Dear All,

Here comes a new chapter of "Beyond Those Irresistible Eyes" and I am sorry for posting it now when I said it would be out last week, but I just couldn't make it. It was missing something.

I really hope you will enjoy it and I think the title reflects the contents of this new update quite accurately, but you will tell me after reading 😊 Let me know what you think of it with your amazing comments, votes and messages and I will do my best to reply all of them (sorry if sometimes I don't do it immediately or takes long, but I read them all, believe me, and they make super happy^^)

Now, I won't say much about this chapter, aside that some of you had guessed part of the contents and that, the interaction with other people and friends here have a precise function, which I am sure you will get it.

I would like to dedicate this chapter to all of you as a thank you for always supporting me, no matter what, also for your kindness and honesty, and as well your fabulous love: you are fantastic readers, believe me! THANK YOU!

I selected a song that seemed to fit the overall chapter. Choosing songs isn't always easy and sometimes it requires more time than you can imagine, as I really try to pick the right one; however, if you have suggestions, feel free to drop them in the comments, I'd be happy to read them.

And now, enjoy it!

"There are so many fragile things, after all. People break so easily, and so do dreams and hearts," by Neil Gaiman in "Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders"

NICHOLAS POV – LOS ANGELES, WEEKS LATER:

I signed out massaging my neck, feeling the tiredness from last night fight with Aaron, when I repeated again and again that we were over and not to dare touching me once more, given he had tried to kiss me. It made me feel terrible because my thoughts went on River immediately, knowing I had to call him and somehow explain; technically we were not in any relationship, simply seeing each other and letting time guide us, but it was not the complete truth. I liked him more than I expected it could happen, and we heard from each other almost every day, be it with a message or a call.

In the past weeks, those were dear moments for me, and I longed for them, believing he felt the same, considered he was slowly telling me more about himself, being the one sometimes messaging me first or asking for a call. It took time, but I persisted, feeling River would soon be the one contacting me and, when it happened, it made me very happy, almost making me like a teenager at his first crush.

What happened last night made me feel bad and I had to tell him, to clear things out and avoid keeping useless secrets. River was aware of my current situation and I had already contacted an estate broker to evaluate my apartment, deciding whether selling or renting it with the new coming year. I told Aaron about my plan and hell broke loose, but what did he expect? That I would let him stay in my same place forever? I was aware of his delicate situation, especially with his family, and the fragile inner balance ready to snap, but I set a couple of months only, given he had an income and he had to start sorting out his own life by himself.

I had already given him so much in the past months I felt emotionally drained and exhausted, while meeting River chased those feelings and emotions away, giving me moments in which I could relax, freely talk about my job and just listen to him explaining about his days in school or at training. I would have loved to watch him playing, sure he was going to be incredible and very talented, for I could hear he was truly passioned about hockey.

No drama, no fighting, no selfishness, no feeling of walking on eggshells so not to break some extremely fragile walls and fictitious equilibrium. Just normal and warm talking, between two equal persons. I understood River had his own fears and barriers, possibly due to bad past experiences, and I grasped in the past he must have had deep feelings for Aleksandr, some maybe still lingering on an unconscious level, but River was extremely intelligent and way stronger he thought about himself. It was clear in a few things. As well, he was an honest person who would never hurt anyone else, no matter what. He had been worried to hurt Jasper's feelings and I got that even if he didn't declare it openly; however I was aware my little brother liked River very much.

If things played well between us as I hoped for, Jasper would only be happy for the situation and the idea of it made me smile.

Another sigh left my mouth and I imposed myself to get my concentration where it belonged, which was work and the current project; I completed a report and elaborated some other stats, when someone knocked at the door of my office, which was always left slightly open, so that my colleagues and employees would never feel like they couldn't reach me when in need.

"Yes?" I called and Jason stepped inside the room, giving me a concerned look that I didn't understand. "Something wrong with the current project?" I asked getting up from my chair, but he shook his head.

"No," he replied, thinking about what to say and I arched my brows. "There is a person waiting for you at the reception of the lobby and he made quite the ruckus claiming to be your partner and wanting to come over here to talk to you, but when Petra called me I told her not to admit him and let him wait." I widened my eyes surprised by his unknown sensible and perceptive side and then exhaled out loudly, feeling suddenly very tired and almost embarrassed for Aaron's behaviour. He would never learn. "Nicholas, I knew you were in a relationship with a guy called Aaron and I also know you ended it, for whatever reason you had, so I hope I took the right decision."

I chuckled out to mitigate my state of mind and because Jason had truly surprised me, seeing he had come to understand more than I thought.

"Thank you, Jason, you took the right decision and yes, I believe that would be Aaron, my ex-boyfriend and I apologize for his behaviour and the commotion he caused." He shook his head and smiled.

"Yeah well, it's not your fault Nicholas and my sister went through something similar with her ex-husband, so I can only try to understand how you must feel right now."

"I will go talk to him and thank you for handling it in the best possible way, I mean it." He nodded and then we went to leave the office together, but he halted me.

"Natalie, Elliot and I are going to try a new Chinese restaurant for lunch, would you like to join us?"

"You won't mind your boss there?" He laughed out openly and spontaneously.

"I think you already know the answer, right?" I chuckled and patted his shoulder.

"Thank you, just ping me when you guys are ready to go, I think I'll definitely need the break after this and after the meeting I'll have right before lunch." We walked down the corridor together and I realized how in the past two weeks working together every day brought me even closer to some of my employees, Jason and Natalie in particular starting to become something more like friends, also seeing how they were getting along very well.

"If the weather keeps it up like this, I'm going to surf on Sunday, do you want to join me?" I asked him, as he was another person who loved surfing and training in general, having heard he woke up earlier than due every morning so that he could go running before coming to the office.

"Sure thing; let me know when and where and I will definitely be there," he replied with a quick smile and I just nodded.

"Very well, if you will excuse me now, I have a situation to handle, I'll see you later."

I rushed to the elevator and prayed Aaron had not done anything more than he already did, daring such a scene right where I worked and creating an embarrassing moment for the receptionists and whoever was passing by in that moment, for himself and also, for myself. I shook my head and quickly reached the reception, seeing he was sitting apparently quiet at the couch not far from there, looking clearly displeased and in bad mood. I halted a moment and observed him quickly: he had been drinking, something his therapist had pretty much forbade.

"Aaron," I immediately said as I stopped where he sat, him getting up and smiling in his usual way, the same smile he had in front of the camera whenever he posed as model. "Come with me," I spoke firmly and without giving him much time to reply, seeing he followed me silently without complaining. This was worrying me, and I was right in doing so, because the moment we left the building, his arms wrapped around my neck and his mouth searched for mine, but I pushed him away faster. "What are you doing?" I demanded with very hard and cold voice.

"I wanted to see you, Nicky baby, and we just fought last night and you said you want me out, but where can I go and what can I do without you?"

"You have a job, Aaron, you are a fashion model, and shouldn't you actually be on some shooting set right now?" It was what he had explained me last night, trying to render me jealous, which, aside the fact it wasn't in my nature, it was pointless with him. We were over and I had met River, a fact I kept for myself for obvious reasons.

"It was postponed," he said, once more trying to touch me, but I stopped him. "Nicky, please, just listen to me and..."

"What were you thinking about barging to where I work and create such a bad and very ungraceful scene? Have you even considered the problems it posed on the people working there? On the problems it could give me considered my position in the company?"

"You always speak only about your job, as if you'd be the only one with something important to do and as if nothing else or nobody else mattered." I sighed out and shook my head, not even understanding why I had to waste my time right now with him instead of being in my office attending to my tasks.

"Listen, if you have nothing to say, leave at once and never dare to repeat the same scene of today," I told him even more firmly than before and it was enough to finally shut him up and have him pay complete attention to me. "You must understand we are over; we broke up because of what you did and many other reasons we already went through in the past days and, most importantly, I will never get back with you. Have I made myself clear enough?"

He dropped silent and casted his eyes looking at the ground, the light blonde hair he had kept free and not styled cascading down and shadowing his face. I hoped he finally understood me, but then he stared back, trying his best card. He was crying and this time, differently from the past, it left me impassive. No, that was not true. It did not leave me impassive, because it slightly irritated me.

"Do not cry, Aaron, because you have no right to do so and you brought all of his upon yourself." I tried to check the sound of my voice and took a silent, deep breath. "What did you want to say for coming here like this?"

"I have an appointment with my therapist, and she thinks it would be good if you also took part, because we could discuss what happened between us and..."

"Did you start to drink again?" I asked drily and he averted his eyes at once, giving me the already known answer. "You should tell her that you started to drink again and, if you plan to come to the apartment drunk or after having used any sort of crap you did before we met, do not bother, because you will sleep somewhere else. Also, start to look for your own place soon, because I plan to either sell or rent this apartment."

"Nicky please, I just cannot afford it right now..." He grabbed my jacket and looked honestly desperate, but I had fallen for this too many times.

"I give you a couple of months and this is more than I can do, and mostly because I am aware of all your many issues, but do not abuse of my patience and kindness, Aaron. Am I understood?"

"You really want to sell our place? You cannot be serious because we have so many memories there." Memories? Yes, we did, and I wanted them all out of the way and out of my mind. Some had been very pleasant and nice, but in retrospective too many were troublesome, showing the ups and downs we had, the many efforts I had to do to make it work, his lack of consistency.

Some I would keep with me, but most would need to be left behind because they were only a further burden.

"It is my place and you think I want to keep living there after what happened? It would not surprise me if it had not been the only time," I commented bitterly and the way his eyes reacted said it all. Indeed, too much effort and for what? "You have time until the beginning of February or so, and after that, you are out, unless you want to pay me the rent for the apartment, because for sure I cannot think of living under the same roof any longer." His fingers tightened the grip around my jacket and probably only then he seemed to realize it was really over; at least, I hoped so. "Since you are at that, stay with your dear Adele for some other time."

He was the one now sleeping in the room I once considered our bedroom, while I used the other one meant for guests. I had never been able to set foot back into that, aside for retrieving my own belongings.

I planned to invite River to Los Angeles and, by the time he would come over here, I had to have my new place. No way I would ever invite him while still stuck in this apartment.

"Baby..."

"Do not call me baby, do you understand?" He nodded reluctantly.

"Will you join me in the session?"

"No, because Aaron you must understand we are no longer together, and I am already supporting you by letting you stay at my place long enough. If it were another person, you would be on a street now and I think you have not thought about this much."

"I know that you will never hurt me or not care about me, Nicholas," he said, letting go of my jacket and stepping back. "I know you are a kind and generous person, so please, just for now let me get back on my feet."

"Do not abuse of my patience, I am telling you," I warned him, making a mental note on the fact I had to really rush in getting the place on the market. The sooner the better. "Go see your therapist and be honest about the fact you touched alcohol again, and then, get serious about your job, because you need it and you also enjoy it, am I not right?" Of course, he did enjoy being a fashion model, having the attention on him and be admired and having many people fawning over him. River was aware of his being impossibly handsome and breath taking, obviously liking to hear it and seeing how his looks affected people, but he was genuine and simply aware of his beauty; while Aaron was egocentric and arrogant, expecting attention from everyone and giving none back. The exact opposite of River.

I shook myself, displeased by having made a comparison between them, since they stood on very different levels, pretty much impossible to be related.

"I must go back to work now, so do take care," I only said, and I went to leave, but he grabbed my arm.

"Can I at least prepare dinner for you tonight?"

"No, I will eat outside," I answered, and his face grew in that usual spoilt grimace he showed whenever something did not go according to his whims. I did not bother to stay and listen to his reply, since I left going back to the office; tonight I wanted to call River and no way it could be done while in the apartment with Aaron around and with such brewing mood. It was necessary to tell him what happened the other night and even today, because the last thing I wanted was to create misunderstanding or wrong impressions.

River was a complex and very guarded person, and I sure did not want to take the wrong step and have him closing to me. I had asked myself a few times what rendered him such a calculating and rather wary person, able to open up entirely only with his friend, Aleksandr, or maybe he was simply like that by nature, but no. Something in my guts had convinced me that, aside his obvious careful and very observing nature, not wanting to jump on things out of impulse, there must have been another reason behind everything. Maybe a person wronged him? It was a likely option, even though I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to wrong or betray a person like River, but then...all sort of people existed, and some were truly twisted and selfish.

I smiled and shook my head as I went back to the office, realizing River truly was absorbing most of my thoughts. Well, impossible to deny how irresistible he was and how much he lured me, wanting to discover and unravel everything about him, wondering if he also thought about me as often as I did.

I drove home after having quickly called River and it felt very good talking to him, hearing about his day and listening to what he had to say about my brother. We didn't manage to speak long because he was out with friends after training at the gym, but we promised to hear from each other later in the evening, since there was still what happened yesterday with Aaron to be discussed. Yet, I chuckled as I parked the car in the usual spot and went for the elevator, thinking about my brother and that guy called Dmitri. Who knew how it was going to play out?

As I opened the door of the apartment, I found it surprisingly quiet, pretty much silent; so, Aaron had followed my request and went to stay with a friend, and the idea truly made me feel better, knowing for tonight there was no need to use patience or stand one of his scenes. River and I could normally talk once I was done with dinner. I flicked the lights on in the corridor and walked to the living room, wanting to turn the light on and play some music, but as I stepped in the room, Aaron surprised me by sitting there in the darkness, completely silent, his eyes fixed on some spot. This was not a good sign.

"What are you doing here without lights?" I asked with even and calm voice, to test his mood, because the following moment my eyes noticed the glass and bottle of whatever he was drinking on the coffee table and I mentally cursed.

This was going to be another long evening and I really did not want to have to face another one, not after last night and today at work, not after having spoken to River over the phone.

"I was waiting for you, Nicky," he replied with very quiet voice and it didn't take much to understand the level of alcohol in his system was higher than it should have been, his eyes looking somehow absent yet too still. I sighed silently and checked the bottle, seeing it was half empty, but I was not sure whether Aaron had drunk more earlier or not, as I had no idea of what he had been drinking until now and whether he had used any drug or not. "You are late, and I had made dinner for you, where were you? What were you doing? Were you with someone?" Even his voice reflected the look of his eyes: absent, vacant in a way, yet too focused and clearly on the edge.

I checked the irritation his stream of questions somehow managed to stir in me, another habit of his he never lost. He had been the one cheating, but even with that he always showed a very possessive and controlling nature; well, he tried to control me, but he always failed, since I would never let him. But the incessant questions were always there, and I understood that, on some occasions, who was unable to trust or thought the worst, was because they had done it themselves. At least, that was the case with Aaron. He always assumed the worst because he had already done it.

"I told you not to prepare dinner for me because I would have eaten out and this is what I did, not that I owe you any explanation anyway," I said patiently and calmly enough, not wanting to fuel his bad mood more than that, especially after witnessing he had slipped to his old habit again. It had not happened for over a year and half, which at first gave me hope, but I knew what was about to come and the fact the blame would be thrown on me. "I had a very long day and I am tired and, Aaron, you should not be drinking, and you know it, so let's go. I will prepare you some coffee or something."

In truth, I was in no mood to take care of him, but there had been an episode in the past which right then made me consider it was better to calm him down as much as possible, rather than openly antagonize him. My patience had been already stretched far thin with him and if the same would occur, there was no guarantee I could hold back and not kick him out.

"You were seeing someone else, am I right? You must have met somebody in the past weeks, because you changed so much I almost don't recognize you," he spoke with louder voice, suddenly darting up on his feet and grabbing my arm with strength given by the alcohol. I kept calm and just directly stared back at him. "You have someone else, am I right? Where were you before? Whom did you see? Tell me! You're only mine and nobody else can have you! Tell, where were you? Tell me!"

"Aaron, stop with this right now, because aside the fact you are in no position to ask about my private life, I really do not feel like discussing anything of the sort." His eyes widened considerably, and I knew what was about to come.

He grabbed the glass and threw it on the floor, shattering it there, the liquid spreading around and staining the carpet. I knew we would arrive to this and I was just so tired it truly took all of my patience not to give in to my own disappointment and annoyance.

"Aaron, pull yourself together at once and clean up this mess," I ordered with now cold and hard voice, seeing he reacted to it by somehow freezing on the spot. He was not used to this side of me, but he was the only able to pull out such unpleasant behaviour and I never liked it. "I said I am tired and in no mood for your tantrum, so pull your crap together and see to behave, or tonight I might really consider kicking you out."

With that I left and walked to the bathroom to wash my hands and wear something more comfortable, wanting then to prepare something for myself, as in truth I hadn't had dinner yet and the day truly had been exhausting, the call with River having though been like a ray of light.

However, as soon as I went to the kitchen, Aaron was there and the look in his eyes could only mean trouble. Silently I exhaled and called for all my patience and composure. Arguing with him was pointless, not to mention he was under the effect of alcohol; the best was trying to veer out from this situation and keep as much calm and levelled as possible, still making him understand what was his place.

"What is it?" I had to ask as he kept standing behind the kitchen's counter, silent and with a light in his eyes I did not like one bit, fixed on me and clearly brewing whatever was going on in his mind. Did he not have a session with the therapist? I had a feeling it had been a failure, considered the mood in which he was, or he probably ran away from it, something that was not the first time. He would blame the psychologist and search for a new one, wanting to find a person who would immediately agree with him on everything and avoid confrontation.

"What were you doing before?" He asked with a demanding tone that ticked me off, but I knew better than react to his drunken provocation.

"I already replied before and now, I will get something to eat and then try to have a quiet evening. Do you want a coffee to sober up? Did you go to today's session?"

I moved around the kitchen pretending to do my things, but in truth I was keeping him under control, checking him with the corner of my eyes, sensing his state of mind. He walked closer to me and went to touch me again, but I moved away, and, when he went to grab my face wanting to force his mouth on mine and I blocked him by grabbing his wrists and pushing him away, hell broke loose.

"You are cheating on me, isn't that right? You were with some slut before, weren't you? Fucking me is no longer enough, right?" He began to yell in a very vulgar and upsetting way, the words he had just used somehow ticking me off badly because it seemed indirectly aimed at River. It had been long time since we had been in bed together and the tone he used, managed to switched on my anger; he had an unhealthy talent with that and no matter the amount of patience I always had, because he would push it further and further.

"Cut if off immediately, Aaron, what I do in my private life is none of your concern, and stop being so crass, considered we are no longer together," I said with very strict voice, but he seized the plate I had left on the table and threw it against the wall, breaking it along with something else, for then going to grab another one and repeat the same madness.

I felt my blood boiling at such view, knowing he was doing it on purpose, and I marched to him, wanting to make him stop.

"Aaron, stop at once," I ordered, but he snatched the empty fruits basket and threw it at me. I avoided it by covering my face with an arm, stepping to the side on time, or it would have cut my face considered it was made of glass; however, it shattered behind me and, before I could stop him, Aaron hit my face with his hand, yelling at me out of mind.

"You're a bastard, you never cared about me, while I love you so much and you just went to run after some other stupid bitch...you're a bastard, how can you do this to me?" I froze on the spot as anger took over me entirely and it was the cold and very quiet kind of anger, which it must have stretched out of me and reached Aaron, seeing he suddenly stopped and widened his eyes when his stare moved on my face. He looked scared for the first time and he had every right to do so. He was lucky I was not a temperamental person and someone who despised the used to violence, or else he would have found himself on the floor spitting blood. "Nicky...I'm...I'm sorry, please...don't...I-I didn't mean it, I'm sorry..."

He took a couple of steps back and I stood there, looking down on me and breathing deeply to contain my ire, because it was deep, and it was seeping through my entire system, making me feel suddenly as cold as ice and somehow made of stone.

"Nicky honey, please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you and..." It had happened again, just as it had happened over a year ago and I should have let go of him then, instead of pushing this relationship forward, wanting to give it some chances, asking myself whether I was really doing everything possible, because I thought of loving him. I did love Aaron, but it was a long time ago. If now I wanted to put efforts into a relationship, it was going to be with River only. There was something in him that completely stole my heart, mind, body and soul.

I stared at Aaron without suddenly feeling anything else toward him aside utter emptiness and he must have seen it, because he dropped on his knees and began to cry, tears this time really rolling down his face, the effect of alcohol possibly wearing slowly away.

"Make yourself a coffee and do not do anything else. I am leaving for now and when I am back I do not want to hear another word or breathing from you," I ordered him with levelled and very detached voice, glancing down at him, seeing he nodded once. "And clean up this mess," I added with more firmness, my words and their tone getting him. "Have you understood me?" I demanded and he nodded once, so I left.

I was just so tired of this and I had no idea how it was going to work in the next months, how I could put up with more of his scenes and very troublesome, selfish and egocentric behaviour. He often blamed it to others or to his so-called inner and mental fragility, but there was no therapist who seemed able to truly help him, because Aaron never once questioned himself, always believing he was right. I was not sure he wanted to be helped and for the first time, I was not sure he could be helped, if there was anything actually that needed to be healed or helped. He had a very difficult situation at home, a strained and pretty much broken relationship with his parents that might have caused some inner scars, but sometimes he pushed it over the limits, taking it out on people.

My feet took me out of the kitchen, going to grab my cell phone and car keys, in need to leave this place and get some fresh air. Anger never felt good and always left a bitter taste in my mouth, something I shared with Jasper, who also despised feeling upset. I drove around Los Angeles for a while, until I decided to stop around a spot where I would usually go for surfing; walking on the beach in the evening was very nice and the constant, somewhat quiet sound of the Ocean filled my senses, bringing me some peace and soothing the rage of before. I never liked to feel in such way, but in that moment, it couldn't be helped.

I sat on the sand and simply stared at water, listening the waves washing over shore, the sounds of the city not far, and so, I took my phone and sent a message to River, wanting to know if we could talk.

RIVER POV – NEW YORK:

We all left the gym and decided to go somewhere to grab a bite, Travis and Jasper having joined us after the training, saying they had spent some time at the park with cutie's skateboarding friends. Apparently, he didn't have dancing practice in the afternoon, saying their teacher gave them a free day. Needless to say, the moment Travis and Sasha met, they forgot where they were, completely losing connection with the present time and this world, just melting in each other arms. I had softly smiled while looking at them, recalling the way Nic and I kissed before he left, the intensity with which he took my mouth, the desire his touch stirred in me, the awareness it awoke about wanting to see him again, and possibly very soon. In that moment, I had also pretty much forgotten where I was.

It had shocked me at first, because we had just met and I still knew little of him, even if we kept in touch quite regularly; though, the feeling of that moment could not be denied and I thought about it since then.

Seeing each other was going to be possible only for Christmas and I was glad not so many days were still separating us. I paused at what I was thinking and the unconscious slip in my mind: us. It was not easy to admit it, afraid of letting myself really go, but negating the desire of wanting to see him was pointless. I honestly was looking forward to seeing Nicholas again, to spending time together, kissing him...spending the night with him. As I sat at the table of the dining room first, I checked my phone and re-read the message he had sent me earlier after having left work, another time staring at the picture he took during the weekend after surfing.

He truly was extremely handsome and unquestionably sexy with this tanned skin and visible muscles, and the warmth in his eyes, the kindness yet playfulness in his smile always got me.

Dima and Hayden came back with something to eat and I barely managed to stifle a laugh at seeing the quantity of food our Russian bear brought with him. He sat in front of me, Derek joining us a moment later, and we both exchanged a quick and very amused look, shaking our heads.

"Dude, I'd be broke if I were to always need to buy so much food outside," he joked as he took a sip from his Pepsi. He also ate quite a lot, but again, nobody possibly beat Dima in this, not even Sasha, who surely had quite a big appetite, but not as bottomless as our friend. Well, maybe his twin brother was almost like him, but maybe he had changed...who knew. Better stop thinking about that for now.

"Man, I am starving, the session at the gym after hockey training drained everything in me and now I must stuff my mouth," he spoke already wolfing down food and I rolled my eyes, because he never learned to avoid talking with his mouth full. However, something funny and rather unexpected happened the following moment, when Jasper, Travis and Sasha joined us at the table. "Jas, do you want some?" Dima immediately offered some fries as cutie sat right beside him, slightly blushing at first, for then giggling and shaking his head.

"Hmm, no thanks, I have my food and, oh boy, you shouldn't talk while eating," he innocently commented, all of us eyeing our friend and noticing he paused a moment to think over that, actually swallowing down before replying. Oh, that was new and quite very much an interesting piece of information: Jasper seemed to hold some sort of power on him. I observed them more, tapping my lips with my finger as to cover the smile on them, Travis eyeing me and quickly winking, both of us sharing the same thought.

"You're right, Jas, my mom always tells me the same and well, even the guys here say I'm a bit of a pig when I eat," he commented laughing and going to touch Jasper by apparently only patting his back, but it was something often happened between them. Sure, Dima was a touchy-feely person, similarly to Derek, but with cutie it was different and no doubts he hadn't noticed that himself; I wondered whether Jasper realized it or not, but I was ready to bet he did not see it. Having a crush and being so timid most of the time clouded judgement and observation.

"A bit of a pig only?" Sasha remarked, having Hayden chuckling since we all knew the truth. "Dima, you are a pig most of the time and you definitely should listen to Jasper, I mean it." Travis and I looked at each other and smiled, for two reasons. First, it was clear Sasha had warmed up with our younger friend, already considering him part of our group, and secondly, because we knew he was teasing our Russian bear, who on the other hand was completely oblivious to this.

"I will, sorry man, didn't mean to gross you out," he obviously said to Jasper only, who cutely fidgeted on his seat the moment Dima leaned closer and took a sip from his vanilla shake without even asking for permission. Honestly, they had become so much in tune with each other, comfortable around one another that I was really hoping for Jasper Dima would soon discover having feelings for him. "This shake tastes amazing, I'll also get one after I finish mine."

"Uhm, well," cutie slightly stuttered, since they were still quite close, "w-we can share it, because I must admit this is a bit too much for me alone."

Nice one, Jasper! I thought to myself and with the corner of my eyes, I caught Travis also nodding to himself, even though we both knew there was no actual planning or second motive behind his action, merely pure and precious spontaneity. He simply enjoyed being around Dima and share things together, and that was very much mutual; during lunch time in school they frequently got different meals they would then split.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep, it's really too much for me, so please go ahead," he replied, pushing the truly big glass of the shake between them. Jasper was simply adorable and terribly sweet, very considered and many times I asked myself what he would think of Nicholas and I, if he would be happy or not. I averted my eyes, feeling slightly guilty for keeping it a secret to everyone, exception made for Sasha, and Travis somehow, who knew but asked nothing, giving me space and respecting my decision. I silently sighed out, knowing right then it could not be any different and my best friend must have sensed the restlessness in me, because he very discreetly touched my back as to say to let it go. I quickly glanced at him and smiled.

"Thanks, man." Dima took another long sip and then made a funny sound as he obviously enjoyed the taste of it, Jasper unconsciously tilting closer and taking a couple of fries from his plate.

"I wonder if cutie could also manage to teach Dima not to fall asleep in class or blab out one of his priceless pearls of wisdom," Travis teased, making his friend obviously blush at once.

"Oh, that would be a true power, like some Jedi stuff you guys always talk about," Hayden commented, grinning widely and not understanding what was really going on.

"Yeah, dude, you should tell Dima to pay more attention in class, so that we don't have to save his ass all the time or have him skipping lunch as consequence of his bullshit," Derek egged on, very much aware of what was going on.

"Hey, you are talking about me as if I were always sleeping in class or getting lunch detention, but it doesn't happen that often, I mean, it didn't happen in the past ten days or so," Dima defended himself and I think we all burst out laughing at his expression, him following us in that and once more, touching Jasper by this time resting his long arm around his shoulders. People around us turned to stare at our table, especially at our Russian bear laughing so loudly you couldn't miss him even if you tried.

"Should we celebrate?" Travis provoked him and Sasha chuckled, also having his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders, but for a very different reason. As they walked to our table, it had been clear that some girls and also a couple of guys eyed him, not so discreetly checking him out, and of course, Sasha's beasty protectiveness kicked in at full speed and power, immediately stating what was his.

"C'mon guys, give me some credit, but well, maybe classes would be even funnier if Jasper would share my same subjects," he said without thinking twice and cutie almost choked in his drink, coughing out and getting bright red as soon as Dima checked if he was alright, massing his back. "Hey man, don't die on me, what would I do without you?"

"Hell yeah, cutie, what would he do without you and your infinite patience in listening to all of his endless bullshit and dork-like stuff about Star Wars?"

"Oh boy, Travis," he murmured, glancing away a moment, for then gasping out as Dima once more went to hug his shoulders.

"Yeah, nobody else has your patience with me, that's true."

"Jasper," Hayden suddenly said, "you have quite a talent, believe me." Indeed, cutie had a talent and that was rendering Dima somehow unaffected by girls whenever they were together, because he had not taken any notice of two ladies earlier eyeing him with evident interest and possibly deciding whether to try their fortune or not, giving up as soon as they saw Sasha's intimidating presence and glacial stare.

I discreetly took my phone and typed a quick message, wanting to let Nicholas know about our dinner, at what was happening with his brother and his undeniable crush. The reply arrived almost instantly, and my lips tilted up in a smile, Sasha leaning closer to me and shaking his head as I showed him the content of the message.

"You keep him up-to-date?" He quietly asked and I only nodded. "But not sure this time it will be like me, because we are talking about Dima, who cannot take anything seriously and who has as many dates as God knows what."

"But didn't you notice before?" I asked under my breath and he titled his head on me, creasing his forehead for then smirking.

"Oh right, I almost forgot, somehow he got distracted and missed an easy chance for a date, hmm?"

"Exactly, but you are right in saying that we might all still be using too much imagination, expecting something it might not happen," I mused and my friend rested his piercing eyes on me for a moment, as if studying me. "What is it?"

"You can never really know what to expect and the outcomes, look at me," he said, meaning his unforeseen relationship and deep love for Travis and I said nothing to that, wanting to hear what else he had in mind. "So, do not think too much and give it time. It might turn out something unexpected yes, but truly worth it, that will change your life." His words left me speechless and I then covered with a charming smile, which of course didn't work on him.

"You might be right," I solely conceded and he quietly snorted.

"You will hear from him tonight? I know you had a quick chat earlier, right?"

"Yes," I said and he smirked, for then concentrating his attention on Travis as soon as the waitress walked to our table to enquire if needed more, bringing the last orders we made earlier, and trying to flirt with him. She paled down as soon as her eyes met Sasha's stare, only then realizing they were together, Travis completely melted in his impossible to mistake territorial embrace.

He loved this side of my friend, his protectiveness that pretty much bordered with possessiveness, even though kept within healthy limits. It was something I never experienced and not sure I would so much enjoy as Travis did; but of course, he loved it because it was linked to deep and true love, knowing how much Sasha was crazy for him, the fact he would do anything for him, even crossing hell's threshold if necessary. Still, I was not sure if that would be good for me and I had a feeling Nicholas was not the jealous type, but more likely the person giving trust if deserved and suddenly, a sense of need took me.

I wanted that and I wanted him only for myself, since knowing he shared the same apartment with his ex-boyfriend left me restless sometimes. He had been very clear and honest about that, not hiding it from me and normally explaining if anything happened with that man, but I still wanted to have Nicholas only for myself, solely looking at me. Did this make me a jealous and possibly possessive person? I was not entirely sure, and I doubted it, because there were other reasons behind that. It was not about marking what was mine or being territorial, like Sasha; no, it was something else. It was the need to have Nicholas only looking and thinking about me, especially in this situation. The sudden and roaring laughing of Dima pulled me back from my train of thoughts and I just smiled to cover it.

"So, what should we do after this?" He asked and Dee rolled his eyes, slapping his arm.

"Don't you guys have a game tomorrow? You should go home and rest or whatever the hell your coach yells at you all the time, since I heard he is quite the demonic coach."

"He sure yells a lot, especially at the new ones, but he will never beat our captain in terms of scariness and being like a demon," Hayden commented, grinning at us. Indeed, Coach Garrison had a talent for often shouting and being very strict, but it was true Sasha was the one who mostly intimidated the entire team and who held its unconditional and unwavering respect and admiration.

"Hmm baby, my hot and beasty hockey captain, can't wait to be alone with you, especially after the game," Travis murmured to him, leaning closer and stealing a quick kiss from my friend's lips, who then captured his boyfriend's mouth and without a care returned the gesture with much more passion. I always found them beautiful, in the way they disconnected from everything the moment their lips touched, or their eyes met. There was so much love yet lust in it, and hadn't I felt the same pull and scary desire when Nicholas had kissed me for the first time? It had left me breathless and completely blanked my mind for a moment, my heart racing and my body greedy for more.

"Well, someone here is not going to sleep once at home, am I right man?" Dima joked and Hayden just chuckled, checking his phone and smiling as he had probably received a message from Diane.

"Yes, I'm spending the night at Travis's place, got a problem with that?" Sasha replied joking, after having broken the kiss, his arm still strongly around his boyfriend's back. "I'll get fired up for tomorrow's game in my own way, don't worry."

"No doubts about that, man, just don't destroy your crazy mate too much, right Travis?"

"Oh, Alexi can destroy me as much as he wishes, I love his rough and very much untamed side," Travis replied making a very wicked expression, his black eyes gleaming with quite not hidden naughtiness, not missing the chance to tease and have his own kind of fun.

I chuckled and wondered if Nicholas would have enjoyed a moment like this, spent in the company of my friends, simply eating dinner all together, talking, making rather silly jokes, laughing and just enjoying each other's company. I considered the idea and looked around at our table, remembering the way we met, how he had easily socialized with all of them. Perhaps, he would enjoy it and then, we would also spend the night together the same way Travis and Sasha had planned, and suddenly the thought almost overwhelmed me, giving my heart a momentary rush. What was this? I checked my phone again and felt strangely relieved knowing we were going to talk once more later in the evening.

"What about you, River?" Derek asked out of the blue and I just smiled in my usual way. "Got some date?" I shook my head and he chuckled. "Yeah right, you turned down the guy at the gym, true enough, and to be fair, he had been quite brave, in particular as he eyed our Alex here thinking whether he was going to get his ass kicked or not."

"Yes, he had been very straightforward, that is right," I merely commented, and he studied me a bit longer.

"I thought you'd say yes, because he seemed your type," he said and I had to give him credit for being so observant and sharp, wanting to understand if something was going on with me. Dee always had a very keen instinct. I wasn't ready yet to share my present situation with him, but I would soon enough. He was another very special friend and hiding things from him made me feel uncomfortable, thus I offered the best reply I could give right then.

"I was not interested in him, nothing much to say," I answered, and his dark-chocolate eyes lingered on me a moment longer, for then smiling in quite the cunning way.

"Yeah dude, that must have been the reason." I smiled, because Dee had understood more than I thought and I was immensely grateful he decided to let it go for now, giving me time, aware I would speak with him whenever it felt right. Sasha quickly glanced at me with a knowing smirk and I pretended not to see it, causing him to quietly snort.

We had dinner and went on talking and joking for the entire time, later stopping at a shopping mall as Travis declared he had seen a new pair of leopard print either Vans or Converse he wanted to get, together with something else, and I tagged along together with Jasper, Dima and Derek, Hayden having left to meet Diane.

While Travis tried on a pair of jeans only he could pull off so well, Jasper also checking a t-shirt together with Dee, Sasha, Dima and I sat at the Starbuck's in front of the shop sipping some drink, discussing tomorrow's game possible schemes and strategies to try. Right then, as we normally chatted and chuckled, my eyes caught the sight of my brother in the company of some girl. I froze at first, somehow nervous about what he would say or how he would react in front of my friends, in particular with Sasha, but then another feeling wrapped around my hear and I felt cold.

The girl looked older than him and, if I would have normally seen nothing wrong in that, there was something in her that didn't sit well at the very first. Dima noticed nothing, still talking about the game and not having registered my silence, but Sasha did and he his eyes followed my stare, immediately targeting the cause of my quietness. Hard to tell what he thought in that moment, but his jaw tightened a moment and his glance grew cold at once. We exchanged a quick look and he gave me an impossible to detect nod, but I understood it at first; with a very banal excuse, I left the table and went to meet Tommy, wanting to see what was going on.

"Tommy," I called for him and his entire figure stiffened as he heard my voice, eyeing me warily and putting up immediately a defensive attitude. "Hey, nice to see you here, are you doing some shopping with friends?" I casually asked, observing the girl for a moment by just smiling, as if nothing was going on, pretending it was absolutely normal. He kept silent and so did her, staring back at me with rather too open defiance. Why was that? "I am here with my friends, if you want to greet them."

"I've got no time, we are going to the cinema," he muttered out, nervously glaring first at me and then around, as if looking for them.

"Mom and dad know about this?" I asked, aware it was not the best question to pull out in that moment, but in the need to test his reactions and hers, too. She smiled in a very wicked way and I didn't like it, but Tommy slightly blushed and then set hard and quite angry eyes on me, also them of the same deep blue of mine, yet different.

"I'm not a kid, River, and I can go to the cinema if I want, no need for your permission."

"This is not what I asked, and you know it, Tommy."

"Stop with that and they got nothing against it, so leave me alone and go back to you friends," he hissed out, speaking the last word with almost venom in his voice, knowing very well it was aimed at Sasha. To think he used to adore him, following us all the time, especially when it came to hockey practice and sometimes, asking us to help him for a test.

"Tommy..." I went to say, but she interrupted me, ticking me off as it was not her place. However, I let it go, not wanting to display anything in front of a complete stranger, simply offering her a quick smile.

"I think we should go, or we might arrive late," she said directly looking at him and clearly ignoring me. I had not missed the fact she hadn't introduced herself and that also my brother hadn't done so.

What was going on?

She was clearly older than him and possibly around my age, not matching with Thomas in anything, dressed with quite eye-catching clothes, long curly strawberry-blonde hair, eyes enhanced by make-up, just like her red lips, and the idea did not settle down well with me. However, arguing now would have sorted out nothing, only making things worse, and if he said our parents had nothing against it, that was not a lie. Not a complete lie. He probably just said he was going to the cinema with friends but omitting the rest. I decided to let it go for now.

"Then enjoy it," I only said, for then setting my eyes on her. "Be careful, Tommy, you know you can always count on me if needed." With that, my message to her was delivered and she did not appear stupid enough not to comprehend it, considered the way she quickly widened her eyes, for then looking away.

With that, I left and walked back to the table, seeing the others had joined there. Sasha glanced at me and I just shook my head, Travis registering the brief exchange and setting his black eyes on me, but looking away the following moment, not wanting to intrude. He had probably grasped something, since he sure didn't miss my brother's reaction when they came to pick me up that Saturday before the game.

"What should we do now?" Dima asked and I found myself suddenly tired, worried about my brother and just wanting to go home and possibly hear very soon from Nicholas.

"I will go home, tomorrow we have a game and I would like to rest," I only said and Derek looked at me, as if having felt something was out of place, even though I kept my expression as usual.

"I can give you lift home, if you want, since I'm sure Alex will disappear with Travis and destroy his crazy half the moment they will get home and what about you, Dima? Going to watch some dorky movie with cutie?" God bless Derek and his keen instinct.

"Oh boy...what we watch isn't dorky," Jasper said and obviously our Russian bear rested his elbow on his shoulder and nodded his agreement. "But uhm well, I should also go home, or I have no idea what my mother would say."

"Man, that woman is really unbearable, but hey, sorry, she's your mom, so can't say much, right?" I blinked surprised at the almost impossible consideration he had just showed for Jasper, somehow being almost tactful, and cutie just giggled and shook his head, as if saying he also knew his mother was quite problematic. I wondered how Nic lived this situation and I hoped he would soon tell me, desiring to truly knowing everything of him. "Fine Jas, I'll drive you and then I'll go back, maybe I'll play something or whatever. So, see you all tomorrow at the game ready to kick ass and let the other team eat our ice?" He grinned and wiggled his blonde brows, all of us chuckling at his comical expression.

"Sure buddy; see you tomorrow and see not to stay up too late," Sasha teased him.

"Look who's talking," Dima fired back, seeing how our friend had his arms around Travis. "Hey crazy one, don't keep our captain up till late, OK?"

"What do you say baby, should I listen to him?"

"Not a chance, love, you know how it goes before and after a game."

"Hell, I love it and can't ask for anything better," Travis replied and no doubts about how they were going to conclude the evening. Yet, before leaving he hugged Jasper and kissed his cheeks, always having attentions and affection for his friend. "See you tomorrow, cutie, we'll pick you up, alright?"

"Man, I already offered him a lift," Dima protested, and Derek pressed his hand over his mouth to contain his laughing.

"Oh, did you now? So, I'll leave cutie in your hands and see you all tomorrow guys, we'll be there cheering for you," he said, Jasper shily murmuring a barely audible "oh boy" and blushing. As they left, Derek and I found ourselves alone, and he immediately went straight to the point.

"What happened before?"

"Nothing much, I just saw Tommy in the company of a girl and not sure if she is his girlfriend or just a friend," I replied, still considering the way she looked, the rather showy choice of make-up and clothes, the way her eyes indulged on me as wanting to study me.

I hoped she was only a friend or a sort of crush, because I could foresee trouble if that was not the case, given how she re-addressed my brother's attention on herself and completely ended our exchange. I limited myself simply not to make things worse and avoid having him closing up like some clam, preventing any normal dialogue even more. It was already very complicated, and I had to be careful; I didn't want to repeat the same it happened with Anatoly and the idea pretty much terrified me.

"Something wrong with that? He is in the age for finding a girl I guess," he commented and that was technically right, but something truly felt out of place, and my friend must have sensed my conceived uneasiness. "You didn't like her maybe? I know you are very protective toward the people you love." His smile was warm and cheerful, aimed to really make me feel better. Nicholas had a very similar yet even more striking effect whenever he softly chuckled at the phone, the softness and warmth of it always touching me deeply. It was not a simple laughter or smile, but much more.

"Yes, you might be right, but she seemed older," I only replied, and he glanced at me, saying nothing.

"Well, when you are at that age finding an older girlfriend seems very cool and hot I guess, but hey, maybe try to talk to him and see what's going on, because they might just be friends, who knows?"

"Yeah, I will try to talk to him," I merely said, because there was a good chance Tommy would not want to hear me out, but I couldn't give up. "So, shall we go home?"

"Sure, and River?"

"What is it?"

"I know you are very close to Alex and that you feel very comfortable talking to him, but useless to say you can always count of me, alright?" I smiled at him honestly grateful and softly kissed his cheek. Yeah, he had put what happened with Anatoly behind his back, somehow, but his last words proved me once more that we all thought about him, in a way or another.

"Thank you, Dee, I know that very well and it means a lot, truly." My phone vibrated and there was a message from Nicholas, asking me whether we could talk. It was a simple message, yet I had a heavy feeling about it and I truly couldn't wait to be at home and hear his voice.

As soon as I dropped on my bed, I pressed the call button and Nicholas replied in no time, the sounds in the background suggesting he was outside, possibly at the beach. Had something happened with his ex-boyfriend or did he just want to go for a walk?

"River, I am happy to hear you," he calmly said, but he sounded tired somehow.

"Nic, are you alright?" There was a pause over the phone, and I knew my instinct had been right. "What happened, how are you?" He sighed and then softly chuckled, the sound so beautiful however so stretched.

"Forgive me, because I am here on the phone with you, finally able to talk to you for longer than a few minutes, and I sound tired." He stayed silent for a couple of seconds and I let him, understanding he was probably just ordering his thoughts and a very heavy, uncomfortable feeling wrapped around me. "I had a fight with my ex-boyfriend, a bad confrontation which ended up with him throwing things in the kitchen, since he had drunk." I felt my entire body halting and my heart sank in my chest. I was almost afraid to hear the rest. "Last night he had tried to kiss me, same today when he came to where I work, making quite a disgraceful scene, given I told him I want to either sell or rent the apartment where I am currently living."

"Are you alright, Nic?" I rushed out asking, finally snapping out of my momentary frozen daze. His ex-boyfriend was dangerous and had a very scary habit, no wonder I felt restless after having read his message. "Did he do something to you?" Somehow, the idea that man could have hurt Nic angered me more than the idea he tried to kiss him. I didn't like to hear that, but the fact Nicholas honestly told me, clearly having it minded it, considered the tone of his voice, managed to leave me less agitated than I would have thought.

Still, I truly did not like it and I felt scared at the idea of what man, living in the same flat, could try to do to get Nicholas back.

"I am fine, River, really, and I'm sorry for having to tell you this, but I wanted to make things clear and honest with you. He tried but failed, as I refused and pushed him away. Nothing happened."

"I know," I spontaneously said and that surprised me no little, because I truly knew Nicholas wasn't lying.

"Thank you," he calmly said, his voice sounding less strained and tired of before. Was it because he had told me what happened, and I had believed in him? I smiled at the thought. "He has some issues, as you can tell from his behaviour and he is seeing a therapist, but he missed the session and fell back on a bad, old vice."

"Can I ask you what's his name?" I wanted to know how that man daring to behave so poorly and horribly with Nicholas was called, the name of the person I perceived as an invisible threat. Nic hesitated a moment and I understood why, appreciating his consideration, but then he replied, possibly guessing my reasons.

"His name is Aaron." I could now place a name to that person.

"Are you really alright, Nic? Has he done something to you?"

"He hit me, but nothing to worry about, I mean it, since I barely felt it and I somehow expected it." I dropped into complete silence, my mind freezing at what I had just heard. He had dared to hit Nicholas. "River? Are you there?"

"He did hit you?" I asked with clipped voice and he sighed out.

"I am sorry, I should have not told you probably, because the last thing I want is you worrying about me. He is a very difficult person and it partially is my fault for having put up with his many whims for too long, but you have nothing to worry about, I made things clear earlier and I just want you to know that nothing will ever happen."

