Lox's POV...

The first and last time I told Greya I loved her, I ended up dying.

That's why she cried at the hospital when I told her again. Or should I say, when I as Loxley, told her I loved her again for the first time.

Of course I don't remember that dreadful night or anything before it. Six days have passed since Greya's team won the championship game and five days ago Chase came home from the hospital. I've been telling her I love her every day since, even if it makes her cry because I know one of these days, my supposed death will fade into the background and she'll realize I'm still here with her and she has my whole heart.

These things will take time, like everything else. I had no clue at the time, why me confessing my love for her caused her tears to fall. At first I though she was overwhelmed about Chase's surgery and that she had passed out earlier from PTSD and exhaustion. But, as this past week went on, she continued to be teary eyed every time I said "I love you."

So, after a few days, I finally got her to talk to me about what was bothering her. To my surprise, I learned a little more about what her and I went through the few hours before I was shot. No wonder why she's been so emotional.

I've actually learned a lot more about her lately too. I'm sure she once told me how her parents died and how she found her father, and when her grandmother died, but she broke down last night and told me everything all over again and this time I was the one shedding tears for her.

To have gone through all she did growing up and then have the love of your life ripped away from you in the horrific way I was taken...Bless her heart for persevering through it all.

She played in her championship game after much persuasion from all of us. I'm glad she played. We all watched her game as it was streamed on TV. She played amazing as usual and what impressed us all the most, was that instead of scoring her 100th goal, which she could've easily done, she saw her teammate in front of the net with her and passed to ball off to her so she could have the glory. We were dumbstruck and proud at the same time. Greya is the most selfless human being I know and I'm one lucky guy to have her by my side.

"Should we go to the bagel shop before class?" She cheerfully asks me as she's currently massaging the tight calf muscle in my bad leg. I've been having more issues with my hamstring and calf this week so I'm limping more. The perks of having a brain injury and a stroke, I never know how my affected body parts will behave.

Another thing Greya worries about. She worries about me all the time and is always doing what ever she can to help my limbs cooperate better for me. I can't get her to stop worrying, it's just who she is. I appreciate everything she does because she makes things easier for me but at the same time, her mental health is also top priority and I'm doing what I can to help her too.

Like helping her talk through her feelings and what triggers her sad emotions. Last night was hard for me to hear some of the things she's been through, but I know talking about it was good for her. She's happy and smiling today. I only wish I had a normal working body so she wouldn't need to be doing these stretches and things for me, in order for me to get out of bed and walk.

I'm disabled and may be this way for the rest of my life and the last thing I want is for my disabilities to become a burden for her. I was once her able boyfriend and I've come back into her life a broken one and she still loves me anyway.

Today I have my scheduled PT, OT, ST and I'm going to try out some new technology and adaptive devices that might give me more independence. I'm supposed to do more pool therapy too, which I dislike very much, but it benefits me and will ultimately benefit Greya too.

"Why are you so quiet this morning?" She asks while climbing up onto the mattress and laying beside me.

I just want to lay here all day and curl up around her. We can skip class again, what's one more day?

I wrap my good arm around her and cradle her into my side. Her intoxicating cinnamon and apple scent engulfs my senses and awakens my desire of her. I need to kiss her and feel her skin against my own. The thought alone is both rousing and frightening. How do I pleasure her without my bad arm getting in the way? I can't be on top and if I'm on the bottom, she'll be doing more of the work.

"B?" I feel her warm hand glide under my shirt and brush across my abdomen. Instant goose bumps erupt.

Fuck! I'm not prepared. I want more of this but I need to plan it out so I don't disappoint her. What is the best position? How do I use one hand while my other hand balls up into a fist?

"Breathe Lox?" She softly reminds me as her hand trails further up my chest and I feel her fingers graze over my nipple.

She rubs small circles around it and my bad arm jerks up towards my chest. This is exactly what I'm afraid of. Her hand and fingers feel so nice and half my body is too paralyzed to reciprocate appropriately.

I look towards my bent arm, my other arm is still wrapped around her shoulders. "I'm s...sorry, I.."

Shit! I'm nervous. Does she even find me attractive the way I am now?

