Dear All,

As promised yesterday, here comes a new chapter for "Beyond Those Irresistible Eyes" and we have the usual long update, but you enjoy it, so we are all happy about it ^-^

In this chapter, we concentrate particularly on a situation, seeing it from three different POVs as I think it's very important and well, we know it's a main issue for River. Also, I think having Alexi's POV helps us all to see some things from a different perspective, raise more important questions.

I won't say much about this chapter, as you will see by reading and I really hope you will enjoy it, so please let me know as usual with your lovely and amazing comments, messages and votes: THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

I am sorry I had not being able to post much recently, but aside the fact I have a lot of work and it was getting a bit mental, I am also at home with my parents since beginning of July, so spending time with them. However, I am trying my best to write and give you new chapters 😊

I picked a song that I think suited the chapter and then, I would like to dedicate it to all of you, as you were waiting for this for very long time (sorry!!!) and in particular to my dear archanapal8, as a big THANK YOU for your kind and sweet message and as I big, magic HUG for you!

And now, enjoy it!

"Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That's part of what it means to be alive," by Haruki Murakami in "Kafka on the Shore"

ALEKSANDR POV:

"I don't need you to always care about me, because I'm not as perfect as you are, I'll never be the way mom wants me to be, exactly like you, another perfect River, do you understand me?" I could feel River tensing up while his brother threw at us, at my friend in particular, a very annoyingly arrogant and spiteful look, uttering words that were really starting to tick me off quite a lot.

He had no right whatsoever to speak to River like that nor insult or purposefully humiliate him, taking out on my friend whatever the hell was going on with him. I quickly eyed River and he had turned into a piece of ice, worry and pain showing on his face, which was all saying it, considered his well-known ability of masking his emotions and thoughts.

And so, my blood hissed more in my head, annoyance building up, thinking that I had to keep it cool because, first of all he was a snotty younger brat just trying to piss us off on purpose, and secondly, more important, he was my best friend's brother. I had promised to keep my temper on a leash and try to talk some sense into him, yet I could see this was going to be quite the task. However, the following words almost had me seeing red and I remained remotely calm because of the just two mentioned reasons.

"And I'm not saying hi to you, Aleksandr, and who cares if you got some boyfriend or whatever the hell, he looked just..."

Shit, this little brat really was pushing the wrong buttons and not simply insulting my best friend, but as well Travis. I had to really call every little ounce of my short patience and remind myself this was just a brat trying to piss us off in the obvious and very maddening intent to hurt his older brother. Yet, my face must have expressed my sudden rage that I managed to restrain, because Thomas shut up at once and grew pale, taking a step back, realizing he had said something very stupid and potentially dangerous.

Oh, he had no idea how lucky he was for being River's brother and younger than us, because another person might have already tasted my punch for trying to talk shit about my Travis. My friend stepped beside me and placed a hand on my arm, somehow afraid my patience and temper would snap, but as his fingers slightly squeezed around it, I understood he was silently thanking me for keeping remotely controlled. However, Thomas Kelley was still going to hear from me, because he had gone too far for my taste. What the hell was wrong with him? What happened? I have asked this to myself many times, wondering if he also would go down the same path as that bastard who used to my best friend.

But no...no. Thomas would never turn out like that traitor; it was just a guts' feeling and nothing more and I might have been wrong for all I knew, but that's what my instinct suggested. However, River was worried about this and he didn't need to voice it out. I understood he was deadly afraid of losing his brother in the same way Dima lost his, in the same way he had lost a dear friend. Yeah, it was true he had always been very attached to him, Anatoly, having sides of their personalities that matched, both sometimes being quiet and definitely smart. Yet, it all changed and went down the drain.

But Thomas and Anatoly were entirely different; whatever issues was biting their idiotic ass, they were different matters and, as I listened to River's brother a moment, it was clear a sort of jealousy and rivalry, pretty much hostility, had developed toward him and I hope dining with them would let me see through the potential triggering factors.

Also, I believed River had to ask Nicholas about this, for two very simple reasons. He seemed an intelligent and quite understanding person, who clearly liked my best friend at first, not wasting time in asking him out and that impressed me in the best sense, because he had gone for it and kept it reserved. Secondly, he also had a younger brother who, differently from River, lived with quite the stuck-up and very pressuring parents. So, maybe Nicholas would be able to understand better what was going on and help River.

I had met him once only so far, but he didn't bother me and actually, I thought he would be a good match for my smartass friend, because such a person could get on an even ground with him. Not to mention, I didn't miss the fact River liked him, quite a lot, even though he said nothing explicitly and I respected that. Travis only once commented they would make a perfect couple and I agreed with him, but of course, my sensitive and extraordinary boyfriend hadn't asked for anything, knowing River was a very reserved person, respecting his choice of keeping it private.

Travis...he was simply my incredible love, the only I would love for my entire life, which explained my following words to Thomas.

"What were you about to say, Thomas Kelley?" I demanded authoritatively, since of course I wasn't going to snap at him, but at the same time I wasn't going to completely forget the fact he was about to insult my Travis. River kept touching my arm, but I felt him easing down. I really hated to see him so stressed and worried, feeling useless in front of this. I hated it because he had always been there for me, no matter what, because he truly was an incredible friend. "If you have something to say, spit it out at my face right now, or if you have something to say to River, do that, instead of getting whatever bullshit is going on in your mind." I looked down on him, given he still was growing and being shorter than I was.

The two brothers resembled each other quite a lot, both having deep blue eyes, the same shade of hair, the same defined face's lines, a similar smile whenever they were happy and in good mood, a smile I hadn't seen on Thomas for long time already. Yet, River was a charmer and knew it, his smile most of the time making you think of a cat studying you, and his brother had none of them, just as his eyes never really assessed everything and everyone, being more open about his emotions, more straightforward. He used to almost idolize his brother and follow us around quite a lot, something that never bothered me because it felt like having a younger brother. But it changed suddenly into this, into something that deeply hurt my friend and I could not just sit and look at that as if nothing.

"Dinner is ready," their mother called from the kitchen, for then coming to the hall probably having heard our voices. "What's going on?" She obviously understood we had some sort of confrontation and I just quickly smiled at her.

"Nothing," Thomas chewed out between his teeth, looking at the floor and quickly leaving. Her eyes moved on River, who shook his head and let out a tired sigh. Shit, I really wanted to slap some sense into that snotty little brat.

"Nothing mom, really, we were just talking," he replied with a smile I understood too well. His mother thought about something and once more, smiled at me.

"Maybe he is in a bad mood because he received another bad mark in his latest test, even though I told him he should have asked you and that the school in which he is studying is not as difficult and severe as yours, in terms of scholastic curriculum." I said nothing to that and kept my usual poker face, but somehow her words surprised me. Was she pressuring him with marks and studying? That didn't seem the way she always was, as I have known Judith for many years and she always appeared very accepting and affectionate; but maybe the little wimp was giving them hard times with school and such and a bit of discipline was necessary, I couldn't know well. Although, that could not have just been the reason for turning Thomas so much against his brother. It didn't make sense. "Alex, I prepared your favourite for tonight and are you still seeing that...boyfriend of yours, forgive me, but what was his name?"

Again, her words surprised me, and I barely smiled back, not having quite liked what she seemed to imply with her question. I knew without any sort of doubt that River's parents were completely fine with his being gay, having always supported him and understood it, so her comment had nothing to do with that. Nonetheless, both the tone of her voice and way to look at us slightly ticked me off. I entirely covered it though, and pretended nothing happened, for River's sake, because he was worried enough and because I had not missed the way his body froze in place as she spoke.

I could see dinner was going to be quite the tense one and, even though I never liked to meddle into people's business and get involved in their issues, I was glad to be there for and with my friend.

"Thank you very much for having me over for dinner, I always enjoy your cooking and yes, of course, I am together with my Travis and we are doing great." Because that was the pure truth and because that was the name of my boyfriend.

"I must admit I was surprised when River explained me you had found a boyfriend," she commented with another smile, a cunning smile similar to my best friend, for he had taken after his mother in terms of that and eyes. River, still beside me, stiffened and quickly moved his glance between us two, fixing it then on his mother. "He seems a nice person," she said, showing us to follow her to the kitchen and we did so. "He doesn't play ice-hockey like you, right?"

"Travis is simply wonderful," I said openly, and I didn't miss how her eyes slightly widened at my frankness. Was there a problem with this or didn't she like my boyfriend? That would have been very strange, so perhaps I was reading too much into that and she was just simply surprised as she stated a moment ago, which would make perfect sense with how I used to be. "He dances and he is extremely talented."

