Hadley had never felt this deflated.

Never felt this defeated.

Uriko gleefully frog-matched her to another unfinished section of The Caves, similar to the Council Room. The cavern walls here were roughly hewn as well and there was little in terms of décor or amenities. Hadley figured that these rough rooms were additions to The Caves by the Wildlings. Areas that weren't included in the original architecture, hence the lack of finesse.

It made her wonder about the people who actually built The Caves.

Unlike the Council room, however, this space had electric lighting. A deep yellow and extremely dim, the bulbs were connected to each other by a thin cable held up against the ceiling by metal tacks. Hadley counted seven small rooms in the space. Seven rooms with steel bars at the front. Uriko threw Hadley into one of the rooms and slid the bars shut.

"If it was up to me, I would have had you killed! You may somehow still be human, but only vampires heal like you! You're nothing but an abomination and you'll kill us all!" Uriko spat.

At that moment, Jamila was brought into the room. Unlike Hadley, she was giving her captors hell! It was taking three of them to bring her in and she wasn't making it easy. The Physical Arts program at the Compound was all about slow, docile movements that kept you healthy and fit, but like Hadley, Jamila had clearly figured out that some of those movements could cause quite an amount of pain with the right force added. Hadley smiled at the fact that every one of the men was sporting black eyes. Even now, with her hands bound, Jamila was still fighting, despite how futile it was.

"Quit playing and throw her in her cell!" Uriko ordered.

That's when Jamila saw Hadley and froze, giving the three Wildings the chance to finally subdue her and pin her to the ground.

"Hadley!" Jamila called out from the ground, speaking like this was something that happened to them every day. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Jay," Hadley said, pressing against the bars of her cell. "Are you?"

"Nothing I can't handle," she said with a smile before suddenly slipping out of their hold and giving the three Wildlings one hell of a fight.

She headbutted the one of them, breaking his nose, then stomped on his shin, breaking it at the ankle before kicking one of the other guys in the groin, then smashing his face with the bottom of her foot when he buckled, taking him down. And when the third guy rushed towards her, he received a heel kick to the sternum that sent him flying into the bars of one of the cells.

Hadley smiled, admiring her girl's perfect form and grace as she took down her captors. There was a reason Jamila had been made head trainer of Physical Arts after Hadley had gotten into trouble one too many times. What Hadley had never realised was that Jamila was as capable as Hadley was at modifying the benign Physical Arts exercise movements into truly violent moves. To be honest, it was a little strange watching the usually kind and gentle Jamila smash a man's face hard enough to draw out snotty blood. Hadley didn't know whether to be alarmed or proud.

There was a metallic swish as Uriko withdrew her sword and put the point up against Jamila's throat, drawing a pinprick of blood. Jamila froze again, but this time her eyes went wide with fear.

"Is this how you treat members of your tribe, Uriko?" Jamila asked. She narrowed her gaze at the woman and her voice didn't even shake.

"I'm not Kade," Uriko replied, her voice a menacing growl. "I won't fall for you and your lover's trickery. Now, get into the cell! Or don't. I don't mind slicing you up into little chunks for insubordination. The Council would understand. They might even reward me."

"Don't fight them Jamila," Hadley said.

Jamila looked at her uncertainly. "Hadley?"

"Get into the cell, Jay." Hadley insisted. "Please?"

"You should listen to your girlfriend." Uriko said with a wicked smile.

Jamila seemed to deflate, letting the three groaning Wildling men push her into the cell next to Hadley's.

"See you both very soon!" Uriko said, gracefully swishing and sinking her sword back into its scabbard.

As Uriko and the three other Wildlings left, another Wildling came in. The woman stood at seven feet tall, was built like a wall and had an impossibly stern look. She carried a bow in one hand, its full quiver on the same shoulder, and a chair in her other hand. She placed the chair down and the bow and quiver next to it, before taking a seat and bidding Uriko and the other Wildlings goodbye.

"Hadley?" Jamila called out from the adjacent cell. "What's going on?"

Hadley spoke into the space in front of her own cell. "Jamila? I'm sorry, we just have to..."

