWitchAndTheCat-