• This is a rap I wrote a few nights back. The rhymes are awful, and it's not going to make much sense until you channel your inner rapper(lol). •

They say that life is a journey,
well these are my common days,
I -
wake up every morning and I go stare at my tired face,

I see my dad glaring at me,
reminding me of horror,
Remind me that any day he could show up,
- he could be here tomorrow,

I shower and shave, I move on, I behave,
Try not to think about
back when snorting drugs was my game,

- Back in the days where I'd come home to a dirty flat,
To place where my addiction met you at the doormat,

Now my girl stands ready in our apartment,
to ask me about my days,
I tell her,
all I could think about was coming home to see her face,
Silently thinking if one day,
I will be missing her embrace,

I come home, I crash,
I sleep and I eat,
I crawl on top my girl,
and I satisfy my need,

And as she moans loudly and comes around my cock,
I realize this girl in my arms, is my sole savior,
my rock,

I wake up again, and then I sit and write,
Until the soul release the words and my world turn more bright,

The cluster, the fuck,
The endless thoughts in my head,
I fear they'll never stop until I'm lying down dead,

They fill me, but they empty me,
they make me feel hollow,
Yet I continue to eat them raw,
chew them,
and swallow,

A blank page becomes a word, a word becomes a book,
The book becomes the proof of every emotional bullet I took,

Maybe one day my dad will read them, understand the damage he did,
And see his kid has risen above, survived every hit,

Every punch every kick,
every bruise every scrape,
Every memory of when he witnessed
his own mother's damn
rape,

The clock strikes eleven
and I'm hard at work again,
Standing outside a club with people
waiting to be let in,

A scream of horror,
the sound of smashing glass and -
I whirl in, I break through,
Start
beating the jackass,

At day I teach kids, at night I lecture men,
Show them how to behave when he's stand next to a
woman,

And then I head home, crawl into bed next to my own,
Tell her 'baby, I love you', kiss her soft on her cheekbone,

I lay awake and wait for sleep to come and attack me,
Yet all that ever comes are my demons, they consume me,

They feed on the darkness, not in the room, but in my heart,
They manifest pictures of my past, present them like horrid art

I wait for Sunday, for church to chime me back with its charm,
And pray that by then,
I haven't shoved a needle up my arm,

These are my days, I wake up and hit repeat,
And await the damn day where my good soul declares defeat,

The beast inside me,
it's only pure evil,
When he speaks to me, he tells me that his brother is the
devil,

That I'm doomed, that the thoughts that turn me on will forever rage within me,
consume me with hate,
Until I stand ready and proud,
to walk through hell's burning gates,

I fall on my knees before God, beg him to forgive me my sin,
Oh please dear God, make my cravings stop, just let me in,

But that's not how it works, He doesn't forgive the same sin fifty times,
Even if I shout them out in these fucking useless rhymes,

Take no pity, I chose this on myself,
I am who I am,
no amount of repenting will help,

I'll make the best of life,
I'll live, I'll love, I'll laugh,
And to anyone reading,
- that's enough on my behalf.