BREAK THE WALLS

"...up! darling, wake up!" you felt your body being shaken vigorously. your eyes snapped opened, seeing your boyfriend, jung hoseok on top of you, looking all worried. as if the memory before you went for nap came like a bullet train, you realised you were laying on the couch in the living room.

you were doing house chores the whole day, because that is what you love to do almost every day off from the pre-school, waiting for your boyfriend, to come home from work. you felt your body aching and you decided to relax and take a nap on the couch. instead of a nap, you didn't realised it was already evening. you were brought out from your trance as your eyes were locked into hoseok's eyes.

jerking up from the couch, with your body still shaking, hoseok was accidentally pushed, making him fall off from the couch, giving out a loud thud. "i- i'm sorry." you said, giving him a weak smile. you scooted nearer to the couch's arm rest, while giving hoseok some space for him to sit next to you. he got up from the floor, and immediately went seated. as soon as he was seated comfortably next to you, you couldn't help moving a little further from him. there is a part within you, feeling uncomfortable when the side of your thigh touched slightly with his, probably from the dream you were having prior.

"are you okay? do you want to tell me what happened?" he asked softly, not wanting to scare you. soon, you felt your chest tightens, and your breath was cut shortness. tears were brimming in your eyes. you did not realised when did your boyfriend went to the kitchen and had gotten you a glass of water. the only thing you know, his hand was behind your neck, while another was holding to a glass, aiding you to drink.

"take a deep breath, my darling. it's me, hoseokie." he curved his lips upwards, while sadness and worry was flashed in his eyes. you felt relieved when you heard his name, and his soothing voice. silence enveloped both of you, for a few minutes.

feeling calm and your breathing went rhythmic, you took a glance towards hoseok. "i dreamt about that day, again. i don't feel good today."

"don't worry about it darling." he said, pulling you into his embrace, comforting you. "the guy is better off in prison, he wouldn't harm you anymore, and i am here always, for you. remember what i told you before, take things slowly, fight off your demon. he is no longer wandering around the streets. you are safe now."

hoseok was the one who saved you from your deep pit of the darkness. he was the only person who was able to break the walls that you've built up, from that one dark fateful night, two years ago, when two robbers came into your house. you sobbed uncontrollably against his chest, wetting his shirt. "they were there...on top... slapping me, tying me, ripping off...everything... i am sorry that i've lost.." your voice came out muffled.

"shh... no more, my darling, no more. you are okay now. i am sorry i was late at that time. i wasn't able to protect you." you felt his hands rubbed against your back. guilt too was evident on his face. "do you want me to run you a bath? maybe we could get ready for our date tonight?" you nodded. he gestured you to stand up and the next thing you knew, he carried you bridal style to the bedroom.

he placed you on the bed, gently. his eyes darkened filled with lust. he began smashing his lips against your. you felt a jolt of electricity surged through your spine, your stomach turmoiled into a tingling sensation. you felt giddy as you enjoyed his kisses, fighting for dominance. his hand were gliding underneath your shirt and began roaming around your waist to the stomach, and his way up to your chest. all you see was red, and began pushing him away from you. truth to be told, this was not your first time building a wall, whenever you had a makeout session with your boyfriend. he frowned looking at you. he gave you a weak look.

"GET OFF FROM ME!" you shouted.

"i can't do this! you are making this invisible boundary between us! how much longer shall i wait? i know you are mad at yourself, don't think, that i don't blame myself? for not protecting you that night? i have suffered six months, waiting for you to talk to me, open up to me. i thought we were making progress. i told you, they are better off rotten in the prison. you are safe now, with me. how can i make way in your heart, when you barely let yourself into your heart? i can't deal with this, we need space and time away from each other. you are off alone now!" he got up from the bed, and walked to the bedroom door, slouching.

you admitted, hoseok was the only one who knows how to make his way into your heart. you love the way, he takes things slowly, consoling you. after that night, two years ago, you were diagnosed with chiraptophobia. a slight touch from a male, would caused you to be nauseous and shortness of breath. you even turned down from facing your own boyfriend, hoseok, himself.

it was hard for you to socialise, you chose to stay home, instead of enjoying life outside. you would always keep your head low, whenever you went outside. you preferred sweaters, baggy shirt and long coats. for the first two months, you wouldn't talk to anybody except to your therapist, who is also hoseok's sister. she has helped you to gain yourself.

it took roughly six tough months for you to recover slightly from the phobia you are facing from. therapies over therapies. not completely, but hoseok was grateful, you were opened to him, wanting to see and talk to him. slight touch was okay between you two. your touches were restricted to holding hands, and hugs, you weren't able to taking it to another level.

hoseok told you to trust him and take things slow. above all, after everything that had happened, he still loves you. realising what he did was all for you, screamed his name, making him stop from opening up the bedroom door.

"i am sorry. i was selfish. you were patient. you took care of me all these years, without complaining, while all i did was to blame myself, for not being able to protect myself that night and most importantly losing our baby." you looked down, fidgeting with your fingers, while your toes were curling. realising there was not response or a slight sound coming from him, you took a look at him and took the courage to walk over to him.

you took his hands and gestured it to the hem of your shirt. he looked at you in the eyes, and you nodded. you guided his hands to pull over the shirt from your body, leaving you in your undergarment. leaving your shirt lying on the ground, you took his hands and place them on your bared waist. you closed you eyes, enchanting yourself to get comfortable with his touch. you repeatedly tells yourself it is your fiance. opening up your eyes, you looked at hoseok. you wrapped your hands around his neck and start kissing him. one thing led to another, you were on the bed, with him hovering you, grazing your jaw with his teeth.

you were enjoying every bits of the kisses when he stopped. pulling himself away from you, dropping his body beside you. his warm body were replaced by the cold air. you were confused by his action. you frowned, while looking at the ceiling.

am i dirty enough?

am i not good enough?

your lips quivered, controlling yourself from crying. you gathered yourself, and got up from the bed. all you wanted to do was to lock yourself in the bathroom. while getting up, your wrist was pulled making your body dropped on the bed. two arms were circling around your waist, and hoseok was spooning you. kissing your shoulders he said, "one step at the time, okay? i know you aren't 100 percent comfortable with it, but someday you will. we'll take it slow okay?"

what did i do to derserve a man like this?

"i love you, hoseok honey. i truly love you, and i never had the chance to thank you, for saving me. give me a chance to make it up to you."

"you can make it up to me, only by being Mrs Jung!"

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a/n: idk nan meolla, i am sad while writing and reading this. hope you love it!

requested by: user89406074

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