| Chapter Two | The Recording Distraction

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"Masking our true feelings don't get rid of them, just makes them harder to control when the masks are gone."
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Seán stopped recording, he smiled a bit to himself. He's gotten four recordings done so far and is pretty proud of himself for getting it done. While one of them was during Mark's livestream and the game they all played, it didn't matter to him. He has four videos for Robin to edit now. For which he then packs everything he'll need in one file per recording and then sends it off to Robin. He leans back in his seat. 'I got a lot done today for once.' He thought. He stared at his computer screen, losing his smile slowly, feeling his energy going down. 'No....no. It's returning.' He thought. He didn't take a break between recordings since now the recordings are now able to push away his sadness and doubts. But now that he's done.....his swallowed negative emotions are coming back and he doesn't like it. He lets out a shaky breath, he looks at his computer. 'There's no harm in recording some more I guess.' He thought.

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After about a few hours, Seán was still recording. He knew he shouldn't be but he rather has a distraction then face his emotions. He was scrolling through the comments, picking out some for a comment video, his chin rested in his hand, he was regretting starting this search. Though hard to find, he always finds the hate comments, and for some reason, they are really getting to him. He eventually stops feeling his eyes watering. He looks down at his keyboard, his eyes look at the time, 3 am.

He looked back down at the keyboard. His hand balled into a fist and slammed on the table, making everything shake and he covers his eyes with his hand, tears trailing down his cheeks. 'Why...why am I doing this to myself?' He thought. Hate comments don't usually get to him at all, sure they would hurt but he...he always had Signe to cheer him up. But now he doesn't. He takes off his headphones, sitting them on the desk. He gets up from the chair, his arms around himself as his stomach growls. He goes to his bed, laying down on it feeling hungry pains coming making him wince. 'Why...Why?! Why are they...They aren't right, they aren't right!' Seán thought to himself, trying to convince himself.

He squeezed his eyes shut, covering his ears, trying to stop himself from crying. His stomach growled again, pain stinging from his empty belly. Food isn't really important to him anymore, he's basically forgotten about eating entirely which is why his kitchen is such a mess. The only thing he ever gets it a glass of water, which explains the dirty dishes in the sink, need to be washed but just pile up, forgotten about. He eventually gave up trying to stop himself and let his emotions go, crying, whimpering, panting heavily. Sure he felt better but he just felt worse. Soon he passed out curled up on top of the covers, and he was awoken from hearing his phone going off in his office. He opened his eyes, not really feeling the energy to get up...nor did he care who was texting him...but the noise was starting to irritate him. He sat up, groaning. He gets out of bed, his feet dragging on the floor as he went to his office, picking up his phone and looking at the messages. Twitter, texts, and missed calls, he sits in his chair, getting on his computer and seeing that Mark is online. He slips on his headphones, Mark picking up and appearing on the screen.

"Hey, Jack. What's up, man?" Mark asked. Seán at first didn't answer, his eyes weren't looking at the screen.

"Stuff." He mumbled. Mark looked at him. His eyes inspected him, he was slouching and looked really tired and rough. Mark bit his bottom lip back.

"Jack, Amy and I can come to visit you and--" Seán looked at him.

"Can I go over there?" He asked. Mark stepped back, not expecting the question, but he nodded.

"Yeah, but I thought you didn't want to go to Vidcon. It is in California this year--" Seán shook his head, looking down at his lap, he let out a shaky breath.

"No...I just need to get away from...all this for a while...away from England. Away from memories of her." Seán said. Mark stared at him for a few moments.

"You sure?" He asked. Seán nods, Mark then smiles a bit. "Then, of course, you can, my place has guest rooms. You can come live with me--" Seán chuckles.

"And that's how fanfiction starts, Mark," Seán said smiling. Mark does a well.

"Well if you have a dirty mind it does," Mark said. Seán looks at him, smiling.

"And we both do, that's how septicplier started," Seán said making Mark laugh and Seán smile.

"Well, you can live with Amy and I. I'm not banishing you to some hotel when we have plenty of room," Mark said. Seán loses his smile, his thoughts cloudy him, he looked away.

"Actually...maybe that isn't a good idea. I don't want to bring you guys down—" Mark loses his smile.

"Hey, don't talk like that. You don't bring us down, I'll be glad to have you come to stay for a while. I haven't seen you in person in a really long time. So I don't mind, and neither will Amy. But I only ask one thing of you." He said. Seán looked at him.

"What?"

"Don't hide your feelings from us, if you're upset, don't hide it. I want you to come over here to get better...to get back to your old self again. So just be yourself, leave your masks behind. Can you do that for me?" Mark asked making Seán smile, he nods.

"Y-Yeah," Seán said. Mark smiled.

"Good, so when do want to come fly over?" He asked.

"As soon as possible." Seán said.

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