"Shut the fuck up!" the stern woman's voice boomed, reverberating across the small cavern. "This isn't a knitting club where you can gab and gossip and giggle like little girls. Shut up or I'll beat the shit out of you!"

She got up and walked to the front of Hadley's cell.

"You know what? Ignore that. You can keep chatting away if you like," she said, deceptively pleasant. She flexed her massive shoulders and cracked her knuckles. "I've been given the go ahead to keep you in line by force, if necessary, and I am itching for a reason! Uriko told me what you did! Your selfish ass doesn't know this, but one of the men your dogs killed was my brother-in-law! So, please, go ahead. Talk. Gab. Gossip. Give me a reason. Just one! And I don't give a fuck that you're pregnant! They tell me you're one of Barret Fisher's experiments. That you magically heal. That means I can go to town on you, and no one will ever be the wiser."

Hadley and Jamila stayed quiet after that.

*

She was a prisoner, yet again.

Seemed like it was the only thing Hadley knew how to be.

At least this time she was awake. And with Jamila for company.

For the next couple of weeks, the prisoners displayed nothing but complete compliance, observing total silence in the cells. Hadley spent her days going through the motions of her pregnancy yoga routine. It was taught to every girl at the Compound once they turned nineteen years old in preparation for pregnancy. It didn't just help with the aches and discomfort as her body shifted and transformed to accommodate her daughter, it also kept her mind occupied. Kept her from losing her sanity to the fact that she was trapped yet again, underground, further from her dream of freedom with her daughter than when she'd first started, all the way back at the Compound.

But she had to get over herself. This was never about her. It had always been about her daughter. Once her daughter was born, she would become a part of the Wildlings. Hadley would make sure of it. Her little girl would be free. She would belong to a tribe. She would find love. Have a daughter of her own. Grow older than forty-five. Brew mead and forge weapons.

And if it meant that Hadley had to stay away for that to be a possibility, she would.

"Get up!" the voice broke through Hadley's thoughts. It was the guard woman, and she was talking to Jamila. "It's shower time. Turn around and cross your wrists behind your back."

A few moments later, Hadley watched as two guards walked Jamila past her cell, her lover's hands bound behind her. Jamila smiled at her, the smile reaching her eyes. It warmed every part of Hadley.

The second guard walked back into the room and began to open Hadley's cell.

"It's your turn," she said. "Turn around and cross your wrists behind your back."

Hadley followed the instructions and was being walked to wherever the showers were when they met Jamila and the main guard walking back. On impulse, Hadley headbutted her guard and body checked the giant, dropping them both. They wouldn't stay down long, but it would be long enough.

Hadley walked over to Jamila and kissed her.

Jamila smiled into the kiss, and it was the best ten seconds they'd had in days, before the giant guard was back on her feet and tearing them apart.

The guard punched Hadley, breaking her lip. Hadley stumbled back, imbalanced by her wrists bound behind her and her pregnancy-caused shifting centre of gravity, but she caught herself and stood up tall to face the giant guard. Hadley grinned at the look of disgusted horror the guard was giving her as Hadley's tiny lip cut healed in real time. Hadley had watched her shredded feet heal a few times – it wasn't something you got used to.

"Totally worth it." Hadley said, chuckling.

"Yeah?" the guard taunted, turning to face Jamila. "Let's see if your girlfriend thinks so."

Hadley's blood ran cold at the threat. "Don't you dare!"

The guard dared, smacking Jamila across the face, hard enough to leave a handprint on that gorgeous golden skin.

"You shouldn't have done that." Hadley replied.

"Right back at you." The guard replied, forcing Hadley back to the cells without a shower. Jamila was led back behind Hadley by the other guard who'd finally gotten back to her feet.

It was a few days later when it happened.

Hadley watched from her cell as the large guard woman, napping as she usually did in the afternoons, shifted her body on the chair to get more comfortable. The chair suddenly snapped and fell apart underneath her! She fell with a startled yell! Bewildered, she got back on her feet and looked around the room, then back at the chair, then back around the room.

Her eyes finally fell on Hadley.