"Travis sure is talented at that, I saw a couple of videos," River immediately said, for then quickly winking at me. She nodded and then went ahead, my friend grabbing my arm as a silent request to halt a moment. I creased my forehead and noticed he looked at the door of the kitchen closing behind his mother. "I am sorry for what she said and for my brother's behaviour. You know he did it on purpose before, right?"

"Yeah, I understood he was trying to piss us off, so I kept my infamous temper on a leash," I replied in all honesty. "And River, you have nothing to be sorry for, she said nothing strange or bad," I reassured him. "Also, even if she would have said it, you should not be the one apologizing. You are my best friend, don't forget this." It was obvious he was mulling my words and what happened in his mind and then, after a couple of seconds, he nodded and quickly kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, Sasha. I'll never cease to say that Travis truly is lucky and so are we all, to have you as friend." I just shook my head and let my hand quickly brush the nape of his neck, seeing it brought a genuine smile on his face. "I think I will take your advice and ask him." He meant Nicholas and that was probably the best idea. He was less involved than I was, in the sense he for sure could keep a far more rational and impartial view, because he had never met Thomas nor went through the shit dumped on us with Anatoly. He had given me the idea of someone perceptive and intelligent, affectionate with his younger brother, and obviously, supporting him. He was probably the best person to talk about this.

"Good, now, let's go for dinner, because I can tell it's going to be funny," I partially joked, and River sighed out.

"I am not sure what's going on recently, with my brother and, I must admit, also with my mom, because..." He halted himself and recollected his usual expression before joining the rest of his family.

I wondered what their father thought of all of this, having always being the most calm and patient person I have ever met, clearly adoring his two sons and giving them all the support he could, even when often busy with work, since they owned a couple of restaurants and that required time. I also wondered what River wanted to say about this mother, but I let it go. Her behaviour had been strange enough, and I hoped she wasn't pressuring them in a way or another, for one reason or another, especially not my best friend.

As I anticipated, dinner proved to be a rather tense one, seeing Thomas glaring at everyone from time to time, not speaking as he usually did, having always being the one in perpetual good and excited mood whenever around us. I must admit it wasn't nice to witness the change in him and I understood why River was so worried; but the same story with Anatoly wasn't going to repeat, because I refused to believe it possible. I refused to believe that also Thomas Kelley had such rotten seed in him. Then again, I observed their parents. Michael, their father, looked tired because of work and often eyed his younger son with a questioning expression, but saying nothing, while their mother made a couple of comments.

Once, I noticed how their father caught her eyes and shook his head, as if telling her to let it go. And then, again, she asked something about Travis, about how we met, expressing her surprise about the fact it was pretty recent and quite quick. What did she mean by that?

"As I already told you, mom, Travis is quite the exceptional person," River intervened, seeing how his father smiled fondly at him. Yeah, my friend had taken the sensible and understanding traits from his father. "He helped Jasper a lot and, in a way, he also helped Dima becoming friend with our cutie and clearing out a big misunderstanding, just as I know he helped in other things." He knew that being with Travis had a healing effect on my anger issues and that apparently, I was being slightly less icy than usual. I was grateful to my friend for taking my boyfriend's side.

"So, he had transferred only recently, correct?" She inquired.

"Yes, he transferred in September, when the new year started," I quickly replied, studying her face and reminding myself to keep it cool and relaxed. Something stirred in my blood at all these questions aimed at him and I felt the need to defend my Travis.

"I heard from others in school that he has changed three schools and had some problems in the former one, partially due to his behaviour." At her words, my entire mind and heart became a piece of hard and very cold ice, remembering what he had told me about those fuckers, the way they had dared to beat him, what they had done to him, and then, my body began to shiver for the anger mounting inside of me, which I had a very difficult time to control.

That was none of her goddamned business and I wasn't sure how long I could keep my rage under control before letting it out. Just thinking about what Travis went through, the shit he had to shoulder because of those bastards was enough to make me see red and want to destroy things around me. I kept rooted in my chair, my eyes now observing her without moving or blinking, and she must have felt my state of mind, because she looked away and apologized.

"I am sorry, Alex, I did not mean to say anything against him, I was merely curious to understand what happened. He seems a nice person," she added, but I said nothing to that.

What was her damn problem?

"If Travis had problems in his former school it wasn't because of his behaviour or attitude, since I can guarantee you he is an incredible person," River genuinely spoke, having perceived my state of mind and seething, growing anger. "If he had problems, it was because people sometimes have a hard time accepting who is different and standing his own ground and his own ideas. Travis is like that and he never hid his homosexuality, which might have ticked some people off, especially because he is the kind of person who will face you directly. This attitude scares and annoys some very narrowminded people. Also, don't forget some idiots do enjoy bullying, just as it happened with Jasper before he met Travis."

He paused and I looked at him, seeing an expression I never saw on his face, eyes set hard just like his mouth, his features looking tense.

"I never experienced that in my entire life, because I was lucky to have you accepting it and my friends beside me in school, protecting me more than I ever realized; but I have a feeling Travis had to face this, possibly alone, aside for his mother, who I understand supports him in everything." I nodded because it was clear Michelle Henderson loved her son deeply.

Yes, River of course had understood a lot about my love, and I could see why he now looked so upset. He put himself in Travis's shoes and imagined what would have happened to him if their instances were switched and I could tell he didn't like it one bit. That was why he had liked him quickly and easily. He respected and admired my Travis's strength and way of approaching things, because, no matter of the shit hitting him, he would always face it upfront and with a dazzling smile on his gorgeous face, chin and head up, back straight. Yeah, my Travis was amazing indeed, and so was my best friend for understanding this, for taking his side.

"I understand what you mean, son," his father spoke, placing a hand over his wife's one, giving both of them a gentle smile, the same one River had from time to time. "And of course, both you and Tommy know we love you, unconditionally, and that you can always count on us, no matter what." He glanced directly at his younger son, who had gone very quiet and was barely breathing, just staring down on his plate, having understood those words were meant for him. "I never met your boyfriend, Aleksandr, but please, tell him he will be welcomed here for dinner or lunch, as all of River's and Tommy's friends always are."

Ah yes, River took quite a lot after his father.

"Thank you, Michael, I will tell him so," I only said, and I could see my friend relaxing and eyeing his father with true attachment, but it lasted shortly, because the little brat burst out in one of his most annoying performances.

"We don't need to have another one like River at our table and why should we always have his friends over but never mine? I don't know Travis and he looks too weird and..." his mouth shut at once as our eyes met. River had turned into a piece of stone and was barely breathing, maintaining an apparently composed face only because he was very good at that. Their parents stared at their younger son in disbelief, but one detail registered in my mind: Judith Kelley had made quite an expression when Thomas described Travis as weird and stiffened imperceptibly as her husband invited him over, which wasn't going to happen anyway, knowing Travis would never want to impose on others.

I wondered if she disliked my boyfriend.

Why so?

I didn't like the idea and I went to reply, but their father anticipated me.

"Enough, Thomas, do apologize to Alex immediately and what are you talking about? Your friends are always welcomed and it's you no longer inviting them over." The irritating dimwit kept silent, staring down at his place, an obstinate expression written all over his face. But I didn't miss at how River listened to that and I sure noticed the detail about his friends. So, different group of friends? "I am waiting."

"I don't want to apologize to him," he spat out with real resentment and River went to talk, but I stopped him by placing a hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright, Michael," I said, still touching my friend's shoulder and seeing from the corner of my eye that he quickly smiled at me in gratitude. "Judith, I must say your roasted chicken with potatoes is always very good and I am sure my Travis would also enjoy it, but he is usually extremely busy with dancing."

"Thank you, Alex," she replied and then went to offer a second serving, which I politely refused because she had already given me quite a lot and, honestly speaking, I no longer felt like eating much.

Dinner continued in a rather forced calm mood and I could see it weighted down on River very much, even though he masked it very well and pretended to make small conversation, wanting to defuse possible explosive situations with his brother, wanting to make me feel comfortable; so, I just ate and spoke as much normally as I could, for then sitting a while alone with my friend in his bedroom.

"I'm sorry for tonight, Sasha," he immediately said we sat down on the bed and I shook my head.

"You have nothing to apologize for, so don't," I firmly said, but he slumped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, his arms open wide, the TV softly buzzing in the background as we had switched it on to watch something while we talked.

"I don't know what's with him and then with my mother, and Sasha please, don't think bad of her, I'm sure she likes Travis and..." I stopped him, for I hated seeing my friend so worried. Sure, I hadn't liked much her attitude, but I let it go, and River didn't have anything to be sorry for. I think they were all just a bit too stressed because of that small dimwit and the mere idea made me want to slap some sense in him even more.

"River, I know and please stop worrying, alright? I mean, if you want to talk, I'm here listening to you, if not, let's just watch a movie, got it? Whichever you decide is fine by me, but stop worrying about tonight and about me feeling uncomfortable, because I don't give a damn about that, I care about you, got it?"

He stayed completely silent for a while and then nodded, a grateful smile on his lips, his arms then going around my neck for a quick yet strong hug.

"You truly are my best friend," he openly told me, and I felt my lips reciprocating the same smile.

"And so are you," I answered in all honesty.

He moved his head on my lap and I let him, realizing it was a silent request of help, seeing the evening had really tired him and of course he was very concerned about his brother, because he had every right to feel in that way. We watched something for a while, talking a bit about my game of tomorrow and I really hoped that helped him in relaxing; although, I had a feeling he would later call Nicholas and that guy probably could really help him. There was something in him that struck me in the right way, and, for the first time, I didn't mind the person my best friend was seeing.

RIVER POV:

Sasha had already left, saying he had to wake up early in the morning, because he had been called to play at a practice game for a college team; they had noticed him and wanted to test him or see his skills, and I knew he was going to be one of the best out there tomorrow, if not the best one. Among all of us, he was the most talented in ice-hockey and we all knew that. He stayed over a bit more after dinner, watching something in my room as we talked, the entire evening having being quite difficult, and I felt bad for him, granted he had been involved in my family's issues. My friend didn't mind it and let it go once it was over, but something still bothered me and, right after he left, I went to look for my mom, finding her in the living room watching some TV alone.

"Mom, what was that earlier with Sasha? Especially about Travis?" I asked, going to sit on the armchair to her left, observing her expression without wanting to appear too obvious in that. I had to understand what she was thinking about.

"What do you mean?" She asked lowering down the volume of the TV, fixing her eyes on me, as well observing me. "I was just merely curious to understand and hear more about this guy he is now dating," she answered at my silent staring back and I had to control my reaction by simply smiling and chuckling quietly. "I am still surprised Alex realized being gay and I wanted to understand what is about this guy."

"His name is Travis and you know that, so please refrain from saying certain things about him, especially in front of Sasha, because he is extremely protective of him and he does really love him. You should see them together and you would understand it completely."

"But I was considering that it seems strange that a person like Alex fell quickly in love with a guy like this one, Travis, because they look so different from one another, like opposites almost, and he is so...how to correctly describe him?" She tilted her head to the side, and I felt an unpleasant feeling slithering slowly in my limbs, now entirely grasping what she was after and at what her comments and questions of before aimed. I never thought she could consider that, because she should already have known my feelings for Sasha: I loved him as my best and dearest friend, nothing more. "Yes, he is very showy and flamboyant, with white bleached hair, make-up and such...quite the unexpected person."

"He has his own style and it suits him," I only commented, waiting for more, because I knew more would come from her and I had to hear it clear and openly.

"I am sure it does suit him alright, but I was wondering: what if Alex would change his mind? I know you said you see him as a friend only, but I'm sure you had a crush on him or more." I said and did nothing to that, just let talk, as I sure wasn't going to confirm it, not now of all moments. "And now he has realized he likes other guys, so why this Travis? I think you would be more suitable for him and you know each other since you were small kids." She paused a moment and I felt my expression freezing at those words, trying to remain unaltered. Why would she bring this up? "Your father already told me to keep it for myself, but I felt right telling you, River. I think you and Alex should be together. He is simply a wonderful guy and you know we all love him very much."

I had to control my reaction as she voiced her thoughts, already having guessed where she aimed, so I slightly bit my lower lip as I carefully smiled, observing her observing me back, but not understanding all that was going on inside of me. Her words unsettled me for a few reasons and, one of the most important was that I was seeing Nicholas and hearing this settled in the wrong way. For a split of a second, I felt the need to say that it was not Sasha who should be with me, the right person for me, but I kept my mouth wisely closed.

First of all, she knew nothing of Nicholas and explaining her how we met would have not done any good, only complicating things, not to mention we both had agreed to keep it quiet and between us two only for now. Secondly, was Nic the right person for me? I liked him and very much, I wanted to see him and I could not wait for that moment, to lose myself in his arms and kisses, to talk to him while staring at his warm and confident eyes, to hear his voice while having him right in front of me. But...it was still a lot to say whether he was the right person or not, because we had just met and I wanted to discover more of him, get to know more of the man he was.

However, this didn't change the fact I didn't like to hear what mom said about Sasha and me. We weren't meant to be together because he was my best friend and because I saw the way he had slowly changed with Travis; nobody else would have sorted out such effect on my friend and that for the simple reason I believed they were sort of soul mates. What I wanted to find out was that if such thing would be possible also for me.

"Mom, I know you love Sasha and who wouldn't like him?" I replied with a calculated light chuckle, since that was true anyway. "I think every mother would be happy to have their daughter dating him and we both know this, but you need to understand that he truly loves Travis and that he is my best friend and nothing else. I don't see him in that way and yes, I might have found him very handsome, impossible to deny it, but no more than that," I calmly explained and blatantly lied, setting my firm stare on her, locking my eyes with hers. She had to understand me once and for all. "Please, do not bring this up again, because it's really pointless and I don't want to make him uncomfortable, not to mention, he is my best friend and nothing more." I paused a moment to let my words entirely sink in her, for then settling this matter definitely. At least I hoped so. "We would not work together in that way and I understood it entirely in the past months."

That was the pure truth. Yes, I had loved Sasha and very much, there still was a sort of lingering attachment to him and losing him would break me in infinite pieces, but nothing else. I wouldn't have been able to bring out that side of him as Travis did, nor I would probably be able to enjoy his rather possessive side as lover. He wasn't controlling, since he wasn't an asshole, but sure he was very territorial and always showed it openly, claiming his boyfriend as his and only his, something Travis loved and needed. I desired being at the centre of Nicholas's thoughts and being wanted by him, but the need to be claimed in such way was not what I required. What I expected was something different and...maybe Nic slightly grasped it when we spoke the other time, because he truly was exceptional and so understanding.

Mom looked at me and went to say something, but she just smiled and nodded once. I wanted to add more, but I refrained from that, just feeling suddenly tired and truly wanting to talk to Nicholas. I never imagined my mother harboured such ideas and it had almost shocked me, especially in witnessing her behaviour and listening to her words about Travis. It was very unsettling and what she had moved inside of me felt heavy, difficult to digest and left me uncomfortable.

"And are you and Tommy arguing about school?" I tried to ask again, pushing my own emotions away.

"It's normal to worry about your kids, River, and I want the best for both of you, even if I might seem a bit too pushy or meddling, because I know this is what you probably thought of me now, but remember that I just want the best for both of you," she explained in all honesty and the smile on her face was not calculated or crafted. Her words were sincere, and I felt it. "I just wish he would apply more to his studies and concentrate a bit more, because he seems so distracted recently and his grades really dropped, which might be a problem, considered his wish to go to college." I understood her point of view, since college could be very expensive and, even if we were doing fine, it was also true we could not just throw out money carelessly. "You will receive a scholarship without any issue, with your perfect grades and your performance as ice-hockey player." I nodded only.

"I will try to talk to Tommy, most for his own good, because I don't want him to be like Tol...Anatoly," I found myself confessing to her and she sighed out.

"You were really attached to him and, well, we all were, since his family is extremely nice and Dima sure is a good kid." She leaned back on the couch and her eyes for a moment were fixed on the TV, but it was obvious her mind didn't register anything going on the screen. "Tommy will not turn out like that and I have no idea how Natasha can cope with such situation, a son having joined a gang and behaving in a rather unqualifiable manner, I wonder if they really tried hard enough with him or..." I halted her.

"They have, believe me, I can see it whenever I go there, whenever Dima tells us about his fights with his brother and mom, I see it on her face." I silently exhaled, because touching this topic was never easy for me and I tended to clam up, even when I was the one bringing it out. Touching this painful subject was possible only with Sasha, but he wasn't very inclined to discuss about it often, because he was very angry, disappointed, and sad. I wasn't the only one who was very attached to Anatoly...all of us were, and the idea of losing Tommy in the same way threw me in a terrible sense of fear and anxiety. I had to find a way to communicate with him.

"Don't worry, mom, he will come around eventually and I'm sure it's just some phase," I told her without actually believing my own words; but I didn't want her to pressure him even more and I had to understand if something happened, if she had said something that switched this behaviour in my brother. I got up and went to hug her, leaving a light kiss on her forehead. "I will go to watch something in my bedroom or read, and you enjoy the show." I looked around the room. "Where is dad?"

"Dealing with some emails and papers, I asked if he needed any help, but said no. I will go check on him soon," she softly smiled, as I knew she loved to take care of all of us.

"Alright, good night for later then," I said, going to leave, but she stopped me as she called.

"River?" I turned my head to look at her. "Alex truly is a wonderful guy, just remember this and trust your mother when she says she wants the best for you, and he has everything you need." My hand tightened around the door handle and I fought over my emotions, wanting to show an unfazed, neutral face.

"Mom, I will say one more time and this I hope will be the last," I spoke with firm tone of voice, my eyes directly holding hers. "Sasha is my best friend, my dearest friend in a way, but nothing more and believe me when I say that we would not perfectly match together."

I had wished for long time to find someone like him or perhaps, to have him discovering feelings for me, but with time I realized it was pointless and wrong, as we would not complete each other in the way Travis and him completed one another. Yes, I looked at him as the ideal man under many aspects, for he truly was wonderful and undeniably reliable, loyal, very intelligent, trustworthy, handsome, a friend who would stand beside you unwavering and solid as a rock, taking your side no matter what, but what if Nicholas actually exceeded all of it? He had already surprised me very much and I had to admit that I couldn't wait to hear his soothing voice, his charming and warm chuckles, the soft yet sensual note whenever he pronounced my name.

"If you say so," she only commented, and I nodded before replying.

"I do say so and please, don't bring it up again, especially in front of him. He is in love with Travis. The last thing I want is creating misunderstanding which would only make things awkward."

I hope with this I had been clear and so, after another soft and apparently calm smile, I left for my room, dropping on my bed feeling suddenly drained by the entire evening. However, after taking a long and calming breath, I went to knock at my brother's door, wanting to ask about the girl from the other week, and the reply arrived punctual as expected.

"What?" He asked curtly as he opened the door, leaving me outside. "What do you want? Lecture me for how dinner went? For having talked bad to Aleksandr? Well, I don't care, and this is none of his business."

"I wanted to ask you about the girl who was with you the other day," I went straight to the point and he stiffened, going to close his door at my face, but I stopped it by placing a hand on it. "Tommy, is she someone from your school? She looks a bit older than you and..."

"Mind your own business, do you understand me?" He asked in a quiet hiss, as if afraid our parents would overhear us, but I was also being discreet while talking.

"I'm your brother and she didn't exactly strike me like your usual type and just be careful about new friends, please?" I was speaking with a very calm and soothing tone, trying to convey my real worries, but the message didn't reach him, because he kept glaring at me with such burning hostility that I had no idea what to say or do. "Tommy, what happened? Why are you so much set against me? I really don't understand and it's not really this the problem, but just your overall attitude...please tell me if you have problems or if anything happened in school."

"I told you already that I'm not a kid and I don't need you to worry about me. Don't say a word to mom and dad about that girl, got it?" Cold slithered in my body and I didn't know what to do or say. I had guessed it correctly; they knew nothing about her, and I was put in a very difficult position. However I behaved, I would wrong one part, so I had to wisely choose my course of actions, for the last thing I needed was to antagonize Tommy even more. It would have chased him away much more than now and that would have represented a big problem. "Do you hear me?" He demanded half angry and half scared, and I sighed out, tired.

"Tommy, why are you hiding it?"

"I'll tell them when I feel like it, okay? None of your business and I can see whoever I want, just like you, going out with guys."

"What's with you?" I asked quite piqued this time. "You never minded this and our parents also never minded it, so what's with you now? Did something happen in school?"

"Nothing happened, but it's just wrong and gross, two guys kissing and such." I silently swallowed down, for a moment another face appearing in front of me.

"Tommy..."

"Stop calling me in that way," he groaned out and then, slammed the door shut and I let him, since I could see that talking wasn't the solution. I felt at a loss, completely lost on what to do, having no ideas and that was a terrible feeling, something I hated deeply.

I went back to my room and once more dropped on my bed, staying there just staring at the ceiling and re-playing in the entire evening in my mind, until I checked the phone and wondered if Nicholas would be free; my fingers quickly composed a message: "Hi Nic, would you have time to talk? I'd really like to hear your voice and opinion."

This was probably one of the most straightforward and open messages I have ever written to anyone else aside my dearest friends. I had never asked for help to any of my ex boyfriends, always keeping some due distance and mostly relying on Sasha or Derek, which anyway wasn't often. I never liked bothering people over my fears or doubts or problems; aside an innate stubborn pride that pushed me in trying to solve matters on my own, I simply didn't feel comfortable in admitting weaknesses, in completely opening my heart. It scared me, it made me feel very vulnerable. I was aware it could create problems in a relationship, but it wasn't something easy to overcome.

His reply arrived faster than I expected, and I stared at the phone a moment in honest surprise and wonder, because he truly kept striking me.

"River?"

"Nicholas, sorry, am I maybe disturbing you?" I asked with a masked touch of anxiety, as I acted out of impulse, but he maybe was tired after a long week at work and he just needed to rest.

"Of course not, you never disturb me. Are you okay?" The warmth and frankness of his voice left me unsure for a moment, because he understood at once something was off, by a simple message. Was I ready to talk to him about what happened? Was I now ready to ask for help about such delicate and rather private matter? Sasha and Derek mostly heard about this, Dima and Hayden also knowing something but not too much. Would Nic mind listening to me? "You can tell me anything you feel like, I am here listening to you." I paused, as he had understood me at once, feeling my hesitation, my fear of disturbing and he gave me his answer.

"It is about my brother," I finally said, but not too sure, and he gave me time to process everything. "My younger brother, Tommy," I specified with more certainty, feeling ready to discuss it with him, as I really wanted to hear his opinion or simply, talk with him.

"I am here listening to you, River." His words, simple and so direct and clearly sincere, left me almost speechless, feeling my lips tilting up. I could see he was similar to Jasper, as I understood he as well was very sensitive and kind, a person with the rare gift of easily putting other people in good mood. But there was more into Nicholas. He understood people very well and he seemed to never force their nature.

"Thank you, Nic," I said, smiling unconsciously, going to lean my back against the bed's headrest.

"Did you perhaps fight with your younger brother?" He patiently asked.

"Yes, we sort of fought, but the real matter is that this is going on for many months already and I am not sure why it happened, what changed in him and why he is so hostile against me, telling me that he hates me and..." I halted, having spoken quickly and letting the words rush out of me instinctively, fearing for a moment I had said too much, considered Nicholas and I had met just last month.

"I'm sorry to hear this, because I can tell it's affecting you more than you probably want to admit or let it out, am I right?" I couldn't reply immediately. How was he able to understand me this much? It was almost scary...because, what if he would realize he didn't like me as much as he thought now? What if...I had to stop with all of this and answer him, sincerely.

"Yes, you are right, Nic, it's really not easy because we used to be very attached, just like..."

"Like Jasper and me?" He offered and I chuckled.

"Yes, I have the impression you two are very close and attached as brothers, and it's clear by the way he speaks about you, the enthusiasm he had when he showed us your picture, talking about you." He laughed softly, happy to hear that, even if he sure wasn't surprised.

"Jasper and I are indeed very close, he's an amazing brother and I wish we could see each other more often, but we chat or talk over the phone almost every day."

"This is wonderful, like Tommy and I used to be," I admitted.

"What happened then? When did he start to change?"

"I am not sure to be honest, it was many months ago, starting to say he hates me and that he can never be as perfect as I am, especially when it comes to school because his grades sometimes suffer a bit, especially in some subjects, but I thought it wasn't a problem and we used to study together, him asking me whenever he was not sure and now...nothing," I said with a deep sigh, once more replying the many fights we had, the hateful expression in his eyes, the words he yelled at me, and my stomach closed up, just like my throat, because I felt lost, unable to comprehend what did I do wrong. "What did I do wrong, Nic?" I found myself voicing out without even realizing it. "I am not even sure; I don't know, and I don't understand it."

"Nothing, River, I'm sure you did nothing, and may I ask you how old is he? Is he in high school like you?"

"Yes, he is fifteen years old," I replied, and he hummed his reply, remaining silent for a few seconds, thinking about what I explained him. "I think he is seeing a girl who looks older than him and I doubt he said anything to our parents."

"I see," he commented, again remaining quiet for a short moment. "River, did you say he called you perfect and somehow declared he will never be like this?"

"Yes," I murmured and he softly chuckled.

"May I ask you how is your relationship with your parents? What about your brother? It seems to me that perhaps he heard or was told something that made him see you as an unfair comparison, as a point he should reach but cannot, because you two are obviously different persons, just like Jasper and myself." I listened to him intently, his sensibility and intelligence leaving me overwhelmed. He must have been an incredible manager and no doubts people loved him as leader. "Sometimes, even without actually realizing it, parents tend to compare kids, especially if there is a difference in age and personality or skills, making appear one as a rival, which is very bad because it creates a strong and sometimes difficult to overcome misunderstanding."

"Did it ever happen to you?" He spoke as if out of experience.

