Louie woke to the sight of Peyton sitting in a chair beside her bed, leaning over his knees, contemplating his hands. The Compound lights were bright. In the distance she could hear the sound of voices, laughter and footsteps beating a tattoo on the concrete floor.

Louie stirred and Peyton's attention snapped to her, his thoughts clearing from his eyes. Louie winced as she shifted, closing her eyes as pain ripped through her. Peyton watched her, concern written in every line of his face. As the pain slowly subsided she opened her eyes, finding Peyton's strong gaze locked on her.

"How long have I been out?" Louie asked, her voice rough and raspy.

"A few days."

Louie tried for a weak smile, but only managed a grimace.

"I half expected you to be gone by now fighting a legion of Crawlers."

Peyton's lips curled slightly.

"With all the Compound bureaucracy I have heard and faced in the last few days I almost did go. But I couldn't leave until I knew you were okay. How are you doing?"

Louie rolled onto her back, a new surge of pain coursing through every nerve and muscle.

"Just dandy." Louie sucked in a tight breath through her clenched teeth. "Peyton, can you grab Teresa or the doctor? Anyone with a brain."

"I don't count?"

"You willingly living outside and fight Crawlers. You were blessed with a lot of things, but I'm not sure a brain was one of them."

"I survive, don't I?"

"I will admit that. Then just get me a doctor."

Peyton smiled and looked out into the Med Wing. He made a quick beckoning motion and a set of footsteps hurried over. Abby came into view and smiled at Louie.

"Abby, get me anything to make this pain go away."

Abby nodded and hurried off.

"Peyton, help me."

"I see, now I'm useful for something."

"I never said you weren't."

Peyton wrapped his arms around Louie and gently eased her into a sitting position. Abby returned, a cup of water and pills in hand. Louie gratefully took the meds.

"Do you need anything else?" Abby asked.

Louie shook her head, but then stopped, reaching out one hand.

"Let me see my chart."

The clip board was placed in her hands and Louie slowly read through it, the words seeming to take longer to register than usual. The chart dropped to her lap and she tiredly rested her head against the bed.

"Not as bad as it could be," Louie said. She looked at Peyton. "How is everyone else? Jonas? Trevor? Luther?"

"They're all fine, Jonas was up and about this morning. It seems he was eager to get back to normal life. Luther's shoulder is fine. Trevor's arm is wrapped up. They are reassigning him for the time being to another section until he gets better."

"Good. How are you doing?"

"I haven't gone anywhere, but other than that, I'm fine."

Louie nodded, feeling her body relax as the meds kicked in and the pain dulled to a faint aching. Silence fell between them. Louie's gaze drifted from Peyton to the far side of the Med Wing. After a long period of silence Louie spoke.

"Do you know how long ago it happened?" Louie asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Peyton didn't respond right away, unable to look at Louie.

"They said it was about four days before we returned."

Louie nodded, renewed shock numbing every inch of her body.

"They had the funeral the next day," Peyton continued. "They didn't know when we would be back."

Louie nodded again. Her brain told her she should be a puddle of tears soaking the bed. That she should scream, or pass out, but she did nothing, just stared at the far side of the Wing.

"What happened?" Louie asked, her voice detached.

"He got sick, it seemed like just a cold but..."

Peyton didn't go on and Louie knew he didn't need to. She was a nurse. She knew exactly what happened. It wasn't the cold that killed Chief, but the cancer that weakened his body. Breaking down the defenses he normally would have had to fight the cold.

The flap to the Med Wing opened and Teresa stepped inside, her gaze finding Louie at once. Louie met the look and saw the fear, grief and guilt that was splattered plainly on her features. With tentative steps Teresa walked over to Louie's bed, her fingers tight knots.

"How are you feeling?" Teresa asked, her voice so far from the professional tone Louie knew so well.

"I'm fine." Louie said.

Teresa tried to raise a small smile, but the attempt never made it all the way.

"Look Louie...I have something I need to tell you..." Tears started to gather in Teresa's eyes and her throat tightened.

"I know Teresa," Louie said. "And you have nothing to feel guilty about. Both Chief and I knew that it was going to happen. There was nothing you could have done to stop it."

Teresa sank onto the bed beside Louie, the tears spilling over.

"But he got it from me. I know he did. If I had sent Abby to check up on him instead of me maybe..."

Louie reached out and took Teresa's hand.

"This is not your fault. I don't blame you and Chief wouldn't either."

The sincere tone of Louie's voice broke Teresa's self control and she bent over Louie's legs, unable to hold in the flood of tears. Louie gave a tired sigh and placed a gentle hand on top of Teresa's head.

Her heart felt burdened, by her own unshed tears and the weight of comforting someone else's. After a minute Teresa rose and brushed aside the remains of her tears, trying to look more composed.

"I'm so sorry, Louie."

"Don't be," Louie said. "I have no doubt that you made him as comfortable as possible and looked over him in every way you could. For that I am extremely grateful."

Teresa smiled this time, the burden, that had been heavy on her own heart, lifted.

"I did and he went peacefully."

Louie felt her throat tighten and the weight in her chest double, but no tears came. Teresa stood.

"Can I get you anything?" Teresa asked.

Louie shook her head.

"Alright, just call if you need me," Teresa said, her tone reverting its usual professionalism.

Louie nodded. What little energy she had had on waking was gone. Every limb felt heavy and her body ached for sleep. Moving slowly, Louie eased herself back down to the mattress.

"Peyton?"

"Yeah, Louie?"

Louie's eyelids dropped closed as the world began to drift away from her.

"Don't leave. Not yet."