"Are y...you attracted t...to me? Ph...physically? I'm s...so attracted t...to you. Y...you're beautiful in e...every way. I...I don't want th...this to ruin anything," I refer to my partially paralyzed left side. And I'm stuttering, definitely not romantic. What happens if my brain decides to throw a seizure in the middle of an intimate act.

She continues tickling the skin around my nipple and then she climbs up on top of me, straddling her knees on either side of mine.

"What ever happens happens. We can take it slow. This is new for me too."

WTF! Did I say all that out loud? How does she know what I'm thinking? God I love her.

She lifts my shirt up higher and I sit up slightly so she can pull it up and over my head. Next she tosses my shirt onto the floor and begins removing her own shirt.

I swallow the lump in my throat and keep my gaze focused on her perfect athletic toned body.

"You are very attractive. I've always thought that and I always will." She leans forward and kisses me.

"These lips are perfect." She kisses my cheek. "Your face is perfect. She kisses the corner of my eye and then softly kisses the scar above it. "Your eyes are soulful and wondrous and the most brilliant shade of blue that I often find myself lost in them. Your scar is a beautiful testament of survival. You're beyond handsome in my eyes."

She then sits up and removes her bra, letting it drop to the floor beside our shirts. "You're b..beyond b...beautiful in m...my eyes, Love."

She is truly beautiful inside and out. For a moment I feel confident and reach out to touch her smooth skin. I run my fingers along her neck, down over her collar bone and along her sternum. She feels amazing to me and we've only gotten this far.

Her hand lands on top of mine and guides me to her breast. When I brush my thumb across her erect nipple she closes her eyes and tilts her head back slightly. I swear I hear a faint moan escape from her and my dick immediately reacts.

Now what? I need to do everything with one hand. I need to stop over thinking and just do.

Her eyes open and she takes over before my confidence disappears. She reaches for my bad arm that's bent against my chest and pulls it towards her. She slowly rubs her fingers into the pressure release areas of my forearm and hand so my fingers relax. She's making this feel more intimate and showing me my disabled arm isn't affecting the way she feels about me in this moment, plus the fact that she's on top of me half naked helps too.

She then guides my left hand to rest onto her lower back and I can't help but sneak both of my arms around her and pull her down so she's flush against me. We're skin to skin and she borrows her face into the crook of my neck and peppers me with light kisses. I kiss her back and nibble her earlobe. This feels so good but I need more and she does too.

"I'm g...going to r...roll us onto our s...sides."

"Okay."

We both stay connected while we roll over together, I'm now on my left side and my useless leg and arm can stay pinned to the mattress. This way is easy for me to wrap my right leg around her and use my right arm to do everything else.

"Is th...this alright?"

"Yes. I want you to touch me." She takes my hand and moves it down towards the waistband of the yoga pants she's wearing.

My hand slides into her panties and my heart swells with happiness and more confidence realizing how wet and ready she is for me. She is attracted to me.

I slowly move my fingers to her sensitive area and gently rub, causing her to moan again. I can feel my bulge ready to bust through my shorts and she feels it too. While I focus on pleasuring her, she slips her hand into my boxers and grips my cock. My breath hitches at first contact. Then she begins stroking me up and down, her fingers tighten around me and I almost forget what I was doing. So, I try and focus on her again until we're both in similar rhythm. Her fingers work faster and so do mine.

"F...feels so g...good."

"Yes, keep going," she breathes.

We release at nearly the exact time and hold each other tightly afterwards. I'm not sure if I've ever done that before, but this felt special. From here we can only make it better and maybe I won't be as afraid of doing it wrong next time.

I feel her lips press into my neck one more time.

"I l...love you, G...Greya."

I feel her body shake slightly. Tears again.

"Please d...don't cry. This is d...different now, I'm n...not leaving y...you, I'm right h...here and I w...want you to know I l...love you. I h...have always loved y...you. I may not r...remember much b...but I know in m...my heart th...that you're the only p...person I've ever l...loved. Thank y...you for loving m...me too."

She looks at me and I wipe her tears away.

"I love you too. And please don't ever think you're not attractive. I love all of you. On your good days and your bad days and all in between."

"Okay. I p...promise to b...believe you if y...you promise n...not to cry wh...when I t...tell you I l...love you."

"Deal," she smiles.

"I th...think we sh...should seal it w...with a kiss."

"Good idea."