"Yes, my parents are extremely strict and quite the case of very stuck-up snobs, if you will pardon me the way of describing them, considered they anyway always supported me, but nonetheless our mother pressured Jasper and well, she actually still does so, which explains why he is also so very shy and insecure, something I am sure a person like you hasn't failed noticing." He chuckled and I smiled. Talking with Nicholas was like talking to my friends, in a way it felt natural and genuine, words normally flown out and I was sure he would keep it for himself, but it was different on the other hand, intimate almost, and it gave me the almost unique chance to open up myself, more than I ever did.

"Yes, I guessed his insecurity and sort of ticks, like repeating some words, were a product of a very strict education and you confirmed it, and Travis probably knows it even better."

"In short time they became close friends, Jasper adores him, and I could see it was mutual, which made me extremely happy."

Nic truly loved his brother.

"But getting back to what we were discussing, our mother in particular pressured him in many ways, telling him to resemble me in more things, to be more ambitious and such, failing to see the great and incredible qualities my brother has, the fact he actually had been honest about his sexuality from the beginning, differently than me." He paused a moment. "I told them last month, when we had a fight and they exasperated me for the way they treated him and I saw red basically, shouting in their faces I was gay," he openly admitted, surprising me to learn so much more about him, and then he laughed, genuinely amused. "River, you should have seen their faces, our mother in particular...I think she almost collapsed and then blamed Jasper, to which I threatened them to take him away to Los Angeles with me, and I think that made the trick with our father. I never thought he would react like that, but perhaps he loves Jasper, in his own detached way, and doesn't know how to convey it."

Another pause and I could almost picture his handsome face smiling in that warm and sensual way of his, his dark eyes gleaming of a playful yet good-hearted light. I still couldn't understand how that man cheated on Nic...why doing something like that?

"River?"

"Yes?"

"Forgive me, I'm digressing from the main topic, but it was mostly to show you how parents sometimes commit mistakes without realizing, believing to be in the right, just like our mother, so have you ever witness any similar behaviour?" Have I? I nodded to myself, recalling what happened one Saturday and then during dinner.

"Yes, I have and Nic, don't say sorry, I liked learning more from you and can I ask you something?"

"Anything you want," he replied at once and I shook my head at his frankness. It was disarming and incredible.

"Have you ever fought with Jasper or found yourself in a similar position? Has he ever blamed you for what your parents, your mother, told him?"

"No," he answered without any hesitation and I felt a pang at hearing that, because it was obvious Jasper was so attached to his brother, that he trusted him so much that there was no room for doubles or for any word to mine their beautiful and strong bond. "My little brother knows how things are and how I see our parents, the numerous arguments we had and such, and we always stood together, but River, people are different and words can be perceived in many ways, creating invisible barriers or even rivalry without realizing it. Your brother is at a delicate age and maybe he has friends in school not advising him well, and you told me he is probably seeing someone older?"

"Yes, I saw them together the other week I think."

"This can also influence people's minds and ideas and you told me you witnessed something from your parents, what was it if I may ask?"

"My mom mostly, tonight she spoke about his grades, also in front of Sasha who was here for dinner," I spoke spontaneously, for then halting, afraid Nic might mind hearing that my best friend stayed over for dinner.

"River, are you still there?"

"Yes, sorry, I..."

"Were you concerned I might mind the fact Aleksandr was there for dinner?" How did he always manage to understand things so well? "Why should I?" He did not need to hear my reply, for it was obvious. "He is your best friend and I could see you are both very close, which is something wonderful, believe me."

"Thank you," I murmured, looking outside the window into the night.

"Did you have someone in the past jealous of your friendship?" He asked, surprising me, and I could not immediately speak. Yes...he had been very jealous of Sasha and they never liked each other, and that day, the day he left me with such words, after having discovered what he had done, with such attitude, well...that day they argued until he provoked Sasha too much, until he said too many things to me, and my friends' temper switched on.

"I was with someone who never liked Sasha and yes, as you asked, was very jealous of him."

"I see...but please don't think over this with me, alright? Aside the obvious fact I do trust you, River, I can see there is friendship only between you two." He trusted me, as he had already told me, but hearing it again struck the breath in my throat.

"I also trust you, Nic," I answered in complete sincerity.

"I think I understood that by the fact you are telling me such delicate matter regarding your brother and it makes me very happy, because you can rely on me, if you wish it."

"But aren't you tired after a long day, in fact, a long week of work?" His spontaneous and charming laughter caressed my ears and had my heart leap faster for a moment. Oh, such a beautiful, warm and captivating sound.

"I am very tired, I must be honest with you and tomorrow I will have to work for a few hours to make sure we will present part of the project my team and I are working at on time, but right now, listening to you, talking with you, being with you over the phone, well, made me completely forget about the long week and dissipated my tiredness." Again, my heart leaped faster inside of my chest and my lips smiled more than I ever thought possible. He was honest, entirely honest and he was so capable and focused...wanting to work also during the weekend to deliver results. "Talk to me, River, I really love the sound of your voice and I miss you."

"When are you coming to New York?"

"Soon enough, a few days before Christmas," he said and I automatically casted my eyes to the calendar on my desk, seeing that indeed just a few days separated us.

"I want to see you," I confessed, "I really want to see you."

"Will you spend a night with me?"

"Yes," I answered at once, for then pausing trying to consider how we could do it. "But how? Because I think we will still keep it for ourselves, right?"

"I think it's what we both want now and don't worry; I actually have an apartment in New York." His family was extremely wealthy, very rich I should have described them, even though neither Nic nor Jasper made it obvious or showed it off. Another quality I very much appreciated. "If I'm in New York for longer time, I do spend some time there and our parents bought it as investment, having bought one as well for my brother, but I doubt he will ever use it." He paused a moment and a sensual chuckle left his mouth, making my blood rush faster in my veins. "River, I will have my way with you for the entire night, because last time we met, in fact the first night we ever met and spent together, wasn't remotely enough and left me desiring you more and more."

Oh, I loved to hear that, knowing he was thinking of me constantly, wanting me, and my breathing deepened, my heart accelerated, my lips curving in a playful smile...he was turning me on with his confidence and direct words.

"I can't wait for that," I said with a mischievous note of flirtation, caressing his ears with soft voice. "I can't wait to be in your hands for an entire night, and maybe more." Because I would let him take me for the entire night if he so desired, as he has been an incredible and very exciting lover, with a touch to controlled wildness that left me as well wanting him like I never wanted anyone else.

"Ah River, if you say like this, you do make me curse the fact right now I am in Los Angeles and not in New York with you or vice versa...I would love to be with you right now, because we would talk calmly on the couch or on the beach after having had dinner and then, we would either continue on the couch or go to bed."

"Both would be fine," I said, continuing to play and flirt and he chuckled again in that sensual way, firing my blood and desire.

"I would bring you breakfast in bed in the morning, would you like that?"

"I never had it, to be honest, but I'd definitely like it with you and I'm sure we would then get distracted by each other," I suggested, because without doubt sex in the morning with Nicholas was going to be unforgettable.

"I hope your parents will not mind you staying away for an entire day, because I will definitely need to spend a lot of time with you once I will be in New York, if that will be reasonable and okay with you," he said and I appreciated the fact he never seemed to give anything for granted, asking for what I thought, if what he had in mind was fine with me and as well my family. So much consideration...when he mentioned breakfast in bed I felt terribly spoilt in the best sense and I truly couldn't wait for that.

That man, Aaron, had been a fool and I had an unpleasant feeling he was not going to let go easily, because the more I knew about Nic the more I saw what a wonderful, generous, caring, warm, intelligent and understanding person he was. His intelligence and sensibility in particular fascinated me beyond words...his awareness for the people around him, his empathy and thoughtfulness. If that man had certain issues – and he sure did, considered the horrible and dangerous behaviour of last week – and had had the fortune to be in a relationship with him, how could he let go that easily? I was worried, but kept it for myself.

"Absolutely fine, Nicholas," I reassured and said sensually, wanting to also charm him and make him think of me even more, "and I can't wait to wake up beside you." I thought about something. "Will Jasper come to pick you up at the airport?"

"Most likely as it is a sort of ritual, if you do not mind it, but it depends on the time of the flight since I still have to reserve it. Once done, I'll let you know."

"Thank you and I definitely don't mind it, actually, I like seeing how you two are so attached."

"River?"

"Hmm? Yes, Nic?" I sort of purred and I heard him inhaling sharply and loudly, my lips tilting up satisfied in hearing how just my voice affected him.

"I really like the sound of your voice and when you want to seduce me with that, because you definitely know what you are doing and you do succeed very well in it," he admitted with a playful note, rendering me very much happy, but then he paused a moment and his following words took me aback. "I am really glad my brother asked me to join you all that night," he said with smiling and direct voice and I could not reply immediately for a few seconds, until I found the way our for the words stuck in my throat.

"So am I."

"Listen, maybe speak to your mother and see if something happened with your brother, because it seems to me he maybe overheard or misunderstood somewhat, perhaps some words she said without giving much thought, which then blew out of proportion in his mind." I never thought of that, because I couldn't imagine what he overheard or what she told him, but Nic had a point, especially after having witnessed her behaviour tonight, what she said about Sasha and Travis. It made me discover a side of her I never knew she possessed. "When we hear certain words in the wrong moment and context, they can hurt or affect us all much worse than anyone can expect. What did she exactly say about his grades?"

"It also happened another time, pressing him for his tests' results, which in truth are really falling recently and well, if he wants to go to college, he must keep them up." No need to say more than this, but his following words made me see he got what I meant.

"I understand very well," he kindly commented. "But I don't think the problem is with that or the grades per se."

"What do you mean?"

"He called you perfect and you told me he is hostile toward you, no longer asking for your help, feeling as if he must be like you even though he doesn't want it, correct?"

"Yes?" I breathed out, somehow following his thread of reasoning and beginning to see more what he meant, worrying about the possible outcome.

"It seems like the problem is that he was either pressured or told to be like you, because I know you have excellent grades, you are one of the best players in your team and overall I can tell you have many qualities." I swallowed down at how he made me feel. I had always been complimented for my looks, for my smiles, for the way I speak with people and turn them around my fingers, also for being smart, but never for what he just said. But then I focused on the main issue, seeing Nicholas was right. Tommy often repeated I was perfect, that he couldn't be like me and refused my help. Was it only because mom asked him for the grades? No, the reaction seemed out of proportion. "Is there something else aside school he throws back at you?"

"He seems to mind my being gay, something he had never minded before, never Nic...he liked my friends, followed us to watch our training, he liked Sasha very much and now also hates him, having implied things that really left me shocked." I didn't feel ashamed or worried to explain what happened before, because Nic understood on a way deeper level than most would.

"He minds your being gay and let me guess, did he accuse you and Aleksandr of dating or something of the sort?" He chuckled at that. "Did he say something to your brother about his behaviour?"

"How did you guess?"

"You two are very close as friends and from what Jasper told me about Aleksandr, by the way he behaved around Travis and such, it's only natural to assume he took your side and tried to talk some sense into your younger brother, also, Jas told me he has a bit of a peculiar temper, cold as ice apparently, but easily to get annoyed by some things or people."

"Yes, Sasha has a bit of anger management issues," I told him, knowing he would keep it for himself only.

"I see, so no wonder your brother reacted like that, somehow minding everyone taking your defence and liking you, in a way or another."

"You think my brother is jealous of me? But why? I really don't think so and I am afraid he will meet wrong friends and about this girl..."

"Just try to keep an eye on him discreetly and I don't think he is jealous of you; I think something made him sort of resent you." His words froze me, and he must have sensed my utter silence and stillness. "River? Forgive me, I should have not being so direct and say such things, I don't mean to say you did something wrong nor I believe you are at fault, because I can really feel sincere worry in you. It just seems there is some deeper issues in him, but I might be wrong, I never met him." I suddenly wished Nicholas had the chance to meet Tommy.

"No, you are not wrong," I murmured, closing my eyes and resting my head on my knees, feeling suddenly very, very tired. "I haven't told you everything because it would take time, but you are right...his hostility toward me is serious and very strong and I also think it's not just related to mom asking him about his grades and asking him to be a good student, because he knows he has to. Our parents want us to have the best instruction possible." I breathed a few times deeply and then sighed out. "I don't want to lose him," I voiced out, mostly talking to myself.

"I know and I am sure you will find a way to solve this, because you two are brothers."

"I already lost a friend," I said without realizing and I suddenly opened my eyes, guilt overwhelming me as I realized what my words could imply, aware Anatoly had beaten up Jasper, Nicholas's younger brother. "I'm sorry, Nic, I didn't mean to say anything to excuse him or defend him."

"River, I know, and I understand it, believe me," he reassured me. "It only shows more of your kind side."

"I would like to see you now," I admitted, looking at my hand and wishing to have his tightly holding mine or, even more, having his arms around me. Why did he make me feel so calm and comforted? We had just met and yet Nicholas held a frightening effect on me.

"Same and soon we will talk in person and I will see to make you feel better or at least, less tired than you sound now." How could a person be so attentive when he also had so much to deal with? Was I being a good brother in the same way Nicholas was for Jasper?

"I will want to hear more about you, about your work and projects, and...about your ex, if you will not mind it." Knowing danger and threat was a wise way to keep it at bay and be ready to react if the situation called for it. I had to know this man, the potential problems he could stir and bring forth. He had showed a very unstable side and he had hit Nicholas, while under the effect of alcohol, because I understood what he had meant by saying he fell back in an old habit. This man scared me, but for now, I decided to keep it for myself.

"I will tell you anything you wish to hear, even though I hope Aaron won't create more issues in the following days."

"Where is he now?" I asked almost afraid to hear the reply.

"Staying with some friends, because I sure do not wish to have him around and well, I'm looking for a new place and if I will find what I like, I might rent this apartment." I breathed out silently in pure relieve. That dangerous man was not around Nicholas, trying to win him back, tormenting him and behaving in such low and rather disturbing way; but how long would that last? He was bound to come back at one point, and I wasn't so sure he would leave Nic without doing anything. "Don't worry River, I will let you know when he will show his face around, even if he got my message clearly last time and soon, he will be out of my life for good."

"I am worried about you, after what he did last time," I confessed. "Sorry if I'm stepping into a rather personal and private matter."

"Don't say that, we are seeing each other, aren't we? Therefore, you have every right to know things about me and you can say or ask whatever you feel like." His words got me more than I was ready to admit.

"Thank you, Nic," I only was able to say, with calmer voice, because his honesty was like a balm for my heart and soul. "And thank you for having listened to me and for having shared your thoughts, I will definitely speak with our mother and see if something happened." After tonight's dinner, I was beginning to fear Nicholas might have been right and what could have happened? I had not the slightest idea, for our parents truly loved us both very much. I checked the time on the phone and widened my eyes seeing the late hour. "I think I should let you go rest, what will you do?"

"I will shower and then maybe read something in bed or don't know."

"I wouldn't mind joining you, but why now?" He chuckled at my words, affecting me.

"Hmm, showering with you would be very nice indeed and we can definitely go for it once I'll be in New York," he flirted back and I had to be honest: the idea excited me very much, picturing his tanned and sculptured body under the water, his hands on me, mine on him, us kissing completely lost in the shower. Ah, I really could not wait for that. "To reply to your question, I came back from running on the beach and when I saw your message, I immediately called you." Again, how could he be so attentive?

"You should have called me later," I said, feeling almost guilty, but his soft and heart-warming laughter chased it away.

"Talking with you was far more important and I wanted to hear you, shower can wait." Such a gentleman and I could only try to imagine how many felt attracted to him, how many men and women admired him and wished to make him their partner.

"You sure know how to make me smile," I felt free to say and he seemed pleased by that, considered the softness in his voice. "Do you enjoy running on the beach?"

"Yes, it's nice, especially either early in the morning or late in the evening and tomorrow I will do some surfing with a colleague."

"I never tried that," I mused, picturing his athletic and very handsome figure on a board riding a wave, his dirty-blonde hair wet and a full, shining smile on his face, the golden shade of his skin enhanced even more by the touch of the sun.

"We can try together when you will visit me in Los Angeles," he answered. When and not if. I really liked that.

"If you will manage to be back at least a few days before Christmas, we will have a game right before the holidays and you'll see me playing," I proposed, desiring to show Nicholas how I played ice-hockey.

"Then I have an extra reason to book my flight already and make it for that day." I chuckled and then decided I really had to say goodbye, because it was late and he still had to shower and take time for himself, even though I had to admit that letting go was not easy. But I couldn't be too greedy; we were going to see each other in a bit more than two weeks and then, we were anyway going to exchange messages regularly.

"Nic, go to shower and enjoy some deserved rest, since you said you will have to work tomorrow and then, do enjoy the surfing," I told him, laying down on the bed with my back and smiling while staring at the ceiling, imagining how it was going to be to fall asleep beside him, waking up beside him, having sex for the entire night, being in his hands, having him in my hands. I had to take a long breath in the intent to calm myself down, because as I imagined that, I recalled the first night we spent together and it was like my entire body woke up. I had to let him go. "Thank you for listening to me and for your words, it did help me a lot, believe me."

"I'm glad if I could help you and River, call me or messages me whenever you want, alright? You never disturb me, and I really like talking with you and don't worry, things will be better, sooner or later. A solution often present itself when you least expect it or when you least hope for it."

"You are right," I concurred, for there was wisdom in his words. "Good night Nic, and I truly cannot wait to see you." I was really conceding a lot tonight, but his words, behaviour, attentions and honesty had slightly lowered my barriers and I wanted to let him know I was eagerly looking forward to seeing him, to spending time with him, to being in his hands. He had to know that and have no doubts.

"Good night, River, and let me know how it goes with your brother," he said with calm voice, hearing him moving around the house. "Be ready to be in my hands when I am back," he spoke with a different tone of voice and a shiver travelled my entire body, concentrating on my groin as he added more, with lower and very velvety voice, enthralling and clearly expressing the desire he felt for me, "because I look very much forward to take you for hours and kiss you even more, and then, speak with you in bed or over lunch or dinner. I want to know more about you and for sure I will be there for your game." My breathing stopped for a moment, for then taking a rather deep and heavy rhythm, his words having fuelled me. Oh...Nicholas was incredible in so many things. "Good night and keep in touch."

"Good night, Nicholas," I said, letting him hear openly how what he said affected me, letting him sense the desire in my voice.

I still could not believe he was Jasper's older brother, even though they had similar traits and then, I wondered how we would tell others about this, how we would take this relationship. But I let go of all my thoughts and hidden fears, simply relishing in our chat, in the sound of his voice, in the way he had managed to really reassure me, opening my eyes at the same time. I had to confront mom, in a smart and effective way, without revealing too much, and then, I had to find a way to make Tommy listen to me.

Hmm, I really could not wait to see Nicholas and spend more time in his company.

Before going to sleep, I decided to send a message to Sasha, simply to let him know his idea had been right, because seeing how he had quickly accepted Nicholas surprised me and pleased me very much, meaning quite the great deal. His reply arrived almost instantly, making me smile genuinely; he would always be my dearest and best friend, the only one truly understanding me, because the other one, Anatoly, well, was unfortunately lost and the mere thought gripped at my throat painfully, almost choking the breath out of me. I shook my head and read Sasha's message once more:

"I'm happy you spoke with him and that he was able to help in this. He seems good for you. If you need anything, just tell me, because you know I'm always here."

Yes, Sasha would always be there, and I wondered if the same could also be possible with Nic.

NICHOLAS POV:

Water washed over my body and my head tilted back, letting the shower spray my face, while my mind played the conversation I had with River over and over, imagining him standing there with me in that precise moment, his hands on me and my mouth stealing kisses from his sensual and very skilled lips. Looking forward to seeing him and being with him did not remotely cover how I truly felt, because these days separating us would never pass fast enough. Tonight, he had surprised me very much, and I was glad he decided to rely on me for such delicate matter and without doubts, we could discuss it more once in New York together.

River sounded worried and the way he asked what he could do had left me concerned about him, hoping things weren't going to turn out more problematic than I thought. I knew nothing of his parents and, from what I could gather listening to him and then to my brother, they seemed normal and nothing too extreme like ours, but I had a feeling there was something else he wasn't sharing yet about his mother.

When I mentioned that she might have said something inadvertently to his brother, he had fallen silent. I wonder why that was and then, I remembered he spoke about the dinner, and I guess she probably made some comments in front of Aleksandr. River was tense when he told his friend had been over during the evening, almost feeling guilty and that was what made me think she probably said something. He never mentioned his father, which meant he probably wasn't the source of such tension and, maybe even the mother wasn't, and the cause lay somewhere else. Hard to say for now. I wished to help him, and I was going to, if he let me of course.

I was glad he had such good and reliable friend at his side, considered the situation he was living, because frictions inside the family were never easy to deal with, no matter what the root or source of said problems. By looking at him, apparently so cold and detached, nobody could guess Aleksandr had anger management issues, but then again, you really never knew about people and I had a feeling his boyfriend, Travis, helped him in that. I could imagine the way he spoke to River's younger brother, picturing the intimidation he instilled in the boy; it showed how much he cared for his friend and it matched with what Jasper told me already. Yes, River had good friends and made me feel good, for it also meant that my brother had good friends.

Now, I was really curious to watch him playing ice-hockey, for I heard over and over how talented they were, my little brother often speaking about Dmitri, and so, more material for my curiosity, more occasions to see how that blonde and rather funny guy interacted with Jasper; he didn't need to spell it out to me, as I think he truly had a big crush for Dmitri and I wondered whether he would also follow a course similar to Aleksandr. Hard to tell and only due time was going to show.

I stepped outside the shower, quickly drying my body and then my hair with the towel, walking around the apartment wearing only a loose pair of sweatpants, enjoying the quietness of the place and the absence of Aaron.

I took a beer from the fridge and sat on the couch with the laptop and something to eat, quickly scrolling through the emails and already making some notes for the following day. I always believed in the saying "a good start is half the battle" and that explained why at this late hour I stayed up working on the project and presentation for the coming week; I could not ask more from my team, since they all were already loaded and pressuring them would have sorted out nothing, rendering them only more stressed and less willing to work, crushing their enthusiasm; I never believed in such techniques, even if they were often used by other colleagues.

When I was almost done, I received two messages: one from Natalie, asking if I would mind her joining Jason and me to surfing; I never pictured her as a surfer but probably it had nothing to do with that and most likely it was related to Jason. The affinity between the two had grown in the past days, seeing they worked well together, almost in tune, but it appeared she still was unsure and I had a feeling she wanted to talk with me. We had lunch twice together just the two of us and it was obvious she was at ease with me more and more, no longer covering her beautiful figure while in front of me, and I had an idea she must have gone through some bad experiences. I replied to her message that I would be happy to see her tomorrow and invited her out for dinner, unless she had plans, and her immediate answer made me smile. Indeed, she wanted to talk with me, and I was glad I inspired her trust.

The second message was from Aaron, because even if it came from another number and it was not signed, the tone of it was impossible to misunderstand: demanding in the worst possible way, arrogant and accusatory. He was saying he needed to collect some of his clothes, and I didn't bother to reply, but that caused him to call me, which I ignored by silencing my phone. Many other calls followed, along with ungracious messages, all promptly disregarded from my side. He was going to eventually grow tired of that and work absorbed me till a late hour, going to bed only when satisfied with the progress made.

The following morning, I woke up earlier than I normally would on a Saturday, the only day I conceded myself to stay in bed longer than usual, and, after a strong dark coffee and a good filling breakfast, I placed myself in front of the laptop and got most of the job done; it could be refined later during the evening, as first I had to think over it and thus, I went to prepare myself for surfing, a message from River rendering my morning brighter and more pleasant. The maturity and delicate attentiveness in him were beautiful.

"How are you? Did you sleep well? I am sure you have already worked on the project you mentioned and I'd like to know how the presentation will go; however, do take good care of your handsome self."

I stared at it for about a minute, smiling and loving what he had written, his concern and curiosity for my job, his subtle and elegant flirtation. Ah, I really couldn't wait to see him and spend a few days in his company, thought that made leave a mental note in consulting another real estate agency the coming week, because finding a new place was becoming more imperative. There was much I wanted to share with him and show him about Los Angeles, but it could not be done until I moved in a new apartment or house, putting the due and definite distance between Aaron and myself. Also, he had to find another place, for my patience stretched too far and being too understanding felt wrong toward River.

It was going to be another challenging argument, but it couldn't be avoided and, in my opinion, facing challenging and rather difficult situations upfront and as first thing rendered everything else easier, for you would soon leave the hardest part behind.

I placed the board on the car roof, carefully strapping it on the rack and then, Jason quickly called asking whether I was going to be there soon or not, since he had arrived earlier and said the water was amazing, not many other surfers being around; I smiled as I heard his excited voice, the sound of the Ocean in the back and I remembered what Natalie told me.

"Natalie will also join us shortly, I hope you don't mind it," I said while sitting in the car.

"No, no, I definitely don't mind it," he promptly replied, and I chuckled. "What?"

"You seem to get well along with her," I solely commented.

"Yes, she is really smart and quick at getting great ideas or solutions, very practical also and I must say funny, and well, of course she's very good looking, but we both know this, thanks to Elliot never shutting up about that." I laughed at his last words, because he had a point. "But does she surf? I never thought so."

"I don't think so, I think she maybe just enjoys our company," I delicately said and that seemed to please him.

"Ah that's good and in case, we can definitely teach her, right?" I had no time to reply as he spoke to someone there and then, I smiled listening to his following words. "She is here, Nic, so I'll let you drive and see you in a bit, the waves are waiting for you."

"See you shortly," I replied and with that, the conversation ended as I heard them both talking quite enthusiastically.

I was glad she arrived there already, so they had a chance to interact together and alone outside the office.

"Natalie, can you please take a video of me surfing?" I asked her, handling my phone, and taking the board with me.

"Sure, do you want to send it to your brother? You speak a lot about him," she replied with a lovely and kind smile, her eyes trailing over the Ocean, unconsciously looking for Jason. We asked her if she wanted to join us in the water or at least see how to stand on the board, but she saved it for the next time, as indeed the waves today were quite strong and wild, not the ideal for a complete beginner.

"No, not for my brother," I said, and she made a rather cute expression with her face, for the giggling.

"It will stay between us, Nicholas, if you prefer so." She had already understood my way of thinking and being and that probably was why we had become friends in very short time. She also was very discreet.

"Just for now." I smiled at her and ran a hand over my wet hair, seeing Jason had fallen into the water after having taken a wave in the wrong way, the balance on the board not being as it should have been. Natalie gasped, having followed my eyes, but I shook my head at her not to worry, for he swam up and sat astride the board, paddling toward the shore, waiting for a better occasion.

"Is he from here?" I shook my head again and she reasoned over that, making a quick connection. "From New York, right?" I nodded and she smiled. "Now I see why you seem to really look forward to going home for Christmas; he must be a very great guy, hmm?"

"He is incredible and very much irresistible," I admitted openly, and her eyes widened at my frankness.

"Is your ex-boyfriend still giving you problems?" She knew what happened the other week, when Aaron arrived where I worked stirring quite the scene.

"He is being quiet now and staying with some friends, but I will have to see him soon and have a certain discussion, so we shall see." I definitely did not look forward to that, but it could not be avoided or postpone much more.

"It must be hard and well...people sometimes seem to really enjoy making others miserable, looking down at them," she commented, her eyes dropping to stare at the sand, an expression on her face that struck me.

"Will you join me later for some quick dinner? I know a nice and rather informal restaurant at the beach, where they won't mind clients coming there right after surfing."

"I'd like that, thanks," she replied, genuinely beaming, the freckles being enhanced by the sun kissing her skin, the red tint of her hair shining very bright.

"We can talk more then," I confirmed, and she nodded enthusiastically.

"Thanks, and now go, so I can take a video for your sure to be very handsome and intelligent mysterious guy," she joked, making me laugh.

"That he is both," I commented winking and with that, I went for the water, the waves really proving to be wilder today than usual, hard to ride but exciting at the same time, cold drops spraying my face, my body balancing on the board as I rode a rather difficult one, feeling the effort and slightly bending more on my knees, the water chasing me, one of my hands caressing it, my mind concentrated on that.

This was going something else to share with and show to River, for I had a feeling he was going to enjoy it and be skilled at it.

-ABOUT TWO WEEKS LATER, NEW YORK-

I sat beside Jasper, his friend Travis right at his other side together with Derek, his sister and Aleksandr's older brother, Ivan. They were all quite the group of jovial and funny people.

I had landed the day before, in the evening, and as usual my brother had picked me up at the airport, leaving then the car in my hands as we drove back home and talked about many things, having had the typical Lucas dinner made of small talks with our father, rather tiring manners and questions from our mother, and an atmosphere that describing it stiff and suffocating would render no justice. Mother still hadn't digested my being homosexual and the tension, the judgement was there in every little comment and observation, which I tuned out and decided to ignore on purpose. It was her issues and not mine; she had to learn to live with that and stop worrying about useless, no-existing problems.

As she went to veer her attention on Jasper, I eyed her sternly, as to tell her to back off and leave my sweet younger brother alone, since he was in a clear and obvious good mood and I wasn't going to let her spoil it; surprisingly, our father also appeared to agree on that, and after dinner, he told me not to worry and not to think about taking Jas back to Los Angeles with me. Was he slowly opening his eyes and realizing the lack of affection and of a real bond between us? I hoped so for Jasper, as for my part, I had lived almost thirty years without it, and I could still do it in the same way. Of course, it would have been nice to have a normal and far more welcoming dinner, a convivial and relaxing atmosphere, but unless either our mother changed or our father took a firm stance, that was not possible.

Jasper and I spent the evening then together watching something on the TV and talking more about his crush for Dmitri, as it was clear he really liked the guy and the Russian bear, as they called him, obviously enjoyed my brother's company, considered how long they did chat in the evening. After landing and spending the evening with my family, I didn't manage to see River, having for the following day.

So, as I sat beside my brother watching their game, I thought about the fact I had not seen River yet alone, for we just exchanged a quick glance and greeting earlier, when we arrived at school and met them before the match. We spoke last night over the phone and I planned on taking him out for dinner, but we still hadn't been alone and, the moment I saw him in front of me staring back with his irresistible blue eyes, I felt something gripping inside of me. I couldn't contain my smile and I could no longer wait to be alone with him.

He had also smiled at me in a very handsome yet sweet way, and it obvious he reciprocated my same eagerness in finally spending time together, just the two of us. As we quickly greeted them before they stepped in the locker room to change into their uniforms, River and I glanced at each other often and it was hard not to openly take his mouth for a kiss. I had really missed him, but our situation was still private, and we decided to think about it over the holidays, which seemed wise. However, realizing he also shared my same emotions the moment we saw each other made me extremely happy.

Now, I was sitting at the school's stadium and keeping my eyes on him as he skated fast over the ice, exchanging quick passes with Aleksandr and Dmitri, with his other teammates too, but it was true him and Aleksandr formed a great duo. River was very talented, quick, obviously smart and thinking of a strategy rather than playing instinctively, something Dmitri did. Their captain combined both sides and was indeed very powerful; but it was River who held my entire and undivided attention, my admiration and surprise in seeing him clash against players of the other team, in seeing him so determined and strong.

The strength in him was incredibly exciting and very much spellbinding, just like when he skated at considerable speed over the iced surface. He was irresistible also as ice hockey player and yes, he truly was skilled, obviously making use of his intelligence.

They all were very talented and indeed their team was strong, led by an extremely capable and charismatic captain, who obviously intimidated the adversary; but River...River was incredible. You wouldn't think he could play with such passion and power by just looking at him, but there he was, exchanging passes right then with Dmitri and after that with Aleksandr, fooling their opponents and thus, scoring one goal.

I was happy for him and we all cheered, Travis, Ivan and Derek being particularly lively and colourful as they jumped up on their seats and whistled, shouting even, while Diane, who I was told was Hayden's girlfriend, also was rather loud, but never like the others, and then Jasper, his eyes glued on Dmitri, utter fascination, attraction and admiration all over his face that was slightly flushed, his eyes wider than usual, his smile open and full of joy. Yes, my little brother really liked that guy. And finally, myself; I was following River, who after the goal quickly glanced in our direction, searching for me, our eyes meeting and the playful smile on his lips got me a second time, my blood stirring in my veins.

After having scored he had looked for me and I understood he had wanted to show me of what he was capable, of his passion for ice-hockey, of how he could again fascinate me. And he did.

Ah yes...he was irresistible, and I could not wait to be alone with him, just the two of us.

Author's chit-chat:

What are your feelings, ideas, thoughts, emotions, first reactions, possible questions and opinions about this new chapter?

I am sorry if you found the focus on River's brother issue quite long, and I actually hope you don't think so, but it was essential for many reasons: showing the relationship with his parents, showing more of the parents, seeing it from Alexi's POV and how he perceives his friend in such moment, then seeing River opening to Nicholas, Nic caring about it and giving his ideas, which I believe tells us a lot of his character and personality. After all, it's a matter that really affects our River.

I think we got to discover more of River's mother and her reasoning, what she wants for her sons. Do you think she will like Nicholas or not? Will she pose as an obstacle or will she support their relationship?

Do you think Nic is right in believing Tommy must have overheard something that he misunderstood and caused a big reaction? Who knows, right? For sure our Nicholas is very insightful and observing, perfect match for our fascinating River.

Then, we jump to the end when he is already in New York and watching their game: did you like this idea? I think the connection between them is rightly explained by the title of the chapter. Well, next update will develop this further and we shall also see what problems Natalie has.

Speaking of Natalie, do you like her character, even though she was introduced not much so far?

I think River in this chapter actually made some progress in terms of personality and character, and we shall see where this will lead and what more will happen. CH.6 sure will be very rich and having them spending time together. No worries, I will start to work on it in these days and try my best to deliver it as soon as possible.

In the meantime, know that I am working on CH.10 of "The Princess & The Jerk" and I shall hopefully post it either during the weekend or next week 😊 So, stay tuned with Witchy and her Cat!

I hope you all keep safe and healthy, being careful and mindful. I wish you all a wonderful day, full of love and magic!

Let me know what you think of this chapter with your comments, messages and votes, as you know I do really like and highly appreciate your feedback and comments; I am always extremely grateful, for every vote, every message and comment. I mean it, thank you, you are fantastic readers and I send you all a lot of Viola's magic fairy dust!

Lots of Love, Magic, Hugs & Meows,
-TheWitchAndTheCat-