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• Chapter-1 •
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What is life?

What is the definition of it? Can anyone of us tell what is the definition of life?

The definition is unpredictable according to me. Yeah. You don't know what's stored in for you the next second. You don't know what's up to your life, where you are leading to, where your journey is going to hold.

My life is no different from any normal Indian girl.

I am a chef in a renowned restaurant.

I am earning quiet a money from that, around thirty thousand considering I only completed my bachelor's in hotel management.

I was eighteen when things got pretty messed up at my place and I was asked to choose something which are not my dreams. I always aspired to do Law but my background didn't help me much and I couldn't go for the studies it required and ended up choosing Hotel Management. I couldn't do my masters in it because my sister was being wedded then and the expenses were already too much from dad's side and I didn't want them to burden then much. Cause it takes around three lakhs to get into a good University or college.

I completed my studies from a university in Hyderabad. Thinking about University doesn't fails to bring the memories always. Don't they?

We used to bunk classes, chat with friends in canteen and make projects together which used to end up as a nought out with friends. Maggie being the best friend in the hostel and gossip about seniors being the favourite part time.

Those normal days then are now too precious to be called as normal because when we grow up, when we step out of the boundaries created by our parents and lecturers around us, we realise that being a student and kid is always good. Being with people is always good. Being with your love... Is always good.

I looked at Vikrant. Who is now laughing as he talked with the rest of chefs. By ex-boyfriend is my co-worker. And it's not just that. He is happily married with a woman more beautiful than me. And kids that I could have never given to him. Yeah, PCOS sucks. I have complications with being pregnant and me being a mom have less chances.

And this is something I recently got to know. That made me get more jealous of him.

We broke when we were last year. He completed his masters and again fell in love there with his wife and married her.

I don't exactly blame him for anything cause we couldn't give eachother time due to our own reasons and life happened to both of us. It took me many years to get over him to be honest.

I used to stay up late. Thinking about us, the dreams we dreamt and the promises of our empty words. The life I wanted with full of colours is now nothing but a blank paper and then when I came to know he moved on. One part of me was because he was happy and the other is broken thinking am I too easy to move on?

Is it too easy to move on from me and love someone like he loved me?

Is it too easy for him to love and live with someone that's not me?

Is it too easy for him to live the dream that we dreamt together without me in the picture?

I am jealous but I am. I am not angry but I am. I am not sad but I am. I am jealous because he have a life and I have a numbness. I am angry because he have the capability to move on in life and I don't. I am sad because he have someone to call his own and me? Huh! Don't even ask.

It hurts me. To go home and not actually feel the warmth of love from someone. It hurts for me to go home and cuddle with my pillow instead of my man.

At twenty nine years, I am not even searching for love. I am searching for companionship. I am searching for trust, loyalty and faith, I am searching for friendship and care. Iam searching for meaningful conversations, I am searching for nothing but something not so extraordinary but it can be considering what I want. It's hard to find such people.

It's not like my parents are not searching up for grooms. They are. More like they are on a hunt for grooms. But alas! My fate has other plans for me. Not even a single guy is of my taste. Or atleast respectable.

Some doesn't want to me work after wedding. Some after kids, some asked whether I was virgin.

And I am not! So what? Yeah I had sex! So what?

Some asked for dowry that would cost all four of our kidneys, that aka me, dad, mom and my brother.

Its too tiring to manage a life without any moral support. I have very less communication skills. I am more of an introverted person and only speaks when needed. Like very much needed. I don't go into conflicts and may be that's the reason most of the people doesn't acknowledge me.

Its a miracle how my introverted ass survived as a girlfriend to a most good looking guy of our batch. He used to be, now I don't know. I stopped admiring people. I stopped admiring men... And I don't admire the married. They are off the hook for me and I kinda gag when some women comments how hot a married man looked. Like bro- he is not available. And it's unethical in my point of view.

Once a person is married then they should be considered as off market. Even to view or comment about.

For example when you go to shopping, when you purchase a beautiful dress/shirt and someone keeps on staring at it and makes complements that the shirt is beautiful and keeps eyeing it like they would rip it off yours hands, you won't feel nice at all will you? I am sure many won't. Cause I won't!

Once someone is committed. They should be off limits for everyone. Again. My point of view. Yours might vary.

"Keerthi."

I heard someone.

By the way! That's my name :)

Keerthi Ahuja

29 years old working in Olive Greens Restaurant as Chef.

Meet my female main character!

This is a general fiction. Just Me trying to keep it as real as possible!

Hope you guys love this book.

Coming back to the update schedule, I will update this book once I am free from exams and stuff. I need a proper clarity. Just couldn't stop myself publishing! 🥲🥲

Love-Anya ❤️