Hadley walked up to the bars of her cell, pushed her right hand past the bars, then slowly opened her closed fist, one finger at a time. One by one, seven of the chair's screws fell, clinking loudly against the stone floor.

"Don't you ever touch my girlfriend again." Hadley said.

*

Imprisonment was boring and lonely.

If it wasn't for that warm smile every time Jamila and the secondary guard walked past her cell to go to the showers – the main guard never escorted Jamila after the chair incident – Hadley would have lost her mind to the solitude.

However, for the first time in two weeks, someone came into the prison cave, and it wasn't the Wildlings who'd been bringing Hadley and Jamila's meals or Axel, who'd been tasked to monitor their physical wellbeing as Healer. This was someone new. Someone the prison guard really liked. Hadley sat up and watched from the corner of her cell, her brows hitting the ceiling when the man kissed their prison guard. It was deep and intimate and definitely a little too much for company.

"Hello, love," the man said. He was a head shorter than the prison guard and smaller in statue, but most people in the world probably were. "The Wedding is about to start. You can't spend our anniversary here!"

The guard smiled. It was scary, but somehow pleasant at the same time. Hadley was beyond intrigued. She shifted and got more comfortable, watching as the two continued to chat.

"I need to stay to keep my eye on them," the guard explained.

The man turned to the cells. "They're not going anywhere."

The guard looked up at Hadley. Her face was stoic as she stared for a really long time. Hadley knew exactly what was running through the woman's head.

The chair incident.

No lock was keeping Hadley in that cell.

The guard woman finally stood up, picked up her bow and arrows and left with the man.

"I didn't think she'd ever leave," Jamila said. "What do you think this 'Wedding' is? Must be something big if it got her to leave."

"It's one of the most important events for the Wildlings," Hadley said. "Brielle explained it to me."

"Brielle, huh?" Jamila said, all coy.

"Eww... It's not like that! We apparently belong to the same family too, like my mother and Aunt Zee, which makes that extra gross," Hadley replied, chuckling. "Besides, I think she has a thing for Kade. That they have a thing for each other. But for some reason, they don't want to do anything about it."

Jamila stayed silent for a bit before she spoke up again.

"Back at the Compound, we only had twenty-five guaranteed years," Jamila finally said. "Life was short. There wasn't time to stew. You had to do, or not do. Nothing in between. It's not the same here. Here, they grow old. They have time."

Hadley thought about that for a moment.

"Is that why you didn't tell me what was bothering you?" Hadley asked. "Because we now have time to stew?"

Jamila sighed. "All you talked about for months is how you and I would raise our daughters together. I couldn't... I didn't know how to tell you that I wasn't pregnant. That there was something wrong with my body. That I wasn't going to be having a daughter with you, my best friend and my lover, and that I didn't know what I could do to fix that."

Hadley didn't speak for a while, struggling to find the words that could express the depth of feelings that she was experiencing. She was still getting used to having emotions, and sometimes words just didn't feel adequate enough to describe them at all.

"Jamila, I don't like the idea of raising our children with you more than I like you. I don't even have the words to describe what I feel for you. Every turn of phrase that I run through my mind just sounds laughably insufficient! But until I can find new words that fit, I'm just going to have to work with, 'I love you'. I love you more than I will ever know how to express. And I don't mind that you're not pregnant." Hadley finally said. She sighed. "I also don't mind that you like Ruq. We've always been open to the idea that we can like other people. I just feel stupid for not realising it earlier. When did you... how did it... I mean, you two...?"

Hadley didn't know how to ask what she wanted to without sounding like a jealous nagging hag, and that was the last thing she wanted to sound like, even though there was a little truth in it, despite what she'd just said about their relationship.

Jamila spared her the awkwardness.

"Well, she's not unattractive and there's quite a bit of charm to her. And I admit, the power and control she oozes without effort caught my attention from the start. I didn't think I'd find anyone else as confident about who they were as you," Jamila said, chuckling. Hadley laughed. Ruq definitely had the charm and confidence to sweep anyone off their feet that she wanted to. "But if I was to pick a moment where I knew I was crushing hard, it would be the day when we celebrated Conception Day."

