Though she's scared of her own darkness, Camille is more afraid to keep on dragging Adam down to her misery. Dragging him to the point where he'll be crushed beyond help. Now she can do it, there's still time for him. He's young and can heal his heart quickly. The only thing she can do to save him is to let go. He, her first love, the one she thought, she couldn't live without. Tears sophisticate her eyes but they won't stop.

"What are you saying?" Adam tastes the bitterness of every word Camille has said.

Confused by her action, her forces the tears back. A lump blocks his windpipe, making it painful for him to breath. Every breath feels like a sharp knife sliding down his throat, right to his heart. An agonizing pain expands in his chest all over to his lungs, making his knees weak and his eyes blur.

"I don't understand..." his voice hardens up as he realizes the pain someone he loves is causing him.

"You're joking right?" the frown on his forehead becomes a clear sign of discomfort.

Camille takes an automatic step back, giving him time to absorb the news. Instead, Adam is caught up trying to comprehend what has gone wrong for Camille to make this decision. Wondering if it's his fault if he could have done better in any way.

"No, Adam. This is not about you..." Camille whispers although to see him so fragile and breakable hurts her more than she ever imagined. Adam stops thinking coherently for a second and decides to face her.

"It's not me, it's you? Really? Are you kidding me!" dominated by the pain and madness wrapping his heart.

Camille freezes by the abrupt grip on her arms, she sees the berserk emotions taking over him. She's been there many times with her Steve. Looking at her pale reflection in his angry eyes, to see her beloved Adam turn into a barbarian like Steve hurts her soul.

"Yes, Adam. It's me, it's always been me." she reminds him in a breakable voice that snaps him to reality. Letting go of her trembling arms, he takes a step back.

"Camille..." the surprise to see his fingers marked up on her arms. Camille smiles sourly, rubbing her skin. She picks up his jacket from the ground and hands it to him.

"We're not the same, I am not the sa..." she tries but the pain of pushing Adam to look so miserable beats her to the ground.

"Stop it already!" Adam cuts her off.

"It's the truth, Adam!" Camille cries her heartache to see how much agony she's causing the boy she used to love so much.

"You know it's the truth." she cries begging him to accept the reality.

"How can you say that? How can you give up so easily?" he argues in a low crushing voice.

Camille can see the doubt in his eyes, Adam doesn't believe there's a future for them, but she's everything he loves. Someone he wanted to protect forever, be strong for. Be someone good for, show her that not everything is darkness and pain. Show her that he's trying his best to keep a smile on her face.

"You're confused..." he repeats defeatedly, which stabs Camille in her core, she sighs sorely.

"Adam..." her voice quivers as Adam realizes that she's crying because of him.

"You don't deserve this..." Camille admits, hardly seeing his face behind her tears.

"Yes, it's about me, about me not letting the people I care about be happy!" she cries full of guilt and regret, for forcing Paige to feel like she's doing something wrong. For not being able to make him happy, to make her friend's sacrifice worth it.

"I want you to be happy! I want to see you happy, but I'm not making you happy. Can't you see that?" realizing the anger she feels knowing that she's failed to make someone else happy. Someone she cares for.

"I'm happy with you!" Adam argues back. Camille shakes her head because words can't make it out of her throat.

"Just don't leave..." he pleads, wrapping her in his shaken arms. His heart slamming against her ears, his breath loudly gasping down this throat. Forgetting about being strong Adam lets the tears out. Camille wraps her arms around his waist.

"I know the world doesn't revolve around me, but my world revolves around everyone I love." she tries to make up the words for him to understand her feelings.

"In some way or another... I'm in the way of their happiness, of your happiness..." she stutters as he squeezes her.

Hearing his heart pound loudly, tears in his honest eyes. Camille forces herself to stop her tears for him. Pushing him away, she raises her head to the sky, without noticing it has already turned into dusk. The sun is going down and it's when the sadness strikes down to the core. The end of a sunny day drains the energy and the spirit, making the sorrow an agony. Camille takes a deep breath and wipes her tears as the cool breeze makes them shiver.

"I loved you so much...." she stops to take another deep breath.

"I loved everything about you. Your hair, your eyes, your voice, your gentle hands always reaching out to take mine." tears reappear again as the memories flash in her mind.

"But what I loved the most was your smile. That bright smile that lightened up my soul and made me forget my hell. Your smile was like the sun to me..." she stops as every word feels like thorns ripping her throat. Camille used to love the caring boy in front of her, looking at with lost eyes, begging her to stay but it's just unfair to them both.

"You don't smile anymore, Adam..." Camille says remembering how happy they use to be before she disappeared.

Adam's eyes widen with shock to realize himself that she's right. He's always worried about where she is, and what if she disappears again. Immediately hating himself for not doing a good job in covering up his uneasiness. Forcing a smile to keep her calm, but Camille has noticed all along.

"It breaks my heart to see you like this. It's worse than going down by myself..." she reaches out to wipe a lonely tear escaping his eyes.

"You deserve better, so much better... I can't take you down with me." Camille holds his hand gently.

Adam sees how hard he's making it for Camille to pull herself together, even if he has a lot to say. He stops, Camille never spoke more than a couple of sentences before. To finally see her speaking up her mind, saying what she truly feels. He pots to stay silent and listen to her desperate voice. Her pain has gotten to a point she can't take it anymore.

"It's unforgivable to me to keep you with me when I don't even know who I am and what I want," she says with a certainty he never saw before.

Adam can't say anything, anymore; the last thing he ever wanted is to hurt his beloved girlfriend. The fragile girl he has seen go through painful beatings but never cried. Now she's sobbing, bawling her eyes out because of him. For his happiness. He never wanted to be the reason for her tears, but in the end, and by the irony of life. He's the reason for her regrets.

"I understand..." Adam whispers with a shattering heart.

He loves Camille to the point he would let her go if she can get her smile back. All the memories flash in his mind, how beautiful she used to be with a tender smile. Maybe their reason has been the same all along, to keep fighting for each other's happiness. Adam wanted her to keep her peace, he thought he could make her happy but Camille wanted him to keep his peace, and being with her it's cutting short that chance.

Adam swallows his pain and gives up everything to free Camille from her self-destructing torture. Taking a deep breath, he takes a moment to gather the courage he has left. Standing up straight with his head held high Adam gives her the brightest smile he can pull together. His feels hot as he suppresses his emotions, his eyes fight back the tears. Camille breaks down instantly to see his effort.

"If that's what you want. I'll let you... go." Adam stutters the salty tear falling down his cheek, but he doesn't waver. His soul ripping apart but there's nothing but love for her. Camille nods, and cries. Cries like she never did before.

Hurting Adam has never been something she wanted to do. Seeing him cry hurts her more than she ever imagined but as devastating as it is, he'll get up and feel better after a while. After all, he's a normal boy with no dark struggles like her.

"I'm sorry..." she says again.

Tasting the tears, listening to her heart break as the sun hides behind the horizon, feeling her knees lose their strength, Camille lets all of it hit her as hard as it can. Letting it out, and just hope that soon it gets less painful for Adam. Hoping that he'll have his smile back by the next day. She looks up at the navy-blue sky and falls to her knees to cry one last time.

**side note: this is the most difficult chapter I wrote in this story. I hope you guys like it.**