His voice seemed to come to her from a long ways away, as he took her hand.

"I'm not going anywhere."

*******************

Louie spent the next six days in the Med Wing, coming in and out of consciousness. With each new day her strength returned and her wounds healed. Marc stopped by twice a day, giving her updates on the Compound and reporting on how everything was running. With each new update Louie felt herself reverting to her old self, taking everything in stride with an impassive expression.

On the night of her sixth day in the Med Wing Louie was jolted awake, her dreams still hovering before her vision. Her father's voice ringing in her ears. Around her everything was still, her only companions layers of blankets that gently rose and fell. Peyton lay sprawled on the bed beside hers, his breathing slow.

In sleep the years of pain and struggle melted from his features, making him look younger. Louie swung her legs off the bed and tentatively placed her feet on the ground. Her twisted ankle had returned to its normal size and the pain had gone. She tested it, placing small amounts of pressure on it until she was sure it could handle her weight. Her body ached, but the worst of her pain had passed by.

Quietly, she pulled on her boots and slipped out of the Med Wing. Everything looked as it always had, as Louie walked about. She paused at the entrance to the Cage. Her eyes traveled to her father's office. She couldn't find the strength to move closer, so turned away and continued her midnight stroll. Louie barely had time to register the whisper tread, before Peyton was beside her, rubbing his eyes.

"You should be asleep," Louie said.

"I could say the same for you."

Neither argued, but neither made any sign of returning to the Med Wing. They said nothing as they walked. Their footsteps barely broke the silence.

"How are you doing?" Peyton asked.

"Physically, mentally or emotionally?"

"I'll take any response that isn't fine."

In the low light and the quietness of the Compound Louie could almost imagine it was if they were back outside, sitting beside the fire. The walls she had been building back up, since her return, vanished. The mask that had slid back into place lifted. She crossed her arms, half hugging herself. She found herself aching to be beyond the barrier.

"I don't know," Louie said.

Everything in her felt hallow. No tears had ever come. There was a numbness inside her that hadn't left since she found out about her father's death.

"I'm sorry, Louie," Peyton said.

"Yeah. Me too."

They kept walking, their path unknown to either of them, but neither of them cared.

"When do you leave?" Louie asked.

"I don't know yet. Marc has offered me a job in Security if I decided to stay. Marie has dropped a number of hints that I would always be welcomed back with her section."

Louie's lips curved gently.

"But you won't stay."

Peyton ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't know, I could."

"Peyton, this isn't your life and we both know it. I only finally understood you once we were outside. You might be able to live here comfortably for a month or two, but past that I know you would be miserable."

"Maybe I'll stay a month or two then."

Louie looked at him and he met her gaze with a serious expression.

"I'm not worth your sanity," Louie said.

"Isn't that my decision to make?"

Louie stopped walking and faced Peyton, her face hard.

"Peyton neither of us would be happy. You're not designed for confined spaces and I have to lead a Compound. I would know how miserable you would be stuck here. I couldn't live with that."

"Louie-"

"Peyton, please," Louie said, placing a hand on his chest. "Please, don't make this harder than it is. I will be happy for how ever long you do choose to stay. But don't make me the reason you force yourself to be something we both clearly know you're not."

Peyton held her gaze for a long moment and seemed to read something in her expression because he nodded and gave her a resigned smile.

"Alright Louie."

Louie's shoulders relaxed and her hand dropped away.

"Thank you."

They started walking again, their thoughts drifting away from each other, letting the silence encompass them for a long while. When Louie finally spoke her voice was quiet.

"I didn't think it would feel so different being here without him," she said. "Like it's not even home anymore. I always knew it was coming. I'm a nurse I knew that this moment would come, but..." She paused, guilt flooding her. "I always figured I would be there when it did. He had to die without me by his side. How do you deal with that?"

"I don't think there is a way to ever really deal with it. You can move past the pain of it but there will always be things in the past that you wish you could change. That won't go away."

Louie glanced at him.

"What do you wish you could change?" Louie asked.

Peyton gave a sad, wry smile.

"There's too many things to count. So take it from me, you're not alone in what you feel."

Louie nodded.

"Do you think he blamed me for leaving? Should I have stayed? Maybe if I had he would still be here. This place wouldn't feel foreign to me now. I wouldn't feel like I have failed-"

Louie was pulled up short as Peyton rounded on her, holding her upper arms.

"Louie, listen to me," he said, his face serious. "I know this might sound harsh, but you need to stop. You can't do this to yourself. Your father wouldn't want you doubting yourself. He knew the risks and he let you go. One word from him would have kept you here, so don't think he didn't know what he was saying yes to. Do you hear me?"

Louie's shoulders sagged.

"He died alone."

"No, he died surrounded by the family he built and helped protect for years. That's something worth being surrounded by. Its something worth protecting."

"How will I ever be able to take his place. I thought I had time."

"Louie you have spent the last three years learning how to take his place. You can do this."

"I always imagined there would be a moment when I knew I was ready. Now without him here I feel as if I'm not ready at all."

"Louie, he wouldn't ever want you doubting yourself. Not now that you need to be the leader that he raised you to be. Understand?"

Louie took a deep strengthening breath letting Peyton words sink in. Once they had taken a solid hold in her mind, she straightened, leveling Peyton with a steady gaze. The corner of Peyton's mouth twitched and he released her arms.

"That's the Louie I know."

Louie smiled.

"Thank you, Peyton."

He nodded.

"Come on," Louie said, starting to walk again.

"Where are we going?"

"Back to the Med Wing. We need to get sleep because tomorrow I have work to do."

*******************

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