Greya's POV...

I need help.

So, I've called in the reinforcements. AKA, our group of friends. It's Sunday and we usually have dinner together anyway.

Lox has been almost completely silent this weekend. He doesn't want to talk about what he experienced...again, and I don't blame him. But, his silence in general is too concerning and I'm going crazy not knowing what to do to help him.

Oddly enough, he hasn't had a seizure since the biofeedback session... knock on wood.

Instead, he seems more at ease by staying close to me at all times. He'd rather have his arm around my shoulders to help him get around, choosing not to use his crutch. When we're not walking from one room to the next, he's holding my hand. His mood changes whenever I leave him for a brief minute and he watches me like I'm going to disappear. I think he knows more of what happened in that house that night than the story we were all told, even more than what Liam knows and he was there.

Since he won't talk to me or anyone else, all I can do is be here for him in what ever way he needs me to be. He's given me very few words, mostly when he's needed help with something and the only revelation of that tragic night is that he says his real father knows who he is.

We don't know if that's true or not because we've all been told that his father has no idea he exists. His own grandfather is convinced of it too and so are the Collins. Lox is adamant about it but won't elaborate. The only other person who thinks differently and sides with Loxley is his deranged mother. Who knows, maybe she does know something we don't. Lox is definitely keeping what he knows to himself. But I can see he's doing it out of pure fear. He's trying to be strong about it all and I want him to know it's ok to not be ok sometimes, especially when it come to something like this.

Currently, we're walking into the living room together and I'm unsure what to do. Maybe playing the piano will help or a quick nap, I don't know.

"Do you want to play the piano?" He shakes his head no. "How about lay on the couch with me for a while? We have another hour until everyone gets here?"

He nods his head instead of using his voice. We sit down together and he winces at his leg. He's been using me as his crutch all day, so he doesn't need his brace on. His muscles are probably cramped but he's not willing to admit anything he's feeling.

"Lay back and I'll remove your brace and massage your leg and foot for you."

He does what I suggest all while watching me with his watery aqua eyes. His beautiful eyes have been glossed over all weekend yet he hasn't shed a tear. Whatever is going on in his head has been a constant battle. The demons are overpowering his sense of well being and controlling his mind and body. I wish I could fight them for him because he's fought long enough.

I lay down beside him, he shifts his body so we're able to be facing each other. Our legs intertwine and he drapes one arm over me while I hold his face in the palms of my hands. I want him to look at me and see that I'm here for him.

"I love you, B. So much. I wish I could take away everything terrible you're feeling right now. I wish I could help you through this better." My thumbs softly brush across his cheeks. He does his best to blink the tears away, but one lone one escapes, so I lean in and kiss it away.

"Y...you are h..h..helping," he stutters then clenches his eye shut and sighs. "I'm trying t...to k...keep it t...together."

I pull his face closer to mine and kiss his forehead. "You don't need to keep it together, not with me. Talk to me. It doesn't have to be about that night, talk to me about anything you want."

"I n...need y...you to hold m...me. Please." He hasn't stuttered this much since he first started talking to me a few months ago. He's beyond nervous and upset and it's messing with his speech. Probably another reason why he doesn't want to talk. His speech has really improved lately and this weekend the stutter is constant and I think he might be feeling ashamed about it.

There's only so much a person can handle before they fall apart, or in his case, fall apart and have a seizure.

I hug him tight and he burrows his face just under my neck. Our legs are tangled together and I'm rubbing his back. We can't get any closer and I'm totally fine if this is what he needs. It's what I need too.

Soon I feel his body shaking as he quietly sobs. His wet tears soaking through my shirt. "Let it out, I'm right here with you."

He needs to let go of the pain and what he suffered through, mourn for his past self so the next steps can be taken to move forward.

"This is h...his f...fault. H..he did this t...to m...me. H...he drove m...my mother insane, she l...left Jack because of h...him, she l...left us. H...he made her so crazy, she m...made Alec take c...care of me in th...the hospital and r...rehab. M...my own mother didn't w...want to see m...me learning h...how to eat or s...sit or stand on m...my own again. Because of him, J...Jack tortured m..me over and over and Alec, r...rather Liam now, suffered just as m...much and h...he didn't d...deserve that." He pauses and takes a few breaths to calm himself down. "Jack's bullet h...hit m...me but it was m...my father who turned m...me into a c...cripple who c...can't even sp...speak straight."

I squeeze my arms around him again. I'm pretty sure I'm crying now too, but I can't do that because I'm supposed to be staying strong for him.

"Why?" He whispers.

That does me in.

"I don't know, B. I just think there are evil people in this world and two terrible people happened to be part of your life. Sometimes there's no logical reason why bad things happen to someone or why evil people inflict harm on others. None of what happened to you was ever your fault, you know that, right?"

"I...I know," he whispers again.

"What you went through could've turned you evil as well, but you didn't let that happen. You persevered beyond the hate and abuse and loneliness and chose to love instead. You are selfless and caring. You choose right over wrong. You are talented and strong willed. You don't give up. You became everything good and your parents never deserved to have such a wonderful son. They missed out on knowing and caring for you the way I do. I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world with you in my life."

He stays quiet. No longer sobbing while resting his head against my chest.

"You'll never go through anything alone again. I'll always be here and so will our friends. Your parents will never hurt you again either, we won't let them."

"My f...father still c...could."

"I don't think he can. Too many people keeping tabs on him."

"What if h...he can? I c...can't lose y...you Grey."

"You're not going to lose me, your father isn't going to hurt us."

"Y...you don't know th...that f...for sure."

"No, I don't but I believe we're safe. We have people looking out for us this time, more than last time."

I run my fingers through his hair as his head stays resting over my heart, listening to its rhythmic beat.