"Thanks," I murmured, laying down on the bed and staring at the ceiling, my mind racing up and thinking of all the various possible scenarios that could happen, what that man could try to do to win Nicholas back or even just hurt him as petty revenge, but he had said it wasn't going to happen and I had to trust him, for there was no other available choice. Yet, I still could not believe at what I heard; at the fact he had hit Nicholas. Another feeling followed by an almost frightening emotion stirred in me and I had to close my eyes a moment, letting it go, for now at least. "It does worry me, though," I honestly said, and he chuckled, this time the sound beautiful and warm, soothing my worries and restlessness.

"You're kind and very understanding, but there is no need. I gave him an ultimatum and he will need to look for his own place, since I will start to do the same soon." The idea he wanted to find a new place, detaching himself completely from that man, from what they had shared together pleased me much more I was ready to admit. It made me feel more secure, chasing my fears away of a slight degree.

"Where are you now?" I asked, wanting to veer the conversation and make him feel better, because I could only try to imagine how all of that weighted down on him, even if he didn't exactly show it.

"At the beach, some spot where sometimes I come for surfing and you would definitely like it here," he spoke with calm and gentle voice, causing my lips to tilt up.

"I also think that I would like it," I admitted, rolling to the side, and imagining to directly speak to him while starting into his playful, confident eyes.

"Come visit me here," he suddenly said, surprising me, "as soon as I get a new place, come visit me here in Los Angeles, so that we can spend a few days together and I can show you what I do here." My heart reacted to that and so did my mouth, smiling more than I thought possible, a warm feeling wrapping around me. He desired to show me his life in Los Angeles...

"I will, Nicholas," I replied with a touch of flirtation and the chuckle he let out also held a sensual note.

"Please do not worry about me, as I have the situation under control and I will never allow him to do anything and, as I already said, nothing will ever happen," he told me with firm voice and the sincerity, frankness in it completely struck me. "So, enough about this and tell me more about yourself, was the evening with your friends pleasant?"

"It was and maybe you would have also enjoyed it?" I tested him.

"I am sure of that, since they all seem very nice and the weekend I was over there, I had good time at the game, aside the obvious you and I met." Oh, how much I liked to hear this. "You have a match tomorrow, am I right?"

"Yes, we are ready for that and I am sure we will score a few goals, since we have tried a new scheme with Sasha."

"He must be very talented and a great captain," he mused, and the comment surprised me.

"How did you guess that?"

"Just a feeling and also, by the way you talk about your practice or about your training with him, how you obviously love it and I saw the way he behaved with both Dmitri and Hayden: a true friend but also captain at heart." Nicholas was so perceptive and observant that he never failed to pleasantly strike me with his intelligence.

"He truly is and the entire team pretty much worships him," I replied, smiling, since another thought hit me; he didn't mind the way I spoke about my best friend and that was very important. Then, after having heard about his ex-boyfriend, Aaron, the fact he had tried to kiss him, something else switched inside of me and I wanted to have Nicholas's attention only on me, I wanted to test something else.

"Somebody at the gym today asked me out for a date," I said casually, covering my true intentions.

"Oh really, why does that not surprise me?" He chuckled amused, but relaxed, not bothered by the idea and I wondered why, once more wrong-footing me.

"Does this not make you the least uncomfortable or jealous?" I openly asked, even surprising myself for the frankness in my voice and the directness used.

"Not really, for the simple reason I know you are extremely handsome and attracting people around you easily, obviously striking their interest with your eyes and beauty, but let me say that the manner in which you replied does make a difference; in this, I must be honest." There was no need for him to make the obvious question, since he expected an answer from me.

"I said no, clearly," I replied without hesitation, smiling over the phone and slightly flirting with my voice and he felt it, given the way he softly laughed.

"Ah River, you truly are irresistible." I loved hearing him saying that, as the sound of his voice was lulling my senses and awakening my desire. "But do tell me: why did you say no?" Hmm, always so direct and open, wasn't he?

"Isn't it obvious?" I played a bit.

"No, not really, so tell me, River, why did you say no?" Oh, I liked this in Nicholas, and it scared me at the same time, the way he could pull my emotions out without much effort, touching the right buttons, leaving me speechless, just like now, pulling answers out of me without great effort. "It does make a difference," he added, and I was the one quietly chuckling over the phone.

"Because I am seeing you," I admitted aloud, the words making it feel almost official even though nothing we had going on was declared explicitly. Yet, they made it implicit.

"I am glad to hear this," he honestly replied, "because this is the same reason I am telling you nothing will ever happen with Aaron, aside the fact we had broken up for other matters. But seeing you changes things even more and not just with him, believe me."

I could not say anything for a moment, because his words had left breathless and completely hit me in a place which I wasn't sure I wanted to yet expose.

"River, are you alright?" He inquired, sensing my silence.

"Right now, I would like to see you," I unexpectedly confessed and the sound of his voice and chuckling made my heart race.

"I also would like to see you now, River." I loved the way he pronounced my name.

I had worried about the fact we said nothing about being exclusive, but I have had my reply just now. If Nicholas said I was irresistible, so was he, with his unexpected way of catching me out of guard, pulling at feeling I was carefully controlling, almost baring my emotions with his words and actions. It was all so unexpected, so overwhelming, but also all so startling.

We spoke more, until he wished me a good night and made me promise to let him know the result of the game and to send him a picture of me in my uniform, together with my team.

NICHOLAS POV:

Speaking to River made me feel better and I was glad we had cleared one important thing out, actually, two of them. He had understood I was serious about him even if it had not been openly declared, but my words of before could not be mistaken in any possible way; also, it was important telling him openly what happened with Aaron and I understood why he wanted to know his name. It pleased me, seeing the reason behind that and seeing his true strength. I didn't want him to worry about me, therefore I hesitated on whether to say everything that occurred during the evening, but what was the point in omitting it? River was very quick at grasping things and he had already gotten the problems with Aaron were serious. Hiding would have been useless.

When he told me about some guy asking him out, it definitely didn't come as a surprise, and I was aware River for sure could have many occasions if he wished for it. Therefore, his words truly made me happy, also somehow loudly implying we were seeing each other, and he was serious in this as much as I was.

The situation was not ideal or very easy, considered the material distance between us created by my living here while he was in New York, the fact we had just met and we kept in touch mostly via phone; also, I just came out of a rather messy relationship and, as much as I liked and wanted River, I knew very well things had to be handled with their own due pace. Rushing would only make it worse and maybe create some different problems; I had wondered whether telling Jasper or not, but I concluded it still was too early.

River was clearly interested in me, but I felt that, even though he had somewhat openly stated he was seeing me and thus he had no intention of meeting with other people, he still pulled back, guarding himself. If what I thought was correct, I understood him very well; a difficult or badly ended relationship had the power to leave some effects or repercussions on people and I myself knew the need of time and clear, clam mind to reflect upon everything. Being betrayed left consequences that needed time.

I had no doubts about liking River and finding him an incredible person, with such mesmerizing intelligence and sensibility I found myself thinking about him every day; he was a person who could really listen to you and I wanted to give him the same. But I also knew it was only fair for now to take it slowly, advancing step after step. I think, he also was unconsciously aware of this and, knowing of my recent break-up, someone like River would never immediately agree to jump in a relationship at first; and this definitely made perfect sense.

After having spent some other time on the beach, simply listening to the sound of the Ocean, the call with River having completely chased away the anger I had felt earlier because of Aaron, I went to eat something at a quiet dining place, going to call my brother. He immediately told me everything about his afternoon and evening with his friends, as usual talking a lot about Travis and Dmitri, but this time mentioning River twice, seeing he was slowly growing more relaxed around him.

"Where are you now?" He asked as I heard some quiet sounds in the background, knowing he was playing some game.

"Eating something outside," I replied, while I nodded at the waiter who brought the food at my table.

"Now? Why aren't you at home with Aaron?" He immediately went to inquire, but then he paused and of course, he had guessed as much. "Did you have another fight, Nic?"

"Yes, sort of," I only said, and he sighed out, switching the game off, and giving me his complete attention.

"Nic, you had another fight when you were here and this is not the first time, I mean, I know it's not entirely my business, but I don't like to hear you fighting with him all the time...oh boy, it would make me so nervous! What happened this time?"

"Nothing much, Jas, really, don't worry about it."

"You always say this," he murmured out and I didn't understand what that was supposed to mean.

"What do you mean?"

"You always say to others not to worry about you, because you are like this, too kind and patient, never wanting to put your worries on others." Ah, my little brother was very perceptive and, no doubts, if things played out well with River, I would need to tell him clearly.

"Because there is nothing to worry about, I mean it," I repeated, for there was no need right then to explain everything, especially not over the phone.

"Hmm...I'm not convinced, but I won't push you, but uhm well, take care Nic and are you eating right now?"

"Yep, eating now, what about you?"

"I was playing some new game Dima suggested and tomorrow I'll see them playing," he cheerfully explained and the happiness in his voice could not be missed, just as it was impossible to miss the way his voice changed note when he spoke about that guy.

"Take some pictures," I suddenly said. "I would be curious to see them play; they give me the idea of being very good at that."