Hadley settled back more comfortably on her cot and listened, smiling at how tentative, uncertain and nervous, yet eager to share Jamila sounded. Hadley was almost giddy, knowing that Jamila wanted to share this with her.

"I wasn't pregnant, but I didn't know how to tell you, and the other girls were just so happy and I didn't want them pitying me, so I reached out to Ruq. She listened. She let me rant and break down and she never once judged me or pitied me or told me I was broken. She just held me and told me I was perfect and that my time would come." Jamila said. "After that, we kept talking. Then, when the Scavengers attacked, and I failed to protect you... when they took you... I was devastated... I'd failed and... well, Ruq was there. She'd left at Kade's insistence, but she came back when the Scavengers attacked... she was too late to save you, but she helped me survive your abduction. She had to leave again not too long after that, and it was then, having lost both of you, that I knew... I needed you two in my life in a way that... well, let's just say, everything sort of felt pointless without you both..."

Jamila went silent, letting the last words trail off.

Then her head snapped up to face the bars of her cell, where Hadley was standing outside an open door.

"I'm so sorry, Jay," Hadley said, knowing the words couldn't hold a candle to showing Jamila how she was feeling. She walked into Jamila's cell and embraced the golden beauty, revelling in her scent and feel. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to..."

Jamila cut her off.

"You need to get back to your cell, Lee," Jamila whispered, but even though she pulled away from the hug, she cupped Hadley's cheeks and gently kissed her.

Hadley let her hands trail down Jamila's body, loving every curve, edge, and crevice. Jamila finally pushed her away with a sigh.

"Please Hadley," Jamila pleaded. "They'll separate us if they find you. And I can't bear that thought."

Hadley nodded, gave her a quick peck on the lips and went back into her cell, locking the doors behind her. She collapsed against the wall that separated her cell from Jamila's, tears stinging her eyes. She hated this with every fibre of her being, but she would play this charade as long as she needed to if it kept protecting her people and gave her daughter a chance at a good life.

"Tell me about the event? The Wedding?" Jamila said, the questions interjected by a sniff and her voice a little shaky.

Hadley hung her head. She had taken for granted so much of the time she'd had with Jamila by her side these last few weeks...

No one wins the 'If only...' game.

Hadley was learning not to let herself drown in thoughts of a past she couldn't change.

"The Wedding is supposed to be a really big deal." Hadley said, smiling at Gram Lee's words playing in her mind, helping her get through this even now. "Every Wildling tribe comes back to the Caves to celebrate it during the summer equinox. The Wildling Council selects and pairs up compatible couples, and these couples wear their best clothes and pick the best flowers, and everyone makes the best food and plays the best music, and the couples vow their undying love to one another forever. Then they mark the occasion so that everyone knows."

"That honestly sounds like fun." Jamila said with a sigh. "How do they mark the occasion?"

"With rings," Hadley answered. "Sometimes the rings are passed down from parents or grandparents, but sometimes you make one for your partner."

"It's so elaborate. Nothing like that ever happened at the Compound." Jamila pointed out pensively. "Couples at the Compound just... were. You know? And most times, shifting fluidly between different partners."

"Yeah."

They stayed silent for a while.

"I was going to ask you to go with me to the Wedding," Hadley eventually said.

"You were?" Jamila asked, sounding surprised.

"I was," Hadley confirmed. "Would you have agreed to come?"

"I don't have a ring," Jamila said.

"I made one."

"For me?"

"Yeah," Hadley said. "And one for me too. They match."

"In that case," Jamila said, the smile clear in her voice. "Yes, I'd have come with you."

Hadley chuckled.

"Do you have them with you? The rings?" Jamila asked.

Hadley didn't immediately respond.

"Do you really like Ruq?" Hadley asked.

Jamila hesitated for a moment, but she finally answered.

"I do," she said. "I haven't told her or anything, but if I see her again, I will. Because, no matter what the Wildlings think, life is short, and everything can change in an instant, like losing those we love."

"And us? You and me?" Hadley asked.

Jamila laughed.