Forty minutes later our friends are here with all the food. Fynn and Chase arrive shortly after with sodas.

I wait for Fynn and Liam to sit next to Lox before meeting Cohen in the kitchen.

"How is he?" Cohen asks.

"Not good. Still not talking much about what he remembers, only saying his father knows him and can still hurt him, or us."

Cohen's preparing the steak tips while I get some glasses and ice for the sodas.

"I didn't want to ask Liam about what happened that night because it was too traumatic for him to try and recall all the details. I did ask him if he thinks Lox's father recognized him during the arguments , before the guns went off and he says he doesn't think so. He was only 16 and everything was confusing and happening so fast. There was a lot of arguing and yelling and the next thing he remembers are the sounds of bullets."

I had Cohen try and see what Liam remembers without making him try to re-live everything.

"I'm sure Liam wouldn't have noticed or even known that other man was Lox's father. I'm sure it was chaotic and traumatizing for him. Thanks for asking him gently," I thank Cohen.

"What do you think we should do tonight Grey?"

"I don't know. Maybe remind him you're all here for him if he wants to talk, and try to act normal so he feels more comfortable. Honestly, I wish I knew what to do. This is the longest I've left his side all weekend."

"Hey Grey, I think you should go and sit with Lox. He doesn't look so good and I think he was trying to ask for you but he's stuttering like crazy. Liam's trying to get him to talk," Fynn says.

Fynn offers to help Cohen get the rest of the food ready so I can go back to the living room.

Liam's sitting next to Lox, talking about something. Lox isn't engaging but his eyes zone in on me immediately.

I sit down on the other side of him and snake my arm around his lower back and pull him into my side. I reach for his hand. His skin is cool and clammy. His face is pale and his breathing shallow. He's either going to be sick or have a seizure or both.

"Lox, what's going on? Tell me please."

"I...I...I need t...to g...go lay d...down."

I look to Liam. "It's ok Grey, I'll let everyone know he needs to rest. We'll take care of Chase," he says.

"Thanks Liam. Make sure everyone knows to stay and eat. We will come back out if we can."

"Let me help him get to the bedroom first," Liam offers.

Lox doesn't have his leg brace on so Liam's help is much appreciated. We both take a side and throw Lox's arms around our shoulders and help him stand. Both his legs are shaky as we help him to the bedroom and sit onto the edge of the bed. I still don't like his color or the way he's breathing.

Liam leaves us and I ask Lox if he wants to take a shower because he's sweating through his shirt.

He shakes his head no and then stutters, "I'm g...going t...to b...be sick."

I grab the trash can next to the bed and get it under him just in time. He mostly dry heaves from not eating all day and when we think he's done, we get to the bathroom in time for him vomit again.

I lock my bedroom door and then turn the shower on. Lox is sitting fully clothed on the toilet seat looking defeated. His skin remains pale and his clothes drenched. I help him remove his wet shirt and he begins apologizing.

"S...s..sorry. I'm s...so g...gross, y...you w...won't w...want to touch m...m..me.....damnit!"

"Hey!" I step up to him and cup his face. "You don't need to try to talk, and I don't care how gross you are."

His handsome face brightens with a small smile.

"I love this smile," I lean down and kiss his lips. He smiles a little more this time.

"Come on, let's get you in the shower."

The rest of the night is uneventful, thank goodness. Lox felt better after his shower and ate a little of what Cohen cooked everyone for dinner. After that we slept in each others arms until morning.

Now that the sun's up, Chase will be getting out of bed any minute now. His Apple watch is programmed to tell him how many hours he's slept so he knows when it's morning.

I slide myself from Lox's arms and give him a kiss. "Morning Handsome. I'm going to to make sure Chase is up and getting ready and I'll be right back. How are you feeling?"

He rubs his eyes and sits up slightly. "B..b...bet." He sighs.

"Better?"

He nods. "Not m...my sp...speech."

"Your speech will get better too. You've been so stressed and the things you remember are not easy on you. Give it a little time."

I kiss him again. "I'll be right back."

Somehow after our tiring and eventful weekend, we manage to get Chase and ourselves to classes on time.
Lox should've taken the day off but he insisted he needed to use his classes as a distraction.

"Are you sure you're good? We'll meet back here for lunch?"

We have different classes this morning and I'm afraid of leaving him. We're holding hands as he walks with me to my class first.

"Give m...me a h...hug."

His good arm's occupied with his crutch so I wrap my arms around him.

"I l...love y...you. Don't e...ever forget th...that."

"I won't forget, I couldn't. Love you too, handsome. Text if you need me to get out early or for any reason, okay?"

He nods and bends down to give me a kiss. "I'll b...be fine Love. I p...promise. See y...you soon."

I watch him walk away and can't rid the strange feeling I suddenly have. Gotta be my nerves or the tough weekend we had, though my gut is saying something else.  He'll be fine, he said so, and we've promised to tell each other when we're not. So, I just need to make it through class and meet him for lunch.

Once in class, I find my seat and take out my notes. Hell if I remember anything the professor talked about before dismissing us.

We haven't talked or texted in the two hours we were in class, so I'm texting him now.

No answer. I try calling him. No answer. Now I'm thinking the worst. I call Cohen and he hasn't heard from Lox. Finally I reach Liam and he hasn't either. I basically call everyone we know including the campus medical building in case he had a seizure in class or something.... Nothing.

At this point, I'm beginning to freak out and rush to my car, hoping he's at my place sleeping, or maybe his phone died.

When I get into the car, there's a note on my seat.

Love,
I'm so sorry to have to do this, but I need to take care of something important. Try not to worry, I'm okay and everything will be better after I do what I need to do. I'll be back by tomorrow night and will explain everything then. Please forgive me.
I love you more than anything.
~ B