“Seungwan…”

“Hm?”

“Wannie…” Yoongi buries his nose in the crook of her neck, finding her ticklish spot before tracing it down her naked shoulder as they lay beside each other in bed. “The company finally accepted me,” he whispers against her skin.

Seungwan’s eyes widened at that and she immediately moved back a bit, softly shoving Yoongi away for her to see him clearly. “No way,” she utters in shock.

“Did I sound like I was joking?” He asks, a smirk playing about his face. He moves closer to rest his head on her again.

“Oh, my God, Yoongi, that's great!” She exclaims, bringing her arms up to wrap them around him. Yoongi gasps a bit just when his girlfriend suddenly lands on top, trapping him under her tight embrace. He starts to heartily laugh out loud and wraps his arms around her waist. “I’m so excited for you!”

“Really?” He smirks up at her. "You don't look excited to me."

Seungwan laughs softly as she leans close, purposely fanning her breath over his lips. "Of course, I am. How do you want me to show you?"

"...You would know the answer to that."

“Are you sure that he’s okay by himself there?”

“Hanwool loves the sand,” Seungwan replies softly, a hint of a smile on her face as she continues to gaze at Hanwool playing by himself in the sand, making small sandcastles with his colorful toy plastic cups of different sizes. She first had to ask permission from Hanwool if Mister Yoongi could stay with her first since they needed to talk about grown-up stuff. Thankfully, Hanwool understood.

“Just for a few minutes, Umma, okay?”

He made sure that his mother would keep her promise before heading back to the area where he started making sandcastles.

Yoongi couldn’t keep his eyes away from him, his son.

It seems surreal. He has a son. He never thought that he would be a father at this age. Not that he minds, though. Despite being cold to other people, the thought of having a child has been one that he has harbored for some time. If there was one person he would undoubtedly shower his unconditional love on, it would be his future child.

This dream of his has apparently become a reality.

There is a part of him that's thankful that the mother of his child is someone he trusts as well. Even if he did berate her earlier today, he can't hate Seungwan. Yoongi is clearly aware of that. He just feels…betrayed. Ridiculed. Disappointed.

One question can't stop bothering him.

Why now?

Why was he never told of the existence of his son? Was there something about him that made Seungwan decide not to tell him immediately?

"He's the smartest in his class, you know," Seungwan utters, smiling as she continues to watch Hanwool make sandcastles. "While the rest of his classmates are still playing with wooden blocks, he enjoys solving simple addition items. I never forced him to start answering those. He actually asked his teacher if she can teach him math already."

This makes Yoongi grin. "I'm not surprised that he's the smartest. He has a nerd for a mother."

Seungwan breathes out a soft laugh. "I told you that I never forced him."

"Yeah, yeah, say what you want me to believe," he scoffs in a teasing manner.

"Five years and nothing has changed about you," Seungwan says without a second thought and it makes Yoongi lose the grin on his face. He sets his lips into a tight line and they both go silent again.

Yoongi then asks in a voice above a whisper, “Was it difficult?” Giving birth to him all alone? Raising him all this time alone?

“...It was worth it.” There was a bit of hesitancy when she answered.

What kind of answer was that? "Wan…" Yoongi whispers tenderly, moving his head to the side to look straight into her eyes.

"I haven't heard that nickname in a long time."

"W-Wan," he repeated, his lips quivering and his voice wavering. He is on the brink of tears again. He blames himself for letting her go through all those things alone. No one deserves to be alone in such difficult times even if the results are worth it.

Seungwan immediately scoots close to him and cradles his face between her hands. She watches a few tears fall down his face. "I know what you're thinking and I'll keep on repeating it whether you like it or not. It was mutual, our break up." She swipes her thumbs on his cheeks, wiping away the tears that have now left his eyes. "That's why I don't want to see you cry."

She always knew what was up with him. Most of the time, she never failed. It was Yoongi who was unable to sense her at times.

"Yoongi, do you hate me for keeping him from you?"

He instantly shakes his head. "I'm disappointed, but I can never hate you."

"Oh, God, Yoongi, you can't be like this. You have every right to hate me-"

"How can I hate you when you've been nothing but kind to me even before we started loving each other? I can be mad at you, yes, but hating you would be something stupid of me to do."

"But Hanwool-"

"Has clearly been raised well. I just wish you didn't have to do it alone."

"...Things just don't work the way we want them to," Seungwan murmurs woefully.

"Don't blame this all on fate now, Wan. We know that we could have done something about it together."

She furrowed her eyebrows at him. "You mean to take you away from your dream job?"

"Yes," he answers without any hesitation.