"Remember our second initiation ceremony at thirteen? When all the girls in our Cohort had started their period, except for me? You pretended you hadn't started either, even though everyone knew that you had. You did that so they wouldn't make fun of me. And they didn't. Because they'd have to make fun of you too, daughter to the most feared Elder, Aadya." Jamila said, chuckling. "I think that was the first time I realised I was in love with you, Hadley. And I've been in love with you ever since. I'll always be in love with you."

Tears fell down Hadley's cheeks. It killed her to know that she was losing her chance to show Jamila just how much she had changed from the Compound. To finally treat her right.

To properly love her!

And besides the frustration, Hadley's new emotions bred another scary thought. She didn't understand what was going on with her. Why her capability to feel was now fully restored. She didn't know if it was permanent or if it would disappear just as fast as it had appeared, and she'd once again lose the chance to love Jamila as she deserved to be loved while they were still stuck in these stupid cells! It frightened her more than she cared to admit.

But there was one person who'd know exactly what was happening to her.

The one who'd made her like this!

"Jamila, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"The Healer you were talking to that day at the farms? Anette?" Hadley asked. "Can you tell me more about her?"

"There's not much to tell, really. She's a Healer, like how you're a Medic." Jamila said. "She reminded me a lot of you, actually."

The comparison stung. Hadley would never sedate and imprison anyone and then take experimental liberties with their unconscious body! But Jamila still didn't know that any of this had happened to Hadley in the hands of that "Healer", so Hadley would let it slide this one time.

"I think she's working with the Scavengers." Hadley said. She didn't want any more secrets between them. "When I was abducted, I woke up to find her with me in a small underground clinic. She sedated me. I was semi-conscious for weeks. And I think she did something to me when I was under. I think she changed my body somehow."

"What do you mean?"

"For starters, I can heal really fast now." Hadley tried to explain.

"Right, I noticed that." Jamila replied. "And you think Anette did that to you?"

Hadley told Jamila about the underground clinic. About her little talk with Anette before the woman tricked her. About Drew accidentally pulling out the sedative IV and waking her up, then helping her escape that hell. About her, Drew and Brownie walking around the rainforest for weeks before finally finding Brielle and her Tribe, including the encounter with the three vampire dogs and their vampire master. About how her shredded bare feet would heal after a day of hiking and how she never got too hot or too cold. How her body was different.

Her mind as well.

She told Jamila everything about her mind. She told her about "disconnecting" and how it had pushed her to find the Wildlings. She even talked about her connection with Ruq and how it created the bad blood between her and the vampire, when Ruq used the link to push Venom into her mind, which completed her disconnection and stole from her the hope to feel anything for her daughter. And finally, she described waking up in that underground clinic feeling every emotion in its totality.

Hadley didn't know why she hadn't opened up about this before. It felt great to get it off her chest and share the burden with someone who cared for her.

"How is that possible? How did Anette do it?" Jamila wondered.

"I don't know how or even why she did it. But I do know that she sold me out to Uriko and the Council and that it's her fault we're in here." Hadley said. "I don't think she knew that I was at The Caves, and she panicked when she saw me. She probably thought I'd tell Kade about her, which I totally would have. The Council was right to be worried about Scavengers having infiltrated the Caves. They're just wrong about it being us."

"If that's true, why didn't you tell the Council about her?" Jamila wondered. "You could have avoided all of this?"

Hadley sighed. "Because they threatened you. They said they would banish you and the others from The Caves. I couldn't let them do that. There's nowhere safe out there."

"I wish you didn't have to keep making choices like that all alone. You should have told me all of this earlier! Maybe I could have been able to help!" Jamila said, sounding a little upset. Then she sighed, her voice softening. "I wish that you'd let me help you, Lee."

"Jay, I would have never been able to get through any of this without you!" Hadley replied. "You help me more than you know and there will never be a way I could repay you for everything you do and for how much better my life is with you in it."

A noise interrupted them, and they went silent.

The guard and her partner walked into the cavern, talking and laughing. They ignored Hadley and Jamila as the guard tested her chair and then settled down at her post. The man stayed for a while then left his partner to continue with her guard duty.

Hadleystood up and went to her cot, laying down and running back the wholeconversation she'd just had with Jamila, holding tightly to the pleasant feelingsborne from it.