"Oh boy, I sure will and some videos, too! And yep, they are all amazing at playing, Alex being the toughest one and impossible to beat captain, Hayden apparently the best goalie, River very fast and having a great understanding and connection with Alex, as I think they often score with combined actions," I smiled hearing that, something River himself had confirmed, "and uhm well, Dima is also really great and talented at playing, fast and good at charging the opposing team and he does always something funny whenever he scores, like mimicking some character he likes or dancing on the ice," he said giggling amused and indeed, my brother really liked that guy and I was glad River kept me updated on that, since he could see things under a different and more insightful perspective.

"That's good to know, so enjoy playing your new game and I will go back to my food, we can talk again tomorrow, if you want."

"Sure thing, Nic!" I chuckled at his enthusiasm, for my brother always had the incredible power to cheer people up without even realizing it.

When I returned at home, the place was quiet and the lights had been left on in the hall, but I noticed Aaron had cleaned up the mess both in the living and in the kitchen. I heard nothing from him, even though he was in his room; I heeded him no attention or words, and, after a quick shower, I went to sleep.

I really wanted to have River over here, but first, there were a couple of things of which to take care and fix; tomorrow, I would start looking already for a new place.

RIVER POV – OVER A WEEK LATER:

After training at the gym, Sasha came back home with me because mom had invited him over for dinner and he accepted it; I knew Travis was going to the cinema with Jasper and two of his friends from skateboarding and I couldn't repeat enough how grateful I was for Travis's personality and behaviour, his keen understanding and deep sensibility. Sasha would never let go of his friends, no worries over that, but being in a relationship could have changed things greatly and I was glad the only thing that changed was that my best friends spent most of his weekends with his boyfriend.

"Do you think he will be at home?" Sasha asked me after parking his pickup truck in front of our house, seeing his expression concentrated on the entrance door, as if lost in some thinking, without doubts connecting the present situation regarding Tommy with Anatoly.

"Have you maybe accepted the invitation because...Nothing, it doesn't matter," I said, going to open the door because there was no reason to doubt anything, but he stopped me.

"River, look I am not as good as you at reading and analysing people, but if you wanted to ask whether I accepted your mother's invitation over dinner just to have a quick talk with your brother, the reply is yes and no." I smiled softly at him, his beautiful icy-blue eyes directly staring into mine, always so confident and handsome, so much many girls had been distracted earlier in the gym, observing him and without doubt trying to build up the courage to talk to him, which never arrived. Approaching Sasha was basically impossible for strangers. "I know it's not my business in a way, but I'd like to exchange a couple of words with your brother, not to mention I care about you and this is eating you inside, no matter how well you try to cover it in front of others. I can see that pretty well, believe me."

"Sasha..." He shook his head, indicating he wasn't done talking and I let him.

My friend was the only one who sometimes had the power to leave me amazed for the way he could understand me, read inside of me, and then I paused. That was not true. Nicholas also seemed to be very good at that and a feeling I never experienced before spread inside of me, its invisible fingers grasping at every cell of my body and mind, making my heart react to it. Nic was...hmm, hard to find just one word to describe him. Later I will have to send him a message and possibly hear his voice. I strangely felt the need for that, for his calm, warm and very soothing voice, the balanced and reassuring note it held.

"I also want to simply spend the evening with you, River, alright? Don't always overanalyse everything and let your friends worry and care about you, deal?"

"Thank you," I could only say, and he just grinned in his usual way. "And to reply your question, yes, Tommy will definitely be at home because my parents wouldn't allow it differently and I wonder how he will react at seeing you there." I chuckled to actually cover my sadness, since my brother used to adore Sasha, but he placed a hand on the back of my neck.

"I will behave, I promise you I'll do my best to keep my temper and issues on a leash, alright?" So handsome I said before, right? He was and very perceptive and caring, qualities I had discovered also in Nicholas. Comparing the two of them would have been pointless and unfair under many aspects, starting by the fact one was my best friend and the other one was a person I would have liked to have as partner, as boyfriend, the person who stirred my desire with intensity never experienced before. Moreover, their personalities were extremely different, clashing; yet, seeing that someone else could be like Sasha in some ways left me both happy and slightly nervous.

Happy and grateful in having met an exceptional man who easily filled my thoughts and emotions, who made me think about it basically every day, wanting to admit it or not; slightly nervous because I was afraid to lose it, and find out it was all an illusion. I chased those worries away and concentrated on the present time.

"Shall we go?" I asked and Sasha nodded, both of us stepping out of the truck and, before reaching the front door, I stopped him. "Thank you, I really mean it."

"Don't mention it, you're my friend."

I would never be able to express the entirety of the feelings those words always swirled inside of me, how they wrapped around me with a warm and reassuring sensation, as if having strong arms supporting me and letting me know I would never be alone and abandoned. His words were sincere and absolute. He meant them with all his heart and mind, signifying a great deal.

He dropped the bag in my room, and we sat down a moment waiting for mom and dad to finish preparing dinner, considered they didn't want our help in the kitchen. I was a bit concerned about Tommy and his behaviour, having barely greeted Sasha with a sour and openly hostile expression, immediately hiding in the living room. I hoped he wasn't going to say or do anything to trigger my friend's temper or ruin the dinner, but something about his recent worsened behaviour left me apprehensive.

"Do they know about his new girlfriend or whoever the hell that girl we saw the other day with your brother is?" Sasha asked sitting at the chair of my desk and looking directly at me.

"I don't know if he said anything about that and I am not sure what to do. He is barely fifteen and she looked older, about our age or so, which is concerning me quite a lot," I confessed, looking outside the window, seeing the dark sky and the lights from the street and other houses. The problem wasn't the difference in age, but the look and attitude of that girl and I knew how bad companies could wrongly influence people going through some personal issues. "I should probably tell them, what do you think?"

"It is rare of you to openly ask for advice, which means you are very much concerned and afraid to do the wrong thing, but River, don't worry about the fact your brother might hate you more or not, just tell them." It was always very easy to talk with him, because he was extremely straightforward, never beating around the bush and going to the main point at once, never afraid to tell me what he truly thought. And he understood this situation very well, having witnessed a few episodes. "Can I ask you something?" He then surprised me by asking.

"As if there is a need for such question between us," I replied amused and he chuckled, going to sit beside me on the bed.

"What did Nicholas say about this situation?" His question took me aback and I didn't say anything for a moment. "I know you two speak often and quite regularly, right? I noticed you checked your phone earlier in the gym and there was a smile on your face I rarely see. He seems a good person and quite mature, also having a younger brother, who however definitely doesn't give him any trouble, so maybe you could also hear his opinion on this." I widened my eyes and then laughed out openly, gaining quite the crooked glare. "What?"

"The unsociable and glacial Aleksandr Lebedev is actually complementing twice a person met only once: should we expect red snow tomorrow?" He rolled his eyes and then playfully punched my arm.

"Shut up, smartass," he joked back, his usual one-side smirk on his lips, the eyes always of that clear and almost transparent blue, truly resembling pure ice. "He is not a complete stranger but Jasper's brother and, not to forget, you like him, even if you won't admit it directly with anyone yet, but I see you, River, and I know what I'm talking about. If you do like him and talk to him, well, it means he is a good person and that's however the impression he gave me."

I reflected over his words and remembered an episode from the past. Indeed, Sasha always had a keen instinct, even if sometimes affected by his being the type of person not wanting to get bothered or in unnecessarily touch with strangers. Yet, it had to be said that he basically never failed in recognising good people from rather twisted ones.

"You actually had never like him," I quietly commented, and his eyes were on me with drilling intensity, his face darkening and hardening at once.

"That piece of shit deserved to have his nose and teeth completely broken for what he had done to you, the way he treated you," he growled annoyed and I rested my head on his shoulder, recalling what happened when the truth came out.

"Well, you almost broke his nose anyway," I reminded him.

"I should have crashed it completely, not simply making it bleed. You and Dee should have not stopped me." He shook his head trying to cool down his temper, as I could sense it had been stirred already, his body slightly trembling. Being with Travis was greatly helping in the matter, I knew it, but Sasha had also admitted he still needed time to entirely control it. "That goddamn vermin...sometimes I wish to see his face again just to finish the job."

"I have no idea where he is now, if still in New York or not, and I really don't care."

"You keep his picture, though, why? Why do you keep his fucking picture?" Yes, his anger issues woke up just thinking about that person and I should have not brought it up, but then again, we were friends.

"To remind myself of the big mistake I made in trusting him so easily and that you were right," I explained, pulling back to directly stare at him. "I should have listened to you at first."

"I am telling you, River, you should have not stopped me when I wanted to re-arrange his face."

I smiled at his words and at the care, affection he always had for me, no matter what.

When that time he had reacted in such way, I realized I was still in love with my best friend, having really always hoped to find someone who would treasure and care about me in the way Sasha did, yet differently. Had I found that person in Nicholas? I silently sighed out and let that thought go. I had been in love with my best friend for long time, but then the feeling changed and grew in complete and pure friendship. Honest and deep friendship, nothing more. It was true though that if I were to lose Sasha, it would hurt more than anything else, especially after having lost Anatoly.

"I didn't want you to get into trouble because of him," I only said, eyeing the picture on my desk.

"I swear, I also don't get why you still keep a picture with that bastard," he asked with very granitic voice and I stared at him, wanting to know his true emotions. "What is it?" He groaned out.

"Don't you ever miss him?"

"No," he replied bitterly without hesitation, but I hadn't missed the way his eyes quickly flashed, how his jaw slightly contracted. "I know you were really attached to him and that..." I stopped him by placing my hands on his face, forcing him to look back at me since he had averted his eyes elsewhere.

"Sasha, you also were really attached to him, isn't that right?" His eyes pierced mine with so much intensity I almost felt my breath being sucked away.

"Yeah, I also was very attached to him and you are right, I do miss the Tolya of years ago and I don't understand why he hates us all this much, but I cannot stop myself in considering what he has done, how he behaved and still behaves." He took a deep breath in order to probably tame his short temper. "I cannot let go of the fact he beat up Jasper, because I remember the way he stared at us, in particular at myself and at the Dima, the fear in his eyes. I cannot understand how a person who was my best friend could do such thing. I cannot understand and at this point, I don't want to understand it."

There was so much pain in his words and I never realized the wound ran so deeply, because he always made a good show in calling Anatoly a sick and twisted bastards, saying he did not care, putting up his well-known poker face. But the truth was that we both missed him, very much.

"I am sorry for forcing you to speak about this, you have your own ways with emotions and dealing with them," I said, letting go of his face and staring back at that picture. "I also cannot understand why and how he could behave in such way, why Anatoly turned out like this, what happened...I feel powerless." Admitting weakness was one of the hardest and most painful things for me and my friend knew it well, considered he placed his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him.

"I know all of this," he simply commented and then, we heard mom calling for us, saying dinner was ready. "I guess we better go and don't worry about your brother, talk some sense into him later and, if you want, we can do it together and I promise to keep as much calm as possible."

"Alright, let us see first how it goes during dinner," I said winking and he chuckled, following me outside the room and down the stairs, meeting Tommy right at their end. He froze on the spot and glared at us, especially at me, with an expression I never imagined seeing on his face.

"Tommy," I went to say, but he went away without saying a word, having quickly eyed Sasha with both fear and a sort of disgust that hurt me more than I could ever describe. "Thomas, stop right there," I called more decisively, and he tensed, halting and slowly turning around to look at me, then at my friend.

"What do you want?" He hissed out, somehow placing himself in a defensive stance and I was truly taken aback for a quick moment, but immediately recollected myself.

"Don't you even say hi to Sasha?" He snorted at my question and I felt my best friend stiffening right beside me, obviously annoyed at the way my brother was behaving with me and doing his best in keeping his almost non-existent patience at bay. "I have something to ask you about what happened the other week, so can we discuss it later?"

"That's none of your business and no need to say hi to your boyfriend, since I guess you were doing some weird stuff in your room, right?" My eyes widened at the venom in his voice and obvious disgust, not to mention at how they mortified me for saying such things right in front of Sasha, who chuckled not amused at all and took a step in front of Tommy.

"What did you say, Thomas?" He asked with hard and cold voice and my brother paled down. "Try to hurt and treat River with such little respect another time and we shall have a couple of words in private, just you and I, how would that feel?" I stepped beside and placed a hand on his arm, but I could see he was really trying his best to keep calm. "Apologize for what you just said," he ordered, and my brother remained silent, staring at the floor, seconds ticking away. "I am still waiting."

"What should I apologize for? You two are disgusting and..." I stopped him at once, not even sure how my face looked in that moment and of course, it had to change before stepping into kitchen and showing it to my parents. The last we needed now was a complete family discussion in front of Sasha, who was already conceding a lot of patience, not to mention real understanding. I definitely didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable and involved in this matter even more.

"What are you talking about? Sasha is my best friend and he has a boyfriend, Travis, whom you met already some time ago, hence do stop with this nonsense and see to apologize to him at once, because I don't tolerate you calling my friends disgusting or insinuating whatever you wrongly assumed. Take it out on me alone, but not on them, have I made myself clear?" I had let out more frustration than I intended, and it was evident on my brother's face, by how his eyes quickly reacted and widened, surprised I talked to him with such strict tone. But it was upsetting and hurtful, especially not understanding what was going on with him, my little and beloved brother.

I was terrified at the idea something bad might have happened to him and he was just coping or covering in some way, having chosen to rely on the wrong person. The idea had often left me in a state of pure dread, because if anything bad were to happen to my brother, I could be broken and I know I'd wish to do something extremely dangerous to whomever dared to hurt him. We had grown up so close and so affectionate, often studying together, him following my hockey practice and matches, sometimes joining me with my friends, playing with us when we met for some videogame evening. So, what had happened? I had to understand it and I had to make him rely on me, trust me once more, as he has always done.

"I don't need you to always care about me, because I'm not as perfect as you are, I'll never be the way mom wants me to be, exactly like you, another perfect River, do you understand me?" He challenged back and I felt cold slithering down my back. "And I'm not saying hi to you, Aleksandr, and who cares if you got some boyfriend or whatever the hell, he looked just..." I widened my eyes afraid of what he might utter wrongly about Travis, but his words died in his throat as he faced my friend's angered face.

"What were you about to say, Thomas Kelley?" I swallowed down and touched his arm, my brother taking a step back. "If you have something to say, spit it out at my face right now, or if you have something to say to River, do that, instead of getting whatever bullshit is going on in your mind." I exhaled relieved, as Sasha truly was doing his best to keep his temper under control, knowing my brother was behaving like that on purpose; but I was glad he didn't explode as Tommy stupidly went to hit at Sasha by trying to insult Travis.

I couldn't believe at the way he kept behaving and more fear took me, since I felt powerless and it was something I strongly hated with all myself.

"Dinner is ready," mom called from the kitchen and then, she stepped outside, quickly grasping at the current situation. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Tommy muttered, quickly walking away and mom looked at me, but I just shook my head.

"Nothing mom, really, we were just...talking," I said, forcing a smile on my face. She remained silent for a moment and then politely yet warmly greeted Sasha once more and her following words blocked me.

"Maybe he is in a bad mood because he received another bad mark in his latest test, even though I told him he should have asked you and that the school in which he is studying is not as difficult and severe as yours, in terms of scholastic curriculum." What was that? I blinked a couple of times and then, again, her following words blocked me another time. "Alex, I prepared your favourite for tonight and are you still seeing that...boyfriend of yours, forgive me, but what was his name?" She remembered his name alright, so why that question?

I eyed my friend and, either he didn't notice or pretend not to, since he just briskly smiled and replied that of course he was still together with Travis, thanking her for the dinner. No, to be correct, he said with his Travis, and I truly couldn't wait to call Nicholas, as Sasha might have been right in suggesting talking to him.

NICHOLAS POV:

I jogged on the beach after work, needing it let out the accumulated pressure and stress from the long week at the office, the challenges we faced and some problems that obviously came up at the last moment. Aaron was not around, spending some time with whoever of his friends, giving me the necessary break; I ran down the shore and inhaled the air smelling of the Ocean, music quietly playing in my ears. It was late evening and I loved the lights of city blending all around. My feet took me forward for another while, until I decided to go back home for a shower, and right when I stepped inside the apartment, my phone rang once.

I had received a message and it was from River, my lips tilting up automatically, having thought about him just a while ago. However, as I read the content of his message, I immediately called him.

"River?"

"Nicholas, sorry, am I maybe disturbing you?"

"Of course not, you never disturb me. Are you okay?" He hesitated on the other side of the line and I gave him some time, knowing it was not easy for him to openly ask for help. "You can tell me anything you feel like, I am here listening to you." Another pause, more hesitation, but then he spoke.

"It is about my brother," he said with a tone of voice I couldn't immediately interpret. "My younger brother, Tommy." Oh, I understood it then and the fact he called me to discussed whatever the problem was with his brother had the effect to both please me but as well greatly surprise me.

"I am here listening to you, River."

Author's chit-chat:

What are your first reactions, emotions, ideas, opinions, feelings after having read this new chapter? It seemed a pretty easy chapter, but it was not, trust me. Please let me know what you think, thanks!

We are seeing more into Aaron's very dangerous and twisted character, his true and perhaps not so true issues, the problems he causes to Nicholas and the possible problems he might still cause in the future.

Just as we are starting to slowly read more about Tommy and I wonder, what are your ideas or guessing about his issues? Did you expect what happened in the chapter? Also, we slowly, very slowly deepen into River's mind and heart, unravelling his hidden fears and worries, feelings he tries to always keep under control, just as his emotions.

I think Nicholas is quite the right match for him, seeing what happened here. Don't you agree?

Then, of course I had to write that River is keeping Nic updated about Jasper and Dima, and I will never cease to repeat how much I enjoy writing scenes in which they are all together, their jokes, funny moments and such. I cannot ignore them, because they are all vital characters and, through them, we can understand and see more of River. I think you understood this already.

Jasper and Dima are always sweet and cute to write, while Travis and Alexi are like fire, but I just love them.

Now, in CH.5 we will have River talking to Nicholas about his brother and let's see how that will happen, what more the chapter will bring to us. I am already working on it, so hopefully it will come out soon. Next weekend, if I can manage, I would love to post a new chapter of "The Princess & The Jerk", so stay tuned.

P.s. Who and why would be your ideal partner? As I repeated many time, Alexi would be my ideal and I absolutely love him.

For now, I wish you all a lovely Sunday and to stay healthy and safe!

Thank you for being such extraordinary readers 😊

Lots of Love, Magic, Hugs & Meows,
-TheWitchAndTheCat-