Seungwan drops her hands to her lap in disbelief. "You know that would have never happened, Yoongi. I know how hard you worked to get the job you've always wanted-"

"But you matter more, Seungwan."

"This is why I asked for the breakup," she suddenly confessed. "This is why I forced myself to try and pursue higher studies because if I just stayed the same, you would have never left me to pursue your dreams."

"Why are you saying this in a way that makes me sound like I'm a selfish person? A bad person?"

"I'm not making you a bad person. I'm saying this because it's real. You can say that I matter more now because you're living a more stable life already. What would happen if this conversation was five years ago? Would you have been as willing as now to leave your job to be with me?"

—---------

Even if it's been five years since he last lit a cigarette, it still felt like second nature to him as he flicked the lighter to spark and create a flame. He inhales the lit cigarette, feeling the minty nicotine go down his throat before blowing it out.

What a calming yet deadly sensation. Absolutely addicting.

But he stopped that addiction. He stopped it because Seungwan asked him to do so, and he did. Why? Simply because he loves her very much.

To hell with those five years of being clean, though. He wants to finish a pack fast.

With every huff, he cursed every year he missed being with Seungwan and Hanwool.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five…

"Five is not enough," he grumbles, the cigarette between his lips. Bitterly, he repeats, "Five is not fucking enough." He throws to the ground the short stub of a cigarette left and stomps on it before lighting another one.

Holding the new cigarette between his fingers, they start to shake slowly. His breathing becomes jarred and heavy, and he drops to the ground. He lets out a loud sob and allows himself to be overcome with tears - an endless amount of them.

Is there any way for him to go back in time? Is there any way for him to erase this deadly feeling of regret and longing despair?

He can't blame Seungwan. He can't blame himself. He can't blame their stupid and idiotic young selves who were deeply in love with one another.

He can only blame time for stealing such precious moments from him.

The sudden ringing of his phone breaks him from his train of thought and he groans softly as he takes it out of his pocket.

He does not bother to check the caller I.D. before swiping the phone icon to the right and placing the phone by his ear.

"Hyung!" The voice bellows excitedly and Yoongi pulls the phone away from his ear. He squints his face in annoyance as he feels that whoever's on the other line already destroyed his eardrum. And he knows who the person is.

"Aish, Jimin," Yoongi mutters. "What do you want?"

"We're all here at my place right now! Say hi!"

A chorus of different greetings aside from 'Hi' is said and Yoongi could immediately tell that the six are on the same call. He wipes his hand down his face and leans against the wall behind him. A person exits through the door of the convenience store where he bought the cigarettes and he faces the other way. "Hey, guys," he weakly says into the phone.

"Yah, you alright?" Hoseok asks immediately. "You sound tired."

"You're not enjoying your break there, hyung?" Taehyung asks. "We suggested you go to that place because it's really relaxing there-"

"You," Yoongi cuts him off sharply. "You guys chose this place because you knew, didn't you?"

"Huh?"

"You all knew, didn't you?" His voice was on the verge of shouting. He threw his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it. "You knew that Seungwan moved here. You knew that Hanwool was here," his voice gets caught in his throat and he chokes down a sob. Bringing a closed fist to his mouth, he bites it to stop himself from breaking down into uncontrollable sobs.

"Hyung…" He heard Jungkook whisper in regret.

"It's time we tell him," Namjoon murmurs and Jin hums softly in agreement.

“I…I knew it,” Yoongi cries out softly. Bitter tears roll heavily down his face.

“Hyung, Seungwan-noona told us to never tell you,” Jimin starts to explain in a gentle manner. The guys felt nothing but pity for their friend. “Throughout these years we would try to tell you, but we never wanted to be blunt about it. In the first place, it’s never our story to tell.”

“Thus you guys just wanted to tell indirectly?”

“Yes…” Jimin whispers. “For years we’ve been telling you to visit that place during your breaks. We all wanted you to know,” His voice breaks, “W-We did not like keeping it from you.”

Yoongi wanted to throw his phone to the ground. In the end, he thought, it’s still my fault. Everything was laid out for me to find out, but I was too caught up in my own self-worth that I never noticed anything.

This made him recall what Seungwan asked him back at the beach. Would he have left his dream job years ago if he found out about Hanwool?

There is so much he has to do for Seungwan. For Hanwool. Yet there is so little time left. His break is almost ending.

And Yoongi is aware that when he goes back to the city, his life will never be the same.

He can’t turn back time, but in some way or another he can make up for what he lost.

In great timing, he hears Taehyung say, “Hyung, it’s not too late to spend time with your family. Just because you missed five years, it doesn’t mean that you can’t make new memories with them anymore…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm back with working on this short story ♡ I hope you liked this